Reborn in the Mist

“I’m not real.” The second Yagura groaned for the third time. He felt pretty real to me though and even though we share the same shape I think he’s more real than I am.

“You have to be the real Yagura, cuz I’m not.” Is my consistent rebuttal but the scowl on the real Yagura’s face doesn’t fall.

I looked below my feet where the Three-Tails slept with its tails pinned to the ocean floor by massive pillars. He doesn’t seem to notice us hovering over his head and arguing over who’s the real person and that’s quite unfortunate, I was hoping to talk to him as well.

“You’re doing it again.” The real Yagura swam in front of me, refusing to leave my sight. “Trying to ignore me, deny what’s happening right in front of you, distract yourself from your reality.”

I dart aside for some breathing space and scoffed, “I’m not doing any of that. Actually, I think I’m facing my reality quite head on right now. How can I wake him up?”

The real Yagura rolled his eyes, “That’s what I’m trying to tell you, you have to face the reality that there is no separation between Jason and Yagura, not anymore.”

Hearing my old name from someone else seized my train of thought completely, “What are you talking about?”

Yagura smiled a bit, finally having my attention, “I am not the ‘real Yagura’, you are. I am your mental creation, you separated a fragment of the knowledge encompassing…Yagura.”

I blinked, piecing his words together as I looked between his eyes that were an exact copy of mine, “You’re saying that I made you…?”

“Yes, you refused me.” He sounded a bit injured saying so. “You stuffed me into the seal and only call on me when you’re fighting and even then, you reject a great portion of who you are to satisfy the expectations of who you were. You’re not Jason anymore, you’re Yagura.”

Again I blinked and took a moment to process his string of words, digest what he’s saying. “I know who I am and I know my reality. I’m facing up to it, I have a plan, I have a lot

“And how are you going to back them up? Keep pinching into me when it comes down to a fight? How are you going to protect the village if you can’t even face the true version of yourself?” The real Yagura challenges.

Annoyed I snort, “What the fuck are you even saying? You get genjutsu’d in the real version of this and now I’m here to save your ass!”

“It’s your ass now. Have you considered you’ve always been Yagura? That you’re the one who gets genjutsu’d despite knowing all along who is coming after you and how?”

My head ached from the implication of his words, or maybe that’s the Bijuu chakra flooding my body and making me run mad on the outside. I gulped and stared at my doppelganger in thought, biting the side of my cheek.

I hadn’t considered that I could be the real Yagura, the one that got genjutsu’d— come to think of it, I don’t see much of the events prior to being genjutsu’d in the show, there’s no way of knowing for sure.

One thing greatly unnerved me about this theory though, “You said I won’t be able to talk to Isobu until…”

“Until you accept the parts of you your past deems…unfavourable.” His eyes hardened as he spoke and I knew what he meant.

Since I started training, no, since I woke up in this body I’ve been slipping more and more into Yagura’s personality. Soft spoken, gentlemanly but strong, immensely strong and bloodthirsty.

“Yagura wasn’t…he wasn’t a good person.” I swallowed.

My doppelganger pressed a hand on my shoulder and sneered, “See? If you really faced reality, then the personality you’d have locked up here would be Jason’s. His expectations, his morals and standards have no place in the shinobi world. They have no place in Kirigakure.”

“Then I’ll make a place. I’ll change Kiri for the better, I’ll stop Obito and his Akatsuki and-”

Frustrated out of his imaginary mind, my doppelganger clenched his fist and buried it in my cheek. “You fool. You’ll get yourself killed again and this time, there won’t be a merciful god waiting to recycle your life.”

He hovered over me as I massaged my cheek, “Accept all that you are with no bias, know that this place, this world and village will not bow to a weak-willed man. Already your enemies move against you and yet, here you are, taking measured cups of strength to face challenges that require absoluteness. You will never become Mizukage this way.”

Here I laughed, “I already am. Harusame hasn’t locked away the Three Tails chakra making me rampage, I can sense it, I can sense that much. I’m fighting Fuguki and Juzo right now and I’ll win.”

Yagura doesn’t look impressed, “A chakra mad version will win? You should have simply killed Fuguki, fought him till his arms and legs were broken and then spared him if you choose to be so kind to your opponents.”

“I will not besmirch your efforts, you have trained well and adapted a sliver of the power you so reject. But if you don’t reconcile with me then Isobu will be forever lost to you, even if you master his chakra. He will not be there to knock you out of genjutsu when you need and I bet that’s what happened the first time around.”

I shook my head, “This is why…I don’t want to be Yagura. He’s too…fierce, too ready to do anything and-”

“And you’re not, you’re afraid that there’s more of him than there is more of you. But that’s where you’re wrong. Before you and he died your lives were separate, but now here you are and you can’t continue living the old life you had, there won’t be an easy way out, accepting that until you build Kiri into a place where someone like Jason can live will require every bit of Yagura on the front is the only way. Stop pretending.”

When I…Jason died, I lived a life of…depression and hunger for purpose. When that god plucked my soul and asked me what I wanted for a new life, I told him I wanted purpose, I wanted a place where I could be strong. I certainly didn’t ask him to place me in the most precarious situation one can be in in the Narutoverse but here I am.

I have a purpose now but…I…

The light on Yagura’s Bo-staff flower flickers and he narrowed at me, “Seems my time with you is running out, make a choice, Jason, if you want to change anything you…you cannot hesitate, not anymore.”

“Wait!” I called out, desperately looking around the darkening ocean as my thoughts raced, “What if I can’t live with it? Yagura…I’ve seen him be cruel and then kind but the blood is never washed away, it’s on my hands and they all respect me for it.”

Yagura’s scowl only deepens as the darkness consumes, “Then you’d better give up on being Mizukage, only those willing and capable should be Kage and if that’s not you, then the best change you can bring to Kiri is by stepping away from it.”