Passion: Suite

“Still not awake. I’ll pretend I heard nothing, so feel free to say more. …That is, I doubt anything good will follow after ‘who you are,’ but go ahead.”
A laughter-tinged darkness appeared under his eyelids.
“If you’re up, move aside. Who told you to crawl in here?”
Worried that his eyelids might not close properly, Taeui lightly tapped Ilrey’s arm, feeling a wave of gloom at the thought.
Ilrey stayed motionless for a moment, then sat up with an air of regret. The thing that had filled him all night resisted briefly before slipping out. The moment whatever had been inside all night came out was painful enough that Taeui let out a short groan and furrowed his brow.
“Sigh… Whether I die of overwork or by some other cause, somehow you’ll be heavily involved in my death.”
Murmuring to himself with a sigh and worrying over his powerless, aching lower body, Taeui spoke aloud. Ilrey, lying down beside him again, paused and then looked at him intently. Taeui glanced back. …This guy’s going to get twisted again.
Taeui pulled Ilrey’s neck toward him and lightly pressed his lips to his.
“…But I’ll never die by your hand.”
No answer came to Taeui’s muttered words. Seeing the pleased calm vanish from Ilrey’s face in an instant, Taeui clicked his tongue.
So what? I get it, but there’s still no solution.
Then, muttering, Taeui casually voiced a thought that had crossed his mind.
“Or, how about this: if I die, you die too.”
Even if we weren’t born on the same day, if we died on the same day, you’d at least think twice when you tried to kill me with your own hands, he joked, though it didn’t seem very useful.
Muttering about needing to save a peach tree, a black ox, a white horse, and beer, Taeui burst into laughter at his own whim.
“Well, that’s a joke… anyway, I—”
“Okay.”
“Not that I’ll run away from you or anything… …Huh?”
At first, Taeui didn’t catch the short, concise reply and let it pass, then a beat later asked in dumbfounded confusion and fell silent.
Blinking, Taeui looked up at Ilrey, and again a light kiss landed. Between their lips Ilrey murmured, Yeah, that’s another way, as if thinking aloud. Why hadn’t I thought of that sooner? he added with a short laugh of disbelief.
“That’s a fine suggestion. Okay, let’s do that.”
“Huh? …What?”
“That whatever the reason, if Taeui dies then Ilrey Regrow dies too. —Yes. Good idea.”
Ilrey’s generous hand cupped Taeui’s cheek. His slow, caressing touch was astonishingly gentle, matching the pleasant, cheerful voice that murmured, That will do.
“Um… I was just saying it… If you like it, I don’t mind…”
Taeui blinked and mumbled. Where did that guy who laughed at the three men under the peach tree go? It couldn’t be the same man smiling so broadly and repeating the same words.
“…”
Taeui stared at Ilrey, feeling baffled, embarrassed, and a little amused, then broke into a snicker. As he’d said before, even a promise that would never actually be kept could ease his mind. If there was nothing else to hold on to, lip-service promises would do.
“Right, I need to contact Alain soon.”
As Ilrey pressed kisses to Taeui’s lips, cheek, and forehead, he suddenly murmured. Taeui, eyes closed from the kiss on his eyelid, recognized the unexpected name and opened his eyes in puzzlement.

“Alain? That cheerful guy in Frankfurt? Why?”
“He’s the contact. I need him to relay the request to the special unit.”
“Um? What request all of a sudden?”
“Better to make it clear. From the moment your death is confirmed, spare no means to eliminate Ilrey Regrow.”
Beneath Ilrey, who muttered that they were skilled and a group ambush would be hard to withstand, a grotesque expression spread across Taeui’s face.
“Huh…?”
“See, I already feel better.”
“Don’t feel better over that! Hey, wait. Why go through all that trouble? Just die yourself! With your own hands! You do it!”
Taeui shoved Ilrey and leapt from the bed. The peaceful morning had vanished, replaced by a grim, sinister atmosphere. (Or so Taeui felt, though Ilrey looked very pleased.)
Hold on. So it’s a foregone conclusion I die before this guy…?
The thought crossed his mind briefly, but he didn’t care. That wasn’t the point.
Sure, anyone can say, If you die, I’ll die too, but Taeui, even while agreeing, didn’t actually want him to die. (Honestly, planting an apple tree and then dying—once he was dead, what did he care how the world went on?)
“Of course I could do it myself without borrowing someone else’s help—but if by any chance I lose my mind or for some other reason can’t kill myself, wouldn’t that be a problem?”
“I don’t think you need to plan that far ahead… Why design such a detailed, bleak future?”
“Because it’s a bleak future.”
It was the fool’s answer. Taeui stared blankly at Ilrey.
He was sometimes unpredictable. He couldn’t fathom his thoughts or how his mind worked. But he hadn’t expected him to be this far off the charts.
Or maybe it was because of him.
“…Then make one more request.”
Taeui murmured with a light sigh. Ilrey raised an eyebrow.
“The reverse. If you die, make me die.”
He had never thought of that before. He’d never thought or said he’d die if someone died or couldn’t live without them—it belonged in movies. Until a few seconds ago. But if it became reality…
It felt foolish, but matching the beat might be okay. After years together, it seemed a fitting price for the unexpectedness of this man.
What if affections only deepened…
As Taeui half-seriously pondered, Ilrey shrugged indifferently and tilted his head. The cracking of his joints could be heard.
“I don’t think we need to tack on that request.”
“Why not? Are you saying I’ll die before you no matter what?”
Taeui furrowed his brow. He would never say, Even if I die, live long and remember me—that would be totally out of character.
And just as he thought, Ilrey nodded casually.
“Mm. While you’re alive waiting for me, whatever happens, I’ll come back alive.”
“…”
It was a somewhat touching remark, which could sound sweet in another context, but coming right after talk of requests, it felt like a scene from a horror film…
But.
“Right. Definitely.”
Taeui relaxed the tension between his brows, truly hoping so.
He wasn’t the only one afraid of loss. Even if life was resilient and one could endure, it would ultimately be a terribly painful day.
Ilrey gazed at Taeui and laughed. Yes, that whisper was more reassuring than ever, and Taeui smiled too.
Their smiles merged between their overlapping lips. As Ilrey lightly rubbed and licked his lips in a ticklish kiss, Taeui suddenly paused. Sensing the change, Ilrey raised an eyebrow and looked down.
“Wait. Stop.”
Taeui pushed Ilrey away with a serious face. Ilrey’s eyebrow rose further in puzzlement and displeasure. Taeui glared at him even more disapprovingly.
“Don’t stare like that. It’s your fault. —I need ◈ Nоvеlіgһт ◈ (Continue reading) to go to the bathroom before I see anything filthy. My stomach hurts.”
Under Ilrey’s silent stare, Taeui looked down at the slight traces still leaking between his legs from what Ilrey had poured in repeatedly last night. Ilrey looked down at him once, then murmured softly, “Sorry.”
“That guy looks unusually cheerful today.”
Uncle said as he looked back with eyes that had seen everything. Ilrey, passing by on his way into the office, flashed a wink and greeted, “Excuse me.” It sounded very fresh.
In the office, Taeui—doing odd tasks for Hogan, who was stuck in the infirmary—mumbled without even looking at Uncle.
“Well, I suppose.”
“Hmm. Today the real training almost ends, so I guess it’s a good mood. The others are floating around like they’ve just been freed.”
No, I don’t think that’s why… Taeui murmured inwardly with a thoroughly rotten face.
He felt he had chosen wrong. Before he knew it, his life had veered off the human path onto a crooked track.
Taeui. Think carefully. Do you really intend to live by that guy’s side forever? He can’t distinguish the line between beast and human—or rather, he doesn’t even try. How harsh a burden that would be on you.
That morning, as Taeui groaned in the bathroom until work began because his stomach hurt, it was Ilrey who took care of him. He said it was best to empty everything inside and didn’t shy from cleaning up the mess.
But in the meantime, while tending to someone trying to manage an aching stomach, as soon as the pain subsided and Taeui said, “I’m okay now,” the beast who immediately thrust forward that swollen front without hesitation was only him. Staring in disbelief, Taeui heard him say matter-of-factly, “We haven’t done this morning’s share yet.”
Damn it.
It was better when his mood was dark. Then, with worries occupying his mind, his body had been more resistant, and he had refused once or twice saying, “Not now.”
But as soon as his mood cleared, he was in this state.
“Next time, even if he’s in a twisted mood, I’ll just pretend not to notice…”
In contrast to Ilrey, this time Taeui was depressed as he murmured. Uncle placed a glass before him: barley tea with two ice cubes. A brief relief from monotony in the midst of busy tasks.
Taeui paused his work, took the glass, and said, “Thank you.” Then he approached Uncle by the window. Uncle smiled and said, “Don’t mention it,” stepping aside slightly to make room.
Perhaps Uncle felt a bit apologetic. Though he didn’t intend it, he must have foreseen the possibility yet had no choice but to seat Taeui there.
Their eyes met. Taeui smiled quietly. Only then did he turn his gaze out the window and say thoughtfully:
“Sorry for taking out my frustration on you, Uncle.”
Uncle shook his head. His gentle pat on Taeui’s back conveyed more nuanced meaning than words.
An occasionally blamed but ultimately endearing man. Whatever actions he took for his work, the emotion he had for Taeui carried not a shred of malice.
“That guy seems to have cheered up. How about you?”
“Apart from being busy, I’m fine.”
Taeui shrugged lightly. Except for being so exhausted he often had to collapse into a chair, utterly drained below the waist.