Chapter 194: Don't be a peeping tom
Xi Zirui and Liao Min brainstorm for a while, but not five minutes later a stern-faced civil goddess approaches them with a thunderous scowl.
"If you are quite finished with whatever business brought you to the civil bureau, please leave," she says, the corners of her mouth pinched in annoyance. "Your voices carry."
She proclaims that last sentence as if it it is a searing indictment, and leaves in a flurry of billowing gauze robes.
Liao Min sighs, pointing towards her retreating back. "They're all like that." At Xi Zirui's confused look she elaborates, "Civil gods. They make you feel big, plodding and lumbering. Not to mention stupid."
While Liao Min is feeling sorry for herself Xi Zirui considers their options.
In the very first world, Li Siqi seemed very taken with the hyper-competent, no nonsense Director Liao.
It stands to reason that she would also appreciate those qualities in their original world.
Together with his own experience of successfully wooing a prickly Han Yu, time and time again, Xi Zirui thinks the two of them can put something together.
He drags Liao Min outside by the sleeve. "Here's what we're going to do..."
---
After an entire afternoon of work, Xi Zirui and Liao Min return to the civil bureu. As it becomes apparent Li Siqi has no intention of leaving, after night falls and all other gods except her leave the building.
Liao Min looks longingly at the single point of light trembling through the wax paper windows.
"She seems lonely," she says, misty-eyed.
Xi Zirui thinks she seems stubborn. Li Siqi has a wife waiting for her at home.
His husband isn't even on the same realm, nor his husband yet, for that matter.
He thinks she should have gotten over her bruised pride a long time ago and tried to clear things up with Liao Min. To him it doesn't make sense to avoid the person you're married to forever, instead of confronting them about the hurtful things they said.
But Li Siqi's loss is Xi Zirui's gain, otherwise he wouldn't have the opportunity to worm his way into hers and Liao Min's confidence.
He gestures at Liao Min to go ahead, and walk towards that single point of light on the otherwise dark building.
"Ok Ni Ni play some romantic guqin cover from bilibili," he says, as soon as Liao Min is far away enough not to hear him.
Ni Ni chimes. "Host realizes that it would be in the interests of Ni Ni's mission to let the Empress go ahead with her plan and prevent the events that lead Host to the Transmigrator 4000 from ever happening, right?"
"Yes," Xi Zirui says, his tone frosty.
"Ni Ni is just mentioning this so that Host knows to be grateful for Ni Ni's help, that's all," she says, her voice coming out as a high-pitched squeak in the face of Xi Zirui's killing aura.
"I'll be grateful the moment you actually prove helpful," he hisses.
Not a moment later, the melodious and mournful cry of the guqin rings out through the empty courtyard, no doubt reaching Li Siqi's ears inside the civil bureu's building.
Liao Min has positioned herself below the window and is ready for her queue.
Which means she stands up to her full height around the same time Li Siqi opens the window with a bang, sticking her head out and asking, "Who is playing the guqin outside?"
It's a credit to Liao Min's military training that she doesn't make a sound even while clutching her forehead in obvious pain.
Xi Zirui ducks behind a shrub so that Li Siqi can't see him.
She looks around the courtyard, and eventually notices Liao Min making her way gingerly from behind the window.
"General Liao?" She looks horrified at the sight of Liao Min's bruised forehead. "What are you doing here?"
"I understand that Officer Li has been busy lately, so I've decided to surprise her with a homecooked meal."
Li Siqi's grand announcement is somewhat ruined by her hunched posture, and her grimace of pain.
The homecooked meal is what Xi Zirui and Li Siqi have been laboring over for the entire afternoon. Their paltry cooking skills put together manage to add up to something halfway decent, if not impressive.
But Li Siqi has probably been practicing inedia(1) for the past few weeks so she shouldn't be picky about the food someone else brings her.
"Oh," it's all she says.
Xi Zirui wants to jump out of his bush and ask her what's the matter with her, but as that would ruin his plan -- stays quiet instead.
Luckily Liao Min is quick on her feet. She stretches out an arm towards Li Siqi who looks at it like it is a poisonous snake, ready to strike at any moment.
"You want me come down from the window?" she asks, voice wavering.
Liao Min nods, boldly. "Romantic," it's all she says.
Xi Zirui remembers giving her a much lengthier explanation, but it's better to take a shortcut than to meander through a field of pretty flowers with no destination in sight.
Gingerly, Li Siqi takes Liao Min's hand and climbs up on the windowsill. She still looks uncertain about the whole thing, and like she doesn't think Liao Min is all there.
Instead of helping Li Siqi jump down from the window Liao Min takes the opportunity to pick her up behind the knees and carry her down, rather ungainly and more akin to a sack of rice than a dignified princess carry.
"I was on the ground floor," Li Siqi says, as soon as Liao Min deposits her on the ground.
Liao Min chances a worried look towards the shrubs where Xi Zirui is hiding. He can't do anything and risk revealing himself.
She's on her own now.
Deciding to overstep her blunder at gallantry, Liao Min ignores Li Siqi's remark and guides her towards the side of the civil bureau's building where she has laid out a cloth over which the spread of food she and Xi Zirui made is arranged.
"I thought that since you wouldn't go home, I'd bring home to you," Liao Min says, taking a seat and motioning Li Siqi to do the same.
Liao Min might be clumsy in her seduction but Li Siqi is still touched by the gesture. Xi Zirui can tell even at a distance.
Liao Min makes an entire production out of serving Li Siqi, filling up a bowl for her with the best cuts of meat and pouring her a cup of fragrant plum wine.
Li Siqi accepts the food with a shell-shocked expression. "What is the meaning of this?" she asks, looking at the bowl Liao Min places in her hand as if she expects it to strike at any moment.
For a moment it seems as if Liao Min isn't going to answer her, but after filling up a bowl for herself, she inhales deeply and then says, "I have the utmost respect, and admiration for you, and would like the two of us to experience the intimacy of any married couple."
"Oh."
Liao Min clears her throat. "I also want to apologize if any of my words have caused offense, I swear it wasn't my intention."
"Oh," Li Siqi says, again, this time lower.
Liao Min still isn't finished with her heartfelt confessions, rearing up for another go.
Xi Zirui worries that perhaps he emphasized the importance of proper communication so much that she decided to go ahead and have a monologue explaining her side of things.
Very properly, Li Siqi holds her bowl from the base and sets down her bowl beside her folded knees. "May I kiss you?" she asks, equally properly.
That shuts Liao Min right up.
The last thing Xi Zirui sees, before beating a tactful retreat, is Li Siqi pushing Liao Min down on the grass and climbing on top of her.
---
Xi Zirui reaches his rooms feeling hopeful about his chances of getting more information about his tribulation's destination from Li Siqi. But he's nothing if not polite, so he's going to let the two of them have their moment and will come knocking on their door bright and early the next day.
When he lays his head down to sleep he finds that some of the anxiety he'd been ignoring the whole day is now closing down on him. Making his throat feel tight and his breathing slow.
Seeing Liao Min and Li Siqi overcome their differences only serves as a cruel reminder that Han Yu isn't here with him, and if his grandmother has her way -- never will again.
Xi Zirui is determined to get him and the life they've built together back, but what can his determination do in the face of insurmountable odds?
Sleep, when it comes, isn't restful. Xi Zirui twists and turns the entire night, plagued by dark dreams, and wakes up with the wan morning light shining down on him, making his bleary eyes sting.
He sits up in bed gingerly, and notices for the first time, the second presence in his room.
"You've been acting odd lately," Bai Mi says, from her seat at his vanity. "I want to know what's going on."
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(1) Daoist practice where a person can meditate to the point of no longer needing food to survive (please don't try this)