Chapter 37: Past and the present.
With a sharp intake of air, Hanna‘s eyes opened to reveal a ceiling made of old stone where moss had overtaken most of it. She tried to sit up but felt her entire body to be unresponsive as a numbness had taken a hold of it, only with a lot of trying and grunting did she manage to finally regain control of her body.
At that moment her headache began as she was bombarded with all things that had happened when she met her doppelgänger in that giant white space, every word every gesture and every breath she had taken, all at once. She moaned out in pain as her head suddenly felt like it weighed an entire ton.
'Just a heads up, somethings will be different when you wake up'
That’s what her doppelgänger had said just before she had vanished and Hanna had been consumed by the grip of unconsciousness, what had changed? How important was whatever changed? And how would it affect her?
The answers were immediately very apparent to Hanna.
Ever since she had left that old library she had woken up in, things have felt more intense compared to how things before did, her emotions didn’t feel like they belonged to herself and she was affected by them far to easily compared to her old self, she hadn’t been a ice queen or anything, quite the opposite actually, most people had called her emotions quite unstable back then, that her unstable emotions were the reason she had been so prone to violent reactions back then, but even she wouldn’t charge into a giant prison complex completely alone and without a proper plan like she had done here.
At the time she had tried to convince herself that everything had been fine, she succeeded didn’t she? So no need to think about it anymore right? Now however, she wonders if her existence was truly hated by the gods if she got lucky enough to actually survive that affair.
The longer she sat around the more she remembered her past actions and she became more and more ashamed of what she had done, she threw away an army of willing slaves in her pursuit of revenge, only to then get captured anyway, she had let Luisa torture and then kill that old elf, even though she was quite sure they had her fooled enough for her to become a useful asset and she had risked her life twice now just to get Adeline back from capture.
Yet despite acknowledging the idiocy of her actions and feeling the shame she deserved to feel for them, she also found that it all felt much less intense, the anger and rage she once felt for things like her being betrayed by that Necromancer were still there, but they felt dulled, she didn’t feel the overwhelming anger anymore she had felt whenever she remembered the face of that one knight that had stabbed her through the chest, she still felt angry, but she definitely didn’t feel like ripping out every person‘s throat near her.
It was similar to how she was in that white space, she knew how she would normally react but she just… didn’t, it reminded her of all the suffering she had caused and how it very clearly didn’t creat the same reaction it once did, she might have been more violent then the average person in her old life, but that didn’t mean she enjoyed actually causing pain to others, that only started after her transformation into a Dark Margenko. So obviously her sudden case of sadism was as a result of turning into a Dark Margenko no? A very clear reason for her sudden change in her behaviour.
So what has changed about her this time, to cause her emotions to suddenly be dulled like this.
A sudden scream of pain interrupted her brainstorming session.
"Keep quite already you filth, it’s what you get for abandoning your post instead of following your given orders."
"This all is just one big misunderstanding!! I was deceived I swear! If I had know that Lord Wilting would be coming I would have…" A loud bang erupted and replaced the words with a shrill shriek of pain.
"Spare us your excuses, your fate has already been sealed, after the eternity you spend down here a judge might hear you out again, but until then I don’t want to hear a word!"
There was a loud sound, akin to metal hitting something like stone, followed by a single loud and pain filled scream, before silence engulfed the corridors once more, save fo the metallic rustling that Hanna assumed to the the keys on the guards hips.
'Ahh, it seems not everything has dulled as much as other things.' Hanna unconsciously licked her lips as she tasted the fear, anger and despair coming from further down the corridor, it seems her appetite for 'bad emotions' and the pleasure she received wasn’t as pronounced as it had been before, but it was very clearly still there And very clearly still powerful, but no longer as powerful to blind her completely.
As she laid there on the cold and wet floor of stone, she began to try and analyse her situation a bit. She was quite clearly in a holding cell, likely being captured after she had passed out after that one fight with that knight, this observation was supported by the screaming she had heard just a few moments ago, but that opened up another kind of question, why was she even in a cell in the first place?
It was quite obvious that she was considered by most to be a mindless monster and even those who knew of her intelligence thought barley any different she assumed and almost everyone wanted to see her dead, so why was she in a cell? Hanna doubts that this was a temporary measure until she could be brought before a proper trial, the likelihood of her receiving a trial were probably lower then the chance to get hit by lightning three times in a row and survive to tell the tale.
Yet still she found herself inside of a jail cell rather then before the god of death, so what was the meaning of all of this?
There was loud metal ringing that continued to get closer and closer to Hanna‘s cell, until suddenly there was a click, heavy screeching, like metal being pushed across stone, her cell door seemed to have been opened. Hanna was still lying on the floor and hadn’t moved her body a single bit, as a result she couldn’t see anything other then the mossy ceiling above her. There was a loud thud next to her, before the door to her cell started to be closed once more.
"You can share your story with your new inmates I‘m sure they love to sympathise with you, after all they also just so happened to the only people in their devisions to not no of their superiors arrival."
Mocking laughter bounced through the halls as the two guards made their way back wherever they were supposed to be, once the laughter had receded far away enough, a string of curses started to be emitted from next to her, probably the person that was also just thrown in here, though something left her a bit puzzled.
From the guards words it seemed he was an army deserter, but they also claimed that the people inside of her cell were all also army deserters, which implied two things, that, one, she hadn’t been alone in this cell for one and, second, she was thought of as an army deserter?? Now that didn’t make any sense what so ever and only helped to further her confusion about her situation.
It was puzzling enough that she was in prison rather then dead, but as an army deserter? Just what on earth had happened to her while she had been talking to her doppelgänger? And more importantly, how much time had passed? The way they talked seemed to imply that a war was going on right now, before she had fought that one knight she was quite sure the kingdom had been at peace, had she been wrong? Or did a war truly start while she had been unconscious? From her point of view she had spent a few hours with her doppelgänger but of course that could be misleading, after all, a space where time flows differently from anywhere else was not something uncommon in all the stories she had read back home.
"home…" she whispered.
This was the first time since she had come to this world where she properly thought about home, how her friends were doing, had her absence been reported already? if so, had she been declared dead already? Had there been a funeral if that was the case? How much time had passed since she came here? The possibility that time flowed differently here compared to earth was possible after all. She had spent months here already, so just how much time had passed back home? If she were to return right now, would she be able to talk to her friends like nothing had happened, or would she have to explain how she was alive when they buried her already a long time ago, could she talk to them at all anymore?
Once more frustration bubbles to the surface of her mind, these thoughts, she knows she is supposed to feel sad, she knows she is supposed to feel desperation or misery, the same emotions she knows her friends must be feeling right now or did, if time was truly flowing differently here then it did on earth. The chances she would never be able to return home, never see her friends and family ever again, are astronomically high and she knows that this fact is supposed to make her feel desperate and terrified, but there is nothing.
Rather then feel the misery any normal person would feel in this situation, any of the grief that a normal person would feel when thinking of the despair their friends and family must be feeling right now, she feels none of it, rather she feels glee and pleasure as she imagines the tearful eyes of their friends standing before her lifeless body, if there was one, and she unconsciously licked at her lips when she thought of the the despair her parents must be feeling, she had been a single child and she was her mothers pride and joy.
Would the old lady die from the stress and heartache her disappearance must undoubtedly be creating in her? Would her father fall into complete despair and do nothing but grief in his room while he rots away? To mournful to care? All these thoughts run through her head and she could feel herself salivate at it all.
Then she stops, as she feels something wet against her cheeks, curiously she brings her hands towards it and feels the liquid that stained her, she gathers up a single droplet and brings it to her eyes to better see. There a top her clawed finger, a drop of liquid sat, slowly she brought it to her mouth, her breathing was fast and uneven and the nervousness was shacking her body intensely, whenever she felt the drop was close to disappear from her finger she stops completely and only starts again after a few moments to calm her.
After what felt like an eternity she brought it close to her lips, she barley parts them, just enough to stick her finger inside, she does so and closes her lips around it, before slowing pulling it back out, her lips staying sealed. The moment her finger was released from the her mouth, The droplet of liquid fell from her finger onto her tongue, it tasted like nothing she had ever tasted before and even in her wildest dreams she could not comprehend it’s taste.
She didn’t know if she liked it or not, if the taste was revolting or the most blissful sweet she had ever tasted, but that didn’t really matter, all that mattered was that she had tasted it at all, that much she knew, for she knows she could never ever taste it again.
Maybe she did know how to describe the taste after all then, it tasted like the past, of things lost and things she could never get back, yes… that was an acceptable flavour to describe it, but it wasn’t enough.
She opened her right hand a stared at the open palm, then without any hesitation, she brought her other and with enough pressure, she opened up a prick in her palm, her black blood oozing out at an inhuman pace.
She let it gather for a few moments inside her palm, before raising it towards her mouth, the action drizzled a few droplets of her blood down below and those that didn’t hit her own body began to melt away the stone floor where it hit, it was way to little to leave any permanent damage, but in the silence of the prison cell, the small sizzling emitted by her acidic blood was unbearably loud to her.
Once she reached her lips with her wounded palm she tipped her head back and the black liquid began to drizzle into her mouth.
Just like the before, the taste was overwhelming, but this time it was clear what it tasted like, there was no room for argument, it tasted like the sweetest honey she had ever tasted, syrupy in consistency and an aftertaste of rotting maggots and it was the best thing she had ever tasted. She didn’t care that it burned her mouth and throat, she just couldn’t get enough of this, she was far to selfish to consider to stop, what does it matter how her actions affect those around her, she was all that mattered and she couldn’t get enough of this taste.
The taste of the present, the here and the now.
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"My Lord, we have reasons to believe that the army will start its march in but a weeks time."
"What are their numbers?"
"My apologies my Lord, we can only estimate in that regard and the best we can fathom are between 45.000 and 60.000 soliders."
With a grim expression the king turned to his royal court Mage, who was standing to his right, the old man wore a similar expression to his own.
"If that foolish king truly thinks this is the right course of action then so be it, bring me the Stone Of Ritual, and prepare the summoners!"
While no one said anything, all the people present, had a twinkle in their eyes, the twinkle of hope.