Side Fangs #139: “Wildfire Hearts Resolutions”
Ms. Corinani arrived late. She tried to make a joke about it, but no one laughed.
“Ahem, so anyways.” Corinani said, realizing she brought a bunch of random magazines instead of her lesson plan. “Welcome to uh. The mandatory…new years resolution class. This is definitely a Rising Shards idea, because, heh, it sucks…”
No laughter. Just a class of Wildfire Hearts students who’d recently had to move schools, some more than once, sitting in a classroom at Rising Shards.
Finally, someone raised their hand.
“A question! Yes, let’s hear it!” Corinani said.
“What’s with the thing on your neck?” The student asked.
“Oh, this?” Corinani said, gesturing to the black choker around her neck. “Just a fashion thing. You don’t have to ask about it. Please don’t ask about—"
“Oh, that?” Kitty Kilander said as she strode into the classroom.
“She was waiting for someone to ask,” Corinani said. “If no one asked, then maybe she would’ve just stayed out here.”
Kitty stopped by Ms. Corinani and grabbed her by her collar with a pointer finger.
“That’s to keep bad girls in line.” Kitty said.
“Wholly inappropriate for class,” Corinani said.
“Oh, shut up, you still put it on when I told you to.” Kitty said.
“Because you said I’d be fired if I didn’t wear it!”
“I was kidding.”
“More like bullying!” Corinani said. “And now I can’t figure out how to take it off.” She fidgeted with the choker.
“It’s…really not that complicated.” Kitty said, sounding almost genuinely concerned for half a second.
She made some honking noises before turning to class. “So everyone hate the new digs yet? Sucks being at Rising Shards, yeah?”
“It’s a lot brighter. Like in the halls and such.” One student said.
“True, Wildfire Hearts is so dungeon aesthetically,” Kitty said. “It’s a bummer. But this place is all goody two shoes, which is also bad. So anyways, what were we doing?”
“The students have to give their goals for the new semester.” Corinani said.
“Right…” Kitty said, looking bored already. She sat down at Corinani’s desk and started typing on the laptop.
“Make sure you log out of my account, before you…” Corinani started as Kitty loaded up a video site to watch a clip compilation of a reviled sitcom.
“Well, anywhoodle, class!” Corinani said. “Let’s show some Wildfire Hearts school spirit! Gimme a W! Gimme an I! I was on the cheerleading team when I was your age. Well, the e-cheerleading team. We RP’d cheerleading. I…got cut from the team pretty quickly. But it was a fun few weeks! Or. Week. There isn’t anything wrong with RPs, you just have to make sure you have the right group. And let’s just—”
“Can we get on with the resolutions or whatever already?” Laenie asked. She pushed up her sunglasses and stood up, grabbing a comb from one of her minions standing behind her and styled her hair.
“Is…are the girls with you from Wildfire Hearts or are they from Rising Shards?” Corinani asked. “I don’t have them on my lineup. You all have a lot of bikes, huh?”
“They’re my crew, th-they go where I go.” Laenie said. Two of them rang the bells on their bikes in agreement.
“OK…” Corinani laughed nervously. “Don’t wanna get beat up by a biker gang, so um. What are your goals for the new semester?”
“To prove I’m tough,” Laenie said.
The rest of the class went through their resolutions, interrupted only by Corinani’s bad attempts at comedy and Kitty laughing at worse comedy.
“I wanna prove my boss is the toughest.” Kyre said, parroted by the rest of her bicycle gang.
“If I could see Osiris live in concert at least five times, that would be ideal.” Elisa said.
“To um, not have to do spy class anymore,” Chickadee said. “It’s really boring and stupid.”
“To spend lots of time with Chellsi!” Mikeila-Keila said.
“Awww! I want to like, um, spend lots of time with you too!” Chellsi said.
“I’d love to raise some hell,” Risa said.
“To play my first concert,” Nikki said.
“Seconded.” P.D. said.
After the class finished, everyone got up and left.
“Alright, there was some more I had to do today,” Corinani said. “But. Sure, bye everyone. Gimme a W! No one? Heh…”
“Your class all hates you,” Kitty said, shutting the laptop. “But they love me!”
“You didn’t contribute anything to that class!” Corinani said. “They’re indifferent to you at best.”
“I kept you in line,” Kitty said. “Just like I was unfairly assigned to do.”
“I, er, am pretty sure I was the one assigned to keep you in line.”
Kitty repeated what Ms. Corinani said in a mocking tone.
“And what do I get for my hard work? You making me wear this stupid…” Corinani felt at the choker again.
“Hey, at least I didn’t put the leash on it like I threatened.” Kitty said.
“This stupid choker!” Corinani said as the collar finally unlocked. “Oh, it just pops off. It’s like a button. How’d I not get that for a whole week?”
“Because you’re like, really stupid.” Kitty said.
“I’m not stupid, I’m just…”
“A disaster?”
“Yes! But a smart disaster, not a stupid one!” Corinani said. “D-do you have any goals for the new semester?”
“To get it over with,” Kitty said. “How about you?”
“Oh, actually asking me?” Corinani said.
“Because the silence is worse than you talking, I guess.” Kitty said.
“I hope I become a well-respected educator.” Corinani said. “What? Not gonna laugh at me for having a goal?”
“I genuinely stopped listening the second you said ‘I hope.’” Kitty said.