213 (I) Troubleshoot
There are three basic things you should know about the fairies. The first is that their Tiers and levels are constantly in flux. The second is that Necromancy doesn't work on them, since they can't really die. And the third is: don't bother keeping them as slaves.
Yeah, it's kind of fun to imagine forcing the System's favored bastards to pop every boil on your ass or fold your bedsheets, but they just don't work that way. Their rules are weird and nonsensical. Their legend is tied to stories and song.
Forget to play three strings in the morning? Oh, well, that Adept fairy's now a Legendary Pathbearer for the next, I don't know, until whenever the next monsoon hits where you live. But also, they are deathly afraid of chickens, and if you throw one at them, it will mortally wound them for a century, and they'll have to spend all that time recovering.
Sounds strangely specific? Yeah, it's because I actually suffered through that.
But I wasn't done. Nope, I was determined to actually get my money's worth, so I kidnapped another one. This one was a fae warrior, a real killer, named himself Beast of Beasts, and he ran from one world to another, butchering the biggest, meanest, ugliest monster he could find.
I thought I'd gotten myself a real edge, could start harvesting monster parts to make a fortune. But as I brought him into Integrated Earth, guess what happened? That's right, he touched a piece of synthetic material, turned into a flock of doves, and vanished into a spray of colorful light that played a song about friendship and stabbing monsters in the eye or some nonsensical drivel.
Last I checked, he's back in his usual spot in the Fairwoods, in between hopping other realms and murdering more monsters. Tried kidnapping him two more times, but it seems that anything that's not a natural material banishes him back to where he was spawned.
Why? For what reason?
Stupid as it might sound, the fairies are things that are made from stories. You can try vivisecting them too, but there's nothing inside, unless the story says so. A couple have hearts, but that's because it fits their lore. And if you steal these hearts from them, it either makes them inhumanly powerful, or utterly weak and beholden to you in all things.
Now, you might ask me, "Realmrunner, Realmrunner, why don't you just take one of those easily enslaved fairies, then? The heart thing you just talked about, that sounds simple."
I did. And guess what? This Legendary-Tier fairy that I managed to steal the heart from—took me considerable effort and nearly a million minions, by the way—became less than an Adept. Because stealing their heart severed them from the source of their power, and because they don't feel formidable anymore, they weren't.
That's it. That's the story, kids. More of a cautionary tale now that I think about it.
Putting it simply, stay out of the Fairwoods. It's a miserable place. It's gonna eat up all your mithril, it's gonna eat up all your resources, it's gonna kill all of your forces, and you're gonna end up back where you started with less than what you had, except with a desire in your heart to burn the entire Fairwoods down.
Unfortunately, that doesn't work either, because it's just as likely that your flames suddenly wake up and start holding hands with the trees and singing a happy song before leading them back to you and beating you so bad that you develop a phobia of vegetation for the next 20 years.
Yeah, I experienced that too. Laugh it up. It'll happen to you.
Stay out of the fairylands.
Stay out of the fairylands.
Stay out.
-Fairy and the Fairwoods, by the Realmrunner
213 (I)
Troubleshoot
The insides of the anchor combusted with corrosive mana. Shiv came within an inch of flinging himself back across time to where his temporal anchor resided within the Coliseum. The orcs and convicts who'd entered the fray to assist him were diving through the pathways. And at the heart of it all was Andra, clenching her corroded heart in a closed fist and wielding a Necromantic glaive that promised soul-rending wounds to anyone it licked.
But, and quite befitting the theme of this fight, another surprise unfolded.
Cullywier materialized before Shiv in a flush of color and fragrance. The fairy stepped free from a place beyond Shiv's awareness, beyond perhaps even this realm, and stood there, a rail-thin creature beholding certain death.
Regret immediately seized Shiv. He should have blinked away, returned to his temporal anchor, and had the others beat their retreat as well. Andra was a Legendary Pathbearer, and she was far harder to kill than he expected. Now, it seemed that the poor fairy was about to pay Shiv's price.
But then Cullywier did something unexpected: He held up a single finger, and every bit of corrosive mana went still before him. His body came alight with the faintness of blue. Shiv's eyes widened. He stopped mustering his Chronomancy and found himself entranced.
The Animancy flowing from Cullywier evolved. It became something else, something of a rippling resonance. Then the Necromancy sawed across it, and it sounded as if a bow greeting strings. A melody played, and it was sweet and inhuman. Blood began to seep down from Shiv's nose, poured free from his ears and eyes. But inside, he felt a strange sorrow claw its way out of his heart, which then turned to manic happiness the second thereafter.
His response to the fairy's song was muted compared to the orcs and other prisoners. Gone let out a piercing cry and tumbled just short of one of the dimensional rifts. Helix immediately obliterated his eardrums, jets of viscera spurting free from the sides of his head. Every single time-clone Kura dispatched into battle vanished as one, and Candles clutched his head as he began to mutter about the memories coming back.
But it was the Necromancy that responded the most to Cullywier's siren song. Instead of lashing out and cleaving into everyone's souls, it surged toward the fairy. It speared into his rail-thin being and melded with that faint blue, painting the space around him like a halo. A co-mingling followed, and the faint blue became a purest white.
The Necromancy was neutralized entirely. And across from the fairy, Andra let out a snarl of frustration and disbelief. "What ape trick is this?"
Undeterred, even as she began to bleed as well, she flung herself at Cullywier. But instead of striding forth as an unstoppable Pathbearer, she staggered, she stumbled, and she swung her Necromantic glaive as if a drunk fielding a boat oar.
Her first blow missed Cullywier by a good meter. She readjusted, but before her second strike could fall, Shiv slammed into her chest.
At the same time, Urri dove through the air, trying to strike Shiv from behind, but promptly missed and slammed headfirst against Candles instead. The Vulteg let out a shriek as his face caught fire, and reflexively, the blazing man clutched the High Marshal's tentacles as they started another sloppy wrestling match and tumbled to the floor.
Andra roared, and that turned into a choked sound as Shiv slammed his forehead into her lower jaw. A piece of her chin fractured inward, and he wrapped his hands around her shoulder and wrenched hard. A satisfying snap followed as her upper clavicle burst free below her neck. Shiv spiked his vectors down and slammed her heart against the ground, then began to knee her, using his legs while keeping her arm secured.
She struggled and fought, unleashing her Cryomancy against him. Meanwhile, Cullywier strode toward them, and her glaive flickered before it, too, was wrenched out from her grasp by twig-thin fingers. It entered the fairy's body, just as the corrosive mana had done before.
Cullywier seized the Jotun's heart, and she let out a panicked cry, one that quickly turned into a groan as Shiv dropped an elbow on the side of her temple. He took advantage of her discombobulation and readjusted his positioning. He spun until his chest was pressing down on her head, and then he dropped two more elbows and a frying pan against her neck.
Andra gurgled. She reached up with a hand, but Shiv cut her fingers away, then he stomped down on her face once more. She tried to say something, but he wrapped her face using his Vitae strands, and he began to drain in earnest. A flood of life-force splashed within the anchor, and the heat built in the atmosphere.
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The Jotun choked and struggled, and Shiv could barely make out her words. "No! Stop! Help, return—lactery!"
That confirmed things for Shiv. What she possessed wasn't just reminiscent of Valor's Soul Cage; it was clearly of a similar make.
"How the hells did you manage to perform the Ritual of the Dichotomous Soul?" Shiv muttered.
The Jotun's Cryomancy exploded out of her, but instead of being allowed to consume the room once more, Shiv had been gathering Overflow Tides, and he expended them all at once. They slammed against the Jotun's magic, and a clash followed. Legendary Pathbearer struggled against Legendary Pathbearer, and an impasse was the result. Glistening vectors shattered rushing surges of ice before winking out themselves.
With every heartbeat, Shiv generated more strength to spend, and the outline of a dragon began to flicker around Andra's body as she tried to get back up. Her face healed, but Shiv kept draining her, and she got weaker and weaker. A rasping cry escaped from her brutalized throat, and he pressed down with a feral growl of his own.
Didn't need to go this way. Didn't need to die at my hands. Didn't need to make a mess of things.
Her strength flagged; Shiv's didn't. His anger climbed as he wondered if his cover was lost. They'd kept their fight mostly contained to the anchor, but with the sheer amount of power they threw around, Harlock would have to be absolutely blind if he didn't see it, or blinded by a combination of Veronica and Cripple's efforts—hells, the Educator had to be involved as well.
As Andra gave a final cry of effort, the ice around her surged, but it was then that Shiv noticed a glistening outline clinging to her magic, and a blackened grid as well. He sliced into it without hesitation, his frying pan carving bits of her mana free.
This time, Andra gave a genuine shriek of pain, and Shiv took full advantage. He smashed through her Cryomancy, delivering another blow to her neck. It crackled and popped, her veins spewed open, and blood began to spurt out like gushing rivers. She tried to muster her mana, but Shiv cleaved another part of it away, and then he brought the blunt end of his pan down.
Deepest Edge 66 > 69
Inertial Overdrive 261 > 263
The front part of her face flattened and caved in before the blow. But that wasn't enough, Shiv knew. He cut another piece of her mana away, but this time shoved it into the center of his pan. It began to swirl with blackness, and he swung down once more. This time, his blows were heavier; his cuts ran deeper. The upper half of her face vanished entirely, turning into a spray of viscera.
He kept going. He cut again and again, cultivating new Overflow Vectors and wielding his strength in tandem with his Deepest Edge. Shiv mangled her body in ways Gone couldn't earlier. Her bones turned to powder, her insides turned to paste, and her mana was scalped piece by piece and infused inside his rumbling Morsel to increase its density, its weight, its power.
He struck her again and again, cracking the ice beneath her, shattering her armor and body, sending splashes of burst tissue and hot blood over himself.
By now, he was knee-deep in bloody muck. Ropes and trails and steaming mounds of exposed tissue sent him into a near-berserk state, but he held himself back. He forced his Vitae deep into her being, and he started pushing hard, so hard that her Magical Resistance finally shattered. His mutant spirit surged into her soul, and he could feel her recoil, hear her fear. A chain formed between the Jotun and the Deathless, and it was a frozen thing, a black thing of red, white, and midnight-crusted frost.
A loud shout came from behind Shiv, and he reflexively twisted, bringing his pan behind his head. A loud ringing sound deafened him as Urri's punch landed hard upon the surface of his frying pan. Then two Veilpiercers hit the Vulteg's ankles, just as Candles and Gone slammed into him from behind. As they went rolling over in a heap, Shiv returned to the task of finally ripping the Jotun apart at the deepest level.
"Didn't want to fucking do this," Shiv growled, more to himself than anything. His mood grew blacker, and the tendrils of Vitae he projected lashed harder, coiling back like snapping, striking serpents as they slithered deeper into her mangled body. "Could have avoided this shit. You happy, System? You happy? Here, I killed another person. I'm gonna rip them apart from the inside. Another Legendary death! Are you fucking happy?"
He felt her magical skill, and began to sink his Vitaemancy inside it. Just then, a notification flashed before his eyes, and he clenched his teeth.
Stop! Deathless, you have bested me. You are a true warrior, better than I. But I must ask of you, stop. I do not fear losing my own life, but there is something—
Shiv stopped reading.
He didn't give a shit anymore. The Jotun had lost mercy privileges when she cut him in half from behind, if she hadn't already due to what he saw of her plans in his Non-Sequitur vision. He didn't have it in him to be kind anymore. Any mercy offered would be at his peril and the peril of those he cared about.
He began to tear, and things inside her broke. He couldn't hear her scream, but he knew that she was begging somewhere, knew that she was desperate not to have her skills and soul mangled by how much harder the fear-chain between them was growing. Power surged into Shiv. He grew larger, his muscles swelled, his Vitamancy went from tendrils to dense cords. And as a result, her soul came asunder, breaking down the middle as he shattered the first of her skills. It didn't feel particularly deep, so that wasn't her Cryomancy.
He moved on to the others, spreading out like a branching infection creeping under the skin, seeking every major organ he could to destroy them from within, to rip away that which made them whole, and to murder the lore that sustained her soul.
"Deathless," Cullywier said. There was a melodic quality to the fairy's voice, yet Shiv ignored it, even if he yearned to turn and hear the fae speak again.
"Deathless," Cullywier repeated, a little louder, "I must advise against this."
And that barely brought Shiv back to reality.
It didn't matter how nice the fairy sounded. This fucker tried to kill him, did kill him twice, did force a fight when it didn't need to be one, and also had no qualms threatening the lives of everyone within the academy and far beyond.
A gust of fragrant wind rushed around his form and tightened its hold upon Shiv. The Deathless's fury was forcibly incensed, and he clenched his teeth so hard his jaw began to creak. "Cullywier, if you intervene on her behalf, I swear to the System, I will do you in after."
"It is not on her behalf that I act, but yours. This is simply unwise. She is not someone you wish to kill, not without damning yourself to a lifetime of being hunted."
A bitter laugh tore out from Shiv's throat. He popped another one of her skills, and it was ever so satisfying to feel her come apart from the inside out. His anger and frustration had alchemized into hate. The System wanted this of him? Then he would feed it. He would give it the show it so desired. He would mangle, cripple, mutilate, and obliterate every single individual and monster that was forcibly sent his way, especially if they were too stupid to take up his offer of peace and see themselves spared.
"I'm already hunted," Shiv snapped. "What's a few more bastards on my ass? Just more victims-to-be, just more people to bloody my pan, to bloody—"
That made Shiv's insides recoil with even more strain. His pan was bloodied. He was killing people with implements from the kitchen. It wasn't that violence and bloodshed bothered him, but it needed to be separate. The shape of his artistry and creation shouldn't be so closely aligned to the brutality he inflicted upon his enemies.
This was wrong, but the System just—it kept forcing him and pushing him and making him more and more into a monster. Shiv sucked in a breath. It just wants me to be a monster. It gave me the pan. It just wants me to break and kill and hurt. That's all it wants. It doesn't care about anything else. It just wants me to eat, eat, eat, hurt, hurt, hurt, and there's no way out. I keep trying, but it won't let me go.
A new emotion joined the swirling vortex building inside Shiv. Exhaustion, existential exhaustion. He would never give up. He would never fold, but this was wearing on him, wearing on his mind. He didn't want to kill and fight constantly, incessantly, forever, without reason, without a chance for peace, without a chance to cook, without a chance to be a person. He wanted to be a person, his own person. That was the entire point of him seeking to be a Pathbearer. And as his thoughts grew more agitated, he began ripping more of Andra's insides apart.
A loud snap came from behind him, and in the corner of his eye, he saw a spreading fracture growing upon that dagger. Her soul is bound to it, he thought. Time to finish you off. He still hadn't found her Legendary Skills yet, but he was getting closer, and he could feel the coldness.
"I understand that your circumstances might be different from most," Cullywier said, a faint hint of indifferent whimsy to his voice. "But if you kill her, understand that the Court of the Shattered Moon will come for you. All of Jotunkind will hunt you until none are left, or until you meet your final end."
"Fuck them," Shiv snarled. "Let 'em come. It's a sooner or later thing by this point."
"And if that is not enough," Cullywier continued, "know that if you slay her, you may very well find yourself at the end of Valor Thann's blade when he finally pieces himself back together."
And that stopped Shiv's mind dead. His head snapped to the fairy. "What?"
"What?" Adam's chrono-clones echoed just before he was dragged back through the expanded bracelet.
Just behind Cullywier, Shiv saw Urri trying to get back up, but a few dozen of Kura's time-clones had returned to the fray and were actively holding him down. Most of the Vulteg's face was melted. Candles channeled his Pyromancy without any restraint, while Gone dragged scratches along the massive Vulteg's chest. Helix, Whisper, and all the other orcs attacked Urri in support as well. Despite this, he was still getting stronger. Urri's muscles swelled. His Magical Resistance flared so bright it became a literal shield around him. Shiv thought his Toughness had been good, but what the Vulteg had was absolutely absurd.
"Valor," Shiv coughed out. His Vitae twitched. He was so close to ripping Andra apart, so close to finishing her off for good. "What the hells does she have to do with Valor?" he hissed, his eyes wild, his hands shaking. He kept his strands buried deep within Andra's battered body. Once more, it was beginning to heal, but she wouldn't come back in time, not before he drained all of her vitality dry, not before he broke her final skill.
"Because she is one of Valor Thann's disciples, and it is he who taught her the Ritual of the Dichotomous Soul." Cullywier tilted his head, observing Shiv's reaction, how his body locked up. "You didn't know this."
Shiv stopped draining. His Vitae strands twitched, and so did his left eye. "No," he muttered, his thoughts racing. "No, I did not. Cullywier, are you bullshitting me?"
"No," the fairy said. A look of genuine pity for Shiv developed on his inhuman face. "The Dragon Brokers told me that you and Young Lord Arrow are now considered Valor Thann's closest confidants, as you have been spotted with him at multiple points. They assume you two were accepted as disciples as well." The fairy's unnaturally large eyes briefly flashed with Divination mana, and he squinted. "However, I am beginning to suspect this information might be incorrect or lacking critical details. I say this because Valor Thann has been known to be extremely honest with his actual disciples, especially due to matters such as these. And it seems he has left you entirely in the dark."
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