Chapter 37 – Catharsis
Cabg originally did not think too much of Mirefa’s disappearance. She always tried to get away from him and occasionally succeeded. It was only when the sun began to rise that he started to worry. She had never come back this late before.
Supposedly, there shouldn’t be anything truly dangerous around, but even a simple fall from a tree could cause serious injuries. When he volunteered to search for his sister, his parents told him that it wasn’t necessary and that they would make sure to scold her when she came back.
By the time night fell again, even his parents began to worry, and all three of them went around asking their neighbors and searching for where she went. No one seemed to know, and the heavy rainfall the previous day erased any potential footprints or scent she left behind.
Cabg already lost Sofare once, and there was no way he wanted to lose Mirefa as well. He searched throughout the day, from night to day, and could find no signs of his sister.
He eventually came back to the river where he last parted with Mirefa. Exhausted from the entire day and also from the lack of sleep, he laid down on the floor to rest. He thought to himself exactly what went wrong. Was he cursed to always lose his sisters? Or was his behavior to blame? Beda did warn him that his overprotectiveness was likely to backfire as Mirefa spent a lot of time trying to run away from him, which would put her in more risky situations than if he didn’t blatantly stalk her everywhere. That being said, if he did that with Sofare, she would never have been left behind and would still be alive.
If Cabg found Mirefa, what should he say to her? Or no, when he found her, as he refused to believe that she would be permanently missing. He had to admit that she disappeared under his watch, which also meant that he was responsible, and whether it is because he didn’t do a good enough job at it, or that Beda was correct and that his behavior caused her to disappear, it didn’t change the fact that it was his fault. Should he scold her for running away? Apologize for following her around everywhere? Both?
He also wondered, if he ever met Sofare in some way or form, what should he say to her?
Right when he had that thought, the ghostly form of Sofare appeared before him. She looked the same as he remembered her all those years ago. Was the lack of sleep getting to him? Or did whatever remains of her sister come at this time to scold him for failing to protect his newer sister?
Regardless of what actually was going on, Cabg immediately knelt to the ghostly image of Sofare and pressed his head down onto the dirt and cried, “I am so sorry I couldn’t protect you five years ago. If only I knew, I would have never left you out of my sight. Not only that, when our parents gave birth to another sister, I even let her out of my grasp. I have no excuse for my sins. If you are here to haunt or curse me, go ahead and do it. I deserve it.”
He wasn’t actually sure what he expected, but whatever it was, he definitely did not expect to feel his head gently petted, and the nostalgic voice of his sister to say, “My dear brother, it must have been hard for you. Don’t blame yourself. I, at the very least, do not blame you at all for what happened five years ago in the slightest. It was simply bad luck, and my habit of distancing myself from my peers. Now raise your head.”
Cabg did as asked. Sofare continued as she looked straight into his eyes, “If you truly want to redeem yourself, there is a much better way than putting the blame all on yourself and feeling miserable. I personally would like you to be happy and so would our parents.”
“What way is that?”
“I understand that if you were present before the giant rats came, none of that would have happened, but remember, Mirefa and I are different. Or rather, I’d say we are almost opposites. In fact, if she was in the same position as I was, she’d simply follow the massive trail you left behind and could probably carry the entire tent on her back and catch up to the group within an hour.”
He thought that actually was a fair assessment.
Sofare continued, “All you are really doing is making her feel uncomfortable and unhappy. So I propose that you stop stalking her and just trust her. I’m sure you would have her happy right? And if you can make her happier, that’s plenty enough for redemption.”
“But who would watch over her when she’s in danger?”
Sofare let out a sigh and asked, “We don’t have any older siblings, right? Then who watched over you when you grew up? And you are still doing fine.”
“There were still our parents.”
“And our parents still exist, don’t they? Anyways, before I leave, I just wanted to let you know I don’t blame you in the slightest, whether it’s about the egg dropping or what happened five years ago. What I do blame you for is that Mirefa clearly doesn’t like you to be with her all the time and you aren’t helping anyone by doing that. Oh, and you must have been tired trying to look for her the entire time, right? She’s safe and she’ll return home today”
“Will Mirefa really come home?”
“Of course.”
Upon hearing that, Cabg laid down on the floor in relief, and then said, “Thank goodness.”
Sofare gently patted his head and said, “Just relax and catch up on the sleep you look like you really need.”
Cabg closed his eyes and did just that.
I asked Mirefa, “Do you think we should move him somewhere more comfortable?”
“No need. Do you think he’ll listen to you?”
“Probably?”
“Good. Now time to go home.”
I followed Mirefa, since we weren’t in a rush anymore and being carried would look rather strange.
A few random lupoy greeted my sister on the way and then asked who I was. I wasn’t sure if it would be a problem for someone supposedly dead to come back to life, and since I was only visiting temporarily anyways, I answered that I was just Mirefa’s friend.
My sister did ask me, “Why are you introducing yourself as my friend rather than my sister?”
“You don’t see me as a friend? That hurts.”
“What? No, I do, but —”
“Then that’s fine right?” I interrupted.
She wasn’t convinced but I managed to get her to not question it.
When we finally arrived home, Mirefa told me, “You go in first.”
“Why? Shouldn’t you let our parents know that you’re safe and sound first?”
“It’s so you can distract them, so they might forget to punish me.”
I replied, “In that case, you definitely need to go in first.”
“But —”
“I already helped you out with Cabg. Also, I agree that you should be punished anyways. You want me to join in?”
“How would you punish me? You’re not my parents.”
“Guess you’ll never learn magic then.”
“No, I’m sorry! I’ll go,” she said and then ran straight through the tent flap.
I stood outside the entrance so I could hear the conversation within.
“Oh Cabg, did you hear any news about Mirefa?”
“Uh, I’m here?” Mirefa said hesitantly.
“WHERE WERE YOU THIS ENTIRE TIME? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED WE WERE? WE BOTHERED THE NEIGHBORS AND KEPT ASKING THEM FOR YOUR WHEREABOUTS. YOUR MOTHER EVEN SKIPPED WORK JUST TO LOOK FOR YOU! YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR AND FURTHERMORE — WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”
My sister ran back outside, saw me, and then hid behind me. My irate father followed after her and then he just froze.
“Uh, I’m just a figment of your imagination. Just ignore me and continue,” I said, while pushing my sister in front of me.
My father apparently decided that my excuse was more believable and continued, “So, uh, where was I? Oh, after Sofare disappeared,” He said as he looked at me confusedly, “you know it’s important to let us know where you are.”
“But she’s literally standing right in front of you!” Mirefa complained.
“But that’s just a hallucination. Wait, how come you can see her too?”
“Sofare is real!”
“I’m not,” I replied. “You should continue to yell at Mirefa.”
“See? Even she agrees,” my father replied.
My sister glared at me. In response, I said, “You can’t just try to escape from your father like that. Stop trying to escape your punishment by using me as your shield.”
I suppose my father’s confusion ended, since he decided to pick me up, bring me up to his eye level and said, “Sofare? You’re … back?”
I decided that continuing to gaslight my father would be rather cruel so I said, “Yes. I’m back.”
“Where were you this entire time? Do you know how worried we were?”
Why did those words sound so familiar? Oh right, he literally was yelling that at my sister before. I decided to respond, “I’ll tell you the details later, but first you should continue lecturing Mirefa.”
“Dad, if you think about it, didn’t Sofare basically do the same thing that you’re trying to punish me for, but for five years instead of a few days?”
In the end, my father got so confused he decided to let my mother deal with it instead and got me to explain what happened to me.
Cabg woke up refreshed and felt as if he had a weight taken off his shoulder. He did wonder if that was purely a dream or not, but he decided it doesn’t matter. One thing he did want to do was to ensure that Mirefa actually arrived home and it wasn’t just his subconscious hoping otherwise.
When he arrived at the entrance, he could hear his mother’s voice yelling and some spanking noises. Deciding that interrupting would be quite boorish of him, he went to his room, only to find it occupied.
“Hi, Cabg, how was your nap?” The intruder spoke.
“...Sofare?”
“Why are you surprised? I literally was talking to you before you went to sleep.”
“That actually happened, and it wasn’t a dream?”
“It did. I really hope that you will still keep your promises regardless.”
Cabg came in for the hug and began crying. “I thought you were dead!”
“I could guess that based on the fact you thought I was a ghost,” Sofare said as she patted his head.
It was one thing when he thought it was a dream, but now knowing that she was alive, he still had to keep his dignity as the older brother. It was falling flat because of his crying of course, but he had to try.
“Why are you patting my head as if I were a child? I’m old enough to be an adult already.”
“To me, you’ll always be that cute brother of mine.”
Cabg had no idea what to think about that, so instead he changed the topic to ask what was bothering him the entire time. “Why do you look the same since you disappeared?”
Sofare let out a sigh and explained that she already had to say it twice to his parents, and then gave a succinct summary of what happened.