Reincarnated as an Elf’s Best Friend

 

Even though I did say 168₷ was a lot of money, I actually had about 800₷, but that’s because I never spent it on anything. However, having a meal be worth more than a month of my salary is a bit much. That being said, I still am very curious how good that restaurant really is, so I plan to invite her out on her birthday or something. I really hope they don’t kick me out of the restaurant or anything, or I’d be forced to order to-go. Actually, would to-go even be a thing in a world without cheap disposable plastic food containers? Well with that exorbitant price, they could surely afford to give us wooden plates or something.

 

In the meantime I also looked up exactly how expensive a Ferina was, and apparently, the cheapest untrained Ferina fetches up to about 10000₷, so I’m definitely not getting one anytime soon.

 

When magic learning time came around, Anortha simply handed me a magic stone that acts as a heater, and told me that I should just practice activating it until I can do it in under 36 seconds. Unlike the stove version, the heat on this one will cap so I can’t burn myself. Also, by letting me do everything myself I could set the pace to whatever I wish.

 

It took more than two minutes to activate it, and I pretty much just turned it on and off until I got tired enough to go to sleep.

 

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A few weeks later, I still couldn’t activate the magic stone fast enough, but at the very least, I got on average a two to three second improvement every day, so I wasn’t discouraged. Another bonus was that I no longer felt sleepy after doing it, so I was clearly improving there too.

 

It was close to the end of the year, which meant the holiday season was coming up. The elves don’t celebrate Christmas or anything, but a long long time ago in a land far far away, the elven king established his empire on the 24th day of the twelfth month. And since the twelfth month only had 25 days, it bleeds into the new year celebration.

 

Supposedly, the elven king was known to be very generous, giving gifts to his subjects and hosting a massive public party, so on that day, it became a custom to give gifts.

 

I thought this was a perfect opportunity to take Anortha to that fancy restaurant, so when the elven founding day arrived, we headed off to eat lunch.

 

According to Anortha, there wasn’t a dress code or anything particular I had to pay attention to, but the looks I was getting from other customers while entering was rather uncomfortable. If I had to guess, it’s more likely I’m getting stares because of what I am rather than what I’m wearing, but you never know.

 

When we arrived at the reception, a handsome elf greeted us with, “Welcome to the Golden Toad Restaurant! How many of you will be joining us on this fine day?”

 

“Two,” Anortha replied, pointing at herself and then at me.

 

The man didn’t change his smiling facial expression at all as he continued, “I’m afraid that some of our other guests may not be comfortable in your presence, but we do have some private rooms for two available. Would that be fine?”

 

Anortha asked, “Uh, would that cost any extra?”

 

“Yes, for the low low price of only 5 silver! You’ll have access to a completely private room with an astounding view of the forest!”

 

Anortha looked at me, and I nodded. It was better than being denied entry, and being looked at funnily was getting on my nerves.

“Okay, we’ll take the private room,” Anortha said.

 

“Great! Gloria here will take you to your room and will be your waitress for the day.”

 

The female elf who I presumed was Gloria bowed and said, “Please follow me, esteemed guests,” and began to guide us to our room.

 

I was already tired from climbing up to get to the restaurant itself, and now there are more stairs to climb?

 

When we finally arrived, I could see the sea of leaves of the trees from the window, which made for a picturesque scene.

 

Gloria handed us the menu and said, “When our esteemed guests are ready, please ring the bell,” and then left the room, closing the door behind her.

 

When I looked at the menu, I did not recognize any of the items. Apparently, neither did Anortha, as she said that they just gave them fancy names. She told me to just read the description instead. 

 

I ended up ordering the dish with Ferina steak with Ferina eggs, with a side of local salad, simply because I’ve never eaten Ferina before. When she knew what I ordered she gave me this look, muttering “but the poor Ferina.”

 

Anortha ordered some pasta dish with a sauce I’ve never heard of before and consisted of spices I’ve also never heard of, but she claimed tasted really good.

 

I was very worried about the fact that there was no price on the menu, but Anortha assured me that it would be fine. I did bring my entire savings just in case, but I still am worried if it will go over budget.

 

When I rang the bell, Gloria immediately entered, saying, “What can I get for our esteemed guests?”

 

I simply pointed at the menu entry, and Anortha did the same.

 

“Okay, and what would you like to drink?” When Anortha gave her a blank stare, the waitress continued with, “I would recommend our special drink of Chardonnay or our homemade fermented chielbero.”

 

“Uh, then I’ll take the homemade drink then.”

 

“Okay, I’ll be back with your drinks soon, esteemed guests.”

 

While waiting for the drinks to arrive, I wrote on the paper, “Is there no age limit for alcohol or something?”

 

Anortha looked at me quizzically and asked, “Why did you suddenly bring up alcohol?”

 

WIth a growing sense of unease, I wrote, “Because fermented chielbero sounds like something alcoholic.”

 

“Oh is that so? Well I never tried alcoholic drinks so it would be nice to try it. There is no strict age limit, although alcohol isn’t usually given to children. Guess that waitress recognizes me as an adult then.”

 

Not really wanting to comment on that statement, since I would assume that alcohol would be more expensive than other drinks, which is the primary reason why they would offer it, I gestured out the window and wrote, “It’s a nice view, isn’t it?”

 

Anortha, looked out and remarked, “Yeah, and also reminds me that I live in the middle of nowhere.”

 

Awkward silence ensued, which was broken by Gloria knocking on the door, then entering with two glasses of bright red liquid.

 

The waitress said, “Enjoy your fermented chielbero! Your meals will be coming shortly.”

 

A quick whiff of the drink made it clear that it was indeed an alcoholic drink. I had drunk alcohol before in the past, but with this body, I was somewhat concerned if I would be causing myself problems.

 

I wrote, “You do know magic to cure the effects of alcohol, right?”

 

“Of course.” Anortha took a swig of the red liquid and gulped it down. She coughed as she complained, “What’s up with the burning sensation?”

 

“That’s alcohol. Also, I wouldn’t drink it in that large of a gulp, especially if it’s your first time.”

 

I took a sip of the alcohol. It was surprisingly sweet with a pleasant aroma. I didn’t actually feel the burning sensation that Anortha described, but that might be because she took a huge gulp while I didn’t.

 

By the time the food arrived, Anortha already finished her glass, and started looking as red as the fermented chielbero itself.

 

The waitress said, “Here are your meals, esteemed guests. Due to it being founding day, all of our drinks have free unlimited refills. Would you like some more homemade fermented chielbero?”

 

Anortha replied, “Do you have a less… spicy version? It tastes great, it’s just that it is a bit spicy for me.”

 

“Of course, but it’ll also be a bit more diluted. Is that fine?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Wait, the drink was supposed to be spicy? I thought the burning sensation was the same when one drinks whisky or something, not because of it being spicy. It didn’t even feel spicy at all to me though.

 

I wrote to the waitress, “Do you have a spicier version? I can’t taste the heat at all.”

 

She replied, “Of course we do. Although if you can’t taste the spiciness at all, then would you like to try our extra super hot fermented chielbero drink?”

 

That suspicious glint in her eyes made it seem a bit scary, so I replied with, “Can I just have a bit of a taste first before deciding?”

 

“Naturally. Well then, enjoy your meal while I get your new set of drinks for you.”

 

I was worried about Anortha’s face being rather red, but if it was actually because of spiciness, than it should be fine. Just in case, I wrote to Anortha, “You are feeling fine, right? No dizziness or anything?”

 

She replied, “I’m good. Just a bit warm from the drink.”

 

I turned my attention to my meal and dug in. The Ferina I ordered tasted like chicken, which I guess wasn’t very surprising given that it is a large bird. It was more juicy than chicken, but also tougher, but it was still tasty overall. The eggs were also delicious, but the salad that came with it was pretty mediocre. Sure, the leaves were fresh, but the sauce wasn’t tasty. Overall, I would not spend a month’s salary on the meal.

 

After savoring a few bites, the waitress came over with a small cup with a very intensely red liquid and a glass filled with a diluted version of the fermented chielbero we had earlier. I hesitantly grabbed the small cup and sipped the contents. I didn’t taste any spiciness whatsoever. Just a nice sweet taste and a richer, more pleasant aroma.

 

I wrote, “This is fine, I’ll have more of this.”

 

The waitress plopped an entire bottle of extra super hot fermented chielbero along with a wine glass, and left, saying, “Alright then, enjoy! Ring for service if you need a refill or are finished.”

 

I resumed eating my tasty, yet definitely overpriced lunch. About half way through, Anortha abruptly said, “You should eat this pasta. Maybe you can recreate the taste at home,” and without further ado, shoved a forkful into my mouth.

 

The pasta texture wasn’t bad, but it had a major flaw, which I told her, “The sauce tastes like soap to me.”

 

She looked horrified and said, “What?! But it doesn’t taste like soap at all, rather it’s the most delicious thing in the world!”

 

“Well, not everyone has the same preferences. Do you want to try some of my meal?”

 

“No. I heard that some animals have a good sense of smell, so if they noticed that you have been eating them, they’ll never get close to you, and since I want a Ferina I’ll never be eating them.”

 

Not sure how accurate that is, but that just means more for me.

 

I have no idea how low the alcohol content of my drink actually contained, but I felt completely sober even after drinking the entire bottle. Meanwhile, Anortha’s speech began to slur a bit after finishing her second glass. She still reached for the bell, so I had to stop her.

 

I wrote, “You’re clearly drunk. I don’t think you should be getting another refill. Or at least use your magic and clear yourself of alcohol first.”

 

Anortha uttered, “I’m not drunk the redness of my face is cause of the spiciness.”

 

“That’s what all drunk people say, and your speech isn’t helping. Just use your magic first.”

 

“Okay okay.”

 

Anortha wrapped herself in a gentle green light, which faded after a few seconds.

 

She slurred, “See I told you I’m not drunk I don’t feel any different.”

 

“I think it’s because whatever you did didn’t work.”

 

“No it did let me ring the bell,” Anortha said and yanked the bell.

 

Gloria came in and asked, “What can I do for the esteemed guests?”

 

Anortha said, “Can I have another cup of the fermented thing preferably not spicy or less spicy if possible.”

 

I quickly wrote to the waitress, “Can you either make her sober first, or at least prevent her from getting more drunk?”

 

Gloria whispered into my ears, “As it is founding day, it would be uncouth to remove her drunkenness, but I suppose it would be better if she didn’t drink too much to the point of harming herself. I can give her some non alcoholic drinks instead.”

 

I wrote, “Please do.”

 

Pulling away from me, the waitress continued, “It seems like esteemed guest has finished the entire bottle of our signature extra super hot fermented chielbero. Was it to your liking?”

 

“It was great. However, “ I wrote, but then wondered if I should continue.

 

“However?”

 

Ah whatever, let me just write it. “However, it wasn’t spicy enough.”

 

The waitress was very professional throughout the entire lunch, not even batting an eye when she saw me or even when I wrote in response to her. However, reading that it wasn’t spicy enough, her professional mask crumbled and she looked shocked, maybe even horrified. She picked up the bottle and mumbled, “No, I definitely gave the right one.” Abruptly, she put back on her professional smile and said, “Alright, if even our special extra super hot fermented chielbero isn’t spicy enough, then would you like to directly eat a fresh chielbero? One of them is enough to flavor an entire pot. It’s also on the house, even though normally it would cost quite a bit.”

 

Suspecting that I simply don’t have the taste buds to detect the spiciness, I wrote, “Sure.”

 

The waitress came back with a small plate of bright red berries and a wine glass with some red drink. “These are our spiciest cultivar of chielbero,” she said as she placed the plate in front of me, “And here is your definitely alcoholic drink,” she said as she placed the wine glass in front of Anortha. The waitress turned to me and whispered, “Don’t worry, it isn’t,” and continued in a normal voice, “Would you like to try the chielbero and tell us your thoughts?”

 

I grabbed one of the berries and just threw it in my mouth. As I chewed, all I could taste was a mellow sweetness and a pleasant aroma. Given Gloria’s previous reaction when I said that the drink wasn’t spicy enough, I decided to write, “These chielberoy¹plural form of chielbero taste good enough, thanks.”

 

“Glad to hear that. Well, enjoy the rest of your meal and feel free to call for me if you need anything else.”

 

I finished eating my original meal along with the small plate of berries. Meanwhile Anortha also finished hers, and happily drank her “definitely alcoholic” drink, which I guessed was just a non-fermented chielbero drink.

 

When we got up to leave, Anortha couldn’t walk quite straight, and since there were lots of stairs, I had to hold her hand to make sure she wouldn’t fall.

 

Then the moment of truth arrived. We arrived at the reception area to pay the bill, and the gentleman stated, “That will be six gold coins, one silver coin, and eleven bronze coins.”

 

Even the drunk Anortha reacted to the price, as she shouted, “What, that much?!”

 

The elven man said, “What do you mean that much. For our special holiday meal and bonuses, it’s a steal! Not to mention this also includes the tip for the waitress too.”

 

Well I did have six gold coins, but that was all I had. I dumped them on the counter and had to urge Anortha to put the rest, which she did have. She reluctantly did, while muttering something about “robbery in broad daylight.”

 

On the way back home, Anortha ended up leaning against me for balance while talking on and on about rather random things.

 

By the time we did reach home, Anortha collapsed on the bed, dragging me with her, and then buried her face in my tail while giggling.

 

Note to self: Alcohol and Anortha don’t mix, I thought, as she rubbed her face on my tail while hugging it. She rather quickly fell asleep, and I had to gently extract my tail from her grasp.

 

While she was clearly more sober when dinner time rolled around, she also complained about a headache. Luckily, she was sober enough to cure herself of the headache, and with it, her drunkenness.

 

I ended up having to give her a brief lecture about alcohol, which was cut short by the arrival of her parents, who luckily didn’t seem to notice that we had been drinking before.