Re: Butterfly (Reincarnated as a Butterfly)

I'm sorry, Goldie, Adon sent as soon as he was close enough to say it without yelling.

He could sense that she had already guessed what had happened. There was a lack of surprise in her inner response, as if she had known that Samson was doomed and not dared to have much hope otherwise.

Did you recover a body? Goldie asked.

If her past from a prior incarnation as a human hadn't been obvious, this might have been the moment that made it most apparent. Spiders did not bury their dead. There was no practical reason for her to be asking about a body.

No, it turned to dust, he made himself admit. He did pass on some last words. He loves us. He'll see us in the next life. He was grateful he got to die for the ones he loved, and he was happy to see me again one last time. Also… I was in his mind at the moment he died. I think I saw his soul when it left his body. There was a radiant light. He was beautiful.

Goldie let out a telepathic sob, and Adon went to her. Frederick was there, too, and the three of them huddled for a while, awkwardly, despite their massive size differences. The young lord's arm draped itself around them like a mantle as Goldie began to grieve the death of another loved one.

As they stood there, Adon sensed the reactions of the others. The children were sad, with varying levels of understanding, and they thought of their father, who had also died that day. Carolien was in a similar frame of mind, albeit with the understanding of an adult.. William was grateful for what Samson had given up for the rest of them; he seemed absolutely convinced that if the spider had not sacrificed himself, the rest of them would not have made it out of the cave. Frederick was sad, though more for Goldie than for himself.

Only Rosslyn stood apart. There was a sadness in her, the same sadness that had threatened to overwhelm her earlier, when she first heard of her father's death.

She kept it at a distance, like an enemy that she couldn't allow into her home. Like a besieging army, perhaps.

Her thoughts didn't form themselves into words, exactly, but Adon had a feeling from her mind that he would have verbalized as, We need to get such and such distance away, and then I can break down.

The new Queen bowed her head in Goldie and Adon's direction and quickly strode into the cave, trying to ignore the pounding that still rang through her head. These physical nuisances felt ridiculous in the face of these disastrous events—like the universe or the Goddess herself was mocking them.

I'll need to talk to her, too, Adon thought. I don't know how any of us are going to get over today. At least the rest of us are alive.

Even as he thought that, though, Frederick's arm around them twitched uncontrollably. Adon could sense that a spasm of pain had run through the young lord's body.

It's the injuries or the poison on those assassins' blades, he thought. They already know about it, but there's nothing they can do. Nothing any of us can do except surrender to the Empire or hope we survive it on our own. It seems like a horrible way to fight, but it's not very different from things I did in the garden. Not very different from things I remember from the histories of various different worlds I've lived in. Humans and bugs and demons don't act so differently. War is war.

By the time Rosslyn emerged from the cave, Adon had almost forgotten where he was. It hadn't actually been very long, but he was lost in thoughts of how he might do things differently if he had the day to live over again, or how he might behave in the future. It was painful losing Samson, but the beauty of the spider's final moments and the willing sacrifice he had made gave the butterfly some additional strength to carry on with.

The things he was obsessed with now were protecting his friends—including comforting Goldie, Rosslyn, and the Royal Family for the losses they had suffered—and taking something positive away from the day. If there was something he could learn from this, some way he could act in the future to minimize such losses or prevent wars from beginning, he had an obligation to himself and the world to do it. He owed it to Samson too.

That's how I make it worthwhile for you, Adon thought. That's my little contribution. Once I can learn something that helps someone else, that makes your sacrifice a little more worth it. Help me, little brother. Help me understand the lessons of your death. There has to be something in this moment that—

Then the Queen stepped out into the sunlight again. She carried Carolien's cane. The time in the darkness seemed to have increased Rosslyn's emotional control and clarity of thought.

"Mother, your cane," she said, holding it out to Carolien.

It felt strange. Adon didn't think he had witnessed a time when Rosslyn had called Carolien by "Mother" instead of "Stepmother," or instead of simply not using any title for her at all.

Carolien reacted to it as if she'd been struck. She looked around herself, saw her children looking devastated, and then Adon thought he knew why Rosslyn had chosen to call her "Mother." She had wanted to remind Carolien, as gently as possible, that there were still people depending on her.

Everyone had essentially frozen in place while Rosslyn was in the cave. They couldn't afford to do that for much longer. There was still danger, not far away. Once the Empire knew the Royal Family had escaped the capital, they would be hot on their tails.

The Queen cleared her throat and looked a little uncomfortable before she spoke.

"Everyone, I apologize for raising practical considerations at a time like this," Rosslyn said. "But we must move on from around the city. Now that the Empire has taken it, and there seems to be nothing we can do, there is only danger for us if we remain close by. If we are all choosing to continue on the journey—" she gave Frederick and William a couple of pointed looks—"then we have only a limited window of time in which we might safely escape."

Stolen novel; please report.

William rose very unsteadily, and Adon was reminded again that his injuries had looked the worst of anyone's. They were all but closed now, but that said nothing about what had become of the poison in his veins.

"I am ready," he said.

"Goldie," whispered Frederick.

Yes, we can move, the spider replied. I will sit still here, if you don't mind.

"Of course not."

The young lord rose and stood alongside his brother.

Rosslyn set a course. Adon was hardly paying attention to it, but from the sun's position, he guessed it was vaguely northern in direction.

It was William whose inner thoughts revealed the true meaning of that choice.

Moving toward Dessia, an excellent decision, the young lord thought. We can keep the Princess—the Queen—safe.

The group started walking. Carolien used her cane, Frederick and William reinforced their limbs with mana, and Baltazar walked normally for a while until he tired, and Rosslyn carried him on her back.

Adon remained beside Goldie, whose emotional wounds were most raw out of everyone, but she was silent and almost asleep very quickly. Spiders did not actually sleep, anymore than caterpillars and butterflies did, but she could make herself dead to the world, and she chose to do so.

Rest, Goldie, Adon thought. He wished he could make himself believe things would be better when she woke up.

After a couple of miles of this, the group exited the valley that led to the capital, and they found themselves in a forest. Frederick and William cut themselves staves from the first strong saplings they came across, and they did the same for Baltazar.

These three, plus Carolien, were the walking wounded. Adon could sense how hard just putting one foot in front of the other was for them. None of them would say anything about it, besides acknowledging the need for walking sticks. Carolien and Baltazar were crushing those feelings of weakness beneath the need to protect the younger children. Frederick and William were simply too proud and too unwilling to burden the others with their weakness.

The Claustrians had already lost so much, and the two Dessians had insisted on accompanying them through the rest of their journey over Rosslyn's objections, so the least they could do is not slow them down.

The forest became a blur as they walked, the day fading around them as the party drew further and further from the city.

Far sooner than Rosslyn would have liked, Adon could sense, they had to stop and forage for supplies.

For Adon, getting food was as simple as catching a chipmunk nearby. He tried to offer some to Goldie, but unsurprisingly, she was not in much of a mood to eat.

I'll just have to keep it up, he told himself.

For the others, getting food to feed eight people, half of whom were adults, was a mild challenge. The magic users' powers had all recovered, but none of their abilities included turning invisible or moving completely silently like an owl. Shooting fireballs was simply not as good for this purpose as the technology from Adon's old worlds. Firearms, laser pistols, or even a good crossbow would have made a great deal of difference.

Finally, though, Frederick was able to take down a deer with his lightning magic. His hands were unsteady, and he needed Goldie to help guide him and hold his fingertips still, but together, they managed.

Then Rosslyn used her fire magic to cook the food. She said they were far enough away that the Empire would not likely spot the smoke, and even if they did, they would have no reason to assume it was the escaped royals.

The group had their first, carnivorous meal as newly initiated predators of the forest. Adon was uncomfortably reminded of how his experience in places like this had differed from theirs, how natural this setting was to him, how easy it was for him to survive it, how relatively hard for them.

It made him feel just slightly less human—which was factually correct, of course. It was not a fun feeling.

On the other hand, it meant he only had to worry about the others, not himself.

When the group resumed walking, Adon couldn't help noticing that William and Frederick's limps had only gotten worse.

He didn't say anything, only because it was apparent to everyone, and because Carolien and Baltazar were in rough shape too. All four of the poisoning victims had begun to sweat noticeably and have more obvious trouble moving, but the Dessians had the worst of it.

Adon, you do not have any anti-poison abilities you have yet to reveal, correct? Rosslyn asked, looking nervously at her little brother.

The butterfly had to say, No.

The Queen simply nodded and tried to put her own mind at ease. He could feel her effort, the willpower she put into steering her own thoughts. She was trying to treat the things she could not control as if they would turn out all right in the end. It was the most helpless he'd ever seen Rosslyn. She could not prevent even the possible deaths of her own family members walking alongside her.

The only thing that kept them moving was the certainty that capture of the Royal Family by the Empire would be a fate worse than death.

As sunset drew near, the forest gradually gave way to a clearing next to a road and an adjacent hamlet.

"Do we stop here?" William asked nervously.

The long walk had proven that he was the worst off out of all of them. His complexion had turned beet red, his clothes were soaked with sweat, and his left leg was barely functional at all. He leaned heavily on his walking stick with every step.

"We have to hope no one from the Empire has reached this place yet," Carolien murmured. "But it is unlikely to be an issue."

"I think we have to risk it," Rosslyn murmured, gazing down at Baltazar, whose skin was almost as red as William's. His eyes looked slightly unfocused to Adon, and his mental activity suggested the boy was almost ready to pass out.

"We have money, and we need rest and food," Frederick agreed. "We will pay for their silence—"

"We will do no such thing," Rosslyn said in a quiet, dignified tone of voice. "Not unless they solicit it."

"Your Highness, be reasonable," William said. "I know you believe in your countrymen's honor, but—"

"It would be an insult to them to press money on them to behave well," Rosslyn said. "However, there is nothing wrong with paying an exorbitant amount for food and lodgings."

Adon understood the distinction. They would still be bribing the hamlet residents, but only in a very limited form that would not wound their pride.

Rosslyn was already thinking from the perspective of someone who knew her own country deeply, he could sense. They were a proud people, the type who generally would not even consider turning in one of their own to a hostile occupying power.

And if they would consider such a thing, then they would just take whatever gold the Dessians tried to press on them and sell them out to the Empire anyway.

Let's go, Adon sent. This is Rosslyn's country. She knows it better than any of us.

The butterfly was rewarded with the faintest of smiles from the Queen.