Rise of a Monster

Sean skimmed over the list of ingredients the omnomicon had written down for Saren as if he could read any of it before handing the parchment over to the former paladin.

"Is he sure he can get everything?" Sean asked Gel. "All the shops are closed this late and there has to be half a hundred things on that list."

"I can get them." Saren promised after Gel relayed their concerns. "A merchant whose boy you rescued from the ants lives not far from here. He will not deny us, no matter the hour."

"Do you need any money?" Gel asked, though even Sean could sense the slime's hesitance to part with their coin.

"Money is not a concern." Saren said, shaking his head. "I will be there with what you require."

"Good." Then, between the two of them, Gel added. "I wish money wasn't a concern for us. Can you imagine? We could buy out entire stalls! Maybe we should ask Feathers to put on a victory feast for us after. Somewhere high class where even the waiters have fancy socks."

"What is it with you and socks?"

"Meet me outside the north wall of Gold Spire by the middle grate when Bas is at its highest point." Saren continued, unwittingly interrupting the pair's internal back and forth as the owlen shrugged. "It may be for nothing, but with the soft glow of the death moon watching over our assault it is possible you may find… unexpected benefits."

"He's not going to quantify that, is he?" Sean asked as Saren turned to leave.

"Does he have to? You're a death-adin, Bas is the death-a-moon… how could it not be a good thing to have it up there watching us?" Gel sounded genuinely curious, before the slime's attention shifted the second Saren left the shop. "Besides, we have more important things to discuss, like how many of those former friends of his we can eat before it's meeting time."

"We're not eating them Gel, you know that." Sean reminded his friend as he headed down the shop's stairs towards its sewer entrance. "We need something to feed it, and they took all of our other food."

"I'm going to make all of them food." Gel grumbled, still not wholly on board with this part of their three-part plan. Then the slime brightened. "Maybe it won't eat all of them!"

Sean didn't respond to his friend's optimism, he simply hopped down next to the grate they had – as of yet – been completely unable to open.

"That reminds me, did you figure out how to open this while I wasn't looking?" Gel asked, even more curious than before.

"Nope." Sean said, activating their meat locket and tossing the first paladin corpse out beside the grate. Below ground, the steady heartbeat he had been feeling began to beat faster.

"Wait, so… how are we going to–"

"We are not going to do anything." Sean said, pushing the body atop the grate and inspecting his work. When nothing happened save the steady drip of ichor onto the invisible barrier, he nodded to himself and tossed out another one. Then another. Below them, the pulsing beat continued to quicken. "It is."

"I'm confused." Gel said, extending a slow whip over to collect some of the blood that was now dripping away from the grate. "We already tried to pound our way in, what's covering it with all of my precious food going to do? Taunt it with food it can't have? You know how mad that makes me, so this thing will probably just– oh."

"Yup." Sean tossed out another body, then backed down the sewer tunnel until he felt reasonably confident he was out of the smash zone. Shouldn't be long now–

The stonework of the tunnel shuddered as something massive and furious slammed into the sewer grate from below. Sean could feel pure, unrestrained anger coming from its wildly beating heart. There was also a touch of panic, which made sense.

I wouldn't want to be stuck in a hole that long, either. Cultivar probably never let it out, and I assume it hasn't fed since he died.

As the slamming thuds began coming faster and faster, distending stone and bending metal, Sean tossed the final corpse he planned to use right at their feet. He had to bat away one of Gel's crimson whips as he did, but thankfully they didn't have long to wait.

With a haunting howl that chilled the very walls, the Cadeijo burst through the grate into the sewer. The corpse-pile he had made was sent flying along with the busted iron and stonework around the newly created hole, and Sean almost couldn't believe his orbs as he saw the thing for the first time.

A massive, shadowy canine-like beast with angry red eyes snarled around a mouthful of arm it had ripped from one of the bodies. It was easily large enough to fill the entire sewer, though once it saw him it began to shrink to a more approachable size. The cadeijo's eyes immediately shifted from bright red to a cool, calm blue as he watched, and its snarling was soon replaced with happy chewing sounds. In moments, it looked as relaxed as could be, despite its surroundings.

In fact, if it weren't for the shadows dancing about its form, the cloven hooves at the end of its legs, and the half-broken silver chains dragging from the rough circle they formed around its neck, it might have looked like some family's favorite dog.

"Well, that's… alright then."

"I love him!" Gel enthused. "Say, now that he's getting smaller, how about we take some of that food back?"

"Absolutely not."

Sean pushed the corpse at his feet over until it was within easy range, then stepped back a bit and indicated it with his hand. The Cadeijo reached over, sniffed it, took an excited bite, and then nuzzled its head against Sean's still-open black hand.

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"That… went better than I was expecting it to." Sean deadpanned, petting their new pooch as it ate. He could literally feel its heartbeat calm down as he did. "Think you can ask it to eat some live paladins for us?"

"I think it is the most inefficient eater I have ever seen, and convenient ally or not if you think I'm going to just sit around and let it eat our next meals after you already gave it our last ones then you have seriously misunderstood our relationship."

"Look at all that stone it just broke through, this little guy is perfect!" Sean gave the cadeijo some clearly well-deserved head rubs with his knuckles. "We just need to point him at Gold Spire, then you and I can clean up the rest and get our gear back. And before you ask, by clean up I do mean eat, yes."

"You know I can only speak to things I've eaten enough of to understand their language, right?" Gel asked skeptically. "Unless it can talk like the enlightened do, I'm not sure what you want from me. What was your plan for that when we came down here, anyway?"

"I figured it was hungry." Sean shrugged. "I was just going to throw food at it until it realized we were on the same side, then lead it to Gold Spire corpse-crumb-style, throw a limb over to their side of the wall, and see what happened."

There was a long moment of silence as the two watched the Cadeijo tear into its meal with cheerful glee, showing no signs of stopping despite having consumed two entire arms.

"Yeah, that'll probably work." Gel admitted. "A trail of corpses would certainly lure me somewhere if someone, not naming any names here, wanted to try that for whatever reason."

"I'm not using bodies to get you to go places, Gel." Sean said, standing up and climbing back into the shop to prepare part two of their plan. The cadeijo was taking its time eating and seemed content. They would come back for it soon. "You already eat everything we find."

"Not everything, but I take your point. Also, if the cadeijo decides to stick around after this it needs to share that guy's foot before we go. Friends share feet, Sean. I don't make the rules."

"Is that why we're friends? Because you ate my feet?"

"It's at least part of the reason. I always trust people more after I eat them."

—--------------------

Roughly two hours later, just as Bas had reached its zenith in the sky, they were ready. Sean's frame made metallic tinkling sounds when he walked due to the preparations he had made back at the shop and Gel had just finished consuming the last of their available corpses for mana. The geladin felt Saren's heartbeat position itself above them and immediately clambered out of the sewers, not bothering to be quiet about it.

Pale moonlight washed over completely abandoned streets with a soft brush. Even the high brickwork of Gold Spire's ostentatious wall felt dull. Opposite the wall was a park of sorts, sand pits and bricklaid sculptures dotting walkways in artful designs.

No homes means no people. Makes sense why Saren wanted us to start here. Sean looked up at the enormous tower not far from the wall that might have stretched into the clouds on a less clear night. Then again, maybe it's just coincidence.

"Did you get everything?" Gel asked Saren, who nodded and threw back the tarp covering the pair of carts the owlen appeared to have pulled over by himself.

Sean let out a mental whistle in appreciation as Gel ooh'd and ahhh'd over the assortment of ingredients. There were piles of meat, rare vegetables in tightly wrapped bundles, bread loaves of various colors, and jars on jars of liquid all balanced next to one giant cauldron per cart. Below each, the owlen had even managed to affix and light a small cookfire in the style Sean had seen on several roasting carts in the market.

"Excellent work, appetizer." The omnomicon said from its place at Sean's hip, its monstrous eye darting about its cover to inspect the goods. "Heated cauldrons means we can begin immediately. Now remember, the recipe is on page seven hundred and eighty-one for the left cart and page nine hundred sixty-three for the right. I will sort myself as needed, but I need you to–"

The cursed cookbook continued giving Sean instructions as Saren mouthed the word 'appetizer' with a confused expression, before seemingly deciding it wasn't worth arguing over. Instead, the former paladin asked another question. One that had likely been on his mind for the last few hours.

"What exactly are you making, Gel?"

"Shinlack's Worm and Snake Justice Jambalaya, the hearty variation of course." The omnomicon answered for them. "Paired with Maudlin's Medley Rendition of Rage, her sizzling recipe not the smoldering one. That one barely deserved being detailed at all."

"I still want to try that one later." Gel responded immediately. "The smoldering and sizzling versions. For science and sensation!"

Saren's feathered brow furled somewhat. "Are you not eating both of them? I thought we were preparing food to fortify you before the battle."

"We are." Gel's attention was clearly not on the conversation as Sean moved quickly to prepare two meals at once, making deft work of the knives and other instruments Saren had brought with him.

"Then is the other… for me?" The owlen asked after several minutes had passed, eyeing the considerable size of the cauldrons with more than a little wariness. "I am not certain I can consume such an amount and move, much less fight, afterwards."

"No, no." Gel said, waving a whip around dismissively before pointing it back down the grate. The slime's voice gained an edge of irritation. "The other one is for her."

"... her?"

"Do you mind if we focus here? You'll see what I mean once he's done."

"... he?" Saren looked speculatively at the omnomicon for a moment, before apparently deciding to return to what his original role was supposed to be during this period: lookout.

The next half hour blurred by for Sean. He could feel himself picking up the omnomicon's instructions faster and faster, no longer having to ask for clarification on the names of meats, vegetables, and even fruits he had never known existed only weeks before. It felt like he was gaining an instinctual understanding of how many of these ingredients were meant to be worked with each new recipe, and mixing two magical meals at once without missing any steps all but required him to split mind into separate halves.

When it was done, the slime in his chest hissed in pain as the omnomicon took its due for the recipes. Even Gel agreed the results were worth it, however. On his left, the first cauldron bubbled with a black, ichor-like liquid whose surface was distended with charred bits and chunks of snake meat. Meanwhile the second cauldron on his right bore a liquid that shone bright red, as if a fire was burning inside its ever-bubbling surface despite the flames beneath it having been quenched several minutes past.

A prompt appeared, earning Sean additional progress towards his Magichef and Saucerer titles. The thought brought joy to his long-missing heart, almost as much as the sight of Gel diving into the justice jambalaya cauldron like an eager child. In almost no time at all, the pot had been sucked dry and a new prompt appeared.

You have consumed "Shinlack's Justice Jambalaya". You have gained resistance to light mana-based attacks, abilities, and effects for the next twelve hours.

That will definitely come in handy. Sean thought, as every bone on his body and all of Gel's liquid gained a dark, oily sheen to reflect the meal's benefit. The heaps of forked tongues in that recipe are definitely doing most of the work, which makes sense I guess, given the name.

"Where is the second pot going?" Saren asked, poised next to it as if the owlen expected to have to help them carry it somewhere.

"Right here." Gel said, as Sean tipped the cauldron away from Saren and poured all of its incandescent contents directly into the sewer.

Saren's mouth dropped open in shock. He stared at them for a moment, before the owlen's sharp senses picked up the lapping sounds the cadeijo was making down below. Moments later, a nightmarish howl echoed up from the opening in the street and the owlen's eyes went wide.

Sean's disguised mouth grinned as he took the bloody arm he had brought with them and held it over the sewer entrance, waggled it, and then chucked it as far as he could over Gold Spire's brick wall.

A black blur shot through the opening and into the air before alighting next to Sean with deceptive grace. Saren swore an oath and staggered back, reaching for his weapon instinctively, but the geladin held a hand up for peace and so the owlen stayed his blade.

As the cadeijo sniffed the air, Sean simply kneeled down next to it and pointed in the direction of the ostentatious tower. The cadeijo's calm blue eyes shifted to a blazing red, and it snarled angrily as its size began to rapidly increase. Sean stepped back, motioning for Saren to do the same, and the pair of them watched as the now cart-and-a-half-sized 'dog' began to emit shadowy wisps of energy.

Then, with no warning at all, it leapt through the wall. Whatever protections the paladins might have woven into the construction of their perimeter did nothing to stop it. Bricks exploded into the inner courtyard as the cadeijo bounded off in search of its rightful meal.

Dropping his disguise and laying the crimson axe Gel had just summoned him across his shoulders as if he didn't have a care in the world, Sean followed the nightmarish dog-beast with Saren stepping in smartly behind. All the while the slime's cackling, maniacal laughter reverberated off of his bones through the night.

"Hey, do you think Gold Spire just got a prompt saying they have been invaded?" Gel asked eagerly, as confused shouting came from the tower's first few floors ahead of them. "Like the one we got for the shop, I mean."

"Oh, I hope so." Sean said, gripping his axe so tightly his dense bones cracked. "In fact, just in case they haven't, let's go make sure they know."