Return of the Runebound Professor

“Help!” James screamed, his legs pumping as hard as they could as a flaming Beakfoot charged after him, its eyes wide in pain and anger. Despite his situation, James could sympathize with the monster.

After all, he was pretty sure he would have been in a similar situation. Typically, Beakfoots didn’t tend to enjoy being on fire. They didn’t have any Runic magic that let them do that, at least as far as James was aware.

No, this particular Beakfoot was on fire because Revin had set it on fire – along with just about everything else in the clearing.

“Revin! Do something!”

James bounded over a flaming log, stumbling and nearly falling flat on his face as he landed. Luckily, he managed to keep his feet out from under him. The Beakfoot simply charged through the log, shattering it with a powerful foot as it continued to chase him, screeching in pain.

“Do something other than run!” Revin yelled from the safety of a tree far above the clearing, where he’d perched himself upon a branch and stood, one hand holding onto the branch while he leaned out, his scythe braced against his side.

“Do something other than pretend you look cool,” James screamed back. A snake – also on fire – snapped at him as he stepped on its tail. James flicked a blade of wind into the monster’s head, killing it before the blow could connect, then threw himself to the side. His Runes warmed comfortingly as energy flowed into them, but James didn’t have the time to appreciate the sensation.

The Beakfoot stampeded past him and charged into a tree with a thundering crash. The tree pitched forward, forcing James to throw himself out of the way once more, and put the poor Beakfoot out of its misery. He got another nice rush of energy from the kill, but it didn’t make the rest of the monsters surrounding him any less furious.

James scrambled upright, panting heavily as his eyes darted around the flames rising up around him. The screams of monsters rose up into the air all around him, joining the crackling of the flame as it consumed the forest.

The moment of respite was shattered as an Arcfist practically flew into the clearing. The huge, gorilla-esque monster reared back, beatings its fists against its massive chest as arcs of electricity leapt off it, scoring the ground and sizzling as they burned through a nearby fallen tree.

It let out a furious roar, its eyes locking onto James.

“Shit,” James muttered. He spun, sprinting toward Revin’s tree as fast as his legs could carry him. The air at the back of his neck crackled as it charged, and James launched himself into the air with a blast of wind. A bolt of lightning screamed past him, turning the dirt to glass beneath his feet.

James hit the ground with a grunt, not even daring to look over his shoulder. He didn’t need to. The thump of its massive feet behind him was all he needed to hear.

“What are you doing?” Revin called down. “Fight the monster! This is training! What are you doing, learning how to run like a little baby?”

“Babies don’t run!” James screamed back, diving behind the tree. The Arcfist had no such requirements. It crashed right through the tree in its mad rage. James set off a large blast of wind, launching himself to the side to avoid another bolt of lightning, then grabbed onto the light surrounding him and twisted.

James vanished as he went invisible – or rather, as the light bent around him. He didn’t stop moving, though. He silently crept to the side, pausing as the tree that Revin had been sitting on smashed to the ground with a loud crash.

The Arcfist beat its chest, its furious eyes sweeping the clearing in search of where James had gone. When it found nothing, it slammed its fists into the ground. A shower of lightning bolts rained off the monster, slamming into the dirt where James had been standing just a few moments before.

His teeth chattered from the force of the magic landing around him, and all the hairs on his body stood on end. Even though he’d read about Arcfists before, he’d never had the misfortune to have to train against one.

James swept the clearing with his eyes, trying to figure out what had happened to Revin. There was no doubt in his mind that his professor was probably posing somewhere –

There.

Revin stood upon another tree, silhouetted against the moon with his scythe over his shoulder. James made his way over to the tree and dropped his cloak, killing a snake with a blast of energy before it even noticed his presence.

It probably wouldn’t have spotted him anyway, as this snake was, just like the last one, also on fire and somewhat preoccupied.

The Arcfist, on the other hand, spotted James instantly. It didn’t waste an instant before sending a massive bolt of lightning streaking his way. James dropped to the ground, and his clothes crackled as the bolt just barely missed him.

It struck the tree with a crack, sending it pitching forward once more. The Arcfist whipped a huge hand, shattering the tree before it could fall on it. Once again, there was no sign of Revin.

James sent a blade of wind for the Arcfist’s neck, then obscured himself with light once more. The spell cut into the monster’s neck, but it failed to cause any serious damage and just left a superficial wound that only served to infuriate the huge monster even further.

Blood pounded in James’ ears. His heart raced and sweat trickled down his back and forehead. There were so many monsters. They were everywhere. Even if the monsters had been weaker, this would have been a difficult fight.

But, with opponents like the Arcfist, he was completely outclassed. James bit his lip so hard that it bled. Eventually, the Arcfist would get a lucky blow. He did have a Shield, but it wouldn’t stand up long against a monster of this strength.

I can’t channel my Light and Wind magic at the exact same time. If I drop the Light, the monsters will be able to see me. If I don’t, I can’t fight back. Maybe I should just wait this out until –

“What’s taking you so long?” Revin’s voice called from above. “You better not even be considering waiting until the sun rises and the monsters get bored. That’s completely lame – not to mention you don’t nearly have enough Runic energy to do that. You’ll just run out of magic and get squished. That would also be quite lame. The only cool solution here is to win.”

I hate you.

James drew a few slow breaths to gather his nerves, then searched around the clearing for anything that could turn things in his favor. A Beakfoot charged past him, completely engulfed in fire. James stared at the monster as it tripped over a log and skidded to a stop before the Arcfist, which crushed it underfoot.

How in the Damned Plains did Revin even manage to cause this? There’s only so much chaos one person should be able to cause. This is beyond mortal capabilities. He’s got to have a Rune that lets him do this.

What would that even be called? The Rune of Complete and Utter Incompetence? Perhaps the Rune of Weaponized Idiocy?

“I can feel you thinking insults at me,” Revin called. “Stop that! You are not allowed to think insults in my direction.”

James shuddered. Revin was terrifying beyond words. He could never tell if the man was completely deranged or genuinely dangerous. Tonight was fairly impressive by Revin’s standards, though. Most times – 

Revin let out a yelp as his foot slipped and he pitched out of the tree. His black-robed form fluttered through the air as he hurtled down like a falling star, crashing straight into the Arcfist’s back.

The monster’s roar was silenced as, in the midst of Revin’s desperate thrashing to untangle himself from the monster, his scythe carved across its neck, killing it instantly.

“Damn it!” Revin snapped, pushing away from the dead monster. A snake jumped out of the shadows to bite at him and his scythe hooked around, impaling it through the head. Revin pointed at James – who was still invisible – and irritably snapped his fingers. “Get over here already! You’re making me do all the work, and I’m not the one that’s meant to be training here.”

James let his functional invisibility drop and jogged up to join Revin. All around him, burning monsters staggered and screamed in pain and anger. He almost felt sorry for them.

Actually, I do feel sorry for them. There’s something seriously wrong here.

“Get that look off your face,” Revin said, leaning on his scythe. “You should be training.”

“I was training. I’ve been running away for over three hours.”

“Three hours you could have been killing monsters.”

“Survival training is about not getting killed! I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

Revin snorted and crossed his arms irritably. Behind them, a tree creaked as the fire overtook its base. It pitched to the side and crashed to the ground with a loud bang. Revin didn’t even flinch.

“In the most boring and uninteresting way possible, yes. But think about how much stronger you’d be if you hadn’t been running.”

“Dead. The word you’re looking for is that I would be dead,” James said. “Is this how you trained when you were my age?”

“No. When I was your age, I sought out the most powerful monsters I could find and challenged them to single combat. I lost many times, but eventually I grew strong enough to survive and best them.”

James groaned. “You’re so full of it. What, did the monsters just let you leave after you lost to them? Your story is full of holes and you didn’t even give me the long version this time. Can’t you at least try to pretend you aren’t lying?”

Revin turned away from James and let out a huff. “You’ll learn one day. I have no need to lie to exaggerate my impressive feats. I am a very capable man.”

“Right.” James looked around the burning clearing. It was finally starting to quiet down, though it was still a complete scene of chaos. “Capable. That’s the word I’d use.”

“You know, snark isn’t really cool unless I’m the one doing it,” Revin decided. “It takes a certain style, and you don’t have it. Maybe one day. Keep practicing.”

“Maybe you could just focus on teaching me instead of trying to get me killed?” James pleaded.

“Hm. I’ll think about it.”

James’ eyes widened. That was the first time that Revin had ever actually agreed to –

“I’ve thought about it,” Revin said. “No. That’s boring.”

James sighed. “Of course. You know, you stiffed me out of breakfast even though I won our challenge. The least you could do is let me get a single night of rest properly.”

Revin’s eyes lit up. A Beakfoot that had managed to survive all the carnage of the clearing stepped out from behind a smoldering log, its eyes latching on to James. Revin’s scythe sailed through the air, embedding itself in the monster’s head and killing it instantly.

“If that was the case, you should have just told me immediately,” Revin said cheerfully, walking over his scythe and pulling it out of the monster’s head. “Come on, then. Let’s go find somewhere nice to camp out.”

James jogged to keep up with Revin. “Did… you do all of this just to get me to agree to let you off the hook for paying for my breakfast?”

“What You seriously think I’d go that far?” Revin looked down at James, hurt and betrayal in his expression.

“Yes.”

“Ah. Well, you’re damn right,” Revin said with a cackle. His scythe arced out, carving a snake in two as it bit at him from the branches of a tree.

James shuddered again. There was something seriously wrong with his professor.