Romantic Gangster

#53

Ji-woo burrowed deeper into the blanket and recalled Hyun-joon’s face, grinning as he climbed the stairs for the last time.

‘I’m really going now, so don’t cry because you miss me. Just hold on until morning.’

The pleasant voice speaking with a playful expression and the smiling face clearly visible even in the darkness kept lingering before his eyes. He missed Hyun-joon.

Ji-woo reached out from under the blanket and picked up his charging phone. Opening the messenger app, he saw a message saying Hyun-joon had arrived home and a selfie with the rooftop room in the background. Despite the unusual angle to show the rooftop room, the face in the photo was so handsome that he couldn’t stop looking at it.

[Hyun-joon: Good night]

[Hyun-joon: I’m going to sleep after showering now]

Just then, Hyun-joon’s photo scrolled up as a new message appeared. Startled, Ji-woo quickly read the message.

[Hyun-joon: ?]

[Hyun-joon: You’re not sleeping?]

[Hyun-joon: What are you doing, looking at my photo instead of sleeping?]

Caught red-handed, Ji-woo panicked for a moment. He started typing that it wasn’t true, but realizing that would make it seem weirder, he erased it and pondered what to write. Meanwhile, Hyun-joon’s messages kept coming.

[Hyun-joon: Seo Ji-woo is now caught and wondering what to send]

[Hyun-joon: Just admit it lol]

[I just came in to say good night too]

[Hyun-joon: You think you can lie just because I can’t see your face?]

[I’m going to sleep now, you should sleep soon too]

[Hyun-joon: Look at you ignoring me because it’s not in your favor]

Embarrassed at being caught again, Ji-woo pushed the phone away, and soon the screen lit up in the darkness. He could feel messages continually coming in, but he didn’t look, knowing they were likely teasing remarks. Soon, the screen flashed for a long time in the darkness.

“……”

After a moment of hesitation looking at Hyun-joon’s name on the screen, Ji-woo answered the call. Although Hyun-joon would probably tease him, his desire to hear Hyun-joon’s voice before sleeping was so strong that he didn’t even consider not answering.

“Why aren’t you checking your messages?”

“I was going to sleep…”

“If I knew you’d look at it so much, I would’ve sent a better photo. I just took a quick one for proof. Next time I’ll send you my handsome face properly.”

“That photo from earlier… looked good too.”

“What? Are you suddenly admitting you kept looking at my face?”

“I just looked at it before sleeping because I thought of you, and you happened to send a message then.”

When Hyun-joon suddenly went quiet, Ji-woo checked his phone screen. The call hadn’t been disconnected. Wondering why Hyun-joon wasn’t saying anything, he put the phone back to his ear, and Hyun-joon’s voice finally came through.

“Can I come to your house now?”

“Suddenly? Why?”

“I miss you so much.”

“…It’s too late. Let’s sleep and see each other in the morning. It’s almost 2 AM. You’ll be so sleepy at school tomorrow.”

“Okay. I’ll try to hold on until morning. Go to sleep quickly.”

“Okay, you sleep well too.”

“Seo Ji-woo.”

“Yeah?”

As Hyun-joon called his name before ending the call, Ji-woo silently waited for what would come next. Just hearing his name called made his heart beat fast.

“I like you. A lot.”

“…Me too.”

“Sleep well.”

“…Okay. See you tomorrow, Hyun-joon.”

Noticing that Hyun-joon wasn’t hanging up first, Ji-woo ended the call and held the warm phone close to his chest.

‘I like you. A lot.’

Hyun-joon’s voice echoed in his ears, circled in his mind, and grew larger, expanding in his heart.

“……”

Feeling his heart full to bursting with Hyun-joon, Ji-woo slowly exhaled. Still, his pounding heart wouldn’t calm down at all.

It seemed it would be difficult to fall asleep quickly.

* * *

Hyun-joon lay in his lit room, staring blankly at the ceiling. Ji-woo’s face floated on the ceiling. Seo Ji-woo running towards him as soon as he saw him, Seo Ji-woo saying he “fucking” loved him, mimicking his words despite it not suiting him, Seo Ji-woo repeatedly saying he really liked him, Seo Ji-woo asking if it was the right timing to kiss… Seo Ji-woo nodding when asked if he could kiss him, Ji-woo… Ji-woo.

Hyun-joon jumped up from his bed and took off the thin t-shirt he was wearing, throwing it aside. Just recalling one of the many incredible things that had happened from a little past 10 PM until just now made him feel hot, and he couldn’t stand it.

‘We’re dating now, right?’

When Ji-woo’s face asking if they were really dating came to mind, he couldn’t even sit on the mattress and got up to pace around the room. And when he recalled Ji-woo answering “yes” to the same question he had asked back, he ended up going out and lying down on the outdoor deck.

“…Wow, shit.”

Who knew that getting a “me too” in response to saying “I like you” could feel this amazing? He hadn’t really thought much about such things being meaningful before, so dating and being in a relationship felt a bit unfamiliar, but he liked it.

He didn’t think he’d feel this good even if he had about 10 billion won and loving parents. That’s how much he liked that Ji-woo liked him. Thinking that Ji-woo would look at him with the same eyes, the same heart as his… his heart felt so full that he could only mutter expletives like exclamations.

‘Hyun-joon. Today, I’ll hug you.’

Ji-woo’s face approaching him, saying he had been worried, lingered in his mind. How could someone be so kind and affectionate? He wanted to be that kind of person for Ji-woo too. Someone so lovable that just thinking about them would make your heart warm, erase all sensitivity, and make you keep smiling.

‘You had a tough day today. I was worried… It felt so empty without you. The classroom was empty, the cafeteria was empty… My heart was empty too.’

Although he knew Ji-woo liked him too, hearing such direct concern left him at a loss for words. Still, not wanting to create an awkward atmosphere by stumbling over his words, he had intentionally responded playfully, never dreaming that Ji-woo’s real confession would follow.

‘If you feel that empty after not seeing me for half a day, isn’t that a serious problem? At that level, it seems like you’ve already gone beyond just liking me. Seo Ji-woo, you really love me, don’t you?’

‘Yeah, I guess so. I guess I really fucking love you. What should we do now?’

Hyun-joon, mulling over the word “love” that had come from Ji-woo’s lips, suddenly sat up on the outdoor deck. His entire body was burning.

There was a big difference between noticing that Ji-woo liked him and Ji-woo actually telling him that he liked him… It was so different that he couldn’t handle it in his right mind. He felt like he was going crazy, unable to express how good he felt.

He wanted to shout at the top of his lungs so that everyone in the world could hear, or leap from building to building like in superhero movies.

“…This is driving me crazy.”

Seo Ji-woo likes me. Seo Ji-woo. I’m dating Seo Ji-woo… We even kissed, fuck.

‘…Mmm…’

Recalling Ji-woo’s moan-like sound when he rubbed the tip of his tongue against his, Hyun-joon felt a sudden tightness in his lower abdomen. He pressed on his stomach, which was already firm but now even harder, trying to calm his half-erect lower region.

He felt like his brain had melted from the dopamine rush. He was too excited to sleep, so he thought it might be good to exercise to calm down his lower half as well.

Hyun-joon took out the push-up bars stored under the deck and lay down holding them. Long breaths flowed with each rise and fall of his long body.

‘You told me to think quickly, but why don’t you believe me when I’ve finished thinking and given you an answer?’

…Would you believe it if you were me? When someone as kind and beautiful as you says they like me. It’s not my guess or fabrication, but you saying with your own mouth that you like me, how could I believe that in one go?

I need to check if it’s a dream, try to remember if I threatened you to accept my confession without me remembering, and quickly think about whether I can be someone worthy of your love.

‘I really like you.’

The moment Ji-woo’s voice saying he liked him came to mind, the strength left Hyun-joon’s arms. He collapsed onto the rooftop floor. He couldn’t hold back the laughter escaping him.

Pushing aside the push-up bars, Hyun-joon turned over and lay flat on his back. He’d need to shower again and rewash his clean pants, but none of that mattered.

What did any of that matter when Ji-woo liked him? Now he could do anything. Because Seo Ji-woo liked him.

The autumn breeze of dawn brushed against Hyun-joon’s slightly sweaty face. Even the passing wind made him chuckle.

The day that had been so embarrassing he wanted to disappear had somehow turned into the happiest day of his life.

With that elation and excitement repeatedly washing over him, his body kept burning, and Hyun-joon had to lie on the rooftop floor for a long time.

Still, it was a dawn filled only with happiness.

* * *