“A Real Jimi Lariat Moment” (29.6)
Dr. Diast took the book from me. I wasn’t sure if she should hold it after it was her fault for wrecking it, but I also didn’t want to have it in my hands anymore.
“This is a real Jimi Lariat moment Diast, not gonna lie.” Kalei said.
“It is so not!” Diast said. “This is nothing like that!”
“A real whomst what moment?” Oka asked.
“Jimi Lariat, main character of the show Detective Lariat—” Lillia explained, blocking a hup-kill-shot attempt by Oka. Even a stressful situation like the one we were in didn’t stop them from their game. “Points denied. In the show, he punches a child in the face for practically no reason and it’s not brought up by anyone afterwards.”
“That’s not a real thing.” Oka said. “That has to be an urban legend or something.”
“Look it up,” Kalei said.
Oka got out her phone as I got a bit more baffled at our general inaction.
“It has a EntertainTropes page…” Oka said. She read the article out loud. “While Detective Lariat was generally a normal procedural crime series, the show featured a bizarre episode in which the title character, Detective Jimi Lariat, is having difficulty getting information from a child. Out of nowhere, the normally heroic Detective punches the kid in the face, the immediate injuries of which are shown with graphic violence. The scene is not mentioned again, and for years since the debate has raged on whether the scene was supposed to reveal a horrific side to the titular character, or if it was supposed to be a darkly comedic moment of violent absurdity. The writers, producers, directors, and even the actors on the episode have refused to comment, fanning the flames of debate.” Oka sighed. “I just, what? Wait, here’s the video…”
“This pen thing is much less than punching a child in the face.” Diast said as Oka waited for the video to load.
Sure enough, the clip showed the scene was real. The hard-boiled detective really just decked a child in the face for no reason. Kalei started laughing right away as Oka gasped.
“I can’t help it, every time I see it,” Kalei said, wiping some laugh-tears from her eyes. “The punch just comes out of nowhere! Wham! Kid goes down! Just the video of it is hilarious out of context.”
“They aired that on TV? That was allowed?” Oka asked.
“You watch way worse stuff on a daily basis.” Kalei said.
“But…he punches a kid! What the heck?” Oka said.
“We’re wasting too much time,” I said. “We gotta fix this before Stella gets back.”
“Oh, sorry Zeta.” Oka said.
“So what do we do?” Lillia asked.
“I say Diast takes the heat.” Kalei said.
“It was just a simple prank of a troubled teen.” Diast said. “You’d understand that, right?”
“I’m not troubled, I’m badass.” Kalei said.
“That sounded a lot cooler in your head, didn’t it?” Oka asked.
“I’m physically cringing, Kalei.” Lillia said.
“Shut up.” Kalei said.
“Just like me when I was your age.” Diast said. “Alright, here’s the plan.”
Diast concentrated and started generating something in her palms.
“Can you control glass?” I asked. “Like make glass to fix the glass that got busted? That glass right there?” I pointed to the spot where the four pens broke the glass. “That glass?”
“No, but…I can make some transparent aluminum,” Diast said. The energy in her hands turned into a small, clear rectangle. She pressed it against the four holes, and with some melding it looked good as new. “It won’t stay there too long, but it’ll hold long enough for us to fix this.”
“So then what?” I asked. “The book is still very stabbed and inky. Stella said the books in this one are all super rare!”
“So we’re gonna go get another copy,” Diast said. “I know a really old bookstore that probably, hopefully will have it.”
“Probably hopefully? Not one hundred percent? What if it’s not there?” I asked.
“Then we’ll go to another,” Diast said. “We’re only gonna have a brief window once Stella’s done with her break, so here’s the deal. I’m going to go get my car warmed up. You guys act as normal as possible when you hand the baton back to her, and whoever wants to come with and help me look can meet me at the faculty parking lot.”
“You know, we could just bail now and let you fix the rest of this, Diast.” Kalei said.
“No!” I said. “I mean—I guess you guys could not go, but I have to fix this. I’m coming with.”
“I am too, obviously.” Oka said.
“Despite Zeta’s egregious use of the sentence starter ‘I mean,’ I’m joining as well.” Lillia said.
“Huh? What’s wrong with saying I mean?” I asked.
“Lillia despises it as a sentence starter.” Oka explained. She did a quick “Hup! Kill shot!” in my honor to Lillia as Diast squinted at the fake attack before ordering us back downstairs to finish working on the remaining old pens. She promised us none of the others were charmed, but I still was incredibly cautious setting each empty pen down versus throwing them out in a bin.