Reroll

When the world fades back in, we are NOT in the van… we're in the music building back at school. In the middle of a ballroom dance… and we're hugely naked.  

Ed shouts, “ladies room” in Shae, and we run, our pets in tow, our behinds and chests jiggling and bouncing for anyone who looks. I admit I don't pay too terribly much attention to what’s around me, just booking it through the gauntlet of women in formal suits and men in ballroom gowns… wait… eh, whatever; it’s college.

We meet up in the relative sanctuary of the ladies room quickly, and I take a look in the mirror… nice! I'm all human this time. Everything seems a bit smaller than I'm used too… which likely means I'm tall.  I have dark brown skin, gray hair (not mixed white and black like happens with older folks, actual gray, like I dyed it for a play), green eyes, a thin but still human scale waist, a very large but not insane caboose, smooth musculature, and some good sized bazookas.  I touch one and… milking again, but not the constant trail.  I mean, I'm a Necropolitan, so I'm clearly dead, but I can fix that with this build….

I focus for a moment, and take on the appearance of a green eyed redhead with massive melons… and the heat and empty feeling in my loins when I see those hooters in the mirror makes me think a sporty girl with almost no curves is a better idea, so I switch as I call Chocolate over so I can get my stuff… which yes, includes the Sleeves of Many Garments.

I look around at my companions; Georgette… err, Jim… Betty? Ugh. Whatever, she has heavily inflated hooters with some pop up thermometers bigger than my thumbs… and she's taller than me; she'll probably need to duck going through doors. Her light brown hair is very short, like a man's style of cut that frame her amber eyes nicely. She has a thin waist, but that backside is gigantic…she'll do fine in porn… other than that long tail that ends in a silver feathered fan… which might help in porn, I'm not sure. Which I'm thinking about because she's doing slutty pinup poses in the mirror, flexing her bulging muscles. That heat in my middle is not subsiding.

Hannah… err, Ed, rather… is covered in thin fur over his Bulging muscles, patterned in white with black splotches… reminds me of a cow.  He has a chest slightly bigger than mine, a waspish waist, large hips, a jiggling backside,and is quite the shortstack: He can't even be five feet tall. He has white hair going down to his knees, and… woah, Orange eyes? Huh. More striking, though, is the six inch boner he's popping beneath his slit while he stares at Betty.

Why is my mouth watering?

I close my eyes, look away, and cough, “While I do enjoy the view, this is not the place for indulgent behavior. Someone could come in at any time.”

Ed sighs, “Right… we need to get changed and then get dressed….”

I watch out of the corner of my eye as Ed morphs into a much more normal-looking woman with brown hair and A cups, then gets on his gear… which yes, includes Sleeves of Many Garments.  He goes with a silk suit and a black tie. Normally pretty striking, it's forgettable in this crowd.

Jim on the other hand pulls out a suit of full plate, and speaks up, “Can I get a hand here?”

I briefly close my eyes and then help her dress up - a suit of full plate can't be donned well without aid - and I HAVE to touch her bare flesh (repeatedly), as part of helping her into the armor.  Her skin is silky smooth, her chest is amazingly soft, and she moans whenever she taps her milk spouts on anything… which was me.  Repeatedly.

I don't need to breathe, but I'm panting and buting my lip when we're done.

I do have one question… “How's THAT going to blend in?”

She chuckles, speaks a funky word, and her armor turns into a VERY low cut, tight-fitting dress with a microskirt and stiletto heels.

“Glammered armor, huh?” Ed recognizes it, “I suppose it is a cheap way to get a very high Armor Class. What are you playing?”

Betty grins, “I decided to try a blaster. I'm running a Wilder//Paladin.  Which reminds me…” she pulls a shield out of the pack saddle on her companion, puts it on her left arm, and speaks a command word for her beast's armor… which then makes it look like a service animal harness.

Wish I'd thought of that one.  Glammered armor is great - it makes the armor seem to be arbitrary normal clothing and can only be defeated by True Seeing, but keeps the armor fully functional. So while she LOOKS like throwing a punch at her should work… well, you hit full plate if you try.  It's not going to do well against bullets, though: There's a reason nobody uses full plate anymore. But then, the Wilder gets a second level class feature that helps with that, so… it’s a fine iron cannon build, really.

“So where’s my van?” Betty asks after she's dressed.

I shrug, “We were doing freeway speeds.  We're not in it now, so….”

Ed pauses, “Well… I hope nobody died when it crashed.”

“Easy for you to say,” Betty complains, “You're not out your wheels.”

I sigh, “We had everything we thought would be of use with us. We've all lost our phones, IDs, computers, the keys to everywhere on campus,” that one is going to be inconvenient, “our credit cards, cash, and so on.  We're broke and zeroed.”

“So… murder hobos?” Ed tries to crack a joke.

“Nah. We haven't killed anyone yet,” I counter, “so we're just regular hobos.”

“But all adventures are murder hobos…” Betty inserts.

“Well, we did have that kingdom building campaign…” Ed objects lightly.

“And we still spent weeks on end away from home killing things,” I remind him, “Still murder hobos.”

Ed chuckles, “True enough. Still… no keys anymore, but I did get lockpicks for this build. We can get in wherever, but it'll take longer.”

“I might be able to do something about our zero status… you guys are familiar with Starfinder, right?” I smile slightly.

“Well, yes,” Betty shrugs, “But we're using Pathfinder.  What's it matter?”

“It's still a d20 compatible source,” my smile broadens to a bit of a grin.

Ed puts it together, “What did you grab?”

“Just two skills,” I think I'm grinning ear to ear now, “Computers and Engineering.”

“You plan to hack things?” Betty raises her eyebrow.

I shrug, “Everything is electronic now… yes, there’s paper copies somewhere, but they're almost never checked. ID cards can printed and mailed entirely online; my Dad hasn't renewed his driver's license in person for over a decade, and he ordered my birth certificate from electronic records when he signed me up here.”

“But how would you… modern electronic security is…” Betty seems to be having trouble phrasing her objection.

I think I get the gist, though, “Where did your armor come from? The skills should work as printed… and given that Starfinder has actual AIs running around, do you really think any computer here is better than maybe tier one or two?  I figure I can take ten and be good to go.” Four ranks, skill focus, six points of intelligence, and two from a masterwork tool give me a +15, that's a tier-three computer, taking ten.  So as long as I'm not being threatened, I'm in.

“We'll need to see how we'll that actually works,” Betty seems to be warming up to the idea, “but we'll still need somewhere to get the mail, and live until we have all the stuff we need….”

“We shouldn't be discussing that here…” Ed interrupts, “Someone’s coming.”

So nice to have a Perception monkey in the group.

“Right… let's go for a walk around campus… find a park or something…” Betty suggests.

She leads, Ed and I follow, passing a woman in a formal suit on our way.  We walk out into the night air, and Ed shivers slightly. Campus is pretty quiet - it is midnight, or thereabouts - so we're not disturbed.

Walking down “fraternity row” we pass quite a few houses in varying states of repair; most are… okay: The grass could use cutting, and there's stuff all over (we can easily tell the fraternities from the sororities by what they leave out…) and every here and there a building looks to be done up nicely.  We keep walking, lost I  thought, racking our brains about what we're going to do… until we run across a house that not only hasn't been mowed in months, but looks like it hasn't had a paint job, or even has power… we look at each other, and smile.