Rising Shards

Lillia went upstairs first after Kalei, so Oka and I followed. I had a dull sense of panic growing with each step up the stairs. For some reason, my first thought was a burglar was trying to break in and was luring Kalei to the front door. As I was mapping out how I’d use my Cani powers against a burglar, we found Kalei talking to someone waiting outside. It was Ko Matora, who for some reason had Roux and Latte with her.

“And the girls I wanted to talk to are right there.” Ko said.

“Huh?” Kalei said as she spotted us. Her expression said she did not intend nor want Ko with us tonight.

“Ko, I believe I mentioned that this was just a small get together.” Lillia said.

“You told her about…?” Kalei composed herself before getting too heated.

“I just mentioned a sleepover,” Lillia shrugged. “I actually didn’t bring up who I was going with.”

“Well, I’m a great detective.” Ko smirked.

The outdoor light mixed with the darkness outside cast her face in almost a contorted shape. Something about her smirk in that mix of light and dark made me feel very unsettled, and I thought about just grabbing Oka and running downstairs to wait this out, because this felt like it was gonna be a thing.

“Let’s all just go outside for a sec!” Kalei said. “So my mom doesn’t get mad.”

I tried to let Oka know by contorting my own face into conveying anxiety that I didn’t like this. She looked…foggy in response. I didn’t like her foggy look. Oka looking foggy was like rain falling upwards; seeing someone so bubbly look distant was almost as anxiety inducing as whatever Ko Matora wanted.

When we were on the front stoop area, Kalei shut the door behind us.

“Alright, get whatever you want to say over with.” Kalei said.

Ko scoffed. “I just want to make sure any competition for Lillia isn’t on the table tonight.”

Both Ko and Kalei looked at me, Ko with a weird judgmental glance, and Kalei with a wince that said she wanted to apologize already for whatever I was about to hear.

“Oh, god, Ko…wait…” Kalei said.

“Who’s competition here?” Oka asked.

“Aw, poor thing, little girlfriend didn’t tell you?” Ko asked.

My stomach churned, and not just from all the pizza and breadsticks I just ate. Ko was here for something I did. Something she wanted to tell Oka about as well?

“Tell me…?” Oka asked. She started looking even foggier. I wanted to just grab her and run, but that might make things worse.

“Didn’t you hear that Zeta had a huge crush on Lillia before I scared her off?” Ko asked. “I just wanna make sure she’s really actually over it.”

“Huh?” I asked, wishing we could just be back downstairs. I’d willingly play more of the video games over this. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Ko said. “Kalei told me.”

“Kalei?” I asked. I turned to her for clarification, but she just scowled.

“I know this is awkward,” Ko said. “And I know I scared you off once already, but since you’re having a sleepover here, I just wanna say. Stay away from her.”

“…huh?” I said.

“Yeah, stay back!” Roux said.

“Roux, I did not allow you in my house, and that extends to my patio. And you definitely do not have speaking privileges.” Kalei said.

“I don’t…” I shook my head, not sure what was going on. “I think I want to go back inside now.”

Ko blocked me from going back in.

“Listen, I get it.” Ko said, casually walking in front of me. “You’re trying to save face, so you don’t cry or whatever.”

“What are you talking about…?” I said.

“Dude, just fess up. Kalei told me you were into Lillia. I get that my presence scared you off to settle for Oka.” Ko said.

“I’m…really not following you.” I said. “Can you repeat all that?”

“Kalei said you had a huge crush on Lillia.” Ko said.

“Do you have the right person?” I asked. “I’ve never…liked Lillia like that?”

“Alright, you gotta leave,” Kalei said. “Right now.”

“Did you really tell her that?” I asked. “Kalei, why’d you say that?”

Oka looked to me, and I had no idea what to say to make this right. Whatever Ko was saying absolutely wasn’t right. Lillia gritted her teeth.

“And I heard about how you stole Ovie’s girlfriend from her, so you have experience cheating.” Ko said.

“That’s not what happened.” I said, anger burning up in me immediately. “That’s not…what are you saying?”

“Dude, just…” Kalei said. “What the hell are you trying to do here?”

“I told you, I just want to make sure Faleur knows that if she wants to play for Lillia, she’s against me.” Ko said.

“Ko.” Lillia snapped. “Walk with me. Right now.”

I could almost see fire burning in her eyes as she approached Ko.

“What, like—” Ko said.

“Now.” Lillia said. She dragged Ko into the dark, with Latte and Roux following her. I tried to formulate something to say to Kalei, but she started apologizing immediately.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry dude—” Kalei started.

“What was…why did you…?” Oka said.

“Listen, a bit ago, I found that thing in your game profile where you listed that you were majorly into Oka a bunch of times.” Kalei said.

“Oh…you found that?” I said. When Kalei asked me to play one of her Tyrant Rangers game, I had to make a character, and I made all the interests Oka.

“And then I maybe said something to Ko about you having a crush on someone,” Kalei continued. “And she got all weird and started prying, and I knew she’s kind of weird about dating and stuff, so I panicked. I said you had a crush on Lillia because I thought she was gonna pull something weird.”

“And that’s why…” Oka said. “Ko’s into Lillia? Oh…and that means…”

Oka looked so foggy now like she was about to fade away into the void.

“Plus side, Ko didn’t try to go for Oka…” Kalei said. “Downside is…she did whatever the hell that was.”

“I don’t…” Oka muttered. I reached out to hold her hand. She was shaking, and barely gripped me back.

“Are you alright?” I asked softly.

“No,” Oka shook her head. “I mean, please, it’s just. This Ko thing, there’s just…a lot…”

“I think Kalei was trying to help, but…” I said.

“But if it gets me all messed up it doesn’t help much!” Oka said, her voice frantic and shaky. “I don’t feel good, I think I just need to walk this off. Is it alright if I just walk this off? I need to move, I think.”

With the way she was heaving, if she did leave, I worried she’d hyperventilate and pass out somewhere. She’d upgraded from foggy to looking like anxiety was about to physically consume her.

“Can’t you just stay a bit longer?” I asked. “I’m right here with you.”

“I know, I know you are and I’m so happy about that, but I really don’t feel good and I don’t want you to see me throw up or something?”

“It’s OK, just breathe,” I said.

“I’m trying, I’m trying,” Oka said, taking a ragged breath. This reminded me of the time I had a big panic attack in class and Oka ran after me. That led to us falling into the void and having to watch my memory trial of my time with Jeans, so I hope we could stabilize before something like that happened.

“I’m just gonna…” Kalei said, stepping backwards a bit. She didn’t leave, though. She just stood in the shadows like she was pretending she’d turned invisible.

I held Oka’s shoulders, just trying to give her whatever support I could.

“I’m here for you, always,” I said. “I’ve never felt like that for Lillia, it was just—"

“IknowIknowIknowIknowIknowIknowIknowIknow!” Oka yelled, gripping her head. I moved back in shock.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…let’s just talk this out, please?” I asked, trying to sound soothing.

“It’s not just Ko, it’s that Kalei got Lillia’s hopes up about Naomi, and this is why Ko was going after Lillia, and she maybe was going to go after you too, and she did say all that crap about you, this one stupid thing caused this big stupid snowball! And big stupid snowballs turn into big stupid clusters and if that happens, we’re going to be caught up in it!”

“C-clusters?” I asked, not entirely following.

“Zeta,” Oka snapped. “Just LISTEN to me for once!”

We both froze. We’d had ‘tired of our roommate’ fights sometimes, but nothing like this. I’d heard Oka shout, but not at me like that.

“I’m sorry,” Oka said, her eyes wild and her breathing heavy. “I did a Jeans. I just did a Jeans to you. You listen all the time, why did I say that?”

“No, no it’s OK, you didn’t, you didn’t do anything like Jeans. Don’t worry about me—”

“I always worry about you because I always think about you!” Oka said. “I can’t stop worrying about you, especially after 09, and your parents, and…I worry about us! I worry about what we know about each other, and what we don't, and I can’t stop thinking about how everything can just! In an instant! Like two people sitting across from each other, and…”

I couldn’t follow what she was trying to say, but I didn’t like hearing any of it.

“I…have to just go walk for a bit. I’m sorry.”

“Oka, just stay here.” I said, my voice weak and my eyes blurry with tears.

“I…just gotta…” Oka started before walked away. My legs wouldn’t move after her.