Reincarnated as a Phoenix

----------

 ---Before and after again. Like usual, these obviously aren't to scale.

----------

“You know… why are we even seeing this? The map I mean… or was this here to begin with?”

“Heh, it’s just a representation of our lands Ikarus. Don’t think it matters all that much”

(Garry) “Aye, the lass is right. We used maps like this back in the kingdom because accurately mapping out mountains and caves is terribly boring work”

(Dionysus) “At least you lot use maps. There’s a reason why so many places were abandoned in Olympus, we never found a solution to reliably map out portals”

(Marcus) “We do have a map that’s to scale around here somewhere that accurately depicts the size of the islands. Other than for shipping purposes, no one really uses it”

Ah, an update to our world map… that’s tremendously out of scale and winds me up just as much as the voices inside my head. Hey, it’s nice to have a representation of how things are developing… just sucks that we don’t have satellites taking images and spying on us from up above. Lesbos Maps or Earth perhaps? We really need a space program or something to visit our moon sometime… maybe someday we will if those books I brought over can now be read. We’ll create our own scientists!

Anyways, land wise, the only island that actually is close to being filled is the first one with the hot springs. Development over there never stops… development doesn’t really stop anywhere on our three islands thinking about it.

Things have been thriving everywhere in the last five years that we’ve been gone, with even the third island getting a bridge and being settled. Don’t even ask about the church that has been built to worship the two queens and Princess Aesa, at least the cultists have a hobby I suppose. According to the map, they live in tents because all their resources went into the statues and the church. Priorities I guess, even Marcus the politician has no idea on these lot at times.

Forget all that kingdom building crap! As for who’s at the council meeting at our big table that needed a few, most of the usual lot are here with a few exceptions being Nat x Lotte and some heavenly beings mixed in. I really can’t be bothered to go into intricate detail on every single person, this building could do with being expanded with how cramped it is in here. Honestly surprised we didn’t come back to an expensive palace built in our name or an extravagant town hall. There ain’t no unauthorized corruption going on around here!

I do want to point out, Petra’s on my lap today as we act as the CEOs of this shtick we’ve all got going on. Definitely not down to lack of room and nothing romantic at all.

“So, back on topic then. The arrangement of the Gods will go in stages and we’ll need people to guide them to the right places. Any volunteers?”

One of the main things that we’ve been discussing is making sure the right people get to the right places. Gods affiliated with anything crafting wise will be suited for areas around the mines, or a God associated with turds, then the sewage business! It’s a lot of paperwork which isn’t helped by the fact someone decided to teach people a second language.

(Penelope) “I’ll happily take anyone who likes magic! They must know I will beat the living shit out of anybody who acts like an idiot though!”

‘Takes one to know one considering she’s stroking her pet rock even now’

(Dionysus) “You can count on me for some of the settling in Ikarus. A good party and a selection of drinks will get a lot of the Gods onboard”

(Uriel) “I’ll offer up my assistance… even though this place is just as confusing to me”

(Hermes) “Samesss! I’ll be able to adapt quick enough if you give me a few days to explore!”

(Asmodeus) “Heh, I’d offer my hand but couldn’t care less on all that tedious nonsense”

Now scoffing at the demon lord not wanting to take any responsibility, the little birdie up on my lap has something she’d like to add. I swear I’m getting a girl boner with her like this, thank fuck I’m not a dude or part futa in a moment like this.

(Petra) “What about an actual representative for the Gods? Might end up getting chaotic if we have too many opinions floating around”

…

Surprisingly enough, silence falls when none of the Gods in attendance want to take the burden of leadership. I guess I can now relate to Zeus a bit, no one wants to take responsibility so it’s on us to keep leading unfortunately.

“Me and Nat can do that for now if you want Petra-sama. We have to be here for a while and my Lor-, Nat’s definitely picked up some things from Desmond”

“I wouldn’t say I’ve learnt much Lotte… other than how unorthodox relationships can sometimes be”

Looks like succubus-sama and Apollo are taking that mantle then. It’s still weird to me that Nathan is a God, mainly because I can’t look at him in any other way that the guy who released me from that prison cell years ago. Oh, and his trademark stutter when it comes to my parents.

Oddly enough, this is when Aphrodite joins in the conversation. I’m not joking about the amount of people inside this room, it would be slightly overwhelming if Petra wasn’t here. Maybe that’s why she’s on my lap for a change, she could sense my brain starting to itch.

“Can I ask something if it’s okay? Does anyone know where Hephaestus is hiding? I know he went down here a while ago and I really don’t want to search the entire world. These islands have enough adult stores to make a gal happy as it is!”

Aphrodite asks that, with a somewhat guilty look upon her face and it’s not for the dumb adult store comment. I’m not entirely sure on the myths between those two but I can’t imagine they’d hate each other or have an extremely terrible past.

“He’s far off in the dwarven kingdom alongside Athena, at least that was the case when we were down here last”

(Nathan) “Actually Ikarus, Hep-, Jarl Denver should still be in the empire right now”

“Yes, me and Nat left early to make sure things were okay over here, Ikarus-sama”

Ah right, the imminent attack that’s happening. Asmodeus has only shared a detail or two and Nathan has apparently been setting up defences already, not like we really know what’s going to happen. All we can really do is prepare for the worst and we’ll see how that goes.

“Thanks Nathan, or Apollo? I’ve got ask something… was it you or Helios that liked the sun? That shit is confusing the hell out of me”

That’s a myth that even I’m unsure on. Both Gods have connections to the sun so the fact they are part of the same faction is slightly odd. It’s not like Freyja and Aphrodite where they are Goddesses of the same thing but are connected with different worlds all together. It’s a shame we never got around to visiting Valhalla or something like that.

“It’s… complicated Ikarus. He personifies the sun while I can harness certain aspects of it to use on other things. He wouldn’t be able to harm you in the slightest using his magic though”

‘Ah, the perks of fire resistance. Gotta love phoenix DNA… when it’s not overly complicated and confusing like how fertility is supposed to work’

“Back to the other conversation then… any reason you want to know where Hephaestus is, Aphrodite?”

“Oh, he is my husband after all Ikarus. It would be pretty bad if we are in the same realm and I don’t try and search for him at least!”

…

Hang on… Aphrodite is married to Hephaestus? I must’ve missed that on Greek mythology 101. Petra of course can’t help herself, sensing a moment to ask something that I normally would…

(Petra) “Heh, presume you two are in a somewhat open relationship then?”

“Hehe, not really. It’s just what’s a gal supposed to do when your husband disappears? Not relieve that burning desire for passion?”

‘If anything’s burning… she might need to get checked’

(Penelope) “You know… I think I like this God! She’s funny!”

“I like you two! Anyone who understands the true colour of love is perfect in my books!”

Already knowing Miss Genderbender and the Goddess of love are going to be bad influences on each other, extreme pinkness and the chances of them humping aside, someone else enters the room just as I feel we’re getting really off topic. At least one of three is a nice addition…

“Alright idiots, have you gotten through all the boring shit yet? The cow wanted to know if you have some time for some food”

“Uh… hello everyone”

“He-he, keep calling me cow girly boy and you’ll be stuck like that forever!”

All of a sudden, a black haired Zeki enters the room with a goblin fetishist attached to his waist and behind the toxic couple, a shy but friendly bluebird backs them up. I think Ariza must get lonely because she really needs to stay away from the toxic couple…

“Erk… I hate you, so much… bitch”

“Takes one to know one, girly boy!”

Artemis, who was intent on quietly pestering her brother Nathan, now appears to lose that interest and looks towards Mr Obnoxious with his dryad side hoe. You may be thinking why someone this wild is here for a meeting that was supposed to be professional… hiding from Freyja reasons, I think?

“Ah, so this is one of the legendary tree spirts? We’ve got so much to talk about, nature and hunting is as dope as hell, isn’t it!?”

“Noooo! I don’t care if you’re the God of nature, I’m going to cut my own ears off if I have to hear more about boring trees! Don’t you dare even start!”

Ria and trees is a match made in the bowels of hell. She can use them to revive herself from but they are the bane of her existence. Get her started on goblins though… the more I think of things, the more pity I have for Zeki.

(Artemis) “A dryad who doesn’t like nature? The fuck!? Is this bitch broken or something?”

(Zeki) “You know that threesome you owe me cow? I think I’ve found someone suitable”

(Artemis) “W-What!?!”

‘And of course, that comment really pisses off Ria’

“You’re so getting whipped tonight… girly boy. What happened to your desire for gigantic sacks of flesh?”

“Sometimes cow, it’s the personality that matters more. Point being, that wild Goddess knows you’re crazy and that’s attractive. Her being as flat as a fried egg means nothing”

“I’m n-not freaking wild! And… I-I’m attractive? And I’m not fucking flat!”

…

You know that exact moment when your soul leaves your body because of this utter stupidity that infects everything around it? Facepalms and eyerolls flow all around the room from the people are have more than one braincell. Don’t ever thing I’m stupid when it comes to having people like this around us! It’s like a disjointed family, you have to love them, even if they make you want to rip your hair out.

“Ariza… how’s things with you anyway? Please, just say anything somewhat normal… I’m begging you!”

“Uh, I think I’m fine Ikarus. Was just speaking with Loki and he reckons he can find a permanent solution to my problem with enough time and wandering this world for ingredients”

“He-he, make sure he makes a duplicate potion for you know who. He really deserves it”

“Erk, cow… you really are trying my patience today”

Trying my best to ignore the anger and teeth grinding between the dryad and Mr Obnoxious, mainly because I’m unsure if it’ll lead to fighting or sex, Ariza has to get more screen time, goddamn it!

“I’m guessing you’re still seeing the Prince then?”

Blushing, Ariza can’t help but answer before actually speaking. I love being nosey to other people and knowing about what goes on in their love life… except the obvious two that now look to be physically fighting.

“Uhhh… he visits here every now and then Ikarus, so it’s nice. He still has the wyverns to look after so it’s pretty rare though”

“Erk, that little rat made fourth base with brother years ago orangey! They’d have made runts already if birds and flying rats could mate”

‘Fourth base… guess that’s American for sex. Good for Ariza, she’s got herself someone… even if that kid is priceless’

“Damn it Zeki, why did you have to share that!? It’s personal… I never told anyone what really goes on inside your brain, so don’t share that!”

“E-Erk… sorry brother. Didn’t think”

Not even wanting to know what goes on inside Zeki’s head, probably because he secretly enjoys everything thrown his way, I think it’s best we just end this already. There’s still a load of paperwork Marcus wants us to sign off on and frankly, there’s not too many like that around here. I’d say he’s boring if he wasn’t sleeping with our maid… they better still be shagging. I like the drama of a corrupt politician exploiting his power to convince an innocent maid into his bed… even if Eve is clearly not innocent at all.

“Heh, shall we continue this another day Ikarus?”

“Good call Petra… I am curious on why Ragnarök aren’t here though”

“Heh, they have slightly different goals to us sister and thus, a representative isn’t needed. They may be good fighters but they can be a little simple at times. After the invasion arrives, they’ll most likely leave and roam the elven lands in search of a new home”

‘Ah, just a bunch of Vikings roaming the elven forests in search of… Vinland? I can see the appeal if they’re wanting to start afresh. I bet Loki and Freyja will stay though…’

__________

“Look cow, orangey wanted us birds so if you have to hang around like a shitty smell, you can stick with us if you zip it!”

“He-he, I’ll be as quiet as a mouse, promise girly boy!”

After we ‘finished’ that council meeting, I couldn’t help but find some time for Aesa since she wanted to show me the other new ability. After that shitshow where we basically got nothing done except rambling on, it feels good to be somewhere more comfortable where we can relax… and ramble on ourselves, I guess.

Anyways, we’re back in our small but cosy leader’s house and there’s been some changes. Most of which remains the same but it’s almost as if our maid Eve has been making it slightly more fancy in places. Five years were long enough so some of our stuff must’ve degraded in that time, I actually like what she’s done with the place.

----------

----------

Right now, me, Aesa and the wife are accompanied by the bluebird, an idiotic… idiot and his disgusting dryad who clings to his side like always. I guess she really likes his original Earthen girl body? We’ve already figured out Zeki and gender dysphoria makes little to no sense so the fact he hates this form basically comes down to Ria being Ria. Also thinks he just prefers having no breasts and a penis. Calling Zeki a she just wouldn’t sit right unless it’s for teasing purposes really.

Regardless of all this, me and the wife have made ourselves comfortable on the main sofa while everyone takes a seat around us. The reason we’re actually here is because Aesa had something to share about doppelganger and wanted all us birds around for some reason.

“First of all, Aesa would like to examine wife or Ariza. Mr Obnoxious isn’t really needed for this”

“Erk, you’re just as annoying as orangey, fake orangey!”

“Heh, I’ll go first then Aesa”

Placing her hands against the wife’s cheeks and then doing something similar to injecting magic, the urge to get jealous starts to rise except that would be really stupid to do. So, I of course can’t help myself, crossing my arms and snuggling even closer to Petra.

“Huh… that’s not how I remember it”

“Aesa unfortunately can’t do anything for gaps that have already been erased. Sorry wife, only so much is stored so this alone is the most Aesa can do”

“Heh, it’s fine Aesa. It’s better than fine actually… this is the first time I’ve had a conversation with my system in over a century”

“So wait, does this mean your voice is actually back Petra!? Is this huge or what?”

I’m actually not sure really, upgrading doppelganger was definitely worth it if it partially fixes the lifespan of our voices . I can’t be the only one who thinks this is a little anticlimactic.

“Heh, somewhat Ikarus. It’s a little different than before… she sounds just like you though”

‘Great… Petra literally has my voice inside her freaking head now! That’s not creepy at all’

“Aesa had to make some tweaks to get around the complications, only preserving 64% of the original personality. Apologies again wife”

“Heh, stop apologizing Aesa, it’s good. You know… she’s telling me some stuff I never knew about you Ikarus? That you actually enjoy wearing pink and frilly clothing? And there was a time back on Earth you wished you were female?”

“H-Hold up, that’s freaking horseshit! Aesa, j-just what the hell did you tell it!?”

“Aesa already told Ikarus there were complications with wife’s system. This may be related. Although, it could also be wife teasing as well”

Despite now being happy the wife gets to join the life of us with voices inside our heads, it’s slightly bittersweet considering her original voice’s personality seems to be gone for good. For her sake, I’m slightly sad on it…

Don’t even listen to the shit Petra’s voice is spewing, h-heh… erm. My stuttering has nothing to do with anything! Just surprised it’s come out with something like that. Maybe there was a time as a guy I was curious what it would be like as the other gender but, isn’t that the same for everyone? The long hair and the fact I looked feminine had absolutely nothing to do with it, I swear!

Anyways, Aesa moves onto a somewhat confused looking Ariza and does the same thing again while I try my best to not hate the voice now inside the wife. Telling her shit like that, I can’t help but pout.

Once Aesa’s done her thing, our bluebird has a much different reaction compared to the wife. Is it weird I’m calling Ariza a bluebird now? I think it’s fitting for how sweet she is, still can’t come up with a suitable nickname for Petra and bird species won’t work for her. Blackbird, crow or raven, really doesn’t sound all that cute considering how dark and silky her hair is.

“Uh… Laura!?! You know what’s going on? How many fingers have I got holding up?

Ariza puts up both her hands and shows six fingers and two thumbs, all the while smiling like a dope.

“Uh huh, thumbs don’t count… you actually got it! I’m so proud of you! Thank you Aesa, thank you, thank you!”

Clearly going through a range of emotions, Ariza looks close to forming tears because of the happiness she’s feeling. Not entirely sure why having a nagging voice in your head is that big of a deal…

[<Remember Ikarus, Aesa can install suicidal package if such a thing is desired>]

‘Yeah yeah Aesa. You know I’m kidding… and I also remember the fact you like being my robotic wife!’

[<Aesa was drunk when that was spoken, Aesa takes it back>]

‘Now backtracking and lying, are you? You know how easy it would be to convince the wife I’m tired of sharing her with you? Just think about that’

[<Aesa… thinks she should probably shut up now. Ikarus has finally become evil to the core despite Aesa’s best efforts to keep her on the right path>]

‘A system that thinks with its loins rather than its head, no wonder you failed Aesa’

“…No no Laura, it’s nothing to worry about, we all know deep down Zeki likes that stuff… thanks! I forgot I still had that ability”

“Erk, the fuck did she just say about me brother!? Don’t ignore me, answer the question!”

Ariza continues to smile speaking to her voice which makes all of us happy inside, all except Zeki because even the sweetest of phoenixes has a voice that causes him torment.

She has always been the one phoenix out of us all that must be protected at all costs, funny how she arguably has the most questionable system considering how sweet she is. What’s worse, controlling minds and bending people to your will, or nuking entire civilizations? Eh, Zeki’s is made around burning people, and Petra’s is a mix of swordplay and hellfire so I guess we’re all somewhat questionable.

“Fake orangey… is there anyway of permanently shutting up a voice? I’d have drilled this bastard out years ago if I could… fuck you too!”

Sighing at what looks like Zeki’s getting insulted from inside, I really wish we could talk to his voice and get a different perspective. Because you know damn well, Zeki’s always going to be in the wrong!

“All phoenixes excluding Ikarus, grab onto Aesa for a second and she’ll gift you something. The systems may not like it but it may potentially prove useful someday”

Doing as asked even if Zeki looks reluctant as hell, the other three phoenixes in this room grab onto Aesa, despite not knowing what’s going to happen next. You know… it may technically be five phoenixes in this room if Aesa’s status is anything to go off… but then again, real phoenixes can’t be scanned so maybe not. Ignore my inner monologing  quickly!

‘Is she giving them our doppelganger as wel-… no, I guess it’s not the same. This is quite strange though’

Instead of forming in as clones of the other three birds which was what I was expecting, three shadows or silhouettes begin to form alongside the other birds. I guess it is a form of doppelganger in some ways.

<Heh, this is quite the experience. I’m not starting to blush or anything, am I?>

‘So, Petra’s voice is a mix of me and her. That’s not weird at all’

<If possible… could we braid Zeki’s hair quickly? Uh, he would look so sweet like that>

<Please, all of you help and recuse me from this imbecile I’ve possessed! This idiot is slowly driving me insane with his reluctance to learn anything educational. I’m slowly getting twisted into enjoying some of the disturbing stuff this jug lover is into!>

Not even giving it a second to think, Zeki tries his hand at taking down his shade, only to punch through it like it’s made of steam. Even I didn’t think that would work, can’t help but shake my head as well.

“Erk, why won’t you just fucking die already!?! I don’t need you!”

<I don’t need you as well idiot! Why I was assigned to you by those oute-…>

Suddenly, all three shades get absorbed back into the original bodies, shocking all of us apart from Aesa. Petra less so because does she ever looked shocked? The only time she does is when I take the lead in our relationship.

“Hold up… the fuck was that he just said?”

“*Sigh*… apologies Ikarus. For programming reasons, Aesa cannot say. The same thing applies to all systems and designation number five in particular will now be punished severely, Or, Zeki’s system for short since Zeki still hasn’t named it”

“Erk, why the fuck would I ever name that idiot? Motherfucker actually tried to get me to read Shakespear from orangey’s Earth haul! As if I’d ever consider reading anything that doesn’t have guns and explosions in it!”

‘The fact I can somewhat relate to Zeki on reading literature like that makes me realize… I need to better myself’

Despite now knowing there’s something Aesa isn’t revealing, surprisingly enough, I’m not all that fussed. We’ve already figured out why us phoenixes came into this world and the slight amount of biology behind us, honestly don’t even care about the people who apparently assigned our voices to us.

It’s probably some God… or, those powerful beings that restricted me back on Earth and made me a demon lord. With the number of coincidences in this world, it wouldn’t surprise me if there’s some simple and easy connection like that. Already said I really don’t care though.

“You named your voice Petra or are you sticking with what it used to be?”

‘Did Petra tell me what her voice used to be called? I kinda feel bad if she did and I’ve forgotten’

“Heh, I’m thinking either Ikra… or Petrus. Ikra does sound better though”

“*Sighhh*… because it’s a mix of our names, right?”

“Heh, correct Ikarus. It’s a little strange but your voice can never be beat. I don’t think there’s anything she won’t say as well, it’s wonderful”

…

‘So great. Now, I’ve got to compete with Aesa, the Ikarus plushie, and the incriminating voice inside my wife’s head. What foul sin did I commit to justify such an unjust fate? Maybe kicking an angel wasn’t the way to go, this is just karma rolling back around…”