Reincarnated as a Phoenix

---So we're back! Got the laptop back a lot quicker than I was anticipating but been stuck with writing, hence the longer break. I've also been going through some stuff so stress levels are at an all time high, meaning it'll probably be 2 chapters a week until things settle down. Thanks for still sticking around!

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‘Ouch, it makes no sense why I can still feel that from last night... yo Aesa? You down for some system shit?’

[<Does Ikarus really nearly to describe system management and distribution as…  ‘system shit?’>]

‘Heya, you gotta problem with my lingo bruv? I’m inside me head so it’s aight, innit?’

[<Clearly Ikarus still has some endorphins running through your head from last night… pre system check incoming…>]

[Name: Ikarus   |   Species: Phoenix (Demon Lord)   |   Level: 1000]

[Health    166,666/166,666]

[Stamina 164,698/166,666]

[Magicka 166,666/166,666]

[You currently have 100001 unassigned points]

While heading over to the main tavern in search of Plutus who was last seen there, also locked by hand alongside the wife, it’s now time for some system management as killing Ares gave me some more points to work with. I still had fifty thousand to begin with so today might finally be the day I upgrade everything I can… having a single point left isn’t going to be annoying at all.

The parents are off having a date, I think? They said they have some business to attend to but were being a little suspect about it so I’m naïvely going to assume it’s that. It’s definitely not the thing that comes after dating. I must get my libido off someone after all so they could be humping, I really don’t wanna think about it though!

Still no word from Asmodeus just yet and Dio also seems to have disappeared, it’s almost as if their lives don’t revolve around us. It’s madness everyone just disappears when we’re supposed to be dealing with Zeus. Here’s hoping this isn’t people just wanting to slack off but then again, we did just compete in a pointless tournament arc. It’s pretty much pointless considering we seem to get looks everyone we go now. Popularity sucks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

‘So, I can upgrade two abilities then? I’m thinking eye of wisdom could be a good idea since my lie detector isn’t perfect… what about upgrading something I’ve already upgraded though?’

I mean, I’m not going to upgrade aspect of gigantomachy again but… it might make my breasts in that form even bigger. I definitely haven’t spent hours already just chilling in aspect because bigger breasts could solve depression, no no no…

[<Unfortunately Ikarus, that idea won’t work. Upgrading an ability is a one-time thing and Aesa would strongly suggest avoid upgrading ability -eye of wisdom-. Point being, we already have the wife for anything wisdom related and Ikarus’s extreme naivety was lost long ago>]

‘Eh, guess you’re right… that almost sounded like a compliment but I’ll let it pass. There’s just so many options I can choose though…’

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---Why am I linking the interval? Just imagine the jumbled mess of abilities is what Ikarus can see lol. You don’t have to click on it.

Reincarnated as a Phoenix - Interval (Vol 5) | Scribble Hub

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‘…Let’s upgrade star blaze because hopefully the size of it should increase and… screw it. Something unrelated to fire… hey Aesa, would upgrading second chance remove the cooldown?’

It’s mainly down to the ability that allows me to revive someone, think what happened to Ariza rather than the phoenix revive I can use on myself every five hundred years. Before we came up to the heavens, was roughly three months left on that before the cooldown timer would reset.

[<-Star blaze- has been confirmed and apologies Ikarus, Aesa isn’t sure. The chances are, more than 3 months would’ve passed before you return so it might not be worth the risk>]

‘Eh, fuck it, let’s upgrade plot protection then. Kinda curious to see how you can improve upon invulnerability’

Plot protection might as well be the GOATed ability thus far, invulnerability for five minutes with only drawback being cooldown says it all really.

[<First of all, ability -star blaze mark 2- range has been increased and reduced visibility within the fireball is no longer a concern. The same cooldown timer is still in effect though…>]

Sure, Aesa is definitely being vague on the range but the fact I should be able to see more than two feet in front of me is a blessing in itself.

[<…The ability -plot protection mark 2- time of use has been upped from 5 minutes to 10 and can now reflect damage. Once a day still applies to both though>]

‘Reflecting damage? Okay, that’s pretty dope if I’m being honest…’

Returning back to the present and now having a slight smile of my face, me and Petra arrived at the tavern several minutes ago but she could tell I was conversing with Aesa. It’s a shame she can’t join in like a group chat… although, allowing her admin access inside my brain sounds like a very bad idea. She is supposed to be the more perverted lovebird after all…

“Heh, all sorted then Ikarus?”

“Yeah yeah Petra, thanks for waiting. Let’s go confront this little shit…”

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“Oh no! Look you two… before you say anything, I’m sorry! I had no choice but to do what I did!”

Hiding behind a table also wielding a chair as a weapon, the merchant God Plutus clearly seems terrified of us and before we could even start the interrogation, he’s already on the defensive.

“Oi Plutus! Put my shit down and face your punishment. Any tables or chairs that get broken is going on your tab!”

(Plutus) “Malaka!”

‘Heh, even the bartender isn’t happy with this kid’

Menacingly and slowly approaching the kid who clearly tried to rig the final, me and Petra are struggling to hold back laughter despite the fact this shouldn’t be this funny. I nearly ended up impaled due to this kid wanting Ares to win that fight.

“Look okay… I’m sorry, jeez! I just wanted to make the show a little more entertaining so I couldn’t allow Zeus’s favoured son to be tossed around like a whore at a brothel. It’s the only way I could’ve made the contest fair!”

‘Favoured son my arse! We literally spoke to Zeus and found out he’s an idiot!’

“You’re lying”

Even Petra who naturally has wisdom instead of relying on an ability can see through that. At least what was funny a second ago is less so now with this runt trying to lie his way out of trouble.

“Damn it! It was Hera who put me up to it, alright? She offered me more money than you can imagine. You can’t blame a working fellow for accepting a bribe, right?”

‘Huh? Where did that come from? It seemed to be the truth’

So, the reason why the final was rigged was down to Zeus’s grey-haired wife wanting me to faulter? I know we had a brief interaction where she clearly showed distaste but to go about things this way? Something tells me Zeus had no knowledge on this as well if he’s known for not being subtle.

“What the hell have done to that old hag anyways!?”

“I don’t know demonic phoenix! Why do you think I’m hiding out over here? You two and the dragons are scary enough, Zeus’s wife has always been batshit crazy! Thankfully, she’s way too snobby to ever come to a commoners bar like this”

“I heard that Plutus! Just for that, I’ll make sure the prices in here are adjusted for only your expensive tastes. Can’t be paying the same prices as us commoners, right?”

“Malaka!”

Whatever the reason, it’s clear Hera hates our guts so best just try and avoid her for the time being. Once things become a little clearer, then I can get a little revenge of my own. For now though, we’ve still got this little pest to contend with.

“*Sighhh*…let’s just collect our winnings. Plutus, give my parents income as well so we can save them the hassle”

Not as if any of us even need it. Still got a roughly a carriage weight worth of gold in my storage and my parents will always have that overflowing pit hidden by our nest. It’s just the principle of it really.

“About that… your father did a lot of damage to the arena. If you look at the repair costs, it’ll take more than just his earnings as well”

…

“Heh, not going to stop you if you want to do something sinister Ikarus. Say, how powerful can you kick in bird form?”

‘Christ woman! Is she developing a thing for CBT or is she just messing around? I’m terrified for his own sake now’

“Hang on, hang on! Let’s not be going there, alright? I’ve seen what you did to that angel, I’ll happily sort out your winnings… minus some of the damages your father inflicted on the arena of course. It’ll only be a small portion, honest!”

…

“Petra… my leg is really starting to ache and needs a good kick”

“N-No reparation costs as well! This is going to make me broke but charity is good every now and then… wonder if I can write it off as tax relief”

In the end, we do manage to get our money after Plutus nearly bursts into tears about it. It’s less fun when he generally seems to fear for his life, not as if he won’t just revive like everyone else though.

Just before leaving however, Petra whispers something into my ear which unfortunately isn’t seductive. I’m not a fan of ASMR but I could be for her alone though.

“Ikarus… you forgetting something? Points? *Stomach grumbling*”

Oh yeah, I tell Petra everything so her knowing about me gaining points from Gods should now be obvious. I could kill this merchant God and get the chance to upgrade another ability… It’s not that appealing really.

Somehow, I still have some empathy and compassion despite the fact he probably deserves a beating, think it doesn’t help the fact he looks like a kid. Guess I’m just as hypocritical as my father.

Also, I swear that’s the first time I’ve heard Petra’s stomach growl. Maybe she’s hungry or had too much of that ambrosia crap as well.

“Urgh… I want to do it but I just can’t. The little brat cowering like this, kinda spoils the fun…”

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“Heh… you won’t believe me if I tell you this Ikarus”

After sorting out that business with Plutus, me and Petra return to wandering the agora in search of anything to do really. In truth, there’s not much of a romantic or sociable reason behind it, we’re mostly just roaming around because something is bound to come up if we do this, right? The tournament thing came up the same way.

“Try me. If this ends up being some cutesy but stupid way of saying you need to go toilet, I will be disappointed in you wifey”

“Heh, way to spoil the mood Ikarus, it’s not that. I… think I need to lay an egg”

…

“What the fuck!? When did you start laying again!? And that is kinda related to the toilet”

“Heh, I haven’t Ikarus. I’m not sure why but this bloated feeling I’ll never forget”

“You sure you just don’t need a big dump? It’s roughly the same feeling, ya know?”

“Heh, you really are crude at times. No Ikarus… it’s not the same feeling”

Look, I know I forget to talk about my tendency to lay butt eggs but I was trying to be considerate about it! Every time after a little phoenix on phoenix action, I need to go find a spot to change form and do the business. It’s a natural phenomenon and I can’t help it!

The wife who apparently stopped laying butt eggs hundreds of years ago suddenly feels the urge to start laying again? Does this mean she’s fertil-… no Ikarus, we never were fertile to begin with due to phoenixes biology being weird as fuck. This seems like a bigger deal than it probably is.

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---Egg, just egg...

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Might be excited due to the fact I can now store even more eggs for a rainy day when a gigantic omelette or cake is needed. Right now, I’ve got over a dozen huge eggs, all kept fresh and ready to prepare at a moment’s notice within storage. Most haven’t been eaten because I worry about the time when I stop pooping them out. If Petra’s started again, then my concern is no longer needed! Just first world phoenix problems folks!

“Well… let’s go find a place to lay together! All that feathery action and then… we can have an omelette feast!

“Heh, think that’ll have to wait Ikarus”

“*Huff*… why do annoying things happen to good people?”

Just as we’re about to do the most romantic thing I could imagine a couple of gay birds doing together, laying butt eggs side by side is my sort of romantic, that angel Uriel rushes towards us and stops us in our tracks.

“Please, you two must follow me this instant! I desperately need your help”

Despite having emotion in her voice, once again the stoic looking angel approaches me but this time around the wife gets to meet her as well. Even Petra seems a little unsure what to make of her and starts whispering to me.

“This the strange angel who is working with Asmodeus?”

“Yeah Petra, even now she’s still weirding me out a little… we need some context Uriel. What’s the problem and how can we help?”

Even while answering, her expressionless face still confuses me as you wouldn’t be able to tell she’s stressed at first glance. It’s just uncanny really…

“It’ll make more sense when we get there. Just make sure you’re ready and prepare for a fight…”