Primer for the Apocalypse

Of all the creatures I had to fight in the Realm Dungeon thus far, the crabs in the playroom were by far what I would consider the most ‘normal.’ Aside from having four claws instead of two, they looked almost exactly like oversized King Crabs with their thick, spiky appendages.

I couldn’t wait to see how they tasted.

Once we finished in the playroom, my party entered a long hallway filled with passenger cabins, most of which were empty or inaccessible. Those with hidden threats were usually limited to one or two creatures, and nothing we encountered was overly dangerous to the three of us.

We found a few small treasures along the way – some coins, a gemstone, and a ring of [Water Breathing]. Nothing was really amazing, though I did study the enchantment on the ring before handing it to Niall.

It didn’t make sense to keep such an item for myself, and Zavira refused to wear rings since she claimed they interfered with her crafting. Niall was the only logical recipient unless we sold it and split the money.

When we reached the end of the floor, we started to head deeper into the ship, but I sensed another party nearby. Not wanting to deal with any potential drama, we opted to head up instead. It ended up being a good decision since it led to an odd discovery that I hadn’t read anything about.

“Is that a spa?” I asked, recognizing the symbol on the translucent door.

Nothing about the room stood out to my senses, but it was also covered by a pretty amazing set of wards. Had we not physically run across the door, I might have overlooked the entire section of the ship. The wards were definitely better than the ones used to conceal the Hot Spring on the last floor, but I wasn’t sure if that was by design or not.

“That’s what the sign says,” Zavira said calmly as Niall stepped closer to look inside.

“There’s a dungeon golem at the desk, so it’s either a neutral area or some kind of trap,” Niall commented. “The golem doesn’t look built for combat, but neither of you mentioned anything like this being here.”

“I didn’t hear anything about it, and I should have if it was common knowledge,” Zavira said with a touch of defensiveness.

She’d been handling the social part of information gathering while I handled the academic portion. Niall talked to people he trained with occasionally but otherwise left the prep work to us. It was one of the things he was happy not to need to bother with anymore now that he had a party to rely on.

“It wasn’t in any books I read, either,” I offered.

“Maybe it’s a new change, like the mimics,” Niall proposed, glancing back at us.

I frowned at the reminder but quickly refocused. The spa might have been something new, though it seemed a bit odd for a dungeon feature like this to be located in the middle of a zone. I would have expected a community feature to be added to the central village instead.

“Do you think it’s the new Hot Spring?” I asked my two teammates.

Niall looked confused, but Zavira shook her head. “No. It’s definitely not the Hot Spring, though the wards hiding it are pretty strong,” she said thoughtfully. “Hot Springs aren’t run by the dungeon.”

“Is that a set rule?”

Zavira opened her mouth to answer but paused. “Maybe?” she said uncertainly. “I’ve certainly never heard of it happening, but there’s admittingly a lot I don’t know about the dungeon.”

“Why don’t we just ask the golem?” Niall asked before pressing the panel to open the door.

“My first guests! Welcome!” the mermaid-shaped golem said, spreading its four arms widely as we cautiously made our way inside.

“What is this place?” Niall asked, stepping up to the desk. His glaive was still in his hand, but the blade was pointed toward the ground.

“This is a new attraction, the first of its kind! It’s a full-service spa, backed by the dungeon itself!” the dungeon golem said proudly. “For challengers and locals willing to face the perils to get here, the facility offers a variety of beneficial treatments, including cosmetic upgrades and regeneration.”

“Does this… facility… take the place of the floor’s Hot Spring?” I asked.

“Why, yes, it does!” the golem said with an amused grin. “It’s a new change being tested here first. I expect similar facilities to eventually appear on every floor.”

I glanced at Zavira and noticed a curious expression on the other woman’s face. She looked almost… pleased by the information.

“How are reservations going to be handled?” I asked, thinking about how long it took to make full use of the last floor’s Hot Spring.

“Well, as the discoverers of the new feature, you three are automatically eligible for a discount on any services or treatments you’d like to partake in,” the golem said with a wide smile. “While you can certainly keep the information secret, spreading the word will increase that discount and grant you preferred status for reservations in this location.”

“Can we get a tour?” Zavira asked with a look of excitement.

I glanced at Niall, and he shrugged. That was enough of an agreement for the mermaid golem to swim over the desk and begin showing us around.

I still wasn’t sure how individual or sapient the golems were. Sometimes, I thought they were part of a hivemind of some sort since the golems shared knowledge across floors. Other times, they seemed like completely unique individuals.

Like the mergolem with its excitement to show off a new dungeon-run spa. It was completely different than Keeper and the other golems I’d interacted with thus far.

We followed the spirited mergolem as it showed us each of the features offered by the facility. The most notable features were massage rooms, cosmetic upgrade booths, a dry sauna – which was the only non-underwater feature available, and the regeneration-boosting Hot Spring.

The way the dungeon incorporated the Hot Spring was certainly different. Instead of having a spring-fed pool where people could soak, the spa had a portal leading to an underwater cave filled with regeneration-boosting spring water.

It was completely separated from the rest of the spa, and aside from the portal, there were no entrances or exits to the space. The entire cave was completely cut off, like a rift or a subdimension of some sort, meaning I couldn’t just Teleport back whenever I wanted to soak.

It was an unfortunate limitation, but at least I could Teleport to the spa without needing to traverse the mini-dungeon every time.

“There is absolutely no violence allowed in the spa, and that includes the Regeneration Cave,” the mergolem explained as we returned to the lobby. “Anyone who causes trouble will be banned from the facility, and if they persist, will be subject to expulsion from the dungeon. The dungeon rules have now been updated to include the change, but every visitor will also be reminded of the rule upon arrival.”

“I wonder how that’s going to go over with the families that think they run the dungeon,” Zavira mused with a smirk. She seemed a little too happy about the unknown families’ misfortune, and I was tempted to ask her about it.

Instead, I asked, “Should we take a break and test everything out?”

Niall didn’t look very interested in having a spa day, so I quickly elaborated on the Hot Spring’s long-term effects. The mergolem had briefly mentioned ‘regeneration enhancement,’ but it hadn’t outright stated the boosts were permanent.

“Yes. If the cave has that kind of benefit, it is worth the delay,” the Void Mage said with an interested glint in his eyes.

After checking the prices, we opted to pay for a five-month package for unlimited Regeneration Cave visits. Additional services were extra, but I wasn’t very interested in permanently changing my hair color or physical appearance.

Not seeing a reason to wait, we changed into the jumpsuits provided by the spa. They looked like shortie wetsuits from before the reintegration, but made out of a material that allowed water to pass through without restraint instead of blocking it.

They were also enchanted with [Water Breathing] to remove the necessity of wearing or carrying additional equipment.

“This is convenient,” Zavira said as the warm water made her hair dance around her. While the [Water Breathing] enchantment allowed us to breathe water, it did not make it easy to speak. Consequently, her voice came out warped and distorted.

We quickly shifted our efforts at communication to group text messages through our interfaces.

‘You seemed a bit too happy about the family's misfortune earlier,’ I messaged Zavira once we settled in. ‘What was that about?’

‘An annoyance from the other day,’ she replied with a smirk. ‘A spoiled brat tried to exert his family’s authority to get his way. He even did the whole ‘Do you know who I am?’ thing you make fun of sect elites for. It was pathetic, and I thought it fitting that a family that raised such a brat would experience a little misfortune. Maybe it would offset some of the karmic debt the brat has undoubtedly accrued.’

‘You encountered another one?’ I asked with a touch of amusement.

Zavira liked to go out and have fun, though she rarely did so while wearing her sect robes. Though she was clearly a half-dwarf, and some people liked to give her a hard time because of it, she was still attractive enough to draw unwanted attention.

In some ways, her mixed heritage made it worse since she was desirable, but people thought they could push her around. It was a weird dynamic that didn’t quite make sense to me.

‘Yes. This one claimed he was the heir to the Springheart family and thought that somehow granted him the right to do whatever he wanted without restraint. His family is known for trying to monopolize the Hot Springs on every floor,’ she messaged.

‘So THAT’s why you found the change so amusing,’ I replied, causing Zavira’s lips to start twitching. Niall was clearly following the conversation because he kept glancing at the two of us with a look of amusement.

‘Yes. Family karma. It’s fitting, I think.’

I reclined into a semi-horizontal position and considered what I’d learned about the floor dynamics since arriving at the dungeon. Master Kairos hadn’t covered any dungeon politics with me since, according to him, he’d been pretty out of touch with the goings-on of the dungeon for the last few centuries.

I was aware there were prominent families that often held positions of authority in the cities on various floors. A bit of research informed me that they were generally the only ones with a surname beyond that of the city or village, though, technically, anyone could declare one.

That whole dynamic was strange to me, given the dungeon setting.

After a few hours of restful Meditation, I Teleported us back to my apartment for the evening. Not wanting us to potentially miss out on some of the promised discounts, Zavira covertly spread word of the new spa’s location while I got to work copying the enchantment from the [Water Breathing] ring onto a ring and a necklace for me and Zavira, respectively.

We took our time exploring the mini-dungeon and slowly improving our regeneration rates over the next several months. Niall wasn’t too bothered by the routine since we were continually earning experience and gaining levels.

Our progression wasn’t quite as fast as he hoped, but it was still better than he would have likely managed on his own.