Reincarnated as a Phoenix

“Death to the horned bastard! Tear him apart!”

“Yeah, rip off his limbs and feed him to the dogs-, ah, no offense wolf-kin”

“No offence taken; this guy deserves a fate even worse than that. Give him to the pigs instead!”

“Hey! Just because we’ll eat mostly anything doesn’t mean we’ll eat the cannibal… it would be pretty fitting though”

‘Turns out, a city of beastkin are as stupid as humans, who’s have thought… status’

[Name: Beelzebub   |   Species: Demon   |   Level: 500]

[Health    162/83,333]

[Stamina 51,205/83,333]

[Magicka 0*/83,333]

‘You know Aesa, having an enchanted collar that stops magicka use sounds scary as hell. Is there any chance we’ll ever have to wear one of them?’

[<Fortunately for Ikarus and other phoenixes, that collar should be considered the same family as enslavement, similar to the empire’s slave crest. Aesa’s point being, you’ll be immune>]

‘Ah, thanks for that’

Located inside a huge crowd on the main high street alongside my party of six, today’s the day they’re executing the demonic cannibal and the turnout here is insane. It’s similar to how packed out the streets were when we had our wedding, impossible all have been personally affected by the demon’s hunger but I assume the affair is one to remember? Either that or they just love executing people in these parts.

That enchanted collar he has on, is something that was mentioned to me by that mermaid Pearl after Petra’s stupid tail suggestion. It’s commonly used for when mages break the law and versions of it even exist within the empire if you know where to look, not that we’ve found any. Maybe someday, we’ll have to get some if the mages misbehave but with Penelope ruling with an iron and deadly fist, it probably isn’t needed. I know for a fact mages that piss her off disappear and are never found again…

Oh, also want to know what else happened while we were there? Fortunately for my sake, not much other than her getting the execution ready within a day and Petra putting both the tails in her storage. I have literally no idea why she wants to bring them back but hey, happy wife makes a happy life… apparently.

The chances are, she’s keeping every outfit or costume I’ve ever worn, or will potentially wear somewhere safe and secure. Can you really put it past her being weird considering she technically was stalking me once upon a time? I think I’m going too far with this now but no way am I ever asking the why on things. I’d still love her regardless for being weird though, maybe even more which is strange…

“Heh, you sure you want to watch this Ikarus? Executions really aren’t that fun to be around”

“Strongly disagree sis, things like this are the best part of this world! Stop trying to make orangey boring and let her enjoy the show”

“Heh, even I agree with the red one on this. There is an oddly satisfying feeling watching someone being killed, even a brother no less”

“He-he, goblins definitely do executions the best! Especially the aggressive ones in big packs, they basically tear intruders apart! Even I’ve been killed by one before, they started ignoring me after the fourth death, but it was fun to begin with!”

‘Damn dryad and her stupid goblin fascination’

“Uh… huh? I think I’m just going to look away and cover my ears… that’s a horrible thought Ria”

Huh, I guess that party is evenly split on this. Us three good phoenixes don’t want to watch but I’m only doing it to make sure he doesn’t escape, of course the idiots and abuser are into watching people die. It’s nothing about the blood and gore I personally dislike, it’s just boredom more than anything else. I’d rather just kill the person on the spot to save time, delaying the inevitable really seems a waste even if the person is scum…

Damn, I’ve really become oddly professional when it comes killing, wonder why things have turned out like that? Regardless, I should probably answer my wife.

“I’d rather not watch this Petra but just making sure our job is complete. Once they finish the hanging section, that’s when we’re leaving, no buts kid”

That gets a scoff from Mr Obnoxious but seriously though, why would anyone want to watch him losing his limbs? This entire thing just gets more barbaric as time goes on.

Ah, this old medieval torture method basically has the criminal being drawn by horses, sometimes dislocating the limbs, but this guy just got dragged around town by camels. Then, hung to a point just before death, and lastly cut up into quarters, hence the name, to be being hanged, drawn and quartered. I’m guessing you didn’t want to know that but thank this brilliant bird for showing you the lovely world of medieval punishment. Or at least describing it.

By the looks and sounds of it now, they’re reading off the last rights to the cannibal since they have him up on the gallows. It won’t be long till he’s hanging, probably best for a quick distraction until this is over.

“Anyways… where are we going next demon? We shouldn’t be having to use bait again, right?”

That gets another scoff out of Zeki, at least it’s aimed towards the demon lord this time around.

“Heh, that won’t be necessary orange one, we’ll be heading to the Sierran Empire capital next… looks like they’re mostly done with the preparation”

Continuing on with the execution, now putting the noose on the demon Beelzebub’s neck, five of us continue to watch on but Ariza clearly doesn’t like this sight. It’s funny how she’s more than happy to blind him, shooting two arrows into his eyes rather than just this. I guess adrenaline and combat does have that effect on you.

“Hey Ariza… how did that lunch go with the wyvern prince?”

Using this topic as another good distraction, she immediately starts to blush when I ask that. Something happened on that date, I won’t press too much… I really want to know though…

“Uh, do you promise not to mock me about it?”

“When have I ever mocked you Ariza?”

“Not you Ikarus… the other red person among us”

At least there’s no reason for me to be offended then, as if I’m going to mess with her. Of course, Zeki’s not going to agree to stop any stupidity so I’m not sure why she even asked.

“I’ll try brother, but if that blue idiot did anything worth mocking, then it must be done. That’s just how the law of the world works”

“Uh huh, whatever Zeki… we went to that café over there Ikarus and both ordered a salad, a tart and some water. Can’t remember specifically what was said but we spoke for a lonnggg time, and then something else happened”

(Ikarus) “What happened Ariza?”

“We uhhh… kissed a little, or a lot”

The rest of us phoenixes are gob smacked by this! Sweet, little innocent Ariza, she literally kissed the puppy like prince on the first date! I’m freaking jealous of how easy she’s made it look, that took me and Petra ages!

“Damn it brother, that little fucker is going to get it! Next time we meet, he’s going to get my fist and orangey’s falcon kick”

‘This idiot is now deciding who I kick?’

“No Zeki, I kissed him first! He uh… didn’t know what to do, I think it was his first time? He seemed to like it though and then we… continued for longer”

‘My dear God, our lovely blue phoenix might as well be purple due to how red she is! She’s just as priceless as the puppy’

“Erk, that flying rat has corrupted you brother, I know it!”

“Heh, I’m guessing you two will keep in contact via message bird then? Just ask if you need some help sending any over Ariza”

“Uh huh Petra, I will. He said he might come visit the islands someday but helping his father takes up a lot of time… oh no, I’m definitely looking away now”

The penultimate moment before the demon gets hung and by the looks of it, the guards are giving him one last moment before pulling the lever. It almost feels like we’re watching a western now. Considering I didn’t want to watch this, I can’t keep my eyes away, it’s oddly intriguing.

“Do you have any last words, foul creature who has harmed so many souls, before we let you fall?”

“…”

“Is it your intention to remain completely silent, mute as a mouse? Is there any sympathy and remorse running through those blackened veins or yours?”

The time around, the demon does respond…

“I’ve made the mistake of conversing with prey before… not again. All of you, are nothing but steaks of flesh, ready to be consumed”

…

Huge gasps spread throughout the crowd as he demon’s final statement shocks everyone, even the guard alongside him a little, no remorse whatsoever. The crowd isn’t having it though, booing like their lives depends on it and even starting to throw objects like rocks and coins at the criminal.

“Booooo! Start cutting him up already!”

“Yeah, give him a taste of his own medicine! Fuck that cannibal up!”

“All of you, stop throwing things already! That blasted rock just hit me… you can let him fall now”

And so, one of the guards gives the all ready to go and the crowd’s booing turns into an uproar of cheers when the demon starts to hang. Turns out, I really don’t want to watch this part either so best just man up and get through it. Once they start on the quartering section, that’s our cue to go…

__________

“Heh… really Ikarus? Anywhere in the capital you could’ve teleported to and, you just so happen to pick this place?”

“Don’t knock orangey’s tastes sis, even I’d rather hang around inside a brothel rather than an execution. Hookers are always the best company”

“He-he-he… say that again girly boy and we’re extending your sentence to a year. Loki can get some more, right Ariza?”

“Uh huh Ria, I think he’s got twenty or so spare at the moment. He was making a batch and got carried away”

“Erk… I-I’ll just be q-quiet then”

“Heh, you should just stay female red one. It’s better for everyone’s sake”

“Fuck off demon”

Arriving in the capital after now knowing that demon lord is dead, I’m getting scolded for returning to that red light district we’ve been many times before, it has literally nothing to do with the brothel! It’s that bar I was picturing, the one we spent time with Jekyll inside…

[<Should Aesa tell our wife what Ikarus was really picturing? Those two fighting workers Ikarus seems reluctant to forget>]

‘Really Aesa? Must you start shit stirring? It was a vivid memory, as if I could forget two busty women fighting stark naked in the street! One of them even ended up being the hooker Zeki hired, it’s not exactly something easy to forget’

[<Aesa was only being sarcastic Ikarus>]

‘Well don’t. Dry, sarcastic humour is the thing our wife does… sighhh. I’ve decided, I think you’re the reason I hate myself’

[<Correction, Aesa hates Aesa as much as Ikarus hates Ikarus… or pretends to hate anything. It works both ways>]

‘True dat…’

“…It’s just the bar Petra, where else am I going to teleport to? The palace? The brothel means nothing to me!”

Unfortunately, Petra doesn’t believe me and thinks it’s now the perfect opportunity to try being dumb. Why the hell do I love her so much? She’s the bane of my existence!

“Heh, of course Ikarus. Sometimes I feel like you may favour large breasts too much, almost as if I’m not big enough for you”

Instead of just doing a normal tease, nooo. My wife has to subtly lean forward and put her elbows together, obviously trying to get my ‘divided’ attention elsewhere by making hers appear somewhat bigger...

Huh, I’m surprised I even noticed that, I normally would play along and let her make me flustered, but we’re in a group right now damn it! She probably does have a point about the breast’s thing but if she didn’t experience so much pain, I’d be obsessed with them. I wouldn’t even want Petra to have huge boobs, honest! The perfect size is the size you can grab and get most of the boob within your grasp… this is why I try to avoid talking about my tastes.

“Yeah yeah, whatever woman… Asmodeus, you going to tell us where the next demon is then? I’m going to be pissed if we’re heading to another slum like region again”

Main reason being him doing his own little thing and not informing us again, that incident with Zeki has basically destroyed any trust or favour we were gaining with the know it all.

“Heh, this should be much easier this time orange one. We’ll have to first speak with your friends the emperor and empress since they’ll know where he is”

As soon as Asmodeus says that, I get a playful pout from Petra making me shake my head, guess I could’ve saved time teleporting there straight away but lack of information once again! This demon lord could’ve easily told me where to go but he didn’t, always blame Asmodeus really.

‘Finally returning to the palace after what feels like a lifetime… guess I could squeeze in some quick inventory management… ah, also need to buy a load of cakes as well beforehand…’

__________

“Greetings to everyone, one has been looking forward to seeing thous again. It has been too long”

Sitting on the empress’s throne not alongside her husband for a change, the dragon Esmerelda says hello to us all in her strange little way, always with the thous and ones. Dragons, or ex dragons do seem to love using one, both father and Asmodeus do the same exact thing as well as Esmerelda so it’s not that impossible to deal with. Just, she uses one for herself rather than others.

“Alright Esmerelda? Where’s the bastard at today?”

“Heh, guessing he was here but is now hiding from us?”

Responding in the most casual way I can possible, every guard in the room but one seems shocked by me and Petra doing this. That one guard just so happens to be Nathan, he seems to be trying to act professional so no point going over to bother him. Surprised he’s assigned to the empress and not the emperor today, thought that is how they always do it but guess not.

“Des says he’s working on important matters so hasn’t got the time to meet face to face. Personally, one agrees with statement thou maske, one thinks he’s hiding from thous due to the heir matter”

Heir matter? Oh, this whole stupid thing about giving me and Petra the empire once the emperor and empress departs this life. If we weren’t busy looking for the next demon lord, I’d happily look around to go kick his arse but if he’s happy to piss away his empire like this, then whatever floats his boat. It’s not like he’s going to live forever… unless we try giving him that chalice we obtained from Ria? Eh, that’s conflicting, it probably won’t work but why would I want a guy who’s pissed me off to live forever?

(Petra) “Heh, looks like that idiot has made a smart decision for a change. Now, onto the reason we’re here, we’ve been told you may know where a demon lord is?”

“Thou is looking for the demon lord? May one ask why?”

Quickly looking to Asmodeus, he doesn’t say or show any hint this isn’t okay to do so, but it still doesn’t feel like a good idea revealing to the world I’m trying to became a lord myself. Best just leave it somewhat vague and see if the dragon can pick up the pieces.

(Ikarus) “We’re here for a horn, please don’t ask why because it’s a long story”

“Thou wants his horn? One is most intrigued but knows best not to question matters further. Regardless, both one and Des will be willing to help, follow one along to the dungeons and we’ll fetch him”

That… actually helps more than Esmerelda can imagine, I was worrying this may be a pain in the arse but having friends in high places really helps. Dragons are always brilliant, even if they can have their quirks.

“Uh… I’m going to stay up here if that’s okay. Prisons really aren’t my thing”

As we’re heading to the dungeon being led by the empress, it doesn’t take a lot for the sensitive bird to speak her mind on this. I think that execution has done her in for the day now, no point forcing Ariza to go where she’s uncomfortable so we just give her a quick nod.

After a few turns past some corridors in the palace, we all come to a dark staircase leading down to a thick wooden door. Esmerelda quickly gets the door and leads all into the basement of the palace…

“Huh… this is really unexpected”

While we’re heading into the dungeon itself, just as the stench of blood and metal hits the senses, Asmodeus starts to mutter something under his breathe. We’ll question him on this later but for now, just trying not to feel sick is the best course of action, the place reeks.

This prison is exactly how brutal how you’d imagine it looking as well.  Stained blood along the walls, steel bars keeping the cells tight and compact, obvious signs of torture from the equipment and chains all over the walls as well. The strange thing is, only one prisoner has this entire place to himself right now.

I once heard the old princess, the women me and Petra turned into a gore fest apparently used this place daily. It’s less intimidating than I thought it would be but still, it still is a hellhole though.

“Shit”

Asmodeus has a face of pure shock when he witnesses the next of his brothers behind bars, shackled and collared in chains and metal.

Once upon a time, this brown-haired demon would’ve been quite the looker but now seems more animal than man, at least if his facial expression is anything to go by. Even just from the fact he has rare orange eyes, something even I don’t have despite being orangey, he’s basically just a caged beast now.

----------

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‘Status’

[Name: Leviathan   |   Species: Demon Lord   |   Level: 1,000]

[Health    133,334/166,666]

[Stamina 130,521/166,666]

[Magicka 0*/166,666]

‘Leviathan, huh… guess he’s got one of those magicka collars on as well. Pretty sure this was the one supposed to be filled with jealously or envy? I guess he’d be pretty envious of anyone outside these bars right now’

“A-Asmodeus? Is that… you? Look at you all smug on the other side of those bars! If it wasn’t for this flimsy human metal, I’d be wringing your nec-”

“Quiet prisoner! Don’t speak unless spoken to or, you’ll be getting the shock magic again”

“…”

Instantly quieting down his anger due to the abusive guard, obviously this guy’s existence has been hell down here. It’s surprising they’ve kept him alive and well for so long, it seems like a waste of food and personnel, no?

“During the demonic invasion, this demon lord led the forces into battle, then into turmoil. Thou really was incompetent, ended up begging for mercy when thou found thouself inside one’s bite. Would’ve reluctantly bitten down if not surrendered, demon blood is sinister”

‘Heh, just dragons being fussy eaters again’

The demon oddly enough stays quiet from Esmerelda’s story, not showing any hostility at all towards the empress. He either doesn’t hate her or has been ‘tamed’ so much by the guard, he knows it’s not a good idea.

(Petra) “Why spare him, even now though?”

“One believes in intelligence over stupidity. Thou was stupid enough to attack human capital yet shows intelligence when surrendering, would’ve felt wasteful. Despite Des wanting him dead already, one won that argument convincingly”

I’m pretty certain the dragon is misusing the word intelligence for cowardice but, not going to question her further on this. It turns out, Desmond was the more blood thirsty one out of the couple, surprisingly strange considering how we met. That pirate fleet that was destroyed due to Esmerelda’s wrath if you remember how epic our introduction was long ago.

The odd apart about this is Asmodeus, he’s looking more and more concerned by the second.

‘Why is he looking so concerned with this situation though? All we need to do is snap of his horn and be done with him, right? Where’s the issue?’

[<Maybe demon was expecting a different target to be in prison Ikarus? Or potentially, he was friends with said demon?>]

‘Maybe, but that greeting from Leviathan didn’t sound friendly…’

“…Yo Asmodeus, were you expecting someone else to be here?”

It doesn’t matter if we share with Esmerelda at this point, I want to know what the issue is right now. Bluntness is the only way.

“Yes orange one, originally Lucifer should’ve died in the invasion and we would’ve been brought to his body. We come here to collect his horn and that would’ve opened up the path to find and kill Leviathan, this path wasn’t predicted at all”

“Try killing me Asmodeus and I’l- argh!”

“Quiet prisoner!”

Pressing a button on his belt, the guard activates presumably what is a shock feature to that magicka removing collar and he drops to his knees. Would almost feel sorry for the demon if most of them weren’t like this.

“So wait a second, we’ve come across another future that wasn’t predicted Asmodeus? What the hell do we do next then?”

“…?”

Instead of getting an answer, the fucking demon just shrugs his shoulders at me! I seriously doubt he has no idea but for fuck’s sake, I was right about this future thing screwing us over again someday! Instead of grumbling and moaning, might as well pay attention to this current situation and focus what I need presently though.

“*Sighhh*, regardless, let’s just get this guy’s horn already and be gone”

“If any of you dare touch one of my horns, I’ll fuc- ARGHHH!”

The demon this time around screams and collapses again from the shocking, guessing he really doesn’t want to lose his lordship then. Can’t say I blame him because it’s not exactly like he has anything to live for in that cell of his, his demonship is probably his last hope for breaking free. Not that destroying his hope will affect me in the slightest though, I’m taking his horn.

(Guard) “Empress Esmerelda, do the VIPs have permission to extract a horn from the prisoner? I’ll have to get my equipment ready to go if necessary”

“One gives permission… just make sure thou’s screaming doesn’t echo throughout the palace”

“Yes your majesty…”