Reborn as a Dark Lord (A cozy-adjacent isekai)

We reached The Shadow's Respite within minutes. I fumbled with my keys before pushing through the front door. Water stains darkened the wooden floor near the bar. Puddles reflected the overhead lantern lights.

I'd made several improvements since the grand reopening. New copper mugs hung from hooks behind the bar. Cushioned benches with deep red fabric had replaced the old wooden stools along the west wall. A stone hearth dominated the far corner where a small fire crackled. Fresh paint covered the walls in warm earth tones.

But none of that mattered right now.

"Boss! Finally!" Grondak called from the kitchen doorway. "Orc hands get wrinkly!"

Ophelia materialized near the kitchen entrance, her ghostly form shimmering. "Oh, Varix, it's terrible! The water came through like a waterfall! I tried to warn someone, but they can't hear me, and-"

Garin's form appeared beside her; his spectral armor with its typically polished gleam was resplendent. The paladin must have been buried like this, while Lady Ophelia wore a practical green dress. "Time to break out the rags and get this water moved outside."

"This is not the time," I muttered under my breath as I rushed past them.

The kitchen was a disaster. Water covered the floor in a sheet that reached my ankles. It had seeped under the stove and pooled around the prep tables. Wet footprints tracked across the stones where Lady Churl had scrambled around.

Grondak stood pressed against the back wall. His massive green hands wrapped around a section of exposed copper pipe. Water leaked between his fingers in steady streams, but his grip held back what would have been a torrent.

"Grondak try hard!" he called out. "Big water want to escape! But orc stronger!"

Doan burst through the door behind us, huffing as he dragged a wooden crate. Tools clinked against each other inside. He set it down with a heavy thud and wiped sweat from his bald head.

"Bloody hell," Doan said as he surveyed the damage. "This is worse than I thought."

I stared at the soaked floor and felt my stomach drop. The wood would need to be replaced. The stone underneath might be cracked. The costs piled up in my head faster than I could count them.

"Churl, is your room okay downstairs?"

"Reckon I don't rightly know," she said. "Been too busy keepin' this place from turnin' into a lake. Ain't had time to look in on it. Morth's smart and probably made a run for it. Arrow and Scratch. Well, ain't seen them today."

Lady Churl had come across an injured vassilith while searching for a particular moss Elixander had needed for an elixir that would cure Baron Swiftwood's ailing wife. Somehow, the little lizards, with tails that appeared sharp enough to drive straight through plate mail, were now living with Lady Churl and our cat Morth. I made it a point to keep out of their way.

Doan brushed past me and squatted near the wall. He opened his crate and pulled out several thin metal plates and crude clamps. "Pardon me, son," he said to Grondak. "Let me have a look."

He peered at the break in the pipe. His beard dripped as he got closer to inspect the damage.

"This is no leak," Doan said. "It's a gusher! The pipe has a huge hole. It will have to be replaced."

"Big water mess!" Grondak said cheerfully. "Okay for Grondak! This month orc bath done!"

Lady Churl snorted. "Like you was plannin' to anyway. Right. I'll look down below." She added and scurried off.

Seraphina stepped forward, her gem pouch already open. "I can freeze the pipe from a few feet away so you can make repairs."

Doan looked up from his inspection. "It's risky. Ice could put more pressure on the pipes. Might crack them further if we're not careful."

Seraphina nodded. "I'll do my best to control the freeze. Spread out the pressure instead of concentrating it in one place."

I looked around the flooded kitchen. "There's no other choice. We have to try something."

She pulled out a pale blue gem and moved to the wall next to Grondak, before she moved a few more feet away. She lifted the gem and held it near the wall, and moved it up and down.

"There it is. Ready?" she asked.

Doan nodded as he reached into his crate and dug up some thin metal strips.

She pressed the gem against the wall and closed her eyes. Elvish words flowed from her lips in a musical chant that made the air shimmer. Her voice carried notes that seemed to vibrate through the stone itself.

The water streaming between Grondak's fingers began to slow. Ice crystals formed along the exposed pipe.

"Water cold!" Grondak complained. "Make orc hands numb!"

Doan reached in to help hold the pipe steady as the flow reduced to a trickle. "Easy now, just keep your grip until it stops completely."

The water went from pouring out to a trickle and then to drops.

"It's safe to let go now," Seraphina said.

Doan stared at the broken section and kept his hands poised in case he had to staunch the flow again. He waited for any sign that the ice might crack or the pressure might build too much.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"How long will that hold?" I asked Seraphina.

"I'll leave the gem near the wall. It should give you a day or two. I will stop by and give it a recharge."

Grondak pulled his hands away and shook them out. "Orc fingers like icicles!"

With the water stopped, we could finally see the full extent of the damage. A jagged hole stretched across seven inches of the pipe. Metal fragments hung loose where the break had torn through. Part of the pipe remained intact, but the damaged section would need complete replacement. It was easy to see how so much water had poured out in such a short time. I peered inside the wall and found water had pooled under the pipe. It leaked out slowly, but the wall would need repairs as much as the pipes.

Doan scratched his thick beard. "That's going to have to be replaced." He had a long metal strip in his hand. He held it near the break and pulled out another. With the pair next to each other, he nodded and put them over the break. The metal strips were about a quarter inch thick, but that didn't mean much to Doan. His large hands pulled the strips together until they were wrapped around the hole. He pulled out some metal screw clamps with wood on either side of the jaws. He applied these to the metal to tighten them against the patch.

"That'll help a little if the ice gives."

"Wow, Doan. Thank you."

"You can thank me when I bring the bill for my work." Doan grinned. "I'll get some new pipe cut."

I groaned.

I stared at the water pooling around my boots. Some of it had already soaked through the floorboards. That worried me more than the broken pipe. Water and wood made terrible partners.

"How much water went through before Grondak stopped it?" I asked.

"Reckon it was like a waterfall for a good ten minutes," Lady Churl said. "Maybe longer. Hard to say when you're runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off."

I bent down and pressed my hand against the wooden planks. They felt spongy. Water had seeped underneath. I followed the wet trail out into the main room.

More water had flowed here than I'd first noticed. Dark stains spread across the floor in uneven patterns. The wood near the kitchen door already looked warped. I wasn't sure of The Shadow's Respite's age. It had been here for decades longer than any current residents could remember. I had always known the tavern would someday need some serious renovations. I hadn't expected it to happen so soon.

"Will the board buckle?"

"They might. Water sat for a while before it drained. It might dry," Doan replied from the kitchen doorway. "But we need to get this fixed properly. Can't have water running through the walls."

"How long will that take to make the pipe?"

"Few hours for the metalwork. But replacing the pipe is going to be tricky. I'll have to cut out the damaged part and fit a new pipe so it slides in. I'll need Caden to help."

Seraphina looked up from where she knelt beside her gem. "I can also assist. I can make the copper hot enough to make the pieces weld together."

Doan nodded. "Aye, that's the way. Much cleaner than trying to fit threaded joints in tight spaces."

I stood and looked around at the damage again. Water stains on the walls. Warped floorboards. A hole in my plumbing that would take most of the day to fix. This wasn't going to be cheap.

A few months ago, money hadn't been a concern. King Alister had gifted me several King's coins after the whole mess with Thalindra. The rarest coins in the land. Each one was worth more than most people saw in years.

I'd invested one in The Wandering Boar. Another went toward the house Seraphina and I were building. I'd taken the last one to Quibble and opened a credit account so that any expenses related to my various investments could be paid while still earning interest. Quibble had been beside himself to get his hands on a King's coin. He'd probably never spend it, but that wasn't my concern.

But repairs like this added up fast. The wood alone would cost quite a bit, depending on how much had to be replaced. Then there was labor, replacement materials, and who knew what other problems we'd find once we started pulling up floorboards.

Doan picked up his tool crate. "I have to get back to the smith. Got three orders waiting, and Ragna will have my hide if I'm gone much longer. But I'll check back later. Send Caden over when I see him."

"Thanks, Doan."

He headed for the door, then paused. "Don't panic about the cost yet. Might not be as bad as it looks. Sometimes water damage looks worse than it is. I'll check in later."

Seraphina shook off her hands and glanced down at her work shirt. Water stains darkened the fabric around the sleeves and hem. "I need to run, too. Have to get changed and reopen the shop in fifteen minutes. Custom order being picked up."

She moved closer and planted a quick kiss on my lips. Then she stared at the mess and shook her head gently.

"This will work out," she said. "It always does."

"I hope you're right."

Seraphina waved and headed for the front door.

I put my hands on my hips and shook my head at the mess. Most of the water had sunken into the floorboards. A lot of beers and drinks had met a similar fate, but those had been easy to clean up.

I followed the water trail back out to the main room. The damage looked even worse from this angle. Water had spread under several tables. The wooden legs sat in small puddles where water hadn't seeped below. I peered over one such puddle and found the wood was too close together.

The one saving grace was the dirt foundation underneath. I hoped most of the water had flowed away through the soil instead of just sitting there, rotting the support beams.

Grondak brought out a large pile of towels and dumped them on the floor. He piled a few over the most enormous puddles of water.

I helped him spread them around, and we began the arduous process of soaking up water, then going to the back and wringing them out.

On our third or fourth trip, a familiar face appeared on the street and made for the Shadow's Respite.

He was clad in a loose-fitting linen shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a pair of plain, grey woolen breeches. His feet bore a pair of scuffed leather shoes, and a woolen cap sat atop his head, though it did little to hide his baldness.

Over the past few weeks, Old Man Guslan transitioned into the role of town messenger. He bustled about, delivering a myriad of missives to the citizens. I'd asked him why he wanted the job at his age.

"I'm old, not useless. I like to stay busy, and I know everyone."

I waved, and Guslan waved back.

"Got something for you," he said, reaching into a pouch at his side and pulling out an envelope with a familiar gold seal.

I dropped my towel and groaned again. What now?

"What happened here?" Old Man Guslan asked.

"A leak."

"Must have been a big one."

I nodded as I took the envelope. Lord Commander Varix Vel'Naris was handwritten in perfect script. The red wax seal was royal. What fresh hell was this? I had too much to do. There was no time for jaunting off to do work for the King.

Grondak pulled a huge knife from the sheath at his side and offered it. "Need open! Use knife!"

His knife could open a cow.

"It's okay, Grondak. But thank you."

I slid my finger under the flap, cracked the seal, peered inside, and read the invitation.

"You've got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed.