R.O.B. 37

May 1st, 1991 – 04:20 P.M. – Surrey Suburbs

The trio had returned to Privet drive, the same as in Josh's memory. Harry was cleaning now—or close enough if his Aunt's voice was anything to go on.

Harry's thread pulsed green on the HUD, and the passive sigil stayed dormant. Stability check confirmed. Safe for now.

Josh exhaled and opened his inventory overlay, flipping casually to the Quest Log. A flicker at the edge of the interface caught his attention.

[Chat tab!]

------New Message------

[Chat: Active - 4 Contacts Online]

"Huh. That's new."

The system shimmered again, and something tugged.

[System Notification: Transfer Ticket Evaluated - Compatibility Met. Transfer Sequence Imminent.]

"What the hell do you mean 'evaluated'?! I haven't even looked at it!"

The messenger function popped open on it's own.

CHAT:

[Merlin]: Do not waste this chance, Joshua. The thread unwinds, but only if you give it slack.

[R.O.B. 37]: Hey, "meatbag". Live a little. You earned this. Roll the dice. Smash a timeline or two. Just don't get caught.

[Hunter — ☤ Son Of Apophis]: ...

[Brad ("Toon Town's Nightmare") ]: ....

Josh blinked. "Who the hell are Hunter and Brad?"

[Chat Restricted - Chat Admin not yet in the system]

"Oh, come on."

[World Ticket Activation Confirmed]

[Destination: The Citadel of Ricks - Outer Citadel Region]

[Stabilization Thread Anchored - Auto-return Enabled]

The streetlight flickered.

The world shuddered.

And then it all dropped away.

Interdimensional Transit – Thread Secured

Josh landed not with a thud, but a pause.

One second, Surrey. The next, the Citadel of Ricks: a monument to unchecked ego, infinite intellect, and deeply casual war crimes.

He dropped low beside a ledge overlooking a long hallway crammed with Ricks arguing about Morty quotas.

Then he saw him. Morty, red jacket, wild eyes, clutching a strange glowing cartridge wrapped in tape and desperation. Pursued by three drone-guard Ricks.

[Target Identified: Rick C-137 Neural Archive - Complete]

"Here we go."

Josh flicked his wand, freezing Morty in place. The hallway shimmered, and the Ricks staggered as Josh cast a second charm vibrating the floor.

"Sorry, kid. I need that."

"Fuck! Who are you?! Why are you doing a Batman voice?!"

Josh plucked the cartridge from Morty's hands. "Borrowing. Also, fair critique."

He cracked the cartridge into his inventory. The inventory grid glowed gold.

[Memory Core Secured - Contents Pending Decryption]

Sirens. Footsteps. Cursing Ricks.

"Time to go."

Vault Tier 9-A: Central Storage - Citadel Core

The portal gun was locked behind a shimmering field. Standard Rick-tech safeguards. Josh touched the field. Magic shorted the lock like a whispered threat.

"Manual override. Meet wizard with a grudge."

The field collapsed.

[Item Acquired: Portal Gun - C-519b, Untagged]

[Inventory Updated: Neural Archive | Portal Gun]

He turned to the rear wall. Giant pressurized tanks, humming faintly.

Uncorrupted Portal Fluid.

[Collected: 2.4 Liters - Sealed Containment]

Sirens grew louder.

"No time for subtlety."

He fired the portal gun at a wall panel and stepped through as shouts echoed behind him.

Fountain Forest – Fillory Adjacent, Earth-linked Realm

The wind was too calm.

Josh landed in a thicket of silvergrass under a twin-moon sky. Trees hummed in languages older than thought.

[Location Identified: Fillory-Adjacent Realm]

[Item Detected: Fountain Transfer Token]

It was nestled on a mossy plinth, glowing faintly. A copper button the size of a knut. Covered in glyphs.

He stepped closer.

No guardian. No traps. Just… inevitability.

He took the token.

[Item Acquired: World Transit Token (Fountain-World)]

The wind sighed approval.

And then the portal gun whined again. Its coordinates had reset to the return anchor.

[Auto-return Initiating in 10...9...]

Josh didn't fight it.

Return Point: Surrey, 04:20 PM

The alley stank of damp trash and diesel.

Josh exhaled as the shimmer closed behind him.

[World Ticket Expended - Return Successful]

[Inventory Synced: Neural Archive, Portal Gun, Fluid, Transfer Token]

[Chat: 1 New Message]

[R.O.B. 37]: Now that's how you loot with style. Proud of you, kid.

Josh grinned. Then frowned.

Harry's sigil pulsed twice.

He was moving again.

Observation - Privet Drive, 9:30 P.M.

Harry sat by his window, legs drawn to his chest. The light was off, but Josh could see him clearly through the sigil-thread. The boy was staring out into nothing, rubbing his temple.

Still too young. Still too tired.

But alive.

Josh perched on a low rooftop across the street, the shadows folding around him like a second skin. He didn't interfere. Not yet.

He just… stayed.

Let the world rotate around this small, shivering node of fate.

He pulled the copper button from his pocket. It pulsed softly.

And for the first time, the neural archive flickered open inside his vision. Strings of Rick's memories laced through schematics, spell-equivalents, tech-spite, and brutal irony.

He smiled.

Harry shifted in the chair.

Josh whispered, "See you soon, kid."

The stars above London blinked, like they knew a secret they weren't telling yet.

And the night held its breath.

...

May 1st, 1991 – 09:43 P.M. – Privet Drive – Tree Canopy, Northeast Corner

The elm branch flexed slightly under Josh's weight as he adjusted his perch. The street below glowed orange with the kind of soft sodium haze that made everything feel still. Harry was now asleep returned to the cupboard under the stairs, like he was trying not to take up space in his own life.

Josh's gaze lingered. Just a boy. Fragile in a way the world refused to acknowledge.

The system flickered. Then chimed.

[System Update: Optional Quests Available]

"You've been busy. Time to get nosy."

Josh raised an eyebrow. "Oh, that tone again."

A translucent interface blinked into view in front of him, smooth as silk and just as smug.

🔸 OPTIONAL QUESTS – MAYHEM MENU UNLOCKED 🔸

"You're not required to interfere. But we know you will."—System

"Black Veil, Blacker Cell"

Objective: Confirm Sirius Black's innocence. Break him out of Azkaban by any means necessary.

Optional Objective: Free Sirius legally using the courts.

Additional Note: Investigate goblin inability to contact Harry Potter via heir channels.

Rewards: 5000 EXP • Inherited Black Family Magic • Vault Priority Access

System Note: "Wrongfully imprisoned, criminally stylish."

"Who Let the Time Lord In?"

Objective: Track down the wandering entity known as The Doctor. Identify his intentions in this reality.

Bonus: Initiate non-violent contact.

Rewards: 3500 EXP • Temporal Beacon (1 use) • Resistance to Soft Paradox Events

System Note: "He's probably already watching you. Smile pretty."

"Recruitment? Abduction? Tomato, To-mah-to."

Objective: Use your current gear to convince three multiversal companions to join your cause.

• Cyberpunk 2077

• Star Wars: KOTOR II

• Fallout Universe (any branch)

Bonus: Companions arrive voluntarily and don't try to kill you.

Rewards: Companion Sync System • Portable Cross-World Inventory • "That's Just Theft" Title • Party tab system tool

System Note: "Teamwork makes the timeline bleed slower."

"Greyback Problem"

Objective: Neutralize Fenrir Greyback. Lethal or non-lethal at your discretion.

Bonus: Ensure no similar successor emerges.

Rewards: 4000 EXP • Rare Blood Magic Scroll • 700 Galleons

System Note: "Some monsters don't get redemption arcs."

"Crouch and Cover"

Objective: Prove that Barty Crouch Sr. illegally freed his son. Track the switch.

Bonus: Leak evidence to the right people.

Rewards: 3000 EXP • Restricted Ministry Cipher • Pensieve Memory File

System Note: "This one's got layers. Peel carefully."

"Cleanup: Horcrux Edition"

Objective: Locate and destroy the following Horcruxes:

• Slytherin's Locket

• Hufflepuff's Cup

• Ravenclaw's Diadem

• Tom Riddle's Diary

Bonus: Identify any outliers.

Rewards: 8000 EXP • Soulfire Spell Branch • Curse Resistance+

System Note: "They're soul bombs, not fashion accessories."

"So You Got a Letter…"

Objective: Create an orientation guide for First-Gen witches and wizards and their families. Cover life post-Hogwarts, job pathways, and laws no one tells them about.

Bonus: Include interviews with non-human communities.

Rewards: 3500 EXP

• Author's Prestige Bonus

• +Multiverse Stream Tab (Chat Add-on)

System Note: "You're now officially more useful than the Hogwarts staff."

"Prophecy? Denied."

Objective: Break or nullify known and classified magical prophecies.

Bonus: Develop passive countermeasure against prophetic bindings.

Rewards: 6000 EXP • Chaos Fate Trait • "The Future Can Suck It" Title

System Note: "Imagine telling fate to go kick rocks. Then do it."

"Department of Misinformation"

Objective: Infiltrate the Department of Mysteries. Expose their experiments and concealed programs.

Bonus: Recover evidence of tampering with magical memory and time loops.

Rewards: 4500 EXP • DoM Skeleton Key • Access Token: Chamber of Origins (Single Use)

System Note: "Wear gloves. And maybe a disguise. Or three."

"Bugged and Printed"

Objective: Catch Rita Skeeter in illegal Animagus form.

Bonus: Blackmail optional, poetic justice encouraged.

Rewards: 2000 EXP • Veritas Quill • Ministry Media License

System Note: "Breaking and entering counts as journalism, right?"

...

Josh blinked.

Then blinked again.

"...That's a lot of side quests."

The interface shimmered, as if smug.

[System Note: "Surprised? You did say you wanted options. Welcome to the sandbox, pal."]

[Additional Note: Quest overload not covered under warranty.]

Josh exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair as he leaned back against the tree trunk. Privet Drive lay quiet beneath him—too quiet for how fast his mind was spinning.

He muttered, "Alright, before I commit to a full-blown chaos buffet... let's see where I'm at."

With a flick of thought, the HUD shifted.

PLAYER STATUS: Joshua Myrddin

Level: 15

EXP: 14,275 / 18,000

Title: "The Anomaly"

Class: [None Assigned] – Multiclass Eligible

Current Inventory Highlights:

• Portal Gun (C-519b)

• Rick C-137 Neural Archive – Decryption in Progress

• Transfer Token: Fountain World

• 2.4L Uncorrupted Portal Fluid

• Collapsible Shield Watch – Activates into a round, physical shield of mithril and goblin silver, rune-inscribed.

  → Capable of resisting and reflecting magical attacks, including curses and spellfire.

  →Compact and wrist-mounted when inactive.

  → Still functions as a watch. Tracks moon cycles and star paths.

• Multiversal ID Token – Psychic-paper analog with interdimensional legitimacy; adjusts to local bureaucracies by sheer force of narrative will.

• Wand –

  → 14½", Unyielding

  → Wood Blend: Rowan, Ebony, Elder, Snakewood, Ash

  → Core: Thunderbird Tail Feather

  → Handle: Basilisk skin with rare earth onyx inlay

  → Metal Binding: Mithril & Goblin Silver  

• Custom Wand Holster – Basilisk leather, forearm-mounted; auto-sealing. Pairs with wand like a murder-happy soulmate.

• Collapsible Battle Staff – Oak base, reinforced with dark silver alloy, eight core channels; currently wand-sized.  (Ollivander's Last Battle-Mage Set – Limited Edition. Literally.)

Additional trinkets and hand made tools on second page.

Quest Rewards & Miscellaneous Loot:

• Enchanted 3-Piece Suit Set – Sapphire-black-bronze weave; armored, climate-adaptive, and self-repairing. Self Cleaning. May induce spontaneous charisma.

• Uncharged Lightsaber Handle (Chameleon Style) – Bonds to destiny. Refuses to explain further. Indigo blade. 

• Miniature Pensieve (Single-Memory Model) – Stores one memory externally.

  → Warning: other people may not like what they see. Especially if they're in it.

• Bonus Reward 2: Eye of Agamotto Replica (Mystically Inert — for now)

  → Can read encrypted magical texts. Once recharged, may restore a lost memory. Also makes you look like you have a plan.

Additional trinkets and hand made tools on second page.

Base Stats: (Human Average = 10)

Strength: 15

Dexterity: 17

Constitution: 15

Intelligence: 52

Wisdom: 30

Charisma: 15

Perception: 30

Luck: 42 ("Enhanced by questionable life choices and a very persistent death.")

[System Evaluation:]

"Look at you. A self-trained protagonist. Four years of sweating it out the hard way like a pre-MCU Cap, and you've just now unlocked me. Adorable."

"Would've gotten anime stats by now if you hadn't annoyed half the upper pantheon using Merlin's actual damn name."

Josh muttered under his breath, "Yeah, remind me not to irritate any more interdimensional bureaucrats with mythic legal clauses. That one's on me."

He cracked his knuckles softly against the tree bark, casting a glance toward the quiet window of Number 4.

"Still... reckon I ain't doin' too shabby, all things considered."

Then, dryly, with just a hint of that sarcastic London edge he'd picked up after four years of tea, rain, and passive-aggressive niceties:

"Could use a touch more narrative convenience, but I'll manage."

The Optional Quest Tab blinked into existence again with the smug energy of a cat knocking something off a table.

The interface shifted—slick, stylized, and a bit too proud of itself—like whoever designed it really wanted to be that guy in a trench coat with glowing tattoos and a cursed deck of cards.

At the top corner, a single icon pulsed in warm gold.

[Multiverse Stream Add-On: UNLOCKED]

—Chat Update Pending—

"Because if you're going to juggle timelines and multiversal fallout, at least let the crowd throw popcorn."

Josh leaned back into the crook of the tree, arms folded and boots braced against the bark. The system glowed faintly in the air like a conjured ghost with too much personality.

He gave the display a lazy side-eye.

"Alright then," he drawled, more Southern than not, but with just a hint of posh mockery curling at the edges. "Let's dance."

A pause.

Then, smirking faintly:

"And try not to break too many timelines on the first date."

Below, Privet Drive slept.

Above, a single streetlamp flickered.

And far behind the veil of reality, the multiverse stirred.