Pathbreakers: Multiclassing For Fun And Profit

6/21

Washington D.C.

5:45 PM

It took almost two hours to clear the 8th floor. Almost two hours of constant fighting. We all (aside from our snipers) took damage, most of us multiple times. Big Mama Kailani used some chants to heal us, though. I didn't need to fly and catch any one falling down the ravine. Ah well, there's always next time, I guess.

We finally get to the bottom of the ravine where we find... Piles of lizard man loot. I know we knocked a few dozen guys off the walls, but this is ridiculous. The lizard men must have been knocking each other off on the regular for this to be as big as it is. There's piles of Sacagaweas and lizard man hearts (ew.) The latter are mostly dried out but nobody wants to collect them.

Cappy shows off a Thief technique that lets her step on coins to collect them and she sweeps up several thousand bucks in about a minute. Henry, of course, finds the rare drop.

George Washington's Hat. Charisma +10, support aura range +100%. While stately at the time, it now makes you look like Captain Crunch.

He puts the tall, almost 2-dimensional hat on over his helmet and looks about as stupid as you can imagine.

“How do I look?” he asks, seriously.

Parker responds with the harsh truth. “You look like black Captain Crunch.” I didn't read out that part of the description to everyone, so she came to that joke all on her own.

We need another break after the constant fighting, and the entry to the 9th floor looks like a massive stone temple, which nobody is eager to explore. Our next fight will involve dragon-men, if the intel is right. Magical dragon-men.

We all break out our break supplies, drinks and some snacks, and we're all just sitting around saying nothing, enjoying the silence after the harsh sounds of battle.

Kailani asks the group, “so, what movie should someone watch to understand you better?”

“Eh, wot's that mean?” Quins asks.

“It's an icebreaker question,” Parker replies.

Henry nods and says, “we do this in Phoenix team sometimes after a fight. Go around and ask some innocuous small talk question to help normalize our minds and remind us that we're not just killing machines.” The man is covered in green blood spatter.

People look at me, like they need my permission to talk to each other. “Sure, I guess... Jarhead, maybe? The one about the bad time in the military? Most of my time was really boring, after all.”

“Interesting,” Kailani said in her deep voiced, motherly way.

“Enemy At The Gates,” comes Jose's answer. The WW2 sniper movie.

Mercy tilts her head and says, “not something about dads?”

“Those are usually garbage family comedies.” Jose replies.

Mercy says, “Chick Fight, it's this movie where a normal woman has to learn how to be a badass fighter.” She made me watch that with her. It was good.

“Malin Akerman is in that one, right?” Henry seems suddenly interested. He has the hint of a man who knows exactly what he's talking about, but is pretending he doesn't. So he's a fan, I guess.

“Oh, I love her!” says Parker, suddenly girlish. She then quickly returns to being a stoic soldier, hoping nobody noticed. We all noticed.

“Robin Hood,” is Quins's answer. “But Robin Hood: Men In Tights, if we're being ‘onest with ourselves.”

Rutger asks, “not Rambo with the exploding arrow trick?”

Quins motions to his torso. “Don't quite have the muscles for it, mate.”

Cappy says, “Casino Royale, the Daniel Craig version, but just the parkour part.”

“Donnie Darko,” is Rutger's movie. I give a questioning look to them. “It's confusing if you think about it, better to just accept it and move on.” I feel like Rutger is one of those people who describes themselves as sooo complicated, when really, they're just goth.

Henry Gallup says, “Wag The Dog. It's a modern parable about the dangers of not questioning authority.” It's an interesting pick from our future president. He's got more going on then I give him credit for.

Kailani Haku smiles and confidently says, “Lilo and Stitch! One, it's Hawaii, my home. Two, it's about found family and I've got two foster kids. And three, I've probably seen it a hundred times because my first daughter loved that one.” She goes on for several more minutes about the movie.

Well, that was a lot.

Madeline Diaz shrugs and says, “guess I'll go. Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers.” I fail to see how it relates, and she just says, “it's fucking badass.” This is true. That movie is badass.

Parker McCall offers, “Miss Congeniality.” She doesn't elaborate, but Sandra Bullock is a federal agent who goes undercover at a beauty pageant. The tough girl who has to learn it's okay to be girlish sometimes. Got it.

Scarlett Fletcher is the only one left. I don't know much about her other than the fact that she has a magic falcon. “Um,” she mumbles unconfidently. “also Miss Congeniality? Except in reverse. I actually did pageants when I was younger, and now I carry a gun and fight bad guys.”

We all talk a bit more and let the adrenaline seep out of our veins. Turns out Rutger is also a TTRPG nerd, and actually worked at a game store part time. We talk about the Pathfinder 2e remaster and Rutger complains about the battle Oracle nerf. Alright, Rutger, you're gaining points with me. Even if I always thought battle Oracle was a crap subclass and nerfing something crap to begin with means it's still crap.

Having thoroughly braked, we reassemble in front of the stone temple entrance. I lay out the situation. “Right, so, as a reminder, this floor contains magical, armed and armored dragon men. Fire breathing, magic slinging, great sword cleaving, dragon men. Each one fights alone unless we do something stupid to antagonize more than one at a time. We're taking this one like ninjas. The layout of the floor is just giant rooms and long corridors. We'll take advantage of corners. I want Quins, Jose and Jeff to alternate getting the enemy's attention, then when it comes around the corner we ambush the shit out of it. Questions?”

Parker, with military precision and emphasis, asks, “ambush formation?”

Solar Mind! Bright orange flames spiral around my arms and settle on the backs of my forearms, forming bright orange gauntlets. Then eight kite shields form, one in front of everyone except me and Madeline. “I'm bringing cover points with us.” I nod with a serious gleam in my eyes.

I also tell them, in a much nerdier explanation, about my fire equipment’s resistance to fire damage, which should let them crouch down and hide from any sweeping fire breath attacks. I also summon three flaming great swords of my own, and telekinetically hover them on my back, as if they were sheathed there.

The entrance to the 8th floor temple area is 65 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the bottom, arching at the top. The stone work looks vintage, like something from an oversized Renaissance era cathedral. The marble is swirled with grey, black and ripples of gold. Inscribed in the walls are bas-reliefs depicting... Dragon men crossing the Delaware? Dragon men at Gettysburg. Dragon men lifting the flag at Iwo Jima. A dragon man being sworn in as president. Alright, this is officially some dungeons are weird bullshit. Aaaaand several of the team are taking pictures of the walls. Really? Really?

Anyways, there are glowing white crystals hanging from the arched ceiling, so we can see fine. And there's nothing in the temple aside from us. It's almost as if this was a video game level made for fighting, rather than a real temple.

We creep through the first 40’ by 40’ room and immediately there's a branching path. “Left or right?” Madeline asks, right at my side up front.

“Good adventurers always go left,” I say, hoping that was what the line was. I've got one mind on my radar, knowing that it should pop with any enemy around a corner (barring stealth abilities.) The road to the left turns right so we can't see far ahead. I creep forward and sure enough, my radar picks up our first dragon man.

I motion to the team to form up. Jose, Quins and Jeff the magic falcon (currently on Jose's shoulder) are up front. The rest of us are in a quarter-circle formation behind solar shields. Basically, as soon as this idiot turns the corner we'll have him dead to rights. I give the signal for the snipers to snipe and they pop around the corner to take their shots. And everything immediately goes to shit.

Quins takes two steps out, Jose one step, so they're not in each other's way. This doesn't matter because the dragon man does a charging shoulder tackle into Quins and he goes flying. I rush forward as the dragon man cleaves down with his greatsword, aiming at Jose's head. I create a solar halberd and jab it over Jose's head, catching the greatsword and deflecting it. Jose slides back with electricity in his heels, and releases his charged lightning bolt shot right in the creature's face. The dragon man is scorched but barely flinches. I grab Jose by the belt and leap back. This opens the lines of fire up to the team and dragon dude comes under fire from half a dozen guns. Rutger fires a beam of ice from each hand. I hear Kailani start a healing chant aimed at Quins's crumpled form. My minds whirl into high gear.

Dragon-kin Paladin. Tier 5. This is a badass, armored, deadly, magical, fire-breathing dragon man (or woman). How does this creature relate to the US Capitol building? Who cares? You've got your work cut out for you with these things.

Possible loot: their equipment, ability scrolls.

Ability scrolls? Oooh!

The paladin opens its mouth and a jet of white hot flames shoots towards me and Jose. I fling him back and away while I create a solar shield in front of me. The shield blocks the fire but I'm already moving, dashing around to the right and creating my own greatsword as I do. The flame jet trails me but I'm too fast. I fling the six foot long solar greatsword straight at the source of the flames. The dragon man leans out of the way at the last second and my blade gives him a long cut across his draconic head.

I take a good look at him for the first time. He's almost seven feet tall, with copper colored scales. His chest and shoulders are protected by thick plate armor, his waist covered by a leather kilt. His lower legs are covered by greaves but his feet are straight-up dragon, ending in wicked claws that dig into the stone floor. His metal armor looks like polished silver, but must be something else, based on how it's easily deflecting bullets. Where he's been shot it looks like he's getting bruises, but most attacks aren't even breaking his skin. Oh, and he has dragon wings coming out of his back, which he's now flapping and-

He flies towards me at almost sonic speed, thrusting his greatsword at me. Even with all my super human speed and Reflexes, I barely have time to dodge, and he crashes into the wall behind me. His blow cracks and shatters the wall. Chunks of bas-relief scatter about and a small cloud of dust kicks up. He wheels about, cutting with his sword horizontally, and I parry at the last second with another solar greatsword. The clang of our blades is deafening.

My team is taking shots when they can. Jeff the falcon is overhead, peppering the dragon man with lasers. Jose is charging up a powerful shot. Quins is still down. Rutger is also charging a spell. Parker is sending Ki-enhanced bullets down range, which actually seem to be punching through the man's wings. And Mercy-

Mercy slams down with her naginata, using Oni Princess strength to chop towards his head. He catches the blade with a bare hand, but Madeline is there too, slashing down with a glowing, golden axe. The dragon man blocks that with his sword, and Jose takes that split second to fire a bolt of blue lightning, striking the dragon's metal chest plate straight on. The girls jump back as blue currents arc back and forth between the monster's armor plating. He gets stunned, drops his sword, and Rutger fires an Obsidian Sphere which hits the guy and then disappears, taking the dragon's right arm and wing with it. I pull my greatsword back to me, and strike the monster in the back of the neck. I'm expecting a straight cleave through, but the sword just bites in. I telekinetically pull harder and gold blood sprays out of a neck artery. Madeline chops into his now unarmed right side and Mercy jabs her naginata into the creature's eye. The dragon man regains his senses and punches Mercy in the gut and she goes flying. I hear her ribs crack. Fuck this guy.

I physically grab my greatsword and pull while kicking against the guy for leverage. The dragon man opens wide and breathes white flames right in my face. Fuck! I push off against him and finally I feel my blade slide forward and then chop through bone and flesh and scales and the head flies off. Fire shoots out of his neck stump as his body collapses. Madeline and I are sprayed with yellow-gold blood, which, of course, is acid and mildly burns us before we can back off.

My uniform is burning. My face and hair are definitely scorched. “Well fuck that guy!” I shout.

-----

Three days ago

Stamford, CT

Madeline Diaz's house

9:45 PM

Gary had stepped up as a parental figure, and Madeline was happy to see it. She had her mom living with them, of course, but having Gary around had proven to be a link she didn't know was missing.

They were all in the living room, watching Anchorman for the 100th time. Desi and Junior were 12 and 14. Too old to cuddle up with their mom anymore. Gary took up the mantle though, she just had to make sure he kept his hands where she could see them.

The 97 inch LG OLED 4K TV she'd lifted from the Get! dungeon lit the room, their faces shifting in color as the scene changed. This was good, she thought. This right here, her kids, a decent boyfriend (finally) and her mom upstairs, having gone to bed early for once.

The movie ended, as always, with an unexpectedly violent confrontation between the news teams. A dizzying number of cameos flew by as comedic actors were maimed and killed. She'd forgotten about this scene. She hadn't seen it since she became a Knight (now Cavalier) wielding an axe in battle herself. The scene was always funny but now, having witnessed so much real violence, it was downright hilarious. There was so little blood! She found herself doubled over with laughter. She was laughing so hard that Desi had to ask if she was okay, and yeah, of course sweetie.

After the movie she ushered the kids to bed, knowing full well they'd both be on their phones until around 11 anyway. They had to at least try to get to bed on time, right?

She thought about telling Gary about why the fight scene was so funny. She thought about telling him about the violence, the pain, the monster slaying. And she decided he didn't need to know. He was a relentlessly sweet man, more interested in the Great British Bake Off than John Wick. She didn't need to bring work home. She didn't need to unload her stress on him, her kids or her mom.

This place, her home, it was sacred, in a way. Stamford was miles away from any Dracosys sites. Her home was the one place she knew she didn't have to carry an axe. The one place where she wasn't Special Agent Madeline Diaz, FBI. Madeline Diaz, Pathbreaker, Phoenix Team leader. No, her kids didn't care about that. They were entering their teen years and just knew she was mom. The one who told them off when they stayed up past 11. The one who told them to only curse when it mattered. The one who made a mean quesadilla.

That was who she was here. Just Maddie. Just mom.