Rose Blumen ~

(Aïsshean)

The part of me that was this new kind of monster, it would stand up on its legs eventually. Death was a slightly off topic for a demon such as me, or a being like me now...

But what remained of my humanity grew even dimmer under the strain and exhaustion.

It felt like falling down again. And oddly, the further I fell, the more it felt I could see. As if things otherwise obscure naturally were gradually illuminated to my new deeper eyes.

Past. Memories. What lied on the other side of that sea and new reality.

The slower and deeper my mind feel, the more I could link to and see, about this cosmological background to the new side of reality...

~

I couldn't tell time, nor place.

It was too old and blurry, with a sensation of red shift more than anything to everything.

Concentrated back in closer time and narrower localisation in space, all of that was fading while appearing bigger in darkness, as I would surmise it into one sight.

Not exactly a big bang or even an explosion on the horizon, but at least an exposure.

An exposition a little like I had below, bright and energetic enough to imprint a mark and perhaps a momentum on everything.

Back when the red cosmological background of this place was localised, it felt like the similar intense and burning stare of an eye. A violet star or smaller thing was irradiating everything, changing everything.

And through that shockwave and constant flood of highly energetic light, some other thoughts drifted away. They were like fragments of older planetoids now scattering through space.

But they were immaterial. And some of their structures translated roughly into my makeshift senses now that they echoed through my slowing down impression of brain.

The meaning of all things for that violet eye, or the source of elements it scattered through explosion, it wasn't in their finality but in their origin. The purpose was in the past, invisible from our perspective.

As much as this thing radiated everything away, there was a volition of introspection also transpiring in the way it flowed over itself endlessly.

But further origin of things, earlier causes prior to this bright explosion, they were now unreachable, lost beyond the horizon.

There was a forgetfulness, maybe not entirely unlike mine currently, that was vibrating with me.

Unreachable memories from the beginning of things, how it started for either of us, as they simply were lost. What we were before, where we came from, how we had been made or come to be.

Gradually fading behind the picture growing.

Time and space erase most things of wider history, making us vulnerable and petty. Nothing would be left from the origin.

The sensations of loss reminding me of my own, eventually overwhelmed me and that monster. The demon was not obeying familiar logics of bodily functions, to a point stretching the definition of life and death again.

The infinite sight of the sky coursed through me, as I felt the weight of my own corpse for a moment again.

Reality beyond the edge of death was painful and fleeing. Because more than reaching impervious eternity, as in any religious fantasy, we were aware of how much this was just a last gasp in agony.

Our mind would simply dissolve a few quanta of entropy later. In time, sooner or later, this was more law than theory. Feeling the end embracing us was painful and terrifying honestly.

We knew enough about the physics of reality to really seize what death absolutely meant.

There were no heavens nor hells, nor metempsychosis for monsters or demons to be.

Or these other planes would simply be empty...

Nothing lasts beyond the heat death of what builds their identity.

That sadness and fright endured, even long after their original owner were gone.

A sensation of older death was prevalent in that background. A lot of death...

Incurred by this very same weapon.

I couldn't see anything hinting me at what else this tool could ever be meant to do.

So possibly that had simply been its purpose from the start, and maybe we just weren't the first ones turned to dust and abominations by this violet monstrosity.

But I still had a few glimpses of the sky of cloudy seas from above, and more permanent memories involving this castle where and when it apparently happened.

I felt indirectly the previous explosions of its impulsive lights. I felt the waves of stones and fire, like volcanic eruptions, slowing down.

Had that thing opened a volcano? Maybe it had that much power.

But then I felt along the palace how the tremors changed. How the place changed its shape slightly, obeying another will back then.

Another will, thin and vanishing differently, it changed something, and broke the anchors...

I felt like the last wish of another spectre much older. It could have simply been a very long history of winds, dusts and erosion. But I felt that invisible shiver coursing through the palace, and eventually breaking all its remaining anchors.

Something else, long before I arrived, also felt this thing should remain unopen.

To prevent another catastrophic release in the same land, it was severed and left to drift away, like an abandoned plagued ship becoming ghost overseas.

So that a distant land would be spared from another catastrophe...

Maybe this memory wasn't that old, only distorted. It felt to me as if this weapon fired, and as it killed nearly everyone on Earth anyway, it was then left to mysteriously drift away...

~