Prophecy Approved Companion

There was a collective gasp at the Hunter’s dramatic statement.

“Sexy Screamy Spider Briar!” Qube exclaimed. “What are you talking about? You can’t go in there alone! He’ll slaughter you! Also, we don’t know if the next room is where he actually is. Or how to get to the next room.”

“You must not be rash, sweet Hunter,” Sencha Bard said worriedly. “You cannot hope to defeat him on your own.”

The giant arachnid flicked her hair over her shoulder.

“Don’t worry about me,” she said, before pausing. She looked at Definitely Bad Guy, who was attempting to examine one of the many crowns Squiggles was wearing. Squiggles kept taking this as an invitation to grab onto his arms and squeeze as hard as she wanted.

“I dislike this,” Definitely Bad Guy informed the excited sharktopus. “Please desist. You are interfering with my research.”

Squiggle did not desist.

“My Mage,” Sexy Screamy Spider Briar said with a coo, “how sure are you that the Evil Emperor can hear anything that happens in his castle?”

The Mage stopped struggling with the team pet for a second. “Reasonably certain,” he said, and Squiggles tightened her hug. “I would advise against speaking anything you wish to remain unknown to him within these walls.”

The Hunter put a playful claw against her cheek. “Well,” she said, popping her abdomen to the side, “then I guess you’ll all just have to trust me, won’t you? This isn’t exactly my first time getting what I want.”

Had she gone mad? Trust her with a plan they hadn’t been able to discuss, against the most powerful force of Evil in the world? Was she planning on seducing him? Was he even capable of being seduced? Well, obviously he was romantic, given Definitely Bad Guy had thought that she was the Evil Emperor’s concubine at one point.

Thinking about the love-life of the man who was as close to pure Evil as one could get was a little bit nauseating.

“Of course I trust you!” Qube said, forcing herself to smile. “So, that’s one plan. Does anyone else have any plans? Or any idea how we get out of this room?”

“We could attempt to have the guardians each give half of their life force to a gem,” Definitely Bad Guy said from underneath a pile of tentacles. He’d given up on attempting to get a hold on any of the crowns, and was instead using Squiggles’ hug as a chance to examine them up close. “I see no sign of any curse, active or latent, in any of these crowns. While I do not know his reasoning for giving them to us, they do not appear to be dangerous.”

“Any words of wisdom from our fearless leader?” Sencha Bard asked the Chosen One. The Hero squinted at the Bard.

“Are you making fun of me?” he asked suspiciously. “Normally when you say [snacks] like that you’re being super sarcastic, but that actually sounded sincere.”

To everyone’s surprise, Sencha Bard smiled.

“No, Chosen One, I’m not mocking you. Time and again, you’ve proven your dedication to our cause. What kind of gentleman would I be if I were to repay your courage with veiled criticisms?”

The Hero squinted harder.

“That sounds very suspicious,” he said. Sencha Bard’s smile softened.

“I may have phrased it in such a way to amuse myself, but I am sincere in my regard for you,” he said. He bowed his head slightly, making the giant feather on his hat bounce. “Could Definitely Bad Guy’s half-powered gem plan work? We would only have five gems, to his fourteen.”

That was right. No guardians had appeared from either the Time Temple, nor the Shadow Temple. It was possible that whoever was behind those doors hadn’t been infected with [The Bard’s Ballad], but given neither of those Temples had really had guardians, per se, the chances of being able to get more gems from them were rather slim.

Unless the Evil Emperor had just left copies of the gems inside? Possibly in a trap, to try and push them in the direction he wanted?

The Chosen One, accepting Sencha Bard’s regard with good grace, rubbed the back of his head as he thought.

“Worth a shot,” he said at last. “I feel like we have to have the gems to progress out of this room. See how there’s etchings above the doorways? Kinda feels like that’ll change once we get them.”

Qube nodded. Yet another way the Evil Emperor had attempted to influence them into doing what he wanted!

“I don’t think we need the gems to defeat him,” she said. She was just about to explain her theory about how the Temples had been designed to introduce false choices that they needed to think outside the box to solve, and had been training them to realise that they didn’t actually need the gems, when the Chosen One interrupted her.

“We’ll definitely need the gems to defeat him,” he said. “You always do.”

“Oh,” Qube said, deflating.

“I fear that may be true,” Sencha Bard said with a grimace. “All stories have the band of heroes using ancient artefacts or other such powerful things to defeat the final villain.”

“Well, what if we made our way into the dungeon? Since Definitely Bad Guy damaged the shield stopping us from getting into the dungeon, maybe we could find a treasure trove there!” Qube doggedly continued.

“Oh yeah,” the Chosen One said. “That Wizard thing did have us make that choice. It’s gotta pay off around now, right? Why else would they include it?”

“While those at the Wizards’ Academy are wise indeed, I doubt they would have been capable of knowing the exact configuration of the castle, and how we would approach it,” Definitely Bad Guy said. He’d managed to extract himself from Squiggles by giving her his science anatomy book. “As to what we are likely to encounter, I am relatively familiar with the layout of this place. Normally that door —” he pointed to the Time Temple door, “opens into the main hallway, with the grand staircase leading up to the throne room and several offshoots that lead to the guard rooms, and the chambers of various castle residents.”

“It would certainly be worth exploring the castle before confronting the vile villain,” Sencha Bard said, pulling out his lute and thoughtfully strumming it. “Perhaps there are even fair maidens trapped in the dungeon, or beautiful women forced to serve in the castle.”

Qube gave the Bard a look. He gained a sheepish expression.

“‘Tis common in the tales,” he said weakly. “Evil tyrants are always imprisoning fair maidens, or having beautiful women floating about the castle, just waiting for a Hero to help them betray the foul oaf.”

“Well, I suppose our Mage here was a beautiful man floating about the castle, wanting to betray the Evil Emperor,” Sexy Screamy Spider Briar said with a smile.

“There are several women working in the castle,” Definitely Bad Guy said stiffly. “I cannot speak to their appearance.”

“Do the doors normally have the gems etched on them?” Qube asked, attempting to spare the now very red Mage Advisor any more embarrassment. “And are they normally full of traps?”

“Yes,” Definitely Bad Guy replied after a moment’s contemplation. “I have never been inside them, so I cannot speak to their contents, but I have noted the markings around these doors before in my visits to the castle.”

Well! That made even less sense than Qube thought! Had the Evil Emperor always been planning on using this trick? Or had the rooms had a different purpose originally, perhaps portals to the various guardians so the Royals could easily visit them? That would certainly help with communication. Maybe that was how the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess always knew that they’d completed the Temples before the party had even arrived at Cobbletown!

Assuming, of course, that they’d managed to sneak into the castle to do so. And really, if they had, then why hadn’t they offered the Chosen One and crew the option to teleport right back to Cobbletown?

Although while it was possible that the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess had been able to sneak into the castle in their hooded disguises, trying to picture the adventuring party, with the extremely distinctive Sexy Screamy Spider Briar and anything but discreet Hero making it out of the castle without being detected quickly showed Qube why, if the Royals had used the rooms as portals, they hadn’t told the Chosen One about it.

“We should try opening the exit,” Qube suggested, gesturing at the door Definitely Bad Guy had indicated was the normal way out. “See if we can open it without a gem.”

She wasn’t going to ignore the Chosen One’s statement that they needed the gems to defeat the Evil Emperor. When it came to adventuring, he was never wrong. But she couldn’t let go of the idea that there was another way. Maybe it was the feeling of lightning in her mind that made her want to figure out another way. It would be easier to just do what was expected. Safer to just try the gem idea, and not fight it.

But doing what was expected of her no longer brought the joy it used to.

Her hand stole to her mouth as she realised what she was thinking.

“Chosen One,” she said, her eyes wide with revelation.

“What’s up?” the Hero asked, looking slightly taken aback as he registered her expression. Her face was lit up, excitement practically bursting from her.

“I don’t want to use the gems to get out of the room, or to defeat the Evil Emperor.” She took a deep breath, and smiled.

“I want to break our quest!”

---

The Chosen One gaped her at, slack jawed, before suddenly rushing forward. He grabbed her, and spun around, twirling her.

“My student!” he cried, “I’m so proud of you!”

“S-stop spinning me!” Qube said, feeling dizzy at the speed he was going.

The Chosen One stopped, and immediately staggered. “Oof, yeah, not great,” he said with a gulp. He abruptly dropped Qube. She landed on her feet with a thump.

“Gentle with her!” Sexy Screamy Spider Briar snapped, scurrying up and checking over Qube. “Are you all right, my love? That brute wasn’t too rough with you, was he?”

“I’m fine,” Qube said, shaking her head, which did nothing to clear the dizziness.

“So tell me, honourable pupil, how do you wish to break the gems?” the Chosen One asked, still glowing with joy.

“I’m not your— well, I suppose I did learn to break things from watching you,” Qube found herself unable to refute the Hero’s claim of mentorship. “But we’re learning from each other, so it doesn’t count as me being your pupil! Not unless you’re also my pupil.”

“Your status as my protege aside,” the Chosen One said, waving away her protests, “how did you want to do this?”

“Well…” Qube trailed off as she realised that, while she was nearly bursting with the desire to subvert expectations, she didn’t actually have a clear idea on how to do it. Having the guardians half-fill the gems was a start, but she wanted to do away with the gems altogether.

Then she remembered.

“The chickens!” she said, clapping her hands together. “All we have to do is find the chickens, and we’ll find where the Evil Emperor has hidden the gems!”

“What makes you think he’s hidden them?” the Chosen One asked.

“Of course he’s hidden them!” Qube asserted. “These are powerful gems, fed by the guardians' very life force! He wouldn’t just leave them lying around.”

“He could be wearing them,” the Hero pointed out. “Like on his own crown, or a gauntlet or something.”

But Qube was on a roll, and wasn’t about to let anything stop her.

“Why would he have the only things capable of defeating him in plain sight? Even if they’re powerful, everyone knowing that he’s wearing them would make it easy for someone to directly attack the gems, or use a spell on them. If we find that all the chickens have gathered around him, then we’ll know he’s got all the gems on him, and we can formulate a plan.”

This was assuming that the chickens had remained committed to their mission, and not gotten bored and wandered off. Or that the Evil Emperor hadn’t split his horde of gems. How many chickens had there been in the original squad?

There was always the possibility that the Evil Emperor had, in his arrogance, attacked the flock following him. If he had attempted to hurt the chickens, then it was possible that he was already defeated.

No one who messed with chickens got away lightly.

If the chickens were all in one place, and he was ignoring them, maybe Squiggles could persuade them to steal the gems and run off with them?

The problem was that none of them knew what, exactly, it was the gems did. It was hard to break something when you didn’t know what it did, where it was, and how to break it. But Qube was determined to keep going.

“Worst comes to worst, then you can use your [Save Scum Attack],” she said. “Then we can use the information gathered to try and plan a new attack. No matter what, we’re going to win!”