Evy & Stella #63 (Dr. Diast)
I wasn’t sure what I expected for the restaurant, but I didn’t expect a full historical reenactment style vibe of the speakeasy era where secret bars were very common for Cani and Kanibari. Glitzy tinsel hung from the ceiling, a jazz band played, and a very drunk lady who claimed to be working there tried to sell us candy necklaces that we had to politely decline on, as twenty bucks for a candy necklace was a bit much.
“As you know, I am avid fan of the AB-780s.” Pippi said. “So when I heard about this place I knew we had to go.”
“Oh wow, we should have dressed up.” I said, seeing that most of the people here had fancy outfits and such on.
“What would you have dressed up as?” Stella asked. She had her hands clasped on my elbow, probably still tense from the creepy tunnel to get here.
I nodded towards a group wearing caps and suspenders. “Probably that like newspaper lad look, I dig that. I have the hat around somewhere.”
“Well, we’ll have to come back again sometime.” Stella said. “Provided the food doesn’t suck.”
“I heard it’s good!” Pippi said.
We were seated at a table near the bar. I didn’t want to drink a lot, but admittedly the glowing drinks were kind of enticing.
“Back in the speakeasy era of the Cani and Kanibari, they drank some hardcore stuff that was basically toxic sludge poison,” Pippi explained. “But loaded with lots of sweets, so tasty toxic sludge poison. In fact, if you ask for a TSP they’ll give you an authentic one. In fact, I think I’ll order one now.”
We all had to try one. I knew a bit about the era, but I was admittedly very confused when three glowing drinks were brought to us with giant twisty straws and a donut wedged in the top of the glasses like they were fruit slices.
“You ever think things are too normal and then you like go anywhere in Litus Empirica?” Stella said.
“Don’t worry, a few weeks working at Rising Shards and you won’t ever think anything is normal again,” I said.
“That’s right, you start tomorrow!” Pippi said. She raised her glass. “To Stella’s new job! And to her new hot doctor!”
“Heh…” I said as we tapped our glasses together. “So as a fan of the era, can you explain the straws and donuts here?”
“The idea was back then that the length of the straw would dilute the more poisonous tendencies of the hard drinks,” Pippi said. “That didn’t really work. But this place has to make them not like super poisonous. They’re legit and true to the times but also like won’t knock you out as greatly.”
I took a sip, and just that sip felt like it was gonna greatly knock me out. Stella took way bigger of a sip.
“Oh…dang…” Stella said.
Within a few minutes, the two were over any shyness about meeting me / having me meet their best friend and were very loosened up, chatting up a storm about their old job. Pippi was apparently on her way to Rising Shards as well in the IT section, which I didn’t have a lot of contact with but I liked having cool people work where I worked so it was good news either way.
“Pippi…” Stella blinked. She looked tanked already just from half of one of these things. I was pretty buzzed as well, but I was going a lot slower, and Stella was a lot smaller than me so she was feeling the drink effects a lot more. “How long does food take here?”
“We haven’t ordered food yet.” Pippi said. She was about the same height as Stella and was handling things similarly.
“OK, but…” Stella said. “Are there like appetizers? Like breadsticks?”
“You ate them all already,” Pippi held up the empty basket.
“No…” Stella said, sounding like she just got told her house burned down. “Evy, make me feel better about these breadsticks being all eated. Eaten.”
“Should we try and wave down the uh the food person?” I asked.
“Yes, Evyyyy…” Stella plopped her head on my shoulder. “Evy’s so cool, Pippi.”
“I’m so glad you found someone cool, Stella,” Pippi said. “You’ve had so many shitty girlfriends.”
“I’ve had like one!”
“One shitty girlfriend is like a lot!” Pippi said. “And now you have a…really cool girlfriend.”
My heart pounded hearing girlfriend. I don’t know why that label was so scary to me. Stella didn’t seem to notice, as she alternated between the gut laugh and some sniffles as she got very emotional thinking about her ex and also thinking about me.
“OK, but I will say, if you turn out to be shitty, I won’t ever forgive you.” Pippi said ominously. She slapped her tail on the ground with a plop for emphasis, which I had to try really hard not to laugh at because the noise caught me off guard.
“I’ll do my best not to suck,” I said.
“There are some things you should suck at,” Pippi ssaid. “Like them boobies. Ya get me?”
“Pippi!” Stella was back in full gut laugh mode, smacking the table . “Don’t say that out loud!”
“I’m just trying to get you the best experience here!”
“Trust me, Evy gives the best experiences, if you catch my drift.” Stella grabbed my arm. “Sorry, we get like this when we drink.”
“And when we don’t drink.” Pippi said.
“It’s fine,” I said. “Just not really used to getting hyped up this much. Especially about…” I coughed. “Yeah, like the. I usually don’t talk about...with others..."
“We can try to keep it down a bit.” Stella said. “I can’t have my Evy being uncomfy.”
“You’re fine! Just give me a minute if you throw something like ‘them boobies’ at me again. Once I get you two’s groove I’ll be fine.”
Pippi pushed her glasses up. “Evy, this may be a bit annoying of a question, but do you know anyone that’s single and is a cute girl that would date a nerdy Kanibari?” She slurped from her silly straw. “Asking for a friend."
“Lemme look through my friends and see,” I said.
Pippi squealed. “Stella, hot doctor will get me my own hot doctor.”
“As long as your hot doctor isn’t my hot doctor.” Stella said.