Reincarnated as a Phoenix

“Heh, just relax and forget about it Ikarus. It’s not worth huffing and puffing about”

“I don’t even know why I’m so pissed though… maybe it was the boldness of the proposal? The fact she did that knowing people are watching, did you somehow give me jealously or something?”

Now chilling in a bar while the wife gives me a calming head rub to chill the anger, I can’t help but still be fuming about that Freyja and what she did. Sure, I now know she’s somewhat related to love, at least how the Norse Gods view it but damn, I still want to rip her hair out!

“Heh, the only reaction I try to get out of you is fluster Ikarus. Whatever that was, that came from you. Thought you looked cute all worked up”

…

“*Sighhh*, at least you never change… huh. You know, that head rubbing might be better than se-”

“Heh… what was that Ikarus?”

“Nothing! Jeez… that was close…”

Oh, should probably mention the elephant in the room or the packed-out bar filled with patrons. You see, we’re in the interval process since the first round of fighting has now finished. I may have also skipped a few fights due to still being pissed, we’re out of the round of sixteen at least now.

The bar itself is literally filled with drunk and happy betters while us lovebirds and the parents wait around on some stools, guessing you don’t care about that. The four other fights of this round weren’t that interesting in all honesty, I’ll give a little detail but most were a little anticlimactic.

The first one, father basically one punched a God who looks like his entire intention was to take a dive in the first place. I guess the God of sleep, Hypnos, would be someone not wanting to do much but that looked so obvious. Swear I even heard more booing coming across Plutus’s announcements. At least if we ever need to find sleepy Megaera a partner, the God of sleep is available it seems.

In the second, the God of speed and apparently blonde curls Hermes, fought against the Goddess of the night Nyx, except both didn’t look to take it too seriously as well. Eventual winner was Hermes but I swear there’s some corruption going down here, I know these fights take bets but this seems pretty obvious, no?

The third one seemed a little more interesting, that being the hooded grim reaper Thanatos fighting against the blonde-haired angel Gabriel, the guy Petra decapitated back at that tavern. It was only interesting because if he hadn’t surrendered, he would’ve lost his head again. That hooded God of death’s sword skills look really decent, nothing like my wife but good enough.

The final fight for the round was a familiar face vs a not so familiar face, that being the God of war Ares against the sun God Helios. The red guy who gave Zeki his spear… heh, was eventual winner but not without taking a few hits in the process. By the sounds of it, Ares won this competition last year so he’s the guy to beat.

You know… I am questioning a little why Gods associated with the Underworld are even around up here. Thanatos, Nyx, Hypnos, even Hermes have myths related, it’s probably just Hades and Persephone who are refused entry though.

I’ll stop bringing up names in a second because this means literally nothing to anyone who doesn’t understand Greek myth, just I’m honestly fangirling the hell remembering all this crap. Slightly disappointed as well by the corruption going on but in this world, you’d probably expect it. Athens itself is the birthday of democracy, of course corruption would follow it like a plague. Politics in a nutshell folks!

Anyways, back to the present because I’m now as mellow as a marshmallow after receiving deadly head pats by the wife. Don’t mock it until you’ve had a good ol’head pat, they probably are as good as a good loin shakeup if you catch my meaning.

“Heh, be back in a minute Ikarus”

“Aww…”

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end as Petra clearly needs to go for a tinkle. Thankfully, there’s someone else who’s literally passing by who can capture my attention… kinda trying to ignore the parents because they seem to be having an intimate moment of their own right now… yuck! It’ll never feel natural seeing your parents kiss like this.

“Oh, you still haven’t explained why we’re even here yet Plutus. I mean this bar place in particular”

“Ah, don’t worry it so much contestant, just a world inside another world and will be removed once this competition is over… nice acting for the crowd on that proposal thing. It made the ratings go through the roof”

The young merchant looking God gives me an answer of sorts, all the while I can’t help but be distracted by the crowd following him around. I know they say money makes the world work but the amount of half-naked women following him around like a bad smell and he seems barely interested, it’s just an odd sight really considering how the guys acts and the fact he looks suspiciously young.

“Yeah… acting…”

“Hmph… as if little one needs to act for this show, God of shiny coins. That was genuine”

“That Viking woman really made Ikarus snap it seems”

And of course, the parents stop their little moment of intimacy to destroy their daughter’s reputation! Screw this, I’m stress eating peanuts now.

Thankfully, Plutus continues to roam around the bar leaving me to my own devices to now sulk and eat in my own created silence, he’s probably collecting bets thinking about it.

Strangely enough, someone has just stolen my wife’s seat as well. I could just say it’s taken but that requires effort… I’ll just sit on Petra’s lap when she gets back…

“Tsk…”

…

‘Are you fat or something? I’m giving you enough room so don’t nudge me’

“Tsk… Ikarus? Why are you ignoring me?”

Getting another nudge from the stranger, I quickly realize the person next to me is none other than that white haired angel Uriel trying to spark some conversation. I’m really not in the mood for a little demon hatred right now.

“If you’re here to call me and the wife disgusting like those other angels, I will destroy you where you stand… or sit”

“Relax demon lord, those idiots deserved everything that’s happened to them”

 As soon as I get a response, my interest in this person sparks up massively when even she seems to hold distaste towards the other angels. Her voice seems to show more emotion than her face because on the surface, she appears slightly stoic.

“I’m guessing you didn’t come over for a quick natter? What you want then?”

“Fair enough, I’ll get to it then. Just here to deliver a quick message from the other demon… Everything is going well and keep remaining patient, things will start getting clearer once this tournament is over. Right now, it’s imperative I don’t be seen…”

The angel surprisingly tries her best manly demonic impression but honestly just sounds like she’s taking the piss out of him, nearly making me laugh in the process. Would be pretty cute if the obvious fact Petra’s demonic father hadn’t been brought up like this.

“So… you, an angel, are in contact with that dickhead? Where the hell has he wandered off to?”

Instead of giving me an answer, the angel mysteriously disappears into the crowd, leaving me puzzled from that brief interaction.

‘What the hell was that all about? Eh, don’t care enough to follow her, think the next round is about to kick off in a little while as well…’

__________

“It’s now time for the second round so let the games continue! After schooling her opponent in the first round, the angel Uriel has a much tougher opponent being the world ender Kellearzar! Last chance to place your bets otherwis-…”

“Heh, you okay Ikarus? We can always go beat up that woman once this is over if you really want to”

Watching mother and the angel enter the arena again, Petra’s of course still worrying over something stupid like my sanity. Bitch please, I never had that to begin with. Bitch… please? Who the hell am I?

“Nah… I got over that when you went to piss… it’s just something that angel said to me when you were gone. She’s… weird”

I’ll tell Petra more about it later, just that woman gives me an unsettling feeling. It doesn’t help I now know she’s literally an angel working with a demon, you’d think that’s like the worst kind of sin to those lot.

“Heh, like our kind of strange? Or is it she’s just mysterious?”

“That’s the thing… I can’t quite put my finger on it”

Regardless, the quarter finals of this competition kicks off while I’m still trying to ignore the giant question mark on my face. Maybe I’ll get a little more when mother wipes the floor with her.

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The next fight kicks off with both contestants standing around… doing nothing. Seriously though, both seem to want the other to attack first.

“Come hither dragon and face my spear”

‘That’s what she said… I hate myself at times’

“You’ll have to come to me first angel”

And still, they stand waiting for the other to attack. Great entertainment for the masses this, no fighting at an event meant for fighting. At least they get a perfect unfiltered view of mother’s assets I guess, kinda want to destroy all the Gods who dare look though.

…

“Oh, for the love of Zeus! Will you two get on with it!? If you don’t, I’ll activate some of the hidden mechanisms we have down there for special occasions. Fight already!”

Plutus rightfully loses his mind when both of the fighters remain still, no idea what those hidden mechanism are but guess we’d rather not find out then?

Thankfully, the angel Uriel decides enough is enough and goes to charge mother down, all the while being as cautious as she can with that charge of hers. A stabbing attack does get off but mother just simply blocks it with the flat end of her sword.

Mother then precedes to counter slicing across the angel’s chest with her wooden blade, only missing by a hair strand as Uriel jumps backwards. Surprisingly, this is the first time I’ve ever witnessed mother using a weapon, she’s definitely not perfect but she’s not terrible considering dragons hate things like human tools.

‘Huh, never realized mother knows how to handle a sword that well… I just can’t stop myself today. That isn’t even dirty!’

Trying my best to get out an image of father’s ‘sword’ which I unfortunately had the burden of once seeing when I was a wee young phoenix, something else comes to the attention, thankfully removing that sinister memory.

“*Stomach growling*… damn”

“Heh, you getting hungry Ikarus?”

While happily watching along with the wife, my stomach betrays me but Petra fortunately gets the wrong idea. It turns out, a diet of meat, cake and ambrosia isn’t great for the gut and this appears to finally be my downfall. I’ve finally found a concoction that even this stomach can’t stomach.

“Yeah, that’s what this is… hunger”

‘I think I need to go on a diet or a detox, this really has come out of nowhere’

While I’m now worrying about the fact I may have taken something tainted, Aesa would probably inform me if I did though, I seem to have clearly missed a huge part of the fight when mother has somehow wrestled the angel to the floor and is basically bear hugging her now.

“You haven’t won this fight that easily, busty dragon”

“Give up now angel if you wish to continue breathing, you’re already in my grasp!”

I’m now having to look away for a different reason because this hand-to-hand combat has gone somewhere else. Somehow, Uriel is still being hugged with her head… right between mother’s breasts. I’m not making this up!

“Hmm… I’m thoroughly enjoying this battle. Hopefully, darling keeps this going for a little while longer… a good few hours should do the trick”

‘My freaking pervy father enjoying mother’s wrestling… I really need to moan about this now’

“Petr-…”

“No Ikarus. Heh… I won’t blind or deafen you, just put your fingers in your ears and look away”

The wife even knows when I’m going to make a joke and ruins it while father seems to be almost drooling! It looks like she was originally trying to choke her out after I’m guessing giving up on the blade, but this has turned way into something that it shouldn’t!

And like my pain isn’t bad enough, one of the buttons on mother’s shirt has to open right about now, and then another one does…

‘That’s it, I’m done, I’m forcibly skipping this fight. You can hate me but it’s for the greater good…’

__________

“And next up, we have something even I find slightly interesting... although that previous fight may end up being the crowds favourite this year. The ill-fated lovers of the world ending prophecy itself, will their love prevail or will they both destroy each other in the arena?”

‘He really is starting to get on my nerves now’

“It’s time to see the wedded phoenixes of fate fight in the arena! The demon lord of fate Ikarus, against her wife, the Goddess of gracefulness, Petra!”

‘Eh… feel a little better knowing he just praised the wife though’

In the end, mother won that wrestling match and now, it appears me and Petra have been drawn out the hat so to speak. I’m normally down for a good fight but something is really starting to play on my mind, other than the fact mother might’ve just become an Olympian idol.

“Heh, you okay Ikarus? You can’t be that hungry?”

“It’s not that Petra… kinda need to go to the toilet now”

That stomach growling was a sign of things to come, I can only hope we speed this fight up otherwise things may end up dangerous. I’m done with ambrosia forever; it’s really not meant for phoenix-demon lord consumption.

“Heh, you want me to take an early dive then Ikarus? Can make it look pretty convincing”

Obviously, Petra whispers that last bit but I still think we can be heard up there. Regardless, I still shake my head towards her, I may be at a disadvantage right now but it’s not like I’d want to miss a televised sparring session of ours.

(Plutus) “It’s time to fight!”

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Once the God gives the ready to go and we fully arrive back inside the fighting part, Petra immediately goes on the offensive, making my stomach churn even more. Was hoping she’d be at least a little considerate and not go full on gung-ho, guess it’ll be a challenge at least. Will I lose the battle with my wife or my bowels first?

Her wooden blade aims for my left side only to met by mine, also I make sure to give her a pushback kick in the process.

Still giving me no breathing space, Petra responds with speed that can only be matched with full concentration, one attack going for my shoulder and the next to my thighs. I manage to get both away in the nick of time but right now, I can’t even think about going for an opening. Damn it women, are you into tormenting me this much!?

We’d normally be a match for each other but the longer this goes on for, the more and more I really need to go. Only this bird could be the type of the person to get food poisoning right before an epic battle and ruin said battle.

“*Stomach growling*… sweet Jesus, give me strength”

“Heh”

She can’t help chucking at my misfortune when I mumble that last bit under my breath. I’m going to metaphorically tap out if I can’t find some way of defeating her within the next minute or two, I can’t keep this up any longer.

Another attack goes in and even ends up in a combo of three, each one having to make me twist and turn to block or avoid the barrage. In the end, I completely end up backwards, undefended and facing away from the wife…

Instinctively countering by swinging wildly behind me as this is the only thing I can do, the tip of my blade hits something while I’m just trying to not get dominated. She’s freaking relentless!

(Plutus) “Hang on… it appears we have an elimination by knockout! Can you believe it folks? Because I’m struggling too as well!”

“Shit! Petra… you alright?”

In my haste to just try and slow her down by doing that blind counter, the tip of my blade must’ve collided against her head! She’s completely down and out in the sand.

“Phewww… you really tug on my heartstring’s woman. Honestly thought I’d hurt you there”

“Heh… what was that Ikarus? I’m not completely sure where I am”

‘That was a complete lie for the crowd’

While still on the floor, Petra gives me the most subtle of winks while responding, clearly proving this was what she was aiming for. Maybe she slowed down the full force of my attack with her sword before it collided with her head? It matters little though, losing consciousness is an automatic disqualification and I’ve got something else I need to do, right now!

“Oi Plutus, open up the portal because I really need to go back into that world!”

“No can-do contestant, this round isn’t over yet so be patient and you’ll be let out in the next stage”

“*Stomach grumbling* Argh! Do you want me to spell it out idiot? You need to let me out asap, or your viewing numbers will drop to an all-time low…”

__________

‘Phew… I feel so much better already… and of course I’ve missed the next battle’

Getting teleported back down here after that hint was thankfully understood by Plutus, the next fight has already gotten on its way and I think I’ve basically missed the entire thing! Still don’t know what’s even in ambrosia but maybe it has something similar to caffeine? If you’ve ever drunk too much coffee before, then you may understand my blight…

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The next fight was supposed to be father vs Hermes but of course, basic biological needs have ruined this encounter for me. The fight is literally at its conclusion with father throwing the blonde-haired guy over his shoulder, then wrapping his arm around the guy getting him locked in a headlock.

Dragons are pretty good at hand to hand combat it seems, mother and father would be champions at MMA if it existed in this world.

“Hmph… you fought well, God of speed. Really gave these old bones a run out”

“Hehe, you too dragon of darkness. That poison attack in particular nearly got me”

‘Damn it, father’s even giving the guy praise and now helping him to his feet. I must’ve missed something spectacular… the muscle that guy has as well. It makes me hella jealous’

Just looking down at the arena, the place looks like it’s been hit by a tornado and a black moss has started to grow all across the sand. I’m not a hundred percent sure what’s caused it but the sand that’s ended up everywhere might’ve been Hermes’s speed. For the moss, maybe a biproduct from father’s poison?

(Plutus) “And after a dreadfully boring battle that could’ve put someone in a coma… we’re finally done with that dross. Honestly ancient dragon, do you think making a mess is entertainment?”

“Yes. Yes I do”

‘Eh, maybe I was wrong about the fight. Seemed interesting looking at the aftermath though’

Even though you can’t see him, it’s obvious Plutus just facepalmed behind that microphone of his as well.

“*Sigh*… now for the last fight of this round because I can’t be bothered to arrange another quick clean up… it’s time for the only Underworld contestant remaining. The grim reaper Thanatos, obviously with time off from his pressing schedule has to fight the overwhelming glory of the mad God of war Ares”

Within the crowd, the two quietest people, yet to make even a peep during these fights, get up and enter the arena. One of which has been hiding under his hood for most of these encounters, not entirely sure why but his complexion is definitely quite pale.

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“So… if it isn’t Hades’s lackey himself? How does it feel being a slave to that gravedigger?”

“I could say the same about you and your father, Olympian mutt. Has Zeus grown tired of your idiocy yet?”

Before the fight has even begun, you can already tell there’s extreme dislike between these two and that’s festering into these school yard like insults. It matters little though; blood is about to fly…

The fight kicks off with both of the men aiming straight for the opponent’s neck, only to be met with the clashing of wood as the attacks collide with each other midair.

Splinters fly across the arena as both the blades clash against each other again, both men not giving a care for safety and just wanting to destroy the other.

‘Damn… I’m really not looking forward to fighting any of these two’

Countless kamikaze attacks, continuing to get more and more relentless by the second until Thanatos lands a hit into the arm of Ares, except this only allows the God of war to counter getting a hit into the grim reaper… you know, is Thanatos even technically considered a God? I’m not too sure on that.

‘Hmm… maybe this might work? Status’

[<Nice thinking Ikarus but he can’t be scanned like the rest of the people up here>]

‘Fair enough… how are you enjoying the games anyway Aesa? You must be watching along, even with your split consciousness’

[<Aesa thinks it’s okay… you don’t have to do this Ikarus>]

‘Right, can’t forget you hate small talk’

While I’m slowly starting to miss my clone that might as well be my twin by this point, it looks like one of us watching on has something they need to get off their chest. Not exactly like you can take much off a chest that flat though.

“Sheeet… will you two idiots just kiss or fuck already? Everyone can tell this bullshit rivalry is fake as hell!”

A wild an idiotic Artemis emerges from our small crowd, clearly wanting this fight to go down the BL route. Thankfully, both of them remain fixated on destroying the other and not taking this down a route that would make me look away. Boy’s love is a sin and it must be purged! I’m obviously kidding, I’m still not going to go looking for any though.

“You really are unbelievable at times old friend”

“Hey, what’s your problem Uriel? I’m only saying what we’re all thinking!”

‘Anyone else getting Zeki vibes from this Goddess? She seems like an idiot’

While I’m clearly getting distracted by that stupid elf looking Goddess of the hunt, Ares catches a breakthrough, plunging his wooden spear right into the shoulder of Thanatos in an attack that can barely be seen by the eye. Keep in mind, it seems to only miss his heart by a few inches or so. I can’t even make a spear joke considering how deathly that hit could’ve been.

In spite of the damage done, the grim reaper still remains standing, obviously wanting to fight but dropping his weapon in that skirmish has made this an inevitable loss. He should probably focus more on the bleeding right now.

“Ares! We already told you, no lethal hits! Do you want to piss off the entire Underworld for the sake of your ego!?!”

“He’s fine Plutus… I think? A little blood never hurt anybody, right?”

Ares tries to pat the arm of Thanatos only to receive a deathly stare and a scoff back in his face. This fight is definitely over but clearly there isn’t any love lost between those two lovers… for fuck’s sake, Artemis has got me shipping them now!

“Every year, you come too close to breaking the rules Ares… it doesn’t matter anymore. This next round has concluded so let’s get you all out of there again…”