These feelings are totally normal, right?
Gentle fingers traced my skin, the light grazes sending tingles through my body. Normally, it would have gotten me all worked up. But right now, I was too busy being eaten by guilt to pay attention.
"She'll forgive you. Honestly, she's probably more mad at herself than at you. You just need to give her some time to herself."
As I had feared, Layla freaked out the moment her mind cleared. I couldn't blame her. If someone else messed with my mind and made me act in a way so unlike myself, I would've panicked too. I had made a stupid mistake in the heat of the moment. I put my own surface-level desires over the mental health of one of my closest friends. And now I was paying the price.
"It's not like you're in a rush or anything. You have all the time in the world to patch things up, dear," The graceful hand tilted my head to look up at the motherly blue eyes twinkling down at me.
After the incident with Layla, I wasn't sure where to go. I needed advice, but not too many people seemed fit for the job. Penny was too nice to say I did anything wrong, and Hanina, while a good person, has dedicated so much of her personality into spiting the Elinys and her wives that she had become a bit too cynical for this kind of thing. Albus was immediately out of the question, not only because he wasn't her today, but also because talking about my sexual life around just felt kind of weird.
That left one semi-decent option. Which led me to laying my head on Cinila's lap, asking her for relationship advice.
"In the meantime, I know something to keep your mind off it,” she said, patting my head.
Blood colored my cheeks as my mind drifted to what she would do to distract me. Unbidden, my frilly panties grew slightly tighter.
God, what was wrong with me? Just moments ago, I was devastated and guilty about one of my best friends. Now I was eager to please again.
Cinila chuckled and lightly flicked the tent in my underwear. “No, not like that. You need to work on those hormones of yours, sweetie.”
“Come on.”
I let Cinila help me off the bed. Her motherly nature just made it so hard to say no to her.
My bare feet padded against the soft red carpet on the floor. My eyes flitted between the various art pieces that decorated the walls, most of which depicted figures indulging in rather disturbing carnal pleasures, though there were a few portraits of elegantly posed succubi and incubi.
Oddly, though I was Mistress’s personal slave, I had never been in her bedroom. It seemed like her and all of her wives slept together in one large, semicircular bed. Personally, I preferred my solitary mattress.
Cinila led me to a door. Unlike the main door, which was guarded by statues of naked twins wrapped around each other on either side, this one had no embellishments. It was just a simple wooden door.
Cinila pressed her hand against an imprint in the door. After a few seconds, it chimed and the door opened silently.
I stepped inside casting my gaze around the room. The walls were covered in a nice pastel blue, with green and pink floral embellishments. In the far corner, a floating violin played a relaxing melody. And in the middle, snoring softly in large pink crib, was a little bundle of swaddling cloth.
Cinila leaned over and traced the baby’s face with a single finger, prompting it to slightly open its eyes.
The child cooed. Its stubby little hand desperately grasped upwards until Cinila picked her up.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
“Uh, yeah. She is,” I said. Her face was so innocent and pure. The small amounts of baby fat on her cheeks jiggled as she laughed, trying to catch the finger Cinila was wagging in front of her face.
"Do you want to hold her?"
Cinila spoke so softly that at first I thought I was just hearing things. Me? Hold her kid? Surely she was joking. Why would she entrust something so precious with me?
As if reading my mind, Cinila held out her daughter and said, "It's okay, I trust you."
Hesitantly, I reached forward. The soft wad of cloth was laid in my hands, and two curious eyes stared up at me. Bright blue, just like her mother. My mouth curved into a small smile and I gently rocked her back and forth.
Foreign memories stirred within me. Of a life before. I was returning home. I was on break from… something. Feet padded along a ceramic floor at a rapid pace until a little toddler rounded the corner, his face filled with delight. "You're hooome!" he screamed, and launched himself at my feet. Seconds later, a woman came from the same place as the toddler. "It's nice to see you again,..." The memory faded before she finished her sentence.
I internally scoffed. Was this where I was now? Had I spent so long in this hellhole that my own memories from before had started to feel like someone else's. I had already known it was getting bad when I couldn't even remember where I was born. Now I was forgetting the names and faces of my own family.
“I understand that sometimes this place can feel hopeless and grim, but the time will come when you are welcomed, and when you will welcome us.” Cinila tickled the baby’s belly through the cloth, and it broke out in another fit of giggles.
A tear welled in my eye. Something so pure didn’t deserve to be in a place like this. I glanced at the motherly elf beside me, dimples surrounding her kind smile and her eyes shining with love.
“You have question. What is it?” Cinila asked without even looking up from the baby. I turned, wide-eyed and startled. How had she known?
She chuckled. "Though you cannot speak, you are quite terrible at hiding you internal thoughts. Now please, what would you like to know?"
I really didn't want to actually ask, considering it might come off as insensitive, but I couldn't just deny her.
"How... How did you and Mistress meet? Hanina said you were one of the first."
Cinila hummed. She glided a hand around the baby's delicate face. I really needed to learn her name.
"I wasn't just one of the first, Cali. I was the
first. I was there at the beginning. Before, even. Back when that big, bad succubus you call 'Mistress' was just another demon on the streets trying to survive."My mind stopped. What was she saying?
"This all actually started with me. I convinced her to open up a brothel for travelling soldiers in that little border town. We provided shelter for the street urchins with no home, all in exchange for their body. It was quite profitable. And then a demon horde attacked, and we enslaved the survivors. That alone wasn't enough to bring us to where we are now, but I'll save the rest of the story for later, if you're still interested."
I struggled to come to terms with what I was hearing. The kind, motherly elf who had done nothing but help me this whole time was the one responsible for all this?
The infant in my arms let out a cry, and with a start I realized I had subconsciously tightened my grip on it.
Cinila soothed her child. In a quiet voice she asked, “Does this truly surprise you. Did you perhaps think I was simply a kind soul?” She chuckled, but it was a mirthless sound. “You should have learned by now that no one here is without sin. Even little Layla and Hanina. And even Penny.”
Her eyes turned to me, and her hand caressed my cheek.
“Bu you don’t need to worry about that. As deprecating as it may be, you are just a slave. None have ever escaped before. There is little you can do to make a lasting impact. So why not let those thoughts… fade away?”
I wanted to refute her words. To say that I would be the first. That Layla and Hanina and Penny were good people. But Cinila applied a gentle pressure to the back of my head, and I found my face drawn into her pillowy chest. To my shame, I automatically starting snuggling into her bosom.
Cinila softly patted the back of my skull. "There, there," she said. "Just relax." And than she slipped the neckline of her dress down, and I was pressed against her warm flesh. Like a reflex, my mouth had instantly latched on to her exposed nipple and suckled at her breast. A firm, yet gentle hand held me in place as a breathy moan came from above me. I imagined Cinila, with her baby blue eyes closed in pleasure and her plump lips open, her head leaning back and her brown hair cascading down.
It wasn't long before a warm substance started to flow into my mouth, the elf's body adjusted to respond properly when her babe suckled on her breast. Yet, I wasn't her child. I wasn't even a child. So why did I enjoy it so much? Maybe it was the sweet milk pouring down my throat, or the sense of comfort and security as I was held by Cinila. My legs curled up in Cinila's lap - when had we sat down? - and the child in my arms snuggled against my stomach content.
It's a natural thing for adults not to remember their infancy. The brain is too undeveloped and so many years pass that more important memories take their place. Yet, as I lay there, curled in that warm embrace, a stray thought stuck in my head. This was a new life. I could barely even remember my old one. Why shouldn't I get to start over?
"Is this not better, Little Cali? To give up your worries and pains and allow another to comfort you?" Her hand trailed along my back. It never went low enough to feel sexual. Instead, the tingles were of content pleasure. "It's so sad, the trials you girls must face. Necessary, but still sad."
We sat there for a while, long enough for the baby's snores to drift into our ears. The flow of milk didn't stop. Despite that, Cinila carefully pulled my head away. A few last spurts of milk jetted out, adding to the drops of liquid already on my chin. I didn't mind that. Instead, I whined as I was pulled away.
"I still need to save some for Lilia, Cali," she chuckled.
Lilia. I glanced down at the sleeping girl in my arms. She had the same warm skin tone as Cinila, and if my memory served right, the same blue eyes. But instead of brown hair, little tufts of black hair decorated her scalp.
"You want to know who her father is?"
"Y-yes ma'am."
"Unfortunately, I don't believe I'm fully at liberty to tell you that. Even if they doesn't see themselves like that."
My mound thought up a thousand different possibilities of who it could be. But just as quickly, I banished those thoughts. I didn't need to worry about that. It wouldn't change anything. Instead, I snuggled back into Cinila, using her large breasts as pillows, and let my eyes drift closed like Lilia below me.