Rose Blumen ~

(Nightmare)

I observe the cells multiplying inside an animal organism.

I delve and observe everything further, closer.

How this cellular organism functions, how it multiplies and keeps overall coordination.

How they avoid some forms of otherwise accessible resources for an improved efficiency of a wider good.

How yeast behave elsewhere I study hereafter. How they relate and how they differ. How achaea are cousins to bacteria. How plants and animals themselves differ to them and one another. How bacteria can become host to another in various ways and differentiation.

How cells and unicellular organisms become more than slimes or simple arborescences fascinates me, and feels like a theological equation. It's the challenge to understand these.

Where I focus in the way I am, I can guide now some tiny transformations and changes beyond what I am. I tweak the assembly of aminoacids into specific proteins, assembling around lipids to make fibres. I test these assemblies against collections of various and different muscles fibres. Then into cellular systems I gathered from everywhere I could find.

There is too much to learn and various levels of gaps in complexity I need to bridge intellectually.

It feels like a world of knowledge to discover and interact with. One far more interesting to my eyes.

I need to steady myself and also increase my capacities of analysis and memorising data to better comprehend all these phenomena I observe. Simply observing how cells is already an enjoyment, a ground for countless questions and ponders.

A branching tree of complexity and domains to explore starts on this level of reality. Life on Earth multiplies.

It makes me stretch my understanding and perceptions in every direction. To understand its processes, their many options in chemistry, their relations to lower energy exchanges and higher reproductions of informations.

It's a complete blender and endless volume of data. I'm opening eyes to a storm of patterns and repetitions, with higher orders of magnitude at each lower level.

I train my perspective of reality to reach such levels, to become able to perceive and interact with millions of cells at once.

I myself continue to fluctuate as an entity looking for itself around this city. And as my focus lingers on these shows, as I spend time reaching out for samples and then doing my experiments in a quiet corner of the land, I gradually find my way.

With less stress than in the earlier struggles.

Humans do come by still, once in a while, and always hostile.

But now they're no threat. Only pesky and bother. Although that last one I caught burning my fringes made me realize how they were also animals and walking samples to analyse.

Their thoughts still parasite my own painfully, but I can still hit back now.

And bodily, I drained the samples I fancied. I instilled enough fear in their heads so they'd never return to bother me again and tossed them outside.

Between my hands, the live samples are precious books to understand. I read them and use them until all and every page and cell has been consumed.

It still leaves me unsatisfied. The more I learn, the more I realise how much I lack.

As learning grew, I also increased my capacities for experiments and deeper analysis of biology on cellular level, and soon quite as much on atomic level.

I grew new organs made from my own blood and these floating energies I mainly feed from now.

They are made for the purpose of observing and interacting with cells at these different levels and on wide scale. It was relatively easy.

To increase the magnitude down to atomic scale was another challenge which I won't master just yet. It will take me a little time to build.

But I managed my early successes by concentrating on these blood cells holding some higher energy levels in their organelles. These blood cells from strangers outside my realm are higher in energy than here, and that helps focusing some elemental aspects, and the cruder tools I'm building.

I finally managed to turn individual ionic exchanges on the surface of cells into a perceivable phenomenon to me.

One step closer to my dream... A strange thought.

I discarded the pointless thoughts and doubts. I refocused on evolving to better see and better interact, less with the world around me than some of my raw instincts dictated; and more with life surrounding me.

And above everything else these warm lives nesting around the city, living peacefully along with me.

I kept growing the structures of my own brain, still years away from finding a suitable solid material to inhabit probably.

My brain is filled with remnants of old instincts and knowledge, no matter how much I already forgot. As I work my best to create new fundamentals, I still make the better use of what's left of the old ones.

I'm fine without clearly defined membrane separating me and my environment. That's not the only aspect to define life anyway. I'm not focusing on changing that for the coming while.

Life thrives. I observe the infinite numbers of smallest interactions that make these exchanges what language called life. I manage to overcome some of these abstract definitions.

I see beyond this old but still useful pillar.

I take patience to create better tools and test my learning in further experiments. Toward things maybe less elementary. I tweak a germ for another design, and watch if grow differently, randomly.

Ah... I study the cascades of interactions and correlations unfolding before me with warmer curiosity.

~