Princess Fox

Fun fact: if you come up with a name on the spot while putting barely any thought into it, you’ll come to regret it. What kind of idiot would call themselves Princess Fox?! At least swap it around! Fox Princess sounded much more reasonable. But no, my dumbass just had to try and act all cool, pretending to already have a super name, and now I was stuck with this.

Luckily, Fractal had only stared at me for a few seconds before accepting it. Yup, I wasn’t an idiot. It… it was all part of the act! I was pretending to be a dumb powerless civilian while I had some secret finding superpowers! Except that was also an act, and I actually had no superpowers and was just a dumb powerless civilian!

Huh… so in the end, I wasn’t pretending at all, was I…?

Anyway… I worked for a supervillain now. Despite what that might sound like, it was way better than I thought it would be. The threats about using me as a test subject for his guns was just an intimidation tactic. He actually offered me a proper salary and even an office inside his secret base. He didn’t even ask me to reveal my true identity to him.

“Threats and intimidation can only get you so far. If you want to keep loyalty, you have to show respect and keep your employees happy,” he said.

The heck? Why were all the villains so damn reasonable? Weren’t they supposed to be the bad guys? That’s what the media always said! But in reality, Iron Pack was the most gentlemanly woman I’d ever met, and Fractal was an infinitely better boss than that ass back in the retail store!

“Anyway, keep doing what you were doing. Let me know as soon as you have any leads on the location of her base.”

Ah, crap. He might have been a decent boss, but he’d said he was after her, hadn’t he? I didn’t want to put Iron Pack in danger… but it would feel dirty if I didn’t do the job I was paid for… ughhhh… 

Dammit, I was such a fraud! Not only was I pretending to be a girl, but I was also pretending to have superpowers now! And I even got hired because of these non-existent superpowers!

“Oh, but for now, it’s getting quite late, I’m gonna let you go home.”

He even insisted on reasonable working hours! Was he trying to kill me with guilt?!

“A-alright…”

“It’s Friday… well, you don’t need to come here on the weekend, but if you make any progress, I would be very pleased. I’m expecting you to come on Monday, though.”

Free weekends?! Was I really talking to a supervillain?!

Oh, and guess what? Those rough-looking goons? Yeah, those were actually also really nice. Rob was a loving father and a husband, Mike practiced the piano in his spare time, and Ken volunteered in a dog shelter!

This was all wrong! They were supposed to be evil muscleheads! Why were they making me empathize with them?!

“Here, this way, Princess.”

God, that gentle smile on that scarred bald head just felt so wrong! And please don’t hold the door open for me while calling me a princess! I already regretted naming myself Princess Fox!

We left the base. The trio of disturbingly nice men escorted me through the maze and outside of the perimeter. They even smiled and waved at me as I left. I reluctantly waved and smiled back at them. Yes, smiled, not cringed or grimaced, smiled. Shut up.

I let out a deep sigh as I left the apocalyptic part of the city. I had much to think about. So naturally, I decided to not think about any of it and fished out my phone out of the hoodie to distract myself.

That was a bad idea. I unlocked it only to be greeted by several missed calls and messages from Troy, Kelly, and Miranda. I had a strange sense of deja vu at that moment. Maybe I should unmute it next time. Although it would have been awkward if my phone rang while I was tied to that chair.

I let out another sigh and dialed Troy’s number. After a few rings, he picked it up.

“Oh my god! Are you alright?!”

What an exaggerated reaction. Did he know I’d been kidnapped by a villain again?

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s up?” I chirped at him.

“Well… you usually go straight home after work. And you weren’t answering calls, so I thought you got yourself kidnapped by a villain again or something.”

I winced.

“What? Ridiculous. Why would I get myself kidnapped again?”

“... never mind. You’re okay then? Where are you? Do you need me to drive you back home or something?

“Nah, I’ll walk back, it’s cool.” I paused for a second, trying to figure out what to say. “I, uh, I got a new job.” Not even a lie.

“Wait what? A new job?”

“Yeah, I was getting sick of that retail store, so I took a day off and went to an interview today.”

The perfect plan formed in my head. Quit my old job and have all the time in the world to search for Iron Pack. Or rather, that would have been my new job. I just had to figure out a way to not let Fractal harm Iron Pack once I found her… okay, I could do this.

“Umm… I don’t know how to say this. I kinda… rummaged through your room when I was looking for you. And I noticed certain clothes were missing from there… did you go to a job interview while wearing that?”

Oh, dammit! He noticed my Aster outfit was gone. Argh, what should I say? I couldn’t say I tossed it away and then walk back home wearing it…

“It’s, um, a requirement to wear it there.” Okay, good! Still hadn’t lied! 

Troy on the other end fell silent. 

“Dude… what kind of job requires you to do something like that? Are you sure you’re okay?”

Argh, damn him and his logic!

“I-I’m fine! God, you’re so annoying! I just want to look cute and innocent for the job, okay?! Wearing this was the best option I had!”

Again, a moment of silence. For a second, I thought I had offended him by yelling, but to my surprise, he replied with the gentlest possible voice I could imagine.

“Okay, Aster… I’m not gonna pry any further. Take your time, and, um, if you want to talk about it, I’m always here. I’m not really an expert on this kind of thing, but I’ll try my best.”

Suddenly, I felt really weirded out.

“Uh, sure... See you at home?”

“Yeah. Bye, Aster.” He hung up.

God, what had that been about? And I mean, of course, he wasn’t an expert at job hunting, he was still in college!