Rising Shards

The lights were out, and Oka, Lillia and I were all in our sleeping bags. Kalei had some blankets and was lying down on her couch. Roux, Latte, and the Matora sisters had gone home. We had another movie on TV, but the volume was a lot lower.

“Kalei,” Oka said. “We didn’t even get to the whole point of this thing.”

“Huh?” Kalei asked.

“Oh yeah, I totally forgot!” I said. “It’s fine if you don’t want to or if you’re not feeling it or anything.”

“I uh…hmm…” Kalei said. She fidgeted around a bit.

“What was this about, again?” Lillia asked.

“Kalei had some questions about stuff.” I said. “And she wanted to wait for like the real late night for them.”

“It is dark,” Kalei said. “And we’re all still awake.”

“Can we get like a nightlight or something? That’d set the mood.” Oka said.

“The TV not good enough?” Kalei asked.

“It’s fine, but I want more ambiance.” Oka said.

“Here, one sec.” Kalei got up and grabbed a small device that she plugged in. When she turned it on, it lit up and projected stars on the ceiling that slowly moved around. “I got this when I was ten, it’s still working which is pretty cool.”

“Now there’s some ambiance.” Oka said.

“Gotta grab one more thing.” Kalei said. She ran upstairs.

I held Oka’s hand as the stars slowly moved across the ceiling.

“Just like the one at the library.” Oka said.

“Which means it might have that boob constellation Stella was talking about.” Kalei said as she returned downstairs. “Did she tell you which one that was?”

“I didn’t ask…” I said.

“It’s Straighten’s Row.” Lillia said.

“Well, now there’ll be one constellation I remember the next time we have a test on that.” Kalei said.

“What did you go upstairs to get?” I asked.

Kalei proudly held up two packs of glass bottles.

“I got these just for this.” Kalei said. She used a bottle opener on four of them and gave one to each of us. I couldn’t see the label too well with only the TV lighting up the basement. But the bottle had lots of grooves on it that spelled out something.

“These don’t contain…” I looked around, then whispered, “Alcohol, do they?”

“No, it’s just root beer.” Kalei said. “But it’s like premium root beer. I thought like glass bottles would make this feel more adult or something. And since they cost more than regular pop, I didn’t want the Matoras or especially Roux to find out about them because they’d find some way to waste them.”

I took a sip. It tasted rich, what I supposed I would imagine premium root beer to taste.

“How do you waste premium soda? Drinking it too fast?” Oka asked.

“Yeah, the Matoras would definitely just chug them and not savor them, you know?” Kalei said. “And Roux would probably just dump it on the carpet to be spiteful. You guys will savor it.”

Kalei drank some of hers like it was something alcoholic, then sighed deeply. It kind of looked like she was trying to act like how she pictured an adult that had to talk about big things.

“So I’ve thought about it a lot and…I dunno,” Kalei said.

“Take your time,” I said. “We’ve got all night, right?”

“Sure, but I wanna sleep a little.” Kalei said. “And I wanna say this stuff when I’m kinda drowsy, but kinda keyed up. So tonight’s perfect. Even if this is something I’ve never like really said out loud. But it’s you guys. So it feels safer? I dunno.” She fidgeted a bit on the couch, and finished her first bottle of root beer, and opened another. “OK, this one I’ll really savor.”

“You brought them, drink them however you want.” Lillia said.

“Maybe go a little easier on her.” Oka said.

“I’m going very easy,” Lillia said. “I’m trying to not make her feel overwhelmed about how fast she’s drinking her soda.”

Kalei was too busy conjuring the nerve to talk about what was on her mind to react to Lillia and Oka there. Even though I’d talked with her a bit about figuring out sexualities and stuff, I don’t think she’d had any real deep talks about it with a group.

“I’m gonna see Nikki again soon,” Kalei said. “I think. I hope. And with my like, crush, or whatever. I just wanna figure out me a little more before I see her. Right? Is that dumb?”

“I personally greatly admire your thinking here.” Lillia said.

“Yeah, it’s always good to try to figure yourself out more I think.” I said.

“Cool, cool, so I’ve been thinking more about it, like more seriously than before.” Kalei said. “And I think…” She took a big gulp of her root beer, finishing her second bottle off. She opened another and drank some more before continuing. “Pretty sure I’m gay. I try to think about boys or whoever else and my mind just turns them into girls. So that’s pretty gay.”

We all nodded.

“Congratulations!” I said. “I know you told us you had a crush before, but more congrats on having a label you’re feeling comfortable with.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Kalei said. She got out her phone. “I thought it would help if I wrote some of this stuff down. Like my questions and such on the note app thingus.”

“How…oddly diligent of you, Kalei.” Oka said.

“Another reason I got you guys those root beers to bribe you, because when I finished my list and part of me actually thought this was a good idea, I also thought about how weird and dorky this is so...” Kalei said. “Alright, I’m getting this one out of the way first. Do you guys think I could be maybe faking this?”

“You’re not faking it.” Lillia answered immediately.

“How do you know? Maybe I just gave into peer pressure or something.” Kalei said.

“I suppose it’s theoretically possible, but I doubt it,” Lillia said. “If you’re worried that you’re faking it, you’re probably not faking it.”

“I agree with that.” I said. “Unless you’re a way better actor than I knew, when you told me how you were feeling for Nikki…that was super real.”

“Yeah, well, I get all like jittery and crap around her and think about all the time and…yeah.” Kalei said.

“You jumped into the lake to cool off just from hanging out with her at the movie that one time.” I said.

“You’re not faking it.” Oka and Lillia said in unison.

“Alright…well, next question then.” Kalei said. “Oh, Lillia, did I tell you about Nikki? Or did you kinda gather that when you swiped my phone and sent her a text?”

“She did what?” I asked.

“Long story short, Lillia pushed me to text Nikki.” Kalei said. “By taking my phone and sending her a message from it.”

“I somewhat pieced things together, yes.” Lillia said.

“Right. Thinking out loud here,” Kalei said. “But—if this is dumb cut me off—but like. Lillia, I have no clue about how much. Um. Experience you have? You seem pretty assured about it so like. I wondered if Zates was a secret player, and I think I’m passing that onto you now.”

“I’ve never dated anyone,” Lillia said. “But I’ve had many crushes.”

“She may not have conventional experience, but she’s really good to talk to for dating advice,” Oka said. “Lillia really pulled me through when I was figuring my Zeta stuff out. So she’s perfect for this talk!”

“My next question’s more for Zates and Oka, but I got something just for you too coming up.” Kalei said.

“I look forward to it.” Lillia said.