Chapter 33 - Scar Left on the Left Hand (5)
Chungrim cursed under his breath and grabbed his penis again, pushing it into the hole. The reddened entrance didn’t stretch easily. Perhaps it was the uncomfortable position. Chungrim lowered Sung-kyung’s thigh from his shoulder and repositioned his thin body under the dressing table. Sung-kyung swayed helplessly in response to his movements.Standing Sung-kyung in front of the mirror, Chungrim pulled him close, his erect, dark-red penis brushing between the soft buttocks. Chungrim frowned and hurriedly pushed his penis in.“Ugh,”To avoid screaming, Sung-kyung quickly covered his mouth.“Why.”Chungrim pulled his hand away and brought his lips close to Sung-kyung’s ear. His sticky breath pressed directly against the earlobe. His penis slid in more smoothly than before.“Ah, ugh—.”“Feeling nauseous doing it with me?”The lotion, applied thickly, oozed around the entrance. Clumps of lotion began to fall and run down Sung-kyung’s thighs. As the tight entrance swallowed half of the shaft, Chungrim thrust his hips sharply upward. Sung-kyung’s body bent forward, the muscles tightening above his buttocks. Chungrim reached around from behind and supported Sung-kyung’s chest, continuing to thrust his hips.“Do it. I’ll take it.”Chungrim’s laughter sent a faint vibration inside. He probably said it, thinking Sung-kyung wouldn’t remember anything. But for Sung-kyung, who vividly recalled the wind, Chungrim’s expression, and the scent of the shabby rooftop from that conversation, it was just arousing. Overwhelmed by the intense pleasure, Sung-kyung tightly closed his eyes.“Ugh, uh!”Sung-kyung’s wet thighs clenched and unclenched behind him. His frail body kept pushing forward, forcing Chungrim to fully embrace him.“Open your eyes.”“Haa….”Chungrim whispered into Sung-kyung’s ear, one eye tightly shut. As Chungrim exhaled deliberately roughly, Sung-kyung’s eyelashes fluttered.“Hurry up. Open your eyes.”At the repeated command, Sung-kyung trembled and forced his eyelids open. The only light came from a small lamp above the mirror. The shaking dressing table and the perfume bottles on it clinked together, creating a noise.“You see?”Sung-kyung lifted his weak hand, clinging to Chungrim’s strong arm supporting him. The vigorous thrusting and circling movements inside drove him crazy. Flashes of light flickered before his eyes repeatedly.“Ah, yes… yes.”“Look closely. See how much you’re feeling with my cock.”“Ugh.”“Your body remembers everything.”Forcing his excited gaze to the mirror, Sung-kyung saw his flushed face, unfocused eyes, and erect nipples under the thin pajamas, stained with wet patches. His skin, visible through the fabric, seemed to crawl with invisible bugs.Unable to look at himself any longer, he slowly raised his gaze. His eyes met Chungrim’s, far above. The intense gaze pinned him in place.Squish, squish. The wet sound from their connection didn’t stop. Sung-kyung felt Chungrim’s cock swell and harden to its limit, prodding deep inside him. He too felt the impending climax building again.“Hyung, I think I’m going to come.”“Yeah.”A laugh followed Chungrim’s reply.“What about you?”“Ah, slowly….”“Seeing you get me so horny. Are you satisfied?”Back when Chungrim only cared about satisfying his urges, he had some rules. No noise. No movement. No touching. No showing his face. Those rules were long gone.If he tried to follow those rules now, Chungrim would probably hate it. The depth and changes in their relationship felt through their entire bodies. Sung-kyung shut his eyes tightly. Without seeing the bugs crawling on his body, the pleasure was even more intense.“Yes, ah, it feels good. Ugh!”Twisting his waist, he threw his head back. His head hit Chungrim’s solid shoulder. Splat, white semen splattered on the dressing table and mirror. Sung-kyung lowered his excited gaze. The mirror was streaked with flowing semen, reflecting Chungrim’s aroused face. He bit his lower lip and tightened around Chungrim’s penis.“Ah, fuck….”Chungrim’s hands gripping Sung-kyung’s waist and chest tightened, and then his semen poured out. The inner walls twitched, absorbing the semen. Despite ejaculating, Chungrim’s swollen penis showed no sign of subsiding. Every thrust sent shivers through his body.“Ugh, ah, ugh—.”“Sung-kyung.”Hearing Chungrim call his name, Sung-kyung lifted his weary head. Their eyes met again through the mirror. Chungrim’s bloodshot eyes held him in a firm grip.Sung-kyung matched Chungrim’s thrusts, lowering his hips to take him deeper. The wet sound persisted, never stopping.Staring intently at Chungrim in the mirror with blurred vision, Sung-kyung thought his safest place was in Chungrim’s hands. He could live forever without memories as long as he had Chungrim.“So this is what I looked like, damn.”Muttering, Chungrim’s lips made a sticky sound as they nibbled on Sung-kyung’s earlobe. Their eyes and bodies remained locked together, as if they would never part.***The season had completely changed, and the temperature of the air shifted. Without sunlight, the sharp, chilly wind made shoulders shiver. It was the middle of winter, with occasional snowflakes falling. The harsh cold endured in the Red Mansion was no longer felt.The house was always warm, warm enough to melt away the icy remnants of emotions between them. That warmth allowed a tender sprout of hope to grow in Sung-kyung’s dry, barren heart—the hope of giving Sung-kyung a new life.Of course, Chungrim had hesitated for a long time, worrying that Sung-kyung might abandon him for a chance at a normal life. But he was determined to do it anyway. He was not like the twin who had suffocated and trapped Sung-kyung.Now, Sung-kyung would get something he had never had before: a resident registration number and a normal life. It was something his parents should have provided, but it was now being arranged by a lawyer and Chungrim. These days, such things could be sorted out in less than half a year, but Chungrim was too impatient to wait and had already bought a car for Sung-kyung, parked in the garage, even though he didn’t have a license.The demolition of the Red Mansion had only just begun. Even so, about thirty percent of the residents had already moved out, with most promised jobs at the hotel to be completed in two to three years. The demolition would likely be finished before the hot summer when Sung-kyung and Chungrim first met.And today, a new resident was moving into the already vacant Room 109 of the Red Mansion.“Put him in Room 109. That’s the old man’s house.”Even though the mayor had intervened, it still took two months to get the quack doctor out. He would probably wander around aimlessly, dreaming up nonsense, or try to leech off the twins. He would never have imagined ending up back in the detested Room 109 of the Red Mansion.― Yes. If we leave before 8, we should arrive around 10.
“Right. Don’t go easy on him just because he’s old. Do it properly.”― Of course.Chungrim hung up and checked the time. It was still before dawn, but there was much to be done. He opened an old phone he no longer used and saw it was full of messages from his brothers.It wouldn’t be hard for his brothers to find out where he lived. The fact that they hadn’t come looking probably meant their interest in Sung-kyung had waned a bit. But it was too soon to be relieved. Chungrim skimmed the messages and, instead of replying, turned off the phone and tossed it back into the drawer.Next, he pulled out a tablet and turned on the screen. In one of the split screens swallowed by darkness, he focused on the bedroom where Sung-kyung slept. In the middle of the large bed was a slight mound of blankets. Sung-kyung lay within, not stirring. Chungrim had to stay vigilant, never knowing when he might lose this again.Chungrim spent a long time tracing his silhouette before pulling up the surveillance footage. The video showed Sung-kyung in the living room with the cat while Chungrim was briefly at work. Mero, who was usually timid and wary, sat beside Sung-kyung and eagerly reacted to the dangling stick he waved.Chungrim watched Sung-kyung’s face, barely visible but with cheeks lifted as if he were smiling. Watching them play had become Chungrim’s joy. Mero seemed to like Sung-kyung, and Sung-kyung adored the cat. Within his shadow, they were at peace. Through this scene, Chungrim found a quiet comfort, something his brothers had tried to fill with money but never truly provided.“Look at them, playing so well together.”He watched the five-minute video repeatedly, then checked on the sleeping Sung-kyung. This ritual continued until dawn broke and Sung-kyung awoke.***“You don’t take off your hat during the consultation, right?”“No. They told me not to.”Chungrim nodded, satisfied with the obedient response. When the car stopped at a red light, he naturally reached out and pressed his palm firmly around Sung-kyung’s left wrist, as if staunching a wound.Sung-kyung glanced down and adjusted his hat, feeling Chungrim’s grip on his wrist, which no longer bled or felt warm. Chungrim seemed unaware of what he was doing.“There.”Sung-kyung pointed out the window towards the Red Mansion. A tattered red banner hung limply, and the area was crowded with thuggish-looking men. Having worked in the back alleys for so long, the men working for Boss Sung were all rough. Weakened by drugs and accustomed to errand-running, the residents would find it hard to deal with them.“People are gathered again.”“Why. Does it bother you?”Chungrim’s gaze towards the people near the Red Mansion was fierce. Was there someone Sung-kyung might know?“No, it’s just strange because I lived there for so long.”“So, what? Don’t you want it torn down?”“No.”There was nothing left at the Red Mansion for Sung-kyung to reminisce about. His parents, the store, the house—all were gone. He wouldn’t miss it even if the building was demolished tomorrow. It was just odd to witness the downfall of a place he had lived all his life.“Why do you keep looking at it? Keep staring, and I might just run into it.”After a while, Chungrim’s sharp words broke his gaze. The grip on his left hand tightened.“…I won’t look.”Sung-kyung quickly turned his eyes away, and at that moment, the light changed, and Chungrim accelerated. They should hurry up and demolish it. Why was the hospital route only through here? This was the first consultation after changing counselors, and he already didn’t like it.“After the hospital, let’s eat out.”Perhaps because he had turned away from the mansion, Chungrim’s voice soon softened. Sung-kyung quickly nodded.“Okay.”“Think about what you want to eat. Something expensive. We’ve been skimping lately.”“Alright, I’ll think about it.”Even though Chungrim said that, it was part of his routine. Likely due to the doctor’s comments about Sung-kyung’s nutritional status, Chungrim meticulously checked his meals, medications, supplements, and weight. Though he had gained weight compared to before, it still didn’t seem to satisfy Chungrim.“Looking at you now, you really don’t fit in there.”Chungrim, tapping the steering wheel with his index finger, suddenly made this remark.“What?”Sung-kyung was dull yet sparkled, faint yet intense. It was frustrating that it took him two years to notice Sung-kyung behind the messy hair and cash register.Chungrim had been watching Sung-kyung so closely, why hadn’t he thought to look in that direction sooner? Why hadn’t he been interested in the warmth hidden beneath the crappy apron? If the memories Chungrim had hammered into Sung-kyung were real and not lies, maybe both of them would have been a little less crazy.“Maybe he hid himself there on purpose.”To avoid being seen. Sung-kyung might have been placed in the most rundown and shabby place. Maybe it was the limping drug addict who hid him, or his brothers who thought money could solve everything. Or Sung-kyung’s parents, who hadn’t even registered his birth.But in the end, Chungrim found Sung-kyung. Found him and kept him by his side.“No way I wouldn’t find him. Right?”Sung-kyung nodded, not understanding Chungrim’s muttering. It was blind agreement. As a result, both of them found a semblance of peace.It hadn’t been long since they started taking medication and therapy, but the therapist had already changed twice. At first, there were no such comments, but when the therapist subtly suggested Sung-kyung should reclaim his memories, Chungrim got angry and switched the center altogether.Under Chungrim’s watchful eye, Sung-kyung had been weaned off the medication and showed no signs of craving. Although the doctors recommended long-term psychological treatment for depression, Chungrim saw no need for it. Forgotten memories shouldn’t matter if they were forgotten. Why insist on recovering lost time?Chungrim had heard many times that it was better to take a long-term approach to treat lingering depression. But he had no intention of including memory recovery in the treatment. Couldn’t they heal the mind with the comfort of the present rather than looking back at the past? He was finding healing that way himself.If the new therapist also insisted on memory recovery, Chungrim would cut them off too. Sung-kyung didn’t need memories of being threatened by the twins or losing his parents in vain. A peaceful day spent by Chungrim’s side—that was enough.“Mr. Sung-kyung, please come this way.”Unless by some coincidence Sung-kyung’s memories returned, Chungrim had no intention of shortening that time.“Go on.”“Yes.”Sung-kyung adjusted his hat and glanced at Chungrim. The second sofa from the left, parallel to the right arm and piled with magazines. He wanted to remember the last look in case Chungrim went somewhere during the 50-minute session. After carefully observing Chungrim, he entered the consultation room.Chungrim, crossing his legs, began to count the time. Only a minute had passed since Sung-kyung went inside, but Chungrim kept checking his wristwatch. The scars, now all healed, were tightly concealed under the watch strap.When the session ended, it would be exactly on time, so he had to hurry. From what he had observed, Sung-kyung had never refused a session or run out. For now, this was the best place to leave Sung-kyung. Nobody seemed interested in him.After two minutes, Chungrim stood up.He got into the car parked near the entrance and sped off, heading back to the Red Mansion he had passed on the way to the hospital. It took 15 minutes to get there. Not much time. Scratching his eyebrow, Chungrim parked at the familiar back gate and took something out of the glove box, slipping it into his pocket.With so many people gone, the mansion felt even colder and more desolate. He crossed the familiar corridors and passed the shop without a glance, heading straight for Room 109. The door was wide open, and there were loud noises from inside.“You’re here.”The people in the living room stood up to greet Chungrim. From the closed room came the sound of someone screaming in agony.“The old man sure has a strong voice.”“He got beat up pretty bad, but he’s all talk.”Laughing, Chungrim waved them away. They bowed and left Room 109. Chungrim opened the door to what had once been a hospital room, surgery room, and consultation room. After the doctor’s gang fled, only the corpses had been cleared; the rest was left as it was.“Long time no see.”“…Who are you, who?”The old doctor, nervous and shouting, had a face full of cuts, bruises, and blood.“Oh, you can’t see.”Chungrim untied the necktie covering the doctor’s eyes. The doctor’s swollen eyes blinked a few times before focusing on Chungrim.“You, damn—”“Doc, did you perform the surgery well back then?”Chungrim’s grin made the doctor tremble. He writhed, his tied arms twisting, face flushing with anger.“Damn it, you bastards! Taking turns! You called the cops, didn’t you?”“Feel wronged?”Chungrim flicked the doctor’s cheek with his fingers. The doctor winced, the wounds on his face making him flinch with each touch.“You trash…”“I feel wronged too. Because of you, I ended up hurting an innocent person.”“You bastard, go to hell!”“If anyone feels wronged, it’s me and Sung-kyung.”The conversation went nowhere. Chungrim shrugged and pulled a heavy chain from his coat pocket. It hung down, clinking as it unraveled.“He went completely mad because of you.”“You crazy bastards! I’m sick of you!”“You tied him up for no reason. You don’t even treat dogs like that nowadays.”Chungrim, looking annoyed, reached behind the doctor and chained his already bound wrists, just like he had done with Sung-kyung.“What the hell! Untie this, you bastard!”The doctor struggled, causing the chains to rattle noisily. Chungrim tied the chain to the shelf handle at the head of the mattress. He checked the tension on the chain, ensuring the handle wouldn’t come loose.“Was it four days?”“Untie this, now!”“The people you left here.”Back then, Chungrim used to visit every four days, so the doctor must have escaped in between those visits.“I didn’t bother cleaning the mattress. The bed you’re sitting on—everyone who was here died. You killed them.”“You, you bastard!”The doctor, horrified by this fact, thrashed around and shouted. He tried to get up, but with his hands tied behind him and chained, he fell back onto the mattress.“Even if your brothers had your back, you would have been caught by me anyway.”Chungrim’s smile widened as he slapped the doctor’s flushed cheeks. The confinement had taken its toll, leaving the quack doctor’s face hollow and sunken.“I’ll see you in four days.”“You three brothers are all the same! All of you should die!”“I feel a bit insulted being compared to them. They acted like they’d support you till the end but abandoned you. I, on the other hand, am still taking care of you. Right? Isn’t that different?”Whatever money the brothers had promised or how much they had offered, the doctor was abandoned while he was in prison and ended up back here, in Chungrim’s hands. That’s what happens when you chase money.“See you if you’re still alive.”Chungrim waved his large hand and turned away. There was no chance the doctor would survive until his next visit. If he could have endured, he wouldn’t have been brought here. Chungrim called out to the men by the entrance of Room 109.“Nail it shut.”“Yes, sir.”Chungrim knocked on the closed door. Despite his soft tone, his voice was full of mockery.“It might get noisy with the nailing, so bear with it, okay?”In response, the doctor screamed in desperation. Chungrim deliberately scrunched his eyebrows and covered one ear.“I’ve already informed Mr. Sung, so just leave it.”“Understood.”Mr. Seong, who had experience with dirty work, understood the situation well. Room 109 would be the last room to be vacated, and the space would eventually become the lobby of a new hotel, a place trampled by many.Chungrim checked the time. Only 20 minutes left. It would take 15 minutes to get back to the hospital. He inhaled sharply through his teeth and quickened his pace.“Can’t be late.”His shoes echoed sharply down the hallway. Unlike when over 600 people swarmed like insects, a cold draft now flowed through the rundown, musty Red Mansion.He rounded a corner and passed the store. The tightly shut ice cream freezer and cash register were visible. The well-worn spots had paint peeling off. He remembered the taste of the ice cream he used to eat here. Why was it so delicious? He wondered. Perhaps because it was sold by Sung-kyung.“……”He glared at the words “Store No. 3” written on the wall. This place doesn’t belong to you anymore, Sung-kyung. You won’t be coming here. The store, which had more time spent with Sung-kyung than even Chungrim, annoyed him just by existing. If there was time, he’d want to demolish it. But Sung-kyung might be waiting. Chungrim hurried towards the back gate.He checked his watch dozens of times while driving. Time moved quickly towards the hour. Maybe Sung-kyung felt the same. Sung-kyung had rarely missed calling on the hour when instructed to. He realized anew that the consistent calls were due to Sung-kyung’s complete focus and dedication.He had to repay that attention and care. Chungrim pressed harder on the accelerator. He couldn’t make Sung-kyung anxious or keep him waiting.He arrived at the hospital in time and sat back in his previous spot. Would Sung-kyung notice he had moved? It was a relief he had remembered the exact spot. Shortly after, the consultation room door opened, and Sung-kyung emerged, hat pulled low.The first thing Sung-kyung did was check to see if Chungrim was still there. Chungrim was on the second sofa from the left, but the magazines and his right arm weren’t parallel. Did he go somewhere? Where did he go in that time? Did he meet someone? Sung-kyung frowned under the brim of his hat.“…You didn’t go anywhere, right? You stayed here the whole time?”“Yeah.”A faint smell of outside air clung to Chungrim as he approached. Sung-kyung pressed his lips together. Chungrim handed him a bottle of water he’d brought from the car. Reluctantly, Sung-kyung took it and drank a sip. As he wiped his wet lips, Chungrim closed the bottle cap and draped his arm over Sung-kyung’s slender shoulders. They were now used to holding each other like this.“What did they ask you?”Since it was the first session, not much was discussed. However, this therapist had focused a lot on the lost memories. Sung-kyung, as before, claimed he remembered everything. The therapist seemed skeptical but also willing to believe. It didn’t matter. Sung-kyung really did remember, and today would be his last session.“They asked if I wanted to recover my memories.”“……”“They said it would be better for me to remember.”Chungrim’s steps halted, and Sung-kyung stopped as well. Chungrim’s chest heaved as he let out an irritated sigh.“Better, my ass. Do you think that too?”Seeing Chungrim so tense and reactive to the idea of him recovering memories made Sung-kyung’s headache fade slightly.“No.”Despite the immediate response, Chungrim continued to gaze into Sung-kyung’s eyes, as if silently conveying, “Even if you want to find them, don’t. And if you do, forget them.”The two resumed walking slowly, their footsteps echoing down the corridor. As they walked side by side, Sung-kyung observed the quiet Chungrim, noted his expression in the elevator’s reflection, and felt his hand occasionally caressing his left wrist, hiding the scars. These moments made him feel alive.Seeing Chungrim’s mood sinking, Sung-kyung knew their outings would be cut short for a while, and Chungrim would tighten his control even more meticulously. The thought of being under constant watch and control for 24 hours brought a tingling pleasure rising from his chest.Today, he would write this in his notebook:Why is everyone so obsessed with my memories? Do I need to find them? Will that make Hyung happy?Kim Sung-kyung knew exactly how to drive Kwon Chungrim crazy. He knew how to keep him awake at night and how to tighten the leash if the surveillance loosened. They were both gradually suffocating each other, but it was a welcomed act for both.Kim Sung-kyung would probably never regain his memories, just as Kwon Chungrim wished. Since he had lost nothing, it was only natural.