Reborn as a Dark Lord (A cozy-adjacent isekai)

As promised, Chef Darius Goldenspoon stopped by the next morning. We went into my kitchen and talked about cooking and food in general.

Jessara and Milo were still at the other tavern, taking stock of the goods, produce, recipes, and what would be needed to open it, but for the next few days, it would remain closed. I needed time to talk to the staff on hand, those who had stayed, at least. I didn't have to worry about any entanglements Milo may have had. He'd been seeing a woman at the Wandering Boar named Lily, but she had moved out of the village, according to Jessara.

Festival would probably be too big a word for what I had planned, but an impromptu gathering at The Shadow's Respite would serve its purpose. After our journey to Crownforge and dealing with the tavern guild, I wanted to celebrate being home with the people who mattered most.

Lady Churl appeared with a crash of her door smashing into the floor. Chef Darius and I both jumped. My sous chef walked into the kitchen, balled fists to her eyes as she rubbed sleep out of them. Chef Darius's eyes shot wide open, and he took a step back.

"What in the world?" Chef Darius said.

"That would be Lady Churl. She does like to make an entrance."

I introduced them. Darius nodded at Lady Churl. "Yes. Hello. Um. Greetings."

I fought back a chuckle as Darius looked my friend over.

She regarded him, and, never one to hold her tongue, said, "You sure this is a good idea, boss?"

I nodded. "I think so. I think the chef and I have found a middle ground." I turned to Darius. "This isn't a problem, is it?"

He gently shook his head. "It is not. I have never been this close to a, um… A goblin."

Lady Churl offered her hand. "Go on. Reckon ya touch it, you ain't gonna be so afraid."

"I'm not afraid." Chef Darius puffed up, but reached out, turned his hand, and offered it to her for a shake. They clasped hands and shook once. Darius withdrew his arm with an odd smile.

"So what'cha got planned, boss?"

I laughed and said, "Something stupid. I want to host a large gathering at the tavern tonight. Everything is discounted. In fact, free appetizers for all and the first drink is half priced."

"Yeah? Reckon that's a good idea? You just got back and all."

"Probably not the best timing," I admitted. "But I need this. I need to be surrounded by friends tonight. Being at the capital reminded me how much I love this place."

Lady Churl nodded and grabbed a jar of dried mushrooms from the counter to make her tea. "Makes sense. Just don't work yourself to death on your first days back."

"No promises." I grinned at her. "I need to pick up a few more things from the market. We'll need more cheese for these trenchers. And I'd like a big batch of sausage poppers and some chili."

"That's a tall order."

"Which is why I'm bringing Chef Darius. I'll show him around."

"I know most of the shops. I have been here for a few months."

"I'm sure you do, but I want you to meet the shopkeepers who know what I like to stock. Additionally, it will be a good opportunity to review some items you might keep on hand. We can compare notes."

"I'll be happy to join you," Darius said.

I went behind the counter, grabbed the petty cash pouch, and headed toward the door. As I stepped outside, I noticed the absence of our usual orc guards and muttered, "Where are Urzan and Moktar? They're usually lounging around out here by now."

Chef Darius, who had followed me outside, raised an eyebrow. "Who are they?"

I laughed and pointed toward the edge of town where the orc fortress was being constructed, although my last pass overhead on Frostfire had revealed the place to be almost complete. "Two orcs that 'guard' the place. Though I suspect they're just here for the free spicy food." I replied.

"Are they dangerous?"

"Mainly to each other. They play a game that involves beating each other."

Darius laughed, then pointed at the shimmering portal near the back wall.

"And what is that?"

"That? That is a long story. I'll tell you about it later."

"The glowing people came from there?"

"The ferrokin. Yes, they did. They are a most interesting people. I bet you'll get along with Triolux."

"I believe I have seen him around town. Bit of a burnished fellow."

"That's him."

Darius's eyes studied the portal, and he even took a step toward it.

"Come on, let's head to the market." I interrupted him. "I'll show you what kinds of supplies I keep on hand."

"Of course," he replied, and lowered his voice as he turned away, but I caught him mumbling, "Fascinating."

We walked through the market, where the morning crowd bustled between stalls. I led Darius through my usual routine, pointing out my preferred vendors.

"This is Yarrow," I said, stopping at a stall piled with herbs and spices. "He runs the Fragrant Leaf and has the freshest oregano and basil around."

"Welcome back, Varix! What can I get you today?"

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

I rattled off a list of items I would need. Yarrow jotted them on a scrap of paper and promised his son would drop them off this afternoon. Darius crossed his arms and nodded along as Yarrow confirmed the list.

Next, we visited the cheese seller. I selected three wheels of mild white cheese, perfect for melting on the trenchers. "These are perfect."

"Agreed. An excellent cheese."

We moved from stall to stall and picked up supplies, but most of the vendors had an agreement with me. With Milo being unavailable, they promised to have the goods I ordered delivered today. Darius asked intelligent questions about my inventory management and meal planning. Despite his previous arrogance, he clearly knew his craft.

Our final stop was Shell's butcher shop, The Jolly Cleaver. Shell greeted me with a wave of her cleaver.

"Heard you were back," she said. "Need something special?"

I introduced Darius to my favorite butcher.

"A large order," I confirmed. "Five pounds of sausage, ten pounds of chicken wings, and five pounds of ground beef."

Shell whistled. "Big night planned?"

"Just a gathering," I said. "But you know how Urzan and his orcs eat."

She laughed and began wrapping meat in paper.

"Your butcher has excellent technique," he murmured.

"Shell, this is Chef Darius Goldenspoon," I said. "He's the chef at the Wandering Boar."

Shell raised an eyebrow but extended her hand. "Pleasure. I hear the food at the Wandering Boar has become very good over the past few months."

Darius appeared pleased with the recognition. My single visit to the other tavern had been less than spectacular. They had butchered one of my recipes. I had not had a chance to eat there since Darius had arrived.

"Where's Caden today?" I asked.

"I think he's helping at the fort."

"I hope you both can make it."

"We'll be there. Can't wait, Varix."

We paid for our order and hauled the packages back to The Shadow's Respite. My arms ached from carrying the load, but the thought of tonight's gathering kept my spirits high.

Back in the kitchen, I showed Darius how to store the chicken wings in the cooler.

"They need to dry out for a few hours," I explained. "Makes the skin extra crispy when fried."

Darius nodded. "Similar to my duck preparation. I use a salt brine and let it sit overnight."

"I'd like to try that sometime," I said. "What's your method for making the skin crisp?"

"Not as clever as this." Darius pointed at the racks of wings I was putting in the cooler.

We fell into shop talk and discussed techniques for everything from roasting to broiling. Darius relaxed as we worked, his earlier stiffness melting away. He still eyed Lady Churl warily when she entered the kitchen, but even that tension eased as we worked side by side.

"Now for the chili," I said, pulling out my largest pot. "This needs to simmer for hours, so we should start it now."

"The secret is toasting the spices first," I explained, adding cumin, chili powder, and a pinch of cinnamon to the dry pan. I showed Darius how I browned the meat, adding onions and garlic until the kitchen filled with savory aromas.

"Interesting," Darius said, leaning closer. "I wouldn't have thought to add cinnamon."

"Just a touch," I said. "Too much and it takes over."

We worked together, adding tomatoes to the pot loaded with searing ground meat. As we worked, his stiffness further fell away, and I realized that Darius might be a normal person under the pompous exterior.

Lady Churl continued to help, but had to make frequent trips back to her room under the tavern.

"Everything okay?" I asked her after her third time.

"Yeah. Reckon I got in a little over my head. I helped a couple 'a little critters underground. They took to me. Morth ain't happy. Them new ones are his size but meaner."

"Underground?" Darius prompted.

"Long story. There's some hidden stuff underground."

"Related to the portal?"

"Sort of." I nodded, not wanting to get into that tale again.

We got back to cooking. Chef Darius had his own ideas about how to do things. At one point, he scrutinized the way I chopped onions.

"Your technique is a bit inefficient," he stated flatly and picked up a knife. "Would you allow me to demonstrate?"

"Sure." I paused mid-chop and watched as he sliced an onion with remarkable speed. His cuts were pretty uniform.

"See how I keep the tip of the knife on the board? It creates a pivot point," he explained, demonstrating the rocking motion. "Faster and more consistent results."

I tried his method and quickly adapted. "You're right. This works better."

Lady Churl snorted from her station. "Just another way to cut things. Food tastes the same no matter how fancy ya chop it. 'Sides. Onions ain't no good for no one. Toss 'em in the trash, I say."

Darius's eyebrow shot up.

"She hates onions."

"Despise the things."

"No matter what is being chopped, consistent pieces cook at the same rate, resulting in uniform texture and flavor distribution."

I caught myself nodding. "He has a point, Lady Churl."

Lady Churl grumbled but didn't argue further. She returned to pounding herbs with her mortar and pestle, making more noise than necessary.

Throughout the afternoon, Darius shared other techniques, like a faster way to peel garlic by crushing it first, and a trick for keeping green vegetables vibrant by shocking them in ice water. Each tip made perfect sense once demonstrated, and I found myself wondering how much time I'd wasted with my self-taught methods.

We clashed over seasoning. He preferred subtle flavors while I favored bold ones, but our disagreements remained professional. Lady Churl occasionally muttered under her breath when Darius used terms like "flavor profile" and "mouth feel."

"Reckon he thinks he's better than us," she whispered when Darius stepped outside to inspect the herb garden.

"He knows different things," I told her. "And some of his ideas will make our dishes better."

Lady Churl shrugged. "If ya say so, boss."

"I assure you, Lady Churl. I take cooking seriously. If I have been brash with you, I apologize," Darius offered.

Lady Churl waved it off, but I caught the hint of a smile as she turned away to throw a pan in the sink.

By late afternoon, we had prepared most of the dishes for the evening. The kitchen smelled excellent. I was now convinced that we would be able to get the Wandering Boar up to speed in no time.

A sharp knock at the front door interrupted our work.

"We don't open for another hour," I called out and wiped my hands on a towel.

The knocking continued, more insistent.

"I'll get it." I sighed and headed toward the door. "Probably Old Man Guslan. His sense of time seems to revolve around the last time he had a mug of beer."

I opened the door to find a woman I didn't recognize. She wore practical traveling clothes, sturdy boots caked with dirt, wool trousers, and a faded blue tunic beneath a weather-worn leather vest. A pack hung from her shoulders, and her dark hair was pulled back in a simple braid. Her face was conventionally attractive, with soft, delicate features that gave her a cute appearance. Her large, animated hazel eyes sparkled with a lively intelligence. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, perhaps from her journey.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

She straightened her posture and her face broke into a hesitant smile. "I sure hope so. A friend helped me get here. You might know him. Real stately fella."

I frowned, confused. "I'm sorry, but do I know you? You seem familiar, but I can't place you."

The woman's smile widened. She glanced around to ensure no one was watching, then pulled at the neckline of her shirt.

A red amulet identical to the Heart of Shadows, which protected my identity, hung against her chest. It glowed faintly with inner light.

My mouth fell open as recognition washed over me. The face was different, but something in her expression, the way she tilted her head... It couldn't be.

"Penny!?" I gasped.

"Yep. I'm here to inquire about employment."