Prologue Story

Time passed quickly.

The mentoring lessons also progressed smoothly.

Thanks to Senior Ji-hyun’s wholehearted assistance, my combat skills improved just a li~ttle.

However, my friends improved much more.

I guess I really don’t have much talent for combat.

Even so, Senior Ji-hyun consoled me, saying I had a talent for applying techniques.

What surprised me was that the strict Senior Ji-hyun actually “consoled” me.

On the last day of mentoring training, after having an early dinner with the seniors, I stopped by the library alone and happened to meet Shia.

Shia was holding a pile of books in his hands, as if he was planning to study.

When Shia saw me, he froze for a moment.

I glanced at the titles of the books in his hands and asked,

“What’s this? Borrowing so many books?”

“Ah…”

Shia seemed flustered for a moment but hesitated and replied,

“Well… I want to develop… a unique magic.”

“I see.”

Considering the Kang Ye-seul incident and how our classmates were starting to ponder developing unique magic, it made sense.

Shia’s talents weren’t inferior to the others, so it seemed likely he could develop magic within this year or next.

The school library was nearly empty.

Shia briefly scanned his surroundings and asked in a low voice,

“Today… the sparring training with the seniors ended, right?”

“Yeah.”

I smiled briefly.

Shia stared at my face in silence.

“Last time, you know, when Min-hee and the others… skipped training.”

“Oh, yeah. That did happen.”

“At that time… it was just you and Han-soo who went, right?”

“Huh? Yeah.”

As I answered, I felt a strange sensation.

My heart began to pound and tighten as if I was on the verge of facing something ominous.

Ah, I know this feeling.

It’s the feeling you get when you realize something has “gone wrong.”

“I heard Han-soo followed you back then… so why did you go to train alone?”

Something felt off.

I ignored the cold sweat trickling down my hand and replied calmly,

“Because I wanted to train.”

“…Min-hee said it was really hard.”

“That’s true, but I enjoy magic. I want to learn everything I can do with it. Even if combat isn’t my thing.”

“If it’s so hard that Min-hee found it exhausting, was it still worth it for you?”

I laughed at his words.

“Yeah!”

“…”

“Hardships are natural. You can’t gain anything without effort. Even talent has its limits. And I like putting in the effort.”

Though the lights were on, the surroundings somehow seemed dark.

Shia, who had been staring at me, turned away.

“You’re amazing.”

I noticed his voice trembling.

“You… you’re amazing. How…”

In the silence, the sound of footsteps echoed distinctly.

Shia turned his back to me and walked farther away.

I placed a hand over my chest, feeling a tightening sensation.

The chain of the necklace around my neck jingled as it swayed.

I grasped the hidden ring inside my collar tightly.

I felt strange.

Very, deeply strange.

☆

Even after the training with the seniors ended, I often kept in contact with my master to continue sparring or combat training.

Sometimes, I sought advice about magic or pondered ways to use illusions for attacks.

I tried to come up with attacks that could only be executed with illusions, not other elemental magic.

However, combat still wasn’t my preference, so I continued to practice non-combat techniques more often.

Autumn passed, and winter arrived.

During that time, the accessories we made during club activities steadily increased, including earrings.

In-ha and I promised to get our ears pierced on January 1st.

Then one day, as the Mage Rank Exam approached, Min-hee brought up something.

“Shia has been acting strange lately.”

“What do you mean?”

Han-soo asked indifferently.

Min-hee frowned.

“These days, it feels like he’s avoiding me when I talk to him. How should I put it… it seems like he’s uncomfortable with me. Anyway, something feels off.”

I blinked my eyes wide in a daze. …Ah.

“Either way, it’s annoying. It feels weird.”

I suddenly pulled out my phone and scrolled through it.

A text conversation I had with Shia came to mind.

『Me: Great news!

I got the gold award in the writing contest! ^^v』

『Yoon Shia: Really? That’s amazing^^ Of course, Eun-ha…

And sorry for the late reply…』

What was I thinking at the time?

Ah, I thought Shia had grown distant from us.

I must have been so absorbed in training, worrying about skill gaps with my friends, and focusing solely on magic that I hadn’t noticed.

Am I really… an idiot?

How could I be so indifferent and selfish?

‘This personality of mine must have been why I didn’t form deep friendships in my past life, huh?’

I’m aware of it… yet I still end up thinking like this.

If Shia had already let us go, if he had already grown distant from us, then it couldn’t be helped.

It wasn’t like this with In-ha, but…

But what if I someday treat my other friends like this?

If they try to grow distant from me, will I just let them go?

My face twisted in anguish.

No, I wanted to stay close to Shia too.

But if they said they hated me, I’d probably let them go.

That thought scared me.

I pressed my lips tightly together.

I didn’t know what to say to anyone.

Above all, Min-hee’s comment that Shia seemed to be avoiding her weighed on my mind.

If it had just naturally grown distant over time, it would be fine. Relationships are like that.

But if he was deliberately avoiding us… only one thing came to mind.

‘Talent.’

If that’s what it was, I think I could understand Shia.

It’s a miserable thing.

Just being together can make you feel inferior and erode your self-esteem.

Enduring that is incredibly difficult.

I know the moments when I feel miserable about myself.

I understand it well because I’ve thought of myself as below average even without direct comparisons to others.

That sense of alienation, that loneliness—I… if it were me…

I pressed my lips tightly shut.

For the next few days, I mulled over my uneasiness.

Though Min-hee only brought up Shia that one time, she laughed as if everything was normal afterward.

And then, one day, after school, as we were heading to Min-hee’s house, we unexpectedly ran into Shia.

“…”

In that moment, I felt a rising uneasiness in my chest and kept my mouth shut in silence.

But Min-hee… Min-hee smiled brightly as if she had forgotten what she said.

“Shia, long time no see!”

“……”

“Hey, are you really doing this? Even leaving me behind on the way to school. Seriously, you’ve been acting so… lately…”

Suddenly, Shia and I locked eyes.

Shia frowned, turned his head away, and tried to pass us.

But Min-hee grabbed Shia’s arm.

“Can’t you just listen?”

At first, I thought Min-hee was acting as cheerful as usual.

But she wasn’t.

Min-hee glared at Shia with cold, furious eyes.

“I mean it. Why have you been avoiding me lately? Don’t you realize you’ve been acting weird? Actually, you’ve been strange for a while now, looking at us with that weird gaze… and…”

“Let go!”

Shia lowered his head and sharply pushed Min-hee’s hand away.

We were taken aback.

Still, Min-hee and I tried to approach Shia as calmly as possible.

Though I was upset, I stayed quiet because I’d somewhat anticipated this.

Min-hee, on the other hand, looked at Shia with a gaze that strained to suppress her anger.

“I don’t want to be with you anymore! That’s why I avoided you! Satisfied now?”

If we had just drifted apart slowly, that would’ve been better.

If it had been because our personalities didn’t match, or because Shia had made closer friends, then we could’ve smiled and greeted each other again someday.

I wished it wasn’t like this.

Biting my lip, I rubbed my chest.

…I hoped it wasn’t like this.

“Why?”

Min-hee asked, her voice trembling.

“For what reason?”

At last, Shia raised his head.

His tear-filled eyes were distorted with pain.

Shia clasped his hands over his head.

“I know… Min-hee, I know you’re not bad… I know… But I can’t be with you anymore…”

“……”

Min-hee slowly lowered her outstretched hand.

I quietly stared at Min-hee’s back.

“The more I talk with other friends, the more I realize how amazing you are.

Before even entering elementary school, you developed magic…

Then the school introduced personal tutors just for you…

And you trained in combat with high school student council seniors…

No matter how hard I try, I can never do what you all accomplish so easily. Always, all the time.”

Shia’s eyes, shadowed with gloom, trembled with sorrow.

His voice was soaked with tears.

I was dumbstruck, fully grasping the weight of it.

This is what it feels like to be left speechless.

“It’s strange, isn’t it? At first, I didn’t mind.

But the more it went on, the more distant you seemed…

I got frustrated and angry… Why is it always just you? That thought kept eating at me…”

Shia lowered the hand he had clenched against his chest.

Then he glared at us with a fierce look in his eyes.

“That’s why I can’t stand it anymore! I know it’s not your fault… It’s just… Every time I’m with you, I don’t want to be with you anymore.

For the first time, I realized this.”

Shia looked down at his own hands.

Drip. Tears fell from Shia’s eyes.

“This is what it feels like to be miserable.”

…Ah.

Those words struck me deeply.

I’d wondered if a day like this might come someday.

Everyone has pride and self-esteem, and that’s not exclusive to adults—children have it too.

Pride can erode little by little as one grows.

But feelings of inferiority, of misery, begin to consume you the moment you feel them.

Whether child or adult, when faced with someone they perceive as unequal, they either feel pride or inferiority.

I never felt that because I’ve always recognized my own low self-esteem.

From the start, I’ve been alone.

I stood by myself, watching others from a distance… This was an issue even before considering equality.

But Shia is different.

Shia… is still a child, and not alone yet.

How many relationships can truly endure alienation and loneliness while remaining equal?

There are relationships where it doesn’t matter, of course.

I am this way, and they are that way.

But how nice would it be if everything could end with just those words?

At Shia’s final remark, my chest sank like a heavy stone.

“Shia, you…!”

Before Han-soo could say anything, Shia murmured bitterly with a wounded expression and turned away.

“You and I are just too different.”

What was natural to me was not natural to him.

Tick-tock.

Time passed.

We sat around in Min-hee’s room, sprawled out in silence.

The shock was immense.

But there was nothing we could say.

Eventually, Min-hee was the first to speak.

A sob, a hiccup, escaped her.

I turned to look at her with blurred vision.

Han-soo cautiously broke the silence in a heavy voice.

“…Hey.”

“I just… thought Shia and I were… close because we’re in different classes…!

Sniff… I didn’t know… Shia was feeling like that…!

Hic…! Waaaah!”

Min-hee hugged her knees and broke down in tears.

Did Shia say it was miserable?

We felt miserable too.

I hugged my knees and lowered my head.

This was the first time I’d felt so utterly miserable.

‘But… then… what about us, who had to hear that from a close friend…?’

I buried my face in my knees and squeezed my eyes shut.

My chest ached, pounding painfully.

The same was true for my friends, I was sure.

Of course.

He was truly a close friend…

But even so, Min-hee must feel it the most.

We had only been close to Shia for three years since starting this school.

But Min-hee had naturally been with Shia since they were young.

Now, she had lost such a friend.

How must that feel?

I couldn’t even imagine.

Min-hee cried until Senior Ji-hyun came back.

When he did, Min-hee stopped crying but holed herself up in a corner of the room.

She clearly didn’t want to tell Senior Ji-hyun about this situation.

I understood her feelings.

That’s how we began to drift apart from Shia completely.

For a while, we were all deeply gloomy.

Teacher Jun-hwi and my master pried, asking if something had happened to us.

Min-hee’s condition was especially bad.

So much so that Senior Ji-hyun came to find me specifically.

Despite the Mage Rank Exam being less than four days away, he took the time to call me.

“What exactly happened?

Min-hee… being this down… is incredibly rare.”

Senior Ji-hyun asked, his tone filled with worry.

I pursed my lips tightly in front of him.

Should I tell him?

No, I decided not to.

Even though he’d find out eventually, not yet.

Not when even I hadn’t come to terms with it.

Min-hee was struggling to process her own emotions too.

If I told Senior Ji-hyun now, then what?

Once, Chunho oppa told me stories about his and senior Ji-hyun’s childhood.

Senior Ji-hyun could understand our feelings, but he wouldn’t know Shia’s perspective.

Probably none of our friends, except maybe me, could guess it.

Of course, even if I told him, senior Ji-hyun wouldn’t blame Shia.

But if we confronted this now…

I ran a hand through my hair.

The truth is, the one feeling the most miserable right now is Shia.

It’s Yoon Shia himself, who said those words aloud.

“Senior Ji-hyun…”

“Yes.”

“Well… This is a personal issue… I don’t want to burden you with it before the Rank Exam.

I’ll tell you later, after things settle down. I’m sorry.”

I bowed my head and quickly turned to run away.

It was so unlike me.

I heard his voice calling out behind me, but I didn’t turn back.

I ran as hard as I could.

Thanks to magic and consistent training, my body was strong enough to sprint at full speed for almost 20 minutes.

Of course, I was out of breath.

I swallowed down my gasping breaths.

“It hurts…”

I hadn’t felt this pain of drifting apart from a friend in a long time.

“It’s suffocating…”

It was so suffocating, it was driving me mad.