Reborn: From Nothing

My eyes open, but my surroundings are strange. I must be dreaming lucidly. The ground is grass, but there is not a tree, mountain, hill, or rock in sight. Most of all the air feels, ethereal.

In front of my eyes is a sight I had not seen in many years. Five to be exact. The sight of a silver-haired and silver-eyed boy. Ten years old to be exact. A familiar sight, I was beside his side every hour of every day for ten years.

Something was strange about him. I don’t know exactly what made it so, but he gave off an impression. He gave off the impression that the one I spoke to was not a figment of my imagination. The boy spoke to me in a melancholic tone,

“Hello, Arthur” Cassius told me, speaking from the body of his younger self, speaking from the body he had when he died.

“You… what… what’s going on?” words of confusion fumble out of my mouth.

I look down and find a figure I never thought I would reside in again. It's a skinny, frail, and ugly body. I feel gross just returning to it. The clothes I wear are the ones I perished in back in my old world.

I have returned to the body of my old self.

“It seems that I have successfully pulled you back into this plane, Arthur,” Cassius told me, his tone was serious. Even if his body was young, he was mentally aged. “You must have realized it, somebody was watching out for you the same way you looked after me.”

“But… how could this be true? How do you know that name?”

“I don’t understand how this is possible either, it goes against all logic. The best idea I could come up with is when we are in this plane, our bodies are made of some material that can’t be interacted with in the real world. We can still see reality, just can’t interact with it.” he spoke, “As for your other question, have you forgotten? We share a mind, Arthur.”

“What is this place?” The scenery was not the area I passed out in.

“A manifestation within our shared consciousness, created with magic.”

“But, I can’t work magic like this… plus I was completely out of mana when I lost consciousness.”

“The body I resided in has magic too. I’m only able to cast within your body, like that healing spell from earlier and this spell.”

“I see.”

It went silent for a bit. I have so much that I want to say to him, but I can’t formulate the words. I had never had a heartfelt conversation before. Most of all, I am ashamed. I am ashamed of who I am today.

My throat feels like it is swelling, water is building up in my eyes, and my mind is going more numb.

Damnit, I can’t be crying like this. If there is anyone in this world who lacks the right to cry, then it is me, after everything I have done futility in the name of Cassius, I don’t have the right to act like a victim.

“So you realized it.” He looked down at me. I fell to all fours with my head down, I can’t let him see the tears. “We share a mind, Arthur, you can’t hide from me.”

“I… I…” Words won’t come out.

“You knew that revenge wasn’t the path I would want for you, but you sought it anyway. You realized the true words I tried to leave you with, but you rejected the truth. You wanted to believe that I supported this quest of yours.”

“You’re wrong! I thought that…”

“Don’t lie. You know.”

“You’re…”

“You know what I said,” I remembered the words he spoke in his final moments.

“Don’t let him…”

“Don’t let him hurt Octavia too.”

I still couldn’t look up. I was scared to see the look on his face. He was certainly disillusioned. He watched as I bastardized his name, killed with his hands, and destroyed his relationship with the family he had left.

He also saw this form, he also knows who I was in my past life, I am sure of it. From the way he talks, he must know.

“You are pathetic, Arthur.”

I cringed after hearing this. Even as I cried, I cringed and flinched. Nobody knew this better than I, still, I believed I changed.

“You’re delusions of grandeur made you believe you were on some grand quest. You believed that with a cruel persona and violent behavior, you could become someone strong. You believed that if you killed the person that hurt you, then you could escape being a victim of cruel fate.”

“You’re right…”

“You were never on a grand quest for revenge, you were running from pain and destroying countless lives on that path.”

Every word he spoke was like a sharp knife, breaking me down to the core.

“At the moment I thought…”

“I know, you were misguided. But, that is not a good enough excuse. You are exceptional, Arthur. At any point during this war, you could have seen through your misguided vision and changed your ways. But you didn’t… that’s on you.”

He’s right, getting caught up in my anger isn’t a good enough reason to do what I have done. I am not just a failure… I am an evil, vile, disgusting person. It took meeting the one person who I failed the most to truly understand this…

“Damnit…” I unconsciously let out.

Something touches my arms and back. I flinch, I haven’t had human contact in years that didn’t involve someone trying to kill me. To my surprise, it was Cassius who grasped me.

With warmth and a kind look on his face, he hugs me tight. Even though I am older than him, it is he who buries my head into his shoulder.

At this point, there is no stopping the tears from escaping my eyes. I break down into a bawl and collapse the rest of the tension into my body.

“There there,” Cassius strokes my hair, “what you’ve done is unacceptable. That doesn’t mean you deserve what’s happened to you. You’ve had a rough life, I promise it will get better…”

Ah, there is so much comfort… but,

“There’s no point in fighting any further… my life is over. Anyone who’s ever cared for me is gone… existing itself has become so painful… at this point, I might as well…”

“No! You aren’t giving up on this life just yet! There is still one person!”

“Is it… you?” It must be himself he’s talking about.

“No… it is Octavia.”

“That girl… she must have given up on me by now…”

“I know her better than anyone else. That is not the case, I am sure of it.”

I never got close to Octavia. When she lived at the estate, we were more neighbors than anything. I made it a point not to influence or interact with her more than necessary. Just for Cassius’ memory, would she really go that far?”

Even if that’s the case, and I still have one more ally in this world… what now? Cassius spoke again,

“Let me repeat it once more, you are pathetic, Arthur. Any task you have ever set forth has been an act of desperation. I ask no more from you now.” he continued with a firm grasp of my shoulders, “with the desperation of a cornered animal, push forward and don’t look back.”

“For what? Why should I do this? What should I move towards?”

“Happiness.”

“How am I supposed to reach that?”

“By dying.”

“What?”

“Kill off your old self and become what you truly wish to be.”

“I don’t even know what I want to be… if I did, I wouldn’t have come to this world in the first place.”

“Then…” he appears to have some reservations for what he’s about to say. “Can I make a selfish request?”

“Anything.”

The wind picks up in this barren land. My long and unkept hair and his short and well-groomed hair flow in the same direction. His tunic is loose from his body, when Claudia had it made, she expected him to grow into it. I am wearing an anime t-shirt and sweatpants which cling close to my body.

His eyes are lit up and full of life, unlike his condition. Mine are dead, but they still get caught up in his energy.

“With my body, fulfill my greatest desire. Become the person I always wished to be…” he continued, “Become a hero, Arthur. With the ugly desperation of someone as pathetic as you, claw your way up to the highest heights a warrior can reach.”

“There is no way I can…”

“Only you can. If you continue to dredge onward with desperation, then you can be a hero.”

He’s being ridiculous, there is no way someone like me…

No, why is he fading off into the distance…

“I will see you soon, Arthur. Now, wake up.”

With a gasp I find myself leaning against a tree.

Was that even real? No, it had to be.

What should I even do?

I guess, I should start by walking to a town.