Return Of The Cosmic God

As soon as Joseph and Abdul left, I went straight to my room without saying a word to Maki and slammed the door shut behind me. The sound echoed throughout the house….

I stumbled to the bed and collapsed onto it. I buried my face in the pillow...

Every part of my body from the inside out ached with unbearable pain…. My heart…My brain…My soul everything…. Rina's death was a raw wound, bleeding endlessly inside me. Her absence was a black hole that sucked every bit of light and meaning from my world…

I shut my eyes, but the images wouldn't stop… the memory of her smile… the sound of her laugh… the way she looked at me beneath the moonlight... And finally, the letter... the letter that said she wanted me to be happy... How could I?!... How could I ever be happy without her?

I curled into myself, feeling like I was sinking deeper into the darkness with every passing second. The room felt too quiet… too empty... I wanted to scream with all my heart… but no sound was coming out of my mouth… It felt like I even forgot how to speak…

I don't know how much time had passed since I had come to this room and shut myself. Suddenly I heard a soft knock on my door…

"Shin?" Maki's voice was filled with hesitation. Her voice was barely audible through the thick wooden door…

I didn't answer or I couldn't…

There was a pause and then the door creaked open… Maki stepped inside, her bare feet making soft padding sounds on the floor. She closed the door behind her and sat on the edge of the bed, her presence was a warm contrast to the cold emptiness that was surrounding me… threatening me to consume me entirely….

"Shin..." she whispered, reaching out her right hand to touch my shoulder. "Please don't shut me out…"

I turned my head a bit, just enough to see her face in the dim light. Her eyes were full of worry. But there was also something else... something deeper…

"You cannot keep doing this to yourself," she whispered. "I know that you're in pain… you're hurting… I know it feels like you will never get past this. But you have to try, Shin… Please... for me."

Her words were soft, but her words only carried the weight of her own pain... Maki had lost her parents too... She also knew what it felt like to drown in grief. And now, she was trying to pull me back from the same abyss…

I didn't know what came over me, whether it was the weight of my grief or the warmth of Maki's presence… but in that moment, something shifted between us…

Maki leaned closer to me; her breath warm against my skin. Her dark eyes searched mine, and for the first time, I saw the raw vulnerability she had been hiding.

"I hate seeing you like this," she whispered, her voice breaking apart… "I don't want to lose you too…"

Before I could respond, she pressed her lips on mine…

The kiss was soft, it was hesitant at first as if she wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do or not... But the moment our lips touched, something ignited between us…... an unspoken understanding, a desperate need for connection…

Maki's soft and warm lips quivered against mine. Her eyes were a bit teary from the sadness she had held onto herself for so long. There was desperation in the way she kissed me. it felt like she was holding onto something fragile… something that could break easily…. Maybe I was doing the same thing. I kissed her back. tentatively at first… I wasn't sure where this moment would lead us to….

Her hands tangled in my hair, pulling me closer, and in that one moment, it felt like the world around me felt like it ceased to exist. There was no grief… no regret…. It was just us, two broken souls, trying to find some comfort in each other presence…

When we finally broke apart, our breaths mingled. Maki rested her forehead against mine, her dark eyes shimmering with a mixture of fear… longing…. and something else… some unspoken feelings.

"I can't lose you too… Shin!!!" she whispered; her voice barely audible. "Please… I need you…"

Her words hit me harder than I expected. There was a vulnerability in her voice… and a kind of desperate honesty that mirrored the pain of my own heart. I reached up my right hand, brushing some tears from her cheek….

"You won't lose me…" I whispered. But I was unsure of my words. My mind raced with thought, "Will I even be able to keep my own words…". But at that moment, I wanted to believe it. For her. For me.

Maki's hand danced around my chest and she suddenly started unbuttoning my shirt. She looked at my eyes to check for any sign of hesitation….

"This is my first time…" she said quietly. Her cheeks turned red with shyness. "I want it to be with you..."

Her words were heavy. I was almost frozen after hearing her words. I was caught between the past and the present… between the memory of Rina and the reality of Maki, who was here right now…...

"Are you sure?" I whispered, my heart pounding in my chest.

She nodded with a small, almost shy smile curving her lips, "I've waited a long time for this…"

I leaned in. I kissed her forehead then her nose, then I reached out for her lips. The kiss deepened. It was slow and tender at first… But it grew more intense with each passing second….

Her hands roamed my back, clinging to me tightly as if she was afraid, I might disappear if she let go of me...

My own hands began to explore her entire body…. her hands… her thighs… her waist… I slipped her hoodie off her shoulders, revealing the curves of her body. She shivered slightly under my touch, her breath hitching as I traced gentle patterns along her skin.

"You're beautiful," I murmured. The words escaped me without thought….

Maki's blush deepened, but she didn't pull away. Instead, she leaned into me and kissed me once more. Her kisses were filled with an intoxicating mix of vulnerability and need… It was like every barrier between us had crumbled into pieces…every fear…. Every doubt had crumbled…

I pulled her close. I could feel the warmth of her skin against me. I could feel the rhythm of her heartbeat beneath my fingertips…

Slowly, I unhooked her bra… I took every step slowly, thinking she might stop me…. But she didn't.

Instead, she whispered, "I trust you..."

I could feel all my pain fading away at her words. I kissed her again, this time slower, savoring the feel of her. The way she deepened the kiss felt like she had been waiting for this moment for a long, long time…

We moved together; our bodies entwined in the dim light of the room. Every touch, every kiss, was a silent promise… a promise to heal, to stay. The weight of our shared grief hung in the air. But it no longer felt suffocating… Instead, we dived into the moment savoring the taste of each other…

Maki's breath hitched as our movements grew more urgent, and she whispered my name. Her voice was filled with emotion, "Shin…"

I held her close… my forehead resting against hers as we moved in perfect rhythm. At that moment, it wasn't about forgetting… it was about finding comfort in each other….

As we continued, Maki suddenly shifted positions. Now she was on top of me. Her eyes were locked into me with a mix of determination and longing in their depths…

I could see the uncertainty in her gaze, but she pushed through it…

She suddenly leaned down and kissed me softly again…

"It's okay!!!" she murmured against my lips. "Let me do this for you..."

I could see the tension in her muscles, the way her hands trembled slightly as she guided me inside her. I felt the resistance… She looked like she was in pain and it made my heart ache. I wanted to stop… to give her time… but she shook her head

"Relax!!" I whispered. "Just relax, Maki!!..."

Her fingers dug into my shoulders, gripping me tightly as she slowly lowered herself onto me. The sensation was both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. A raw mix of pleasure and pain...

I could feel every inch of her, the way her body adjusted to accommodate me, the way her muscles tensed and then relaxed as she gradually accepted me and settled on top of me…

"Are you okay?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. I didn't want to hurt her…not in this way…

She nodded, her brow furrowing slightly as she bit her lip. "It's… it's okay," she murmured. "Just give me a minute…."

I held my breath. I stayed still, giving her the time she needed. The room was silent except for our heartbeat. I could feel the heat radiating between us, the sweat beginning to bead on our skin. The scent of her filled my senses… and it made my head spin…

She gripped my hand. As our fingers mingled with each other she whispered, "No, Shin... Don't stop me. I need you!!!...."

Her words were fierce. It was filled with desperation. Slowly, she began to move, her hips swaying with a grace that belied her inexperience. I watched her, mesmerized by the sight of her taking control, her body moving with a determination that left me breathless….

"Maki…" My voice was hoarse. I reached up, cupping her face in my hands, drawing her closer for a kiss that was both tender and fervent….

She gasped into the kiss, her movements growing bolder with each passing moment. I could feel the tension in her body… I could see it in her face, she was in pain… she was fighting with discomfort. But she pushed herself to make this connection real…

"Shin…" she gasped, her voice broken by the effort, the intensity of what we were doing. "Forget about Rina… Just for now… Just focus on me…"

Her plea pierced through the grief that clung to me. I nodded, unable to speak. My throat tight with unshed tears…

"Okay…" I replied, my voice thick with emotion. "Okay, Maki… I'm here… I'm with you…"

Maki's movements became more fluid, her expressions shifting from pain to pleasure, her eyes closing briefly as she found her rhythm. I could feel the blood mixing with our combined arousal….

"You're doing great…" I whispered her name, trying to offer her reassurance. But she barely seemed to hear me. Her focus was entirely on what we were doing…

Her eyes fluttered open, locked onto mine and she smiled a bit… a small smile that lit up her face. "I love you, Shin. And I'm not going anywhere…."

Our bodies moved in perfect harmony. Maki's nails dug into my back, leaving marks of fire in their wake, and I arched up, meeting her thrust for thrust, driven by a need that went beyond words, beyond thought…

The sensations were overwhelming—her tightness around me, the friction of our skin rubbing together, the way she clenched and released around me….

"Shin… I… I'm close…" Maki panted, her voice trembling as she reached a peak, I could feel the tension building in her body. She tensed her muscles. She tightened her grip on me…

"Let go…" I urged her, my own need rising alongside hers. "Just let go, Maki…"

And then, with a shudder that tore through her entire body, she did. Her walls clenched around me, pulsing with the force of her release, and I could feel the wetness of her arousal coating us both, slick and warm against my skin. It pushed me over the edge, and I spilled inside her, my body convulsing with the force of my orgasm… For a moment my mind went blank…

We collapsed together onto the bed, our bodies intertwined, our breaths mingling. Maki lay atop me. Her weight was heavy and it felt confronting, her cheek resting against my chest as she caught her breath…

I could feel the rise and fall of her chest, the steady beat of her. I felt grounded, and solid, like maybe I was starting to find my way back to myself….

"Shin…" Maki whispered, her voice barely audible, her fingers tracing lazy circles on my chest. "Did you feel good??!!"

I was unsure of how to answer her question. In some ways, yes…. But in others… I wasn't sure…

 The shadow of Rina still lingered, a ghost that I couldn't quite shake, no matter how hard I tried...

But as I looked down at Maki, and saw the way she was looking at me, the way her eyes were filled with such deep affection, such intense love, I knew that I couldn't let her down. Not now, not after everything we had just shared.

"Yeah…" I whispered. "I did…"

Maki said with a small, drowsy smile, "Good. That's good then…"

She shifted slightly, rolling off of me and snuggling into my side, her head resting on my shoulder as she curled up against me. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close, feeling the warmth of her body against mine. I could feel her soft hair against my cheek. The room was quiet…

For a long while, we lay there...

Maki's breathing slowed, becoming deeper, more even, and I could feel her slipping into sleep. She had fallen asleep in my arms.

As I looked at her and brushed my hand in her hair, a strange sense of relief washed over me…

Then I also closed my eyes….

As I drifted off to sleep. I could feel Maki's hand resting gently on my chest. Her touch was light but it felt like she was reminding me that she was there, that she wasn't going anywhere….

 And in that moment, I believed her, and I also drifted into sleep.

 TO BE CONTINUED