Path of Wizardry

Powering through the urge to break down and have a panic attack, Amy barely managed to rush back to Beatrice's apartment. She had avoided capture by a hair's breadth and she was incredibly lucky that her Witch's Cloak was enough to throw her pursuers off her tail when she jumped out of the window. Although the bushes below had cushioned her fall somewhat, her legs were killing her as she ran back and Amy knew she'd be paying the price for that in the days to come. All of that aside, Amy had accomplished what she had set out to do. She had gathered a surprising amount of information on Harrison and even carried some of the study files back with her. Those would have to be thoroughly looked through later however. For now, she would gather herself and rest.

Still, with all the adrenaline running through her, Amy's thoughts couldn't help but drift to fear. What if they can track me to here? Can I hide in the mirror? Would I be forced to run? It's just me in the apartment but what if Tod visits and I get him caught up in everything? What if Harris musters up the courage to come back here and try to get payback? Sure, he supposedly escaped while I was away, but did he really? Is he just biding his time, maybe even planning with Tod or that other girl Mina, to trap me and hand me over? And what if Harrison got a good look at my face? I may have been wearing a Monstrous Visage but it's not like I look all that different from what I usually do without it. It's just a prettier me with black hair and purple eyes. If he spreads my appearance or has a way to capture it... I could be recognised. I need to run away from Harth, that's the only way I can avoid being caught. I'll be forced to leave the birds behind and-

Shaking her head violently, Amy dismissed those intrusive thoughts as fast as she could, taking deep breaths in and out. She was spiralling and had recognised it before she fell into another thought-hole. Perhaps she should- No. I won't disable my enhancements. Not yet anyway. I still need to think. Maybe... Maybe it's time. To summon Felin again. He'll know what to do, surely. And I can bear his ire, right? Right?

Amy paced around the room anxiously, stuck in indecision. Ultimately, it came down to whether she wanted to run away or suffer through it. She could flee the city by that same route she proposed to Felin and simply act like nothing had happened when she called upon him again. She could wave the missing week as simple travelling troubles. Or, Amy could do as her path dictates, and face the trouble and pain and weather through it, taking the hardest path, even if an easier one existed. But was that wise? Back in Triesen, Amy chose not to take that most troubling path forward, electing to notify Journeyman Jones and take the easy road. And that was assuredly the best way through that. What way then was the wisest here? I think I already know the answer.

Coming to a dead stop in the middle of the room, Fae mana danced around in her hands and she played with it. She knew she was wasting time doing this, avoiding the inevitable and procrastinating. Absent-mindedly, she remarked how easy it was to attune to Fae like this now. Almost two months ago it was tricky - not as difficult as Illusion of course but still, tricky. Now, here she was simply willing the attunement into existence, the mana coming to her as freely as Pure did. Perhaps more.

Fighting back a frown, Amy finally relented. A familiar Spellform manifested in the air and soon a comforting presence filled the room as something greater than reality descended into corporeal form. The black feline form of Felin took shape and smiled down at her joyfully.

"Amy!" Felin smiled, eager to meet his apprentice after so long away. "I see your living arrangements have gotten a bit of an upgrade. Using some of that heist money are you?"

"I..." Amy trailed off, already struggling to fight off the urge to lie to him. It would be so easy to lie, to pretend that her reality was something else, something better. He wouldn't even know if he stayed in the room the entire time; she could make up some story about renting it and talk about all the new Spells she's concocted, working on them alongside him. And yet... keeping him in the dark would shame her so terribly she'd never be able to make it up to him.

"Amy?" Felin cocked his head, strolling up to her through the air.

Starting small, Amy began, "I'm still in Harth."

"Oh?"

That's it? Amy wanted to cry. All he did was look at her with those knowing eyes, not offering anything for her to latch onto. "I... I never left, I decided to stay for a little while... After I dismissed you."

"I see," He said cryptically, still looking at her innocently. However, he wasn't as ignorant as he put on. She could sense some confusion in his posture, the way he floated in the air more awkward than usual. Flying down to be more level with her face, Felin continued, "And why did you do that?"

"I..." Amy trembled, knowing that the truth had to come to light now. She'd be exposed. "I wanted to pursue Harrison more."

"Harrison?" He furrowed his brows at first before his eyes widening in realisation. "The Archmage! Oh Amy, why did you do that? What did you even-"

"I broke into his estate," She blurted out suddenly.

At first, he stared at her, dumbfounded, with his mouth wide open. It wasn't long before that turned into anger. "Amy! This is an Archmage we're talking about! What if you- Have you been caught? Is this their estate?"

"No, no, I got away but... They caught me at the end."

"Oh my goodness," Felin shook his head in disbelief. "Did you at least disguise yourself?"

"Yes, Monstrous Visage; at 5th Tier too."

"Just why did you think about doing this? And why didn't you tell me!"

"I thought you'd react like, like this!" Amy shouted back. "You wouldn't allow me to go through with it!"

"For good bloody reason!"

"And he isn't even an Archmage Felin!" Amy said with a somewhat deranged smile on her face. "I found out from his diary, he failed his ascension to Archmage and is back at Journeyman. I don't know the intricacies but he was reset to square-one a few months ago."

"But you didn't know that at the time," He tried to plead. "That's good news, yes, but what if he wasn't? What if he was an Archmage? If he was when they caught you, you'd have no hope of running!"

"I had it under control-"

"No, you did not," Felin stepped closer, holding firm. "You have been under my apprenticeship for two months now; that is not enough time to believe you had it under control. You simply do not have the knowledge nor the skills necessary to prepare against an Archmage. Whatever you thought would protect you from a Mage of that calibre would never be enough!"

"And he wasn't an Archmage!"

"No, you will not use that distorted reasoning against me Amy. You did not know he wasn't an Archmage. For all intents and purposes, he was one."

"...Fine," She acquiesced, "But it doesn't matter now! I can actually pursue him, right? It's just a Journeyman! He doesn't have any of these Spellchains or Cores he talks about after his failed ascension. That's like an Apprentice's mental enhancements, right? He'll be weak then, right?"

"I have no idea where you heard those terms but no, that does not mean that he's weak. He is still stronger in almost every way compared to you, especially if he's a failed Archmage. That just means he has all the Spellwork of an Archmage but none of the enhancements. You'll be contending against Tier 9, maybe even Tier 10 Spellwork Amy. Don't you understand that? That's double anything you have in your current repertoire."

"I thought you didn't believe in Spell Tiers."

"I don't!" He yelled. "I'm just trying to put it into words that you'll understand!"

"And it no longer matters anyway; he's still a Journeyman, and I can prepare for that, right?"

"Amy..." He trailed off, failing to find the right way to approach the conversation. "Why are you so stubborn about this? You weren't like this the last time we talked."

Stolen story; please report.

"Because I knew if I actually expressed myself you'd shut me down."

"Because it's stupid! What you did is silly Amy! What if he found you and tried to capture you? You have no combat-"

"I've fought Mages, Felin."

"Who? That Mageling in Triesen you ruined?"

"No- How dare you bring that up," Amy recoiled, the hurt clear in her voice. "I've fought Apprentices Felin-"

"When? When!" He demanded. "I don't care how hurt you are Amy, I care right now how safe you are! And now you say you've fought other Mages after going after an assumed Archmage?"

"They were nothing, Felin. I was perfectly safe-"

"But I didn't know!" He cried. "What if you got caught, or died? You'd never be able to summon me again. I'd never know, still banished and waiting for you to call me again. And when centuries pass without an answer, I'd know you'd somehow gotten yourself killed or worse and I'll be forced to mourn another apprentice gone too early, and the fact I'll never find out what happened to the entire civilisation of Ryuen in my absence!"

"I understand that-"

"No, I don't think you do, my dear Apprentice, because if you did you wouldn't pull something this silly!"

"I had to Felin, otherwise what would I do? Run away from my issues forever, just like I did in Triesen. I had to face this Felin, I had to. It felt so important so vital... I couldn't not chase it. I would've violated some core tenet of something I still don't entirely understand for nothing!"

"Oh Amy," Felin grumbled dismissively. "You couldn't have possibly forged your path this... early..."

His sentence trailed eerily off as a disturbing thought crossed his mind. Ignorant to her Familiar's sudden plight, she continued onwards.

"I've realised so much about myself, Felin, you don't even understand. The way I cast Spells now is completely different and so much easier. It's light and day. If you see the stuff I can do, the Spells I can cast, the new workings I've formulated, you wouldn't be saying these things. I'm just so much more powerful than before. That museum heist? I could do that all on my own and better now. All my Spells would be improved to Tier 5 and my new Spells would make breaking in and leaving no trace infinitely better. I- I can't explain it properly. It's like I suddenly can comprehend everything that I was ignorant to before. The minutia of Spellcasting, of Magecraft, never made as much sense as they do now. It's all about Laws! These Laws I've established for myself, that I can enforce on others, and bend to my will. They help so much. There's even this magic- No, not that. I- I can't- not yet. I can make these changes to reality, Felin! It's like what you told me about, about how those Elements feel to me, all over again and more! My Spells have so much meaning behind them now. And their limits have never felt so malleable to me. It's all applications of these Laws, the way I manipulate and change them, applying them to my Spells. It's like- It's like the Spells don't even matter! They're all vehicles of my workings- of my magic, of what I want change and impose and-"

"Amy," Felin said, as lightly as a feather and yet holding a weight that the Witch could not afford to ignore. It was in that moment, where she had stopped still in her tracks, that she realised she had begun pacing around the apartment again, that she had been practically hyperventilating through her rant, where she refused to take a break and breathe. The worst thing was she didn't even remember when she started. "I need you to calm down for a second. I need to inspect you, like when I first met you at the Tower? You remember that, right?"

"What?" Her head whipped around to him sharply, not even noticing the mana coalescing in her fingertips, as verdant as can be. Why did he want to inspect her? What did he want to do? Did he want to... bend her maybe? Like she had done so many times to other people?

"Amy, calm down and trust me. Remember? You've trusted me, right?" Felin smiled unconvincingly. "I know it's hard to think through the fog-"

"What do you want?" She backed up, forcing her back against the wall, and shimmying across to the mirror just in case.

"Oh gods, it's this bad," He mumbled in shock. "Okay, Amy, I need you to think. I need you to really try and understand why you did all of those things."

"I already know!"

"No, Amy, I don't want your excuses, I need the motivations behind it all. At the very heart of it, beyond all these impulses you're feeling, all these urges and instincts to do things. You need to disregard all what feels like is being demanded of you and think rationally for a moment. Why did you do this?"

"I needed to!" Amy backed up even further, her back finally touching the cold comfort of the mirror. "I wanted to!"

Felin floated on over to her slowly, trying not to cause any more alarm than he had to. "Please, Amy, think!"

"I- I- I-" Amy stammered, panic driving her into a craze, torn between running away, fleeing, hiding, attacking, talking, and all sorts of reactions and simply... thinking.

"I know you probably have a bigger mana pool now, even larger than when I last met you, but you need to ignore that for now. Stop thinking about the mana, and think about yourself."

"I do?" She asked helplessly, and, to her terror, realising that she indeed did. A considerably larger mana pool in fact. When the Hell did that happen?

"Maybe try turning off those enhancements. Remember how they used to scare you? How they caused you to think wrong things and spiral? Perhaps you should calm down, turn them off and simply be for a moment or two-"

"No!" She screamed, a delayed reaction with her attention dragged away onto her new pool. "I know what you're trying to do. You're- you're trying to trick me! Turning them off will make it easier! Harder for me to see through-"

"Please, Amy. I beg of you, just stop, and think. Why would I want you to think if I wanted to trick you? Why did you do those things? Why"

Why? Why? Why? WHY? WHY? WHY?

"I DON'T KNOW!" Amy collapsed, slumping against the back of the mirror and onto the floor. Tears streamed freely down her face, her eyes looking onwards with a dead stare, uncomprehending. Whispering, she repeated, "I don't know."

Somewhere in the middle of her breakdown, Felin had gotten right up close to her, a paw catching some of her tears delicately. "The fact you didn't answer with what you told me before tells me all I need to be told, Amy. You weren't thinking about Brook, Beatrice or even the birds. I'm sorry. I've failed you as a master, Amy. I should've seen it coming."

"W-W-what?" She stuttered, her heavy breathing making it hard to speak.

Threading a slither of mana towards her, in some process she couldn't see before, Felin eyes flashed green and yellow as something indescribable passed through and prodded at her self. Before, she couldn't even sense the inspection but now it felt almost violating, to have her soul ripped open for him to see in full. Despite it all, Amy could only focus on Felin's helpless expression, growing more dire by the second.

"Hah," He laughed haplessly. "Here I was, ordering you to think, when I couldn't even put this together myself. I've truly failed you, my dear Apprentice."

"You- you haven't failed me, Felin," Amy tried to comfort him, yet her words rang hollow with all she had said before. Did I really say all of that?

"I have, Amy.... How do I explain this," He paused briefly, his face turning thoughtful. "You know those things you were talking about? That path of yours, to do with Laws and the like?"

"Y-yes."

"That's... I don't even know how to describe this to an Apprentice. Why in all the planes would this happen to an Apprentice? To describe it simply, that process of finding your own interpretation for magic, is called forging a path. Usually this process occurs towards the end of Journeyman, where a Mage has found themselves and wishes to solidify what they desire about themselves into crystal mana, to be preserved for all eternity. It can happen earlier but it depends on a few factors, three most of all: mana portion; an understanding of yourself; and your affinities."

"Oh."

"Unfortunately for you, I doubt you've truly found a proper understanding of yourself. No, you merely brute forced your way into forging a path by your absurd mana portion for your Tier, and your incredible affinities for Fae and Unknowable. I should've seen it. Your wishes to dabble with Beatrice, to hide your true intentions, to scheme and keep me in the dark? Or your gloating about asserting your own power, your deceitfulness, your pride, your conniving and willingness to enforce your will on others? You didn't forge your path Amy as much as your affinities did it for you."

"...I don't understand."

"I know. It's hard to without the changes that come from Journeyman. It's all so much more physical, more tangible, at that stage but here its all ephemeral and... Remember what I said, about your affinities changing you? That's what they've done. They've changed you unwillingly, and before you even had the chance to realise that they were. That's where I failed. That's why I should've noticed this happening and I didn't. I'm sorry."

"It-It's okay, Felin. It's alright," Amy tried to smile, patting his sides.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you truly understood the gravity of my mistake," He sighed. "Your entire mental state, your mind, has been controlled and influenced by your affinities and I didn't even notice. You could say you hid it too well, but I'm an Ascendant. I should've noticed it. But I deluded myself by making excuses and assumptions just like now; this shouldn't be able to happen to an Apprentice. Unless, that is, they've advanced so quickly that they've had no time to balance themselves with the mana they're taking in. Which, unfortunately, you did."

"Wh-Where did I even get all this mana?"

"Likely your latest stunt with the Archmage, maybe even more plans you've hatched that I don't know about."

"...I see."

"The reason you don't know about it is because it all felt natural to you. Your affinities have changed the way you view your own mana so that you didn't even properly notice it; just that you're more powerful and can cast fancy new Spells more often."

"Is there a way to stop it?"

"If you were a Journeyman, yes, but... I have no idea if those same methods could even function at Apprentice. Your best bet is to stop all your advancement completely; removing those enhancements will also help. Those have no doubt been infected with Fae and Unknowable and need to be cleaned out with Pure as soon as possible. That'll take too long however, so just turn them off."

"I-" With dawning horror, Amy began to tremble.

"What is it?"

"I- I- I can't."

"...You can, or you will be able to," Felin hung his head low, trying to suppress a deep scowl. "Disable the ones you can for now, and keep the corruptive ones for later. You need rest, not work."

"I found so much in his study," Amy blurted out. "I wanted to tell you all about it. There might even be something to do with the Wizards there, I'm not sure. It's a close relation though. I don't even know why I was so hostile with you or why... I don't know."

"It's okay," He tried to reassure her, a glint of hope in his green slitted eyes. "You can tell me all about it soon. For now, rest."

"Yes..." Amy agreed uneasily, her gaze empty. "Rest."