Radiant Shadow

-Genesis-

I walked into the blank sterile room where the now completed Golem lay resting alone on a metal table in the corner of the room. Walking up to it and taking it in in all of its glory, I was mesmerized by its appearance that looked almost exactly like me. However, when I reached out and felt the 'skin' on its bare arms, it felt cold like death; or more accurately, it felt like room temperature artificial Skinn.

Despite how it looked, this golem was entirely artificial, and it even had some modifications that made its exterior look like a cyborg. It had a 'mask' covering the bottom half of its face, covering where its nose and mouth would have been. Since a golem didn't need to breathe or eat or drink, I had decided to not bother adding a nose or a mouth or any other unnecessary holes in the body, other than the ears and a few data ports in various places like the wrists and back of the head. It should still be able to have a basic sense of smell thanks to two external sensors on the sides of the mask, and it could talk out of speakers in the mask too.

There were a few barely noticeable lines running down and around its neck, arms and legs, which were where it could be taken apart for repair and maintenance. But other than those changes, the only other notable difference from my appearance was the hair. Although adding hair was completely unnecessary, similar to the nose and mouth, I decided to add it anyway. However, the hair was made out of a light and durable metal with color changing properties, though it took a while for the metal to change colors, up to a whole day even, depending on how complex the color changes were.

The metal was a new product that wasn't even on the market yet, only available to me due to the fact that I was a major shareholder of a company dedicated to similar things. When I met Radiant I would have to thank him for the hair, seeing as how it was the first company he had advised me to invest in that had developed what I was now using for my Golem's hair.

I smiled as I ran my fingers through the metal hair, amazed at how much it felt like real hair, though it was slightly heavier than my own.

Overall, I was entirely satisfied with all of the money and resources I had spent to make this Golem. Now there was only one last step.

It was time to control the body myself.

I had already practiced controlling similar things with only my mind for quite some time in preparation for this day, so I didn't waste any time getting into a meditative position with my back against one of the white walls.

Closing my eyes, I felt around with one of my minds, something that was usually only practiced by those with a natural aptitude for the psychic field. However, Radiant had advised me early on that it would be a huge waste to not practice some sort of psychic abilities with so many minds at my disposal.

So, although my psychic abilities were pretty average for how long I had practiced them for, I was able to feel the empty golem body nearby with just my mind, mind No.12 my newest mind.

Locking onto the Golem body, I attempted to do what I had done successfully many times before with practice golems. I sent No.12 to try and link up with my Golem body to remotely control it.

However, instead of merely linking up, like I had done with all the test golems before, this time it felt drastically different. The mind I sent to link up with the Golem felt like it was being stretched and absorbed as soon as it made contact with the Golem.

It was a jarring experience, and it took me a moment to react to the completely unexpected phenomena. Using the mind that felt like it was being absorbed, I tried to pull back to my original body, but instead of returning it felt like it only sped up the process of absorption.

No.12 was somewhat panicking as I felt my mind be absorbed into the Golem body like sunlight being absorbed into skin. It wasn't very painful, but it was like intense exercise or extreme stretching, only instead of muscles being stretched, it was my mind.

I tried multiple different psychic exercises with No.12 to try and stop the absorption process, but everything I did seemed either futile or even sped up the process.

After what felt like an eternity to my other slightly panicking and racing minds, I felt No.12 fully settle into the Golem's body.

I stood up from my meditating position on the floor and stared at the Golem body on the table, now holding inside of it No.12. At the same time I tentatively opened my new Golem's eyes with No.12 lying down on the table. The experience of having multiple perspectives and bodies was nothing new to me, so I didn't feel any disorientation due to this. However, something felt supremely wrong, different, unusual, and even offbeat about everything coming from the mind occupying the Golem.

All of the sensory information I was feeling in the Golem's body felt completely normal, vastly superior even, to my normal body. But my thoughts had shifted and stretched out, becoming much too linear and constrained, yet streamlined and efficient, like a ball of rubber bands being taken apart and linked together into one long chain.

When all of my minds back in my human body looked at my Golem face, I wasn't able to find anything wrong as No.12 started to blink and move its facial muscles. However, when my mind in my Golem body casually looked over at my human body's face, it took multiple seconds, almost grindingly, to go through the process of observation and recognition.

It felt like my Golem 'brain' went through thousands upon thousands of linear thoughts, linking one to the other like links in a chain, and at the end it had to stretch the physical thoughts running through the Golem's brain into something I actually recognized as my own face. My mind in the Golem body felt like it was shaking from the effort after recognizing my own face, and yet at the same time my Golem's physical mind felt like it hadn't expended any effort at all.

In fact, it felt like my Golem's physical mind could fly through many similar calculations and thought threads simultaneously without ever stopping. Of course I knew why this was happening, to an extent anyways; the 'brain' inside the Golem's head wasn't like the fleshy one in my human body, it was a very advanced computer along with some other advanced magical and mechanical processing components. The problem was that I had only planned to control this Golem body similar to remotely piloting a drone, but instead of remotely linking with the body, my mind had been directly absorbed into it.

The computer and other processing components within the Golem weren't meant to be capable of directly housing a full human mind. In fact I could already feel the mind inhabiting the Golem's body start to strain and stretch in ways that telegraphed serious psychic strain, and if I didn't do something soon possibly shatter.

My first course of action was to try and recall the mind back to my human body. My hope was that maybe now after it had fully settled into the Golem body it would be able to return back.

In fact, it actually started to work, but I almost immediately could tell something was off about it. I could feel my mind start to stretch even more as it tried to return to me, and I could tell that that mind would directly shatter under the strain long before it fully came back.

I quickly abandoned recalling my mind, and started hyperventilating in the process. If I leave the mind inside the Golem it will be overwhelmed and break eventually, but I can't pull it back because it will do the same thing. What do I do!?

My mouth went dry and I started to break out into a cold sweat. As my minds started to race to try and find a solution to my predicament, I had to quickly stop due to No.12's mind undergoing way too much stress from the strain of thinking.

I recalled something that one of my psychic teachers had said to me before, "A mind shattering is one of the worst pains that a person can experience. Though I would take that with a bit of suspicion, some people like to compare trauma levels after all. But suffice it to say that you definitely don't want to experience it."

I shuddered at the implication of such pain. But, thankfully, I could feel that I still had time before No.12 within the Golem would reach the point of shattering. However, it wouldn't be long if I didn't find a way to fix this.

The first thing I did was undergo some mental exercises, to force No.12 within the Golem to close its eyes and stop thinking as much as possible. With that done I used all of my other eleven minds to discuss with each other to try and find a solution to this catastrophe.

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Within a mental room that looked like my room back home, No.11, one of my newest minds, besides No.12, spoke up from her sitting position on the soft carpet, "We could try shutting down the Golem. Without its computers and other components working it might allow our mind to return without shattering under the strain."

No.4 shook their head while sitting behind a desk filled with books and papers, "We can't risk that. What if shutting it down increases the strain on the mind? My current theory is that the mind is under so much strain because it's not used to the Golem's body. Kind of like a square being forced into a round hole. What if shutting off the Golem is like getting rid of the hole entirely? That might just rip the mind apart all at once!"

Almost everyone nodded their heads from their various positions around the room, No.1 pacing around said, "That makes sense."

No.7 had her head hanging upside down while laying belly up on the bed, "Why didn't I think of that?"

No.10 was standing and looking over the same book filled desk that No.4 was at. No.10 said, "Hmm, tricky. How are we supposed to get the mind back then?"

All of my minds went silent for a while, before then starting to discuss amongst ourselves as we tried to come up with our own separate solutions to getting our mind back. Yet, no matter how long we thought and discussed, we couldn't seem to figure out how to get the mind back without damaging it and ultimately shattering it.

Eventually No. 4 spoke up, "What if… what if we didn't bring it back?"

No.3, one of my more energetic minds, reacted to that comment like a startled slime, "What, you want to experience our mind shattering!?"

Everyone except 4,7 and 10 were nodding their terrified heads along with No.3.

No.4 brushed her hair back and said, "Hear me out. I've been observing No.12's stray thoughts for a while now, and I think I've come to some conclusions as to what it is exactly that's causing so much stress to No.12's mind."

We all knew that No.4 was one of the best psychic experts among us, so we all quieted down and listened to what she had to say.

No.4 continued, "Well, the simple breakdown of No.12 is this: First she has to translate her human thoughts into something the Golem's brain can handle. Second she has to catch any errors brought about during the Golem's processing of said poorly translated thoughts. And lastly she has to take what the Golem has processed and translate it back into something we can understand. These three processes obviously aren't too much of a problem on their own, we've done mental exercises like this many times before."

We all nodded along to No.4's explanation.

No.4 continued, "From what I've observed, the problem comes from the fact that No.12 has to do this thousands or hundreds of thousands of times in rapid succession due to the Golem's superior processing speed. This is because we have absolutely no experience translating our thoughts into what the Golem's mind can handle, thus resulting in many errors and forced restarts of thought kernels and other mental processes."

No.4 paused and brought her clasped hands in front of her while resting her elbows on the desk saying, "In essence, No.12 is trying to lift too much mental weight on her own. Maybe if we had stronger minds No.12 could handle the strain, or maybe if we had more experience translating our thoughts in this specific way we could reduce the amount of effort necessary. But we don't have either of these right now."

No.7 and 10 nodded along with an absent look on their faces as they took in No.4's observations, being the second and third best mental and psychic experts.

No.1 spoke up, "Alright, but this still doesn't explain why you said we shouldn't bring No.12 back?"

No. 4 shook her head, "Right, well I've come to the conclusion that if we sent more minds into the Golem to share the mental load, then No.12 might be able to take a rest and not be at risk of shattering anymore."

We all went quiet, before most of us turned towards either No.7 or No.10 to get their takes on this. Them being the ones that had the most understanding of the psychic field and the mind.

No.10 scratched their neck and looked at No.7 who was still looking 'up' at the floor from her position on the bed. No.10 spoke first saying, "What No.4 suggested would probably work?"

No.7 nodded with a grim look, though its impact was somewhat limited due to her current pose, "Hmm, yeah. But it's not guaranteed. What if we send more minds in and it's not enough to ease the strain? Then we would risk multiple minds shattering rather than just No.12."

We all turned our heads to No.1, none of us really having anything to say after No.7 spoke.

No.1 was the best strategic thinker and the most broadly learned of us all, so she tended to be the one with the final say when it came to big decisions like this.

No.1 looked down in deep thought while slowly pacing, and didn't speak up for quite a while, eventually she looked up and around saying, "It's definitely a risk, but I think it's worth it. If nothing else, the pain of multiple minds shattering will be just as bad as only one of them shattering, right?"

We all had a grim look on our faces at the dim thought. We obviously couldn't be sure if multiple minds shattering would be the same as just one shattering, but we also couldn't say that it wouldn't either.

We could all only slowly nod along and decide which among us would be sent over to help stabilize No.12. We didn't have to worry about losing any memories or anything if any of our minds shattered, because our Talent [Collective Self] kept a copy of all of us individually. So if any of us did end up shattering we would be able to come back with only a bit of effort.

In the end, it was No.4 and No.7 that decided to go. They were the most expert in these mental matters when it came to it, having been around for longer than No.10, and they decided that it would be good psychic training if nothing else. We decided to send two of us along at once, since we ultimately wanted to try and prevent any mind shattering, and having the two of them go along would allow No.12 to rest and recover without putting too much strain on the other two minds in the meantime.

With everything now decided, No.4 and No.7 didn't waste any time and sent their minds out towards the Golem, undergoing the same absorption and stretching that No.12 had experienced.

My nine other minds were observing everything through our main body's eyes, nervously wringing our hands or doing any other number of nervous actions. It was difficult to control which of our many different minds expressed ourselves externally when we were so nervous, so to any outside observer we probably looked like a nervous wreck, when in reality we were mostly just anticipating whether we would have to send more minds along or not.

Thankfully nobody was able to see me here, so my crazy looking behavior would go unobserved.

-Break-

A long while later, much longer than I had initially planned to stay here with this Golem, I was finally able to get the Golem moving and walking, though it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. In essence, I would have to shut off most of its senses and guide it along like a blind deaf person, and that was taking into consideration the fact that I had three separate minds all working together to try and handle everything required to get it to walk.

After No.7 and No.4 got comfortable in the Golem, No.12 had to rest and recover for about an hour before it was able to contribute to the functionality of the Golem. Even after all three were working together, there were some things that the Golem's brain just wasn't capable of handling without great strain on the three minds.

One of the things the Golem couldn't handle was facial recognition, something about it was just too complex for its brain it seemed. So I wouldn't be able to practice moving the Golem's body while looking at my original body, since it seemed it was automatic for my minds to try and recognize faces, and that wasn't something I was going to be able to turn off without a ridiculous amount of effort, which didn't seem even remotely possible within the time I needed to get this Golem up and moving.

I had had to seriously shift around my schedule in order to initially come here and pick the Golem up today, and I had only expected it to take at most a couple of hours at most to get it capable of walking and following me around to my next few appointments I had scheduled for today.

Unfortunately, getting the Golem up and running had almost completely failed, and I had to leave the Golem behind in the white room while I went out and took care of the other appointments I had scheduled for today. Though, on the plus side, my Golem body didn't have to close its eyes while it trained itself to walk.

Being a major shareholder of multiple successful companies was sometimes a very involved process, and today was one of those days. Thankfully I was able to leave the Golem behind without any problems, though I wouldn't be able to leave it here beyond midnight tonight, since I had only paid for the place where it was at, to hold it until then. Which meant that I either needed to get the Golem capable of walking by midnight, or get a wheelchair to wheel it out of there.

Getting a wheelchair would've been so much easier, but wheeling around someone that looked so similar to me wasn't a great option. My siblings definitely had me under surveillance, though that wouldn't extend into the secure facility that was holding the Golem, but if I wheeled out my Golem out of the facility then that would be like openly broadcasting a sign of weakness, and I didn't want to be seen as weak, especially not right now.

So I had to train with the Golem all day to try and get it to walk. The Golem was thankfully very sturdy and robust, if it hadn't been there would probably be noticeable damage from all of the falling and limb flailing I was doing while trying to get it walking smoothly. I had to spend multiple hours fumbling around and banging my head more than I'd like to count just trying to stand, and that was with three minds in the Golem.

By the time I was able to shakily walk it was already nighttime.

It would still probably be seen as a weakness since I was only able to walk shakily with the Golem's arm around my shoulder, but I could deal with that. The most important thing was that the Golem was up and moving, and I would be able to take it into the Dungeon of Tribulation now. Something that I had been delaying for quite a while waiting for the Golem to be ready. But now that I had it, I was going straight to the Dungeon. The Golem might be a bit of a liability at first, but there would be plenty of time to get used to it in the Dungeon.