Passion (BL Novel)

No, I knew. But I had forgotten.

I see. It’s difficult to see Shinru personally without giving prior notice, isn’t it?
Jeong Tae-ui paused for a moment, thinking. But he had already decided to go see him, and his longing grew stronger. …I really should go. It wouldn’t be good to delay and suddenly cancel the appointment.
Jeong Tae-ui waved his hand lightly at Moro and left the room. Moro called out, “Hey!” but Jeong Tae-ui pretended not to hear it.

As soon as he stepped outside, the sharp, biting air pricked his skin, but it wasn’t a big problem. He wasn’t planning to provoke anyone, nor was he interested in responding to anyone’s taunts. Even if someone tried to pick a fight, Jeong Tae-ui simply passed by without reacting. No one dared to stop him, even if they were trying to start something. He heard someone mutter “Coward” behind him, but if it meant avoiding an unnecessary fight, he’d gladly hear that insult a hundred times over.
He instinctively stopped his feet in front of the elevator, but seeing the indicator for the first floor, he realized it wouldn’t be possible, so he turned toward the stairs.
Having used the stairs so often, he was now comfortable with climbing up to about six or seven floors. But the stairs in this building were quite high. The height of each step was at least double that of a regular stair, and the steps stretched on and on. Naturally, the space between floors was considerable, and the ceiling appeared far above.

When he asked why the building was designed like this, his uncle casually responded with a laugh. “It’s for exercise.”
“I don’t need to exercise with something like this, Uncle.”
Jeong Tae-ui grumbled to his uncle, whom he knew couldn’t hear him, as he climbed the stairs. Whenever something was bothering him, he would vent to his uncle, whether he could hear it or not. It helped calm his mind a little.

When he reached the first basement floor, there was a new sign he hadn’t seen before on the iron door: No Entry Except for Residents.
In other words, if you weren’t someone living on this floor—easily put, if you weren’t a member—you weren’t allowed to come.
Jeong Tae-ui pretended not to see it and opened the door. He briefly wondered if the door might be locked or if someone would greet him with a gun in his face, saying, “I told you, no entry,” but that didn’t happen.

The sign was the only barrier, and the usual lack of security meant there was nothing different from usual. Standing in the hallway on the first basement floor, Jeong Tae-ui scratched his head. Was it relying on the members' consciences? It wasn’t even a school; trust had to be earned.
Since few people ever stayed on the first basement floor, it was rare to run into others even when wandering around freely. Jeong Tae-ui was about to continue walking leisurely when he hesitated. Thinking about it, he realized that on this floor—no, across the entire building—there were security cameras everywhere.
“...If I get caught on camera, will they find me later and issue a penalty?”

Jeong Tae-ui sighed, rubbing his chin.
But then again, he didn’t think it would matter. He had a rough idea of where the cameras were. Since Jeong Tae-ui knew, other members probably did too. He could easily walk through the blind spots of the cameras.
But upon further thought, he realized that when entering the warden’s office, there was no way to avoid the blind spots. Naturally, he’d be caught on record. Plus, there might be cameras he didn’t know about.

Jeong Tae-ui paused in thought. Should he just go back? After all, it was something he could do over the phone.
Yet, even though he knew that would be the wise thing to do, his feet were already carrying him down the hallway. Ah, whatever. Maybe getting caught and thrown into the warden’s office would be better. After all, it was still a prison, and how bad could the facilities be?
Jeong Tae-ui headed toward Shinru’s room. After his initial wandering around the place, he hadn’t gotten lost again. At least, he was fortunate to have a good sense of direction after only going through the hall once.
Shinru’s room wasn’t far from the stairs. Just walk straight down the hallway and take a single turn, and it would be there in no time. As he walked, he wondered what he’d say if he ran into someone, but that didn’t happen.

He tapped the door lightly with his fingertips. After waiting for a moment, there was no response. Wondering if the sound had been too quiet or if Shinru wasn’t in the room, Jeong Tae-ui knocked a little harder.
“If you’re not in, I’ll just get caught on camera and waste my time... This is going to be a disaster.”
Jeong Tae-ui muttered, clicking his tongue. Even if he had come all this way to speak to Shinru, he should’ve at least made a phone call first.

However, just as Jeong Tae-ui was starting to feel his worries rise, the door opened a moment later. Shinru, who had been peeking out between the gap of the door, looked surprised when he saw Jeong Tae-ui.
“Hyung Tae! What’s going on? You can’t come here right now... Come in anyway.”
Shinru quickly glanced around before pulling Jeong Tae-ui into the room. Only then did Jeong Tae-ui wonder if his visit might cause trouble for Shinru, but it was too late to back out now. Besides, now that he was here, there was no point in second-guessing.

Above all, it was Jeong Tae-ui’s first time in Shinru’s room.
Though there was nothing special about a person’s living space, Jeong Tae-ui looked around curiously once he stepped inside. The room was neat and simple. There were no unnecessary items, but it wasn’t too bare either.
“If someone sees you, it’ll be trouble for you, so why are you here all of a sudden?”

Shinru asked, worry in his voice, as he took out two cans of beer. Jeong Tae-ui was surprised to see the beer but thought about it for a moment. Despite being adorable, Shinru was an adult now. Drinking beer was no big deal for someone his age. It was more surprising that he found it surprising.
Jeong Tae-ui accepted the beer, thanked him, and hesitated for a moment. Since it was a room for a single person, there was no reason for a guest sofa, so Shinru pulled a desk chair from in front of the bed and sat down, silently waiting for Jeong Tae-ui to speak.
“Well, about the weekend...”

“Oh, right. I checked the weather forecast, and it’s supposed to be clear this weekend.”
Shinru broke into a big smile when Jeong Tae-ui started talking. Jeong Tae-ui felt a pang in his chest. Normally, hearing such words would make him happy, but now, he felt awkward.
“Umm...”

Seeing Jeong Tae-ui hesitating, Shinru seemed to notice the shift in his mood. He tilted his head and watched Jeong Tae-ui in silence.
“Well, I didn’t know, but I heard there’s training this weekend. I guess... I can’t miss it.”
So... Jeong Tae-ui trailed off, unable to finish his sentence, when Shinru unexpectedly nodded, smiling as if he had anticipated it.

“I knew it. It felt strange. It’s the same as before, and even before that, whenever there was joint training, we always trained continuously without any days off for about two weeks. I thought this time was different.”
Shinru nodded as he spoke, but then his smile faded, and his lips twisted slightly in disappointment.
 

"I was hoping we could take a slow walk together... It's a shame."
"Oh, sorry..."
Jeong Tae-ui apologized, bowing his head slightly.

Still, he felt a bit relieved. I see. He already knew. It made sense, considering Shinru had been here longer than him. It was only natural that he would know. He realized he had been unnecessarily worried on his own.
However, breaking the promise still meant he had broken it, so Jeong Tae-ui looked at Shinru with an apologetic expression. Shinru, who had a face full of regret, looked at Jeong Tae-ui and shook his head, then smiled again.
"No worries. The training schedule is usually like that. But after the training, I’ll have some free time, so we can go for a walk then. It’s not like the beach is going anywhere."

"Yeah... After the training, let’s go for a walk."
When Jeong Tae-ui said that, Shinru nodded happily. Then, he paused for a moment and spoke.
"After the training, we might be able to leave the island for the weekend, so we could go to Hong Kong and have some fun. I still need to buy a few things."

"Oh, that sounds good. I should come with you. I need to pay back my cigarette debt to Towan."
Jeong Tae-ui responded with enthusiasm.
Coming to cancel the weekend plans, he now had two new ones—going for a walk and going to Hong Kong—and that made him even more satisfied. Though he felt disappointed that the original plans for the weekend had fallen through, it was a small price to pay for two new promises.

"Still... it’s a bit disappointing. I was really looking forward to it."
Shinru’s voice, whispering with his head slightly lowered, reached Jeong Tae-ui. The moment he heard it, Jeong Tae-ui’s face flushed bright red.
It was strange. Even though Jeong Tae-ui knew he could never think clearly when Shinru was in front of him, he had actually become familiar with the steps of dating—or rather, the process of it. How to seduce someone with words, how to bring them into your arms, all of it was something Jeong Tae-ui had learned without anyone teaching him, just from a few trips to clubs. Now, he didn’t find it difficult to date someone or spend the night with them.

But with this young man, he couldn’t bring himself to reach out his hand easily. Maybe this was the genuine reaction when you didn’t want to treat someone you had fallen for too recklessly.
Jeong Tae-ui chuckled at himself, but he didn’t mind the feeling. He smiled shyly, still blushing.
At that moment, Shinru hesitated and slowly reached out his hand. His small fingers almost touched Jeong Tae-ui’s fingertips, sending a soft tickling sensation through them. Shinru's gaze was cautious, watching Jeong Tae-ui closely.

Jeong Tae-ui almost burst out laughing. What a childish yet adorable flirtation. He had never experienced such a direct and cute approach. He could easily smile and lazily take his hand, then give a light kiss to his fingers, and the job would be almost done.
But.
His hand wouldn’t move. His face, already red, just seemed to get hotter.

Jeong Tae-ui looked at Shinru. The delicate fingers lightly brushing his own.
His mouth went dry. His anxious mind kept whispering, now, now would be fine.
Jeong Tae-ui clenched his fist. Then, his eager hand reached out. After hesitating for a moment, his hand landed on Shinru’s shoulder.

He couldn’t face him directly. If they made eye contact now, it would surely be funny. A man with a face as red as a boiled octopus, unable to figure out what to do. At that moment, he just hoped Shinru wouldn’t look at him.
Jeong Tae-ui half stood up, pulling Shinru’s shoulder closer and kissing his lips without thinking. Originally, he had intended to kiss him on the lips, but he was so nervous that he missed. Instead of his lips, his kiss landed awkwardly near Shinru’s cheek.
But in this moment, the important thing in Jeong Tae-ui’s ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) mind wasn’t where the kiss landed. It was the fact that he kissed him for the first time. Shinru’s soft skin brushed against his lips.

He felt Shinru’s surprised gaze as it lingered on him, but Jeong Tae-ui couldn’t look back. He stepped back, his face bright red, and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
“...”
“...”

A long silence followed. Jeong Tae-ui kept twisting his fingers awkwardly as he lowered his head. He glanced up briefly, and saw Shinru doing the same, his pale cheeks flushed red as he lowered his head.
I wonder if he’s mad. I hope he’s not angry. His heart pounded so hard it felt like it might burst.
Jeong Tae-ui, not knowing what to do, found himself about to smile involuntarily. He clenched his jaw to stop himself, but his lips kept curling up.

Jeong Tae-ui lifted his hand slightly to cover his mouth, and when he cautiously looked at Shinru, he saw that Shinru had lifted his head and was now looking at him. When their eyes met, Shinru suddenly broke into a smile, his face still red.
A soft but bright laugh filled the air, and Jeong Tae-ui, who had been watching Shinru in a bit of a daze, couldn’t help but laugh too.
His chest felt warm, and that made him smile. Maybe Shinru felt something similar.

After laughing for a while, their laughter slowly died down, leaving an awkward but endearing atmosphere.
“Well, then, I’ll be going now. See you after the training... Ah, thanks for the message. I liked it.”
“Oh, yeah... I’ll... I’ll walk you out.”

As Jeong Tae-ui stood up and showed signs of leaving, Shinru stood up as well and followed behind. Jeong Tae-ui couldn’t help but laugh again. Shinru was following him quietly like a little puppy, and it was simply too adorable.
Even though Jeong Tae-ui told Shinru not to come all the way out, Shinru shook his head and followed him to the door. They didn’t talk much as they walked down the hallway. There was nothing to say, and more than anything, the warmth coming from their slightly clasped hands filled both of their hearts.
Standing side by side, holding hands silently with red faces, Jeong Tae-ui thought that if his uncle saw them, he would surely give them that familiar look. "They’re having a good time..." he’d think.

But so what? Let him look as much as he wants. After all, we’re at a point where holding hands is just fine.
Jeong Tae-ui glanced at Shinru, who was about half a hand shorter than him. The faint smell of soap still lingered in his hair. For a moment, he thought about burying his face in that hair but immediately blushed again and smiled shyly.
Then, just as they reached the stairs, Jeong Tae-ui realized that it was a bit of a shame to have to let go of Shinru’s hand now, as he couldn’t ask him to go all the way down to the sixth basement floor.

As they rounded the corner by the stairs, someone was coming.
Jeong Tae-ui’s fingers tightened around Shinru’s hand. It wouldn’t be good if anyone saw him here. Even if the security cameras had caught them, it would be different from being seen in person.
Who could it be? If it’s one of the guards, at least he could come up with an excuse, Jeong Tae-ui thought, clicking his tongue, but when he realized who it was, he froze. The person was someone he never expected to run into here, someone he definitely shouldn’t meet. It was Rigrow, that vicious man.

Rigrow saw Jeong Tae-ui, then his gaze slowly shifted to Shinru beside him. His eyes narrowed slightly, as if amused, intrigued, or perhaps displeased—or maybe just greedy.
The thought hit Jeong Tae-ui like a cold breeze, and he stiffened. He remembered his conversation with Towan earlier that morning.
—There was no man left who looked fine after being young and pretty.

Jeong Tae-ui’s chest tightened. Without thinking, he gripped Shinru’s hand more firmly and stepped in front of him.
Shinru, confused, fidgeted behind him, but Jeong Tae-ui silently stood his ground, blocking Shinru’s path.
It’s dangerous. That thought crossed his mind instinctively.

It wasn’t the kind of threat related to life or survival, something he’d felt before. This was a threat more urgent and anxious than survival, the kind where you might lose something precious, something more pressing than simply staying alive.
Rigrow fixed his gaze on Jeong Tae-ui. His expression slowly curled into a smile—or something akin to it—that seemed to reveal everything he was thinking.
“Why so serious...?”

He spoke quietly. A faint but unmistakable laughter could be heard in his voice.
Jeong Tae-ui clicked his tongue inwardly. You should never show weaknesses to others, especially not to someone as threatening and brutal as this man. Yet in that instant, he had exposed his own vulnerability.
“Shinru. Go back.”

Jeong Tae-ui said quietly, glancing over his shoulder. Shinru hesitated for a moment, his gaze flicking to Rigrow. It was a careful, probing glance, scanning Rigrow cautiously.
“Hyung…”
“It’s fine, go back. We’ll see each other again later.”

Jeong Tae-ui spoke softly, soothing Shinru, who was muttering while clutching Jeong Tae-ui’s sleeve. Shinru hesitated a little longer but eventually gave a short bow and turned to leave. He glanced back once, then twice, his gaze lingering on Rigrow. Rigrow, too, watched him with a subtle expression.
Finally, the sound of a door closing came from behind Jeong Tae-ui. Rigrow, who had been staring at Shinru’s retreating figure, turned his attention back to Jeong Tae-ui.
Jeong Tae-ui looked at him uncomfortably.

He had run into someone he didn’t want to see in a situation he didn’t want to be in. What a stroke of bad luck.
However, even after Shinru had disappeared, Jeong Tae-ui’s unease didn’t fade. This was because he could still feel Rigrow’s eyes on him, following his every move. Rigrow had been watching Shinru until the very moment he entered the room, eyes narrowed with curiosity, almost as if he found it immensely interesting.
“A beautiful guy,” Rigrow said, his voice carrying a faint hint of pleasure.

Jeong Tae-ui stiffened. His expression hardened as he stared directly at Rigrow.
“You’re talking about a man, and you call him beautiful?”
At Jeong Tae-ui’s words, Rigrow smirked, his eyes wrinkling with amusement.

“Aha. A man, huh? Well, I don’t care whether it’s a man or not as long as I like him. But I guess that’s not the case for you, huh? That’s unexpected—"
Rigrow trailed off, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. Jeong Tae-ui’s mouth turned bitter. It was an overly crude remark. This man had probably figured it out the moment he saw Shinru. He probably already knew how Jeong Tae-ui felt about him. Jeong Tae-ui realized he should’ve just accepted the situation without trying to dodge the subject.
His chest felt tight. Rigrow’s look—so subtle yet intense—kept gnawing at him, leaving an unsettling feeling deep in his gut. The glass bead he had barely managed to hold onto in his palm wobbled precariously.

Jeong Tae-ui clicked his tongue. There was no point in dragging out this conversation. In fact, there was no good that could come from him standing here, facing off against this man.
“What’s the deal? You’re not supposed to be here. You’re not allowed to enter.”
Jeong Tae-ui knew full well he wasn’t in a position to be asking, but still, he glanced at the direction Rigrow had come from. It was the direction of the guards’ rooms. The European branch guards, who had come to escort the European branch team, were staying on this floor, but their rooms were in a different direction.

Jeong Tae-ui tilted his head. What could this man want with the guards from this side? Or maybe he was just exploring the building. But he couldn’t think of a good reason for that either. The UNHRDO didn’t have any organizations in direct opposition to them, so there was no particular reason for him to be spying on them.
Jeong Tae-ui briefly entertained the idea of Rigrow being a spy, but there was no clear conclusion.
It seemed like Rigrow had read Jeong Tae-ui’s thoughts, as he gave a faint smile. But instead of answering the question, he spoke casually.

“It’s not just me who’s restricted from entering here. So, what brings you here? You don’t need to ask, though. The answer is pretty obvious.”
Rigrow murmured slowly. Then, he suddenly tilted his head and chuckled softly.
“By the way, I wonder what you were doing with that pretty young guy. His face was turning quite deliciously red.”

At Rigrow’s soft words, Jeong Tae-ui’s face went rigid. The way Rigrow muttered with that subtle tone, the same tone that had brushed against his lips before, made Jeong Tae-ui feel the faint sensation of Shinru’s cheek against his lips once again. His face turned redder.
Jeong Tae-ui, unable to help himself, raised his hand to his face and wiped it with the back of his hand. But the moment he did that, he regretted it. His face only became hotter, and Rigrow chuckled from the front.
Jeong Tae-ui’s frustration grew. There was no reason to be mocked by someone else. Neither he nor Shinru deserved it.

“No matter what happened, it’s none of your business.”
“Oh? I wonder about that. I’m curious. What kind of reaction would that pretty young man have? How warm would his breath be? How sweet would his cry be? That kind of thing…”
Rigrow whispered, drawing out his words. Jeong Tae-ui shot him a cold glare.

Damn it. He had a bad feeling ever since the moment they met, and it was exactly as he feared.
Jeong Tae-ui felt anxious. His mouth went dry. If this man was looking at Shinru in that way, no one would feel good about it, but with this man, it felt even worse. Not just bad, but a deep, overwhelming sense of dread washed over him.
This madman, despite his twisted personality and demeanor, looked perfectly normal on the outside. He had a body and face capable of drawing a crowd with just a little movement.

To be honest, Jeong Tae-ui had to admit one thing—he was better than this man only in terms of his humanity.
In terms of looks, strength, or ability, there was nothing to claim superiority over Rigrow. The only thing Jeong Tae-ui could confidently say he had over this man was humanity, and that wasn’t because Jeong Tae-ui was superior, but because Rigrow was frighteningly inferior.
“So, what you’re trying to say is that you like Shinru? Is that it?”

“Shinru? Ah, so the young man’s name is Shinru. Well, he’s not bad. Actually, he’s quite nice. If it’s him…”
Rigrow spoke, taking a step toward Jeong Tae-ui. And then another.
As he slowly approached, Jeong Tae-ui furrowed his brows.

He had forgotten for a moment. Nothing good could come from meeting this man. No, he should’ve run away the moment he saw him, even if it was just the ends of his hair from far away. He still remembered the feeling of Rigrow’s neck under the barrel of his gun.
Jeong Tae-ui flinched, but quickly corrected himself and stayed in place. It was already too late to run. Running away now would just make him look foolish. Besides, who would kill someone in a hallway like this? Then again, who knew.
“Why so tense?” Rigrow said, noticing Jeong Tae-ui standing still, shoulders stiff. He shrugged playfully, but the smile was more chilling than anything else. Rigrow kept walking closer, never slowing down.

One step, two steps, one more.
Jeong Tae-ui locked eyes with Rigrow’s dark gaze, his body tensing completely.
How far is he going to come? At this distance, Rigrow could reach out and touch him.

But Rigrow took another step forward, then stopped.
There were barely two or three inches between them. Rigrow stood there, looking down at Jeong Tae-ui. His eyes were as cold as ice, though there was a faint smile on his lips.
This was a dangerous position. No, it was beyond dangerous. Jeong Tae-ui cursed himself for his foolishness. In this position, if Rigrow moved, Jeong Tae-ui was done for. There would be no time to try any trick to escape. He should’ve stopped him with his steps much earlier.

“Strange… Where did that bravado from earlier go, huh?”
Rigrow said quietly, with a hint of amusement in his voice, like a hum.
Jeong Tae-ui stared directly at him. His eyes were so cold that he seemed inhuman. Goosebumps spread across Jeong Tae-ui’s skin. It was hard to believe a man like this existed.

“Jeong Tae-ui.”
Rigrow slowly called his name. His clear, precise pronunciation seemed to claim, “I know you,” as if declaring he knew him perfectly.
Rigrow tilted his head slightly. His hand moved up. It seemed like it was just about to touch Jeong Tae-ui’s wrist, but instead, it slowly slid up, gently caressing his arm, over his elbow, shoulder, and neck. The smooth, soft touch of his leather glove felt like a snake winding up Jeong Tae-ui’s skin. The dark blue gloves were clean, almost devoid of color, but there was an unmistakable sense of blood in the air.

The hand moved to Jeong Tae-ui’s cheek, then his ear, and finally through his hair. It was a soft, tender touch—one that could easily snap Jeong Tae-ui’s neck.
The hand rested on the back of Jeong Tae-ui’s head, pulling him gently closer. It felt like being pulled into an embrace, as Rigrow’s shoulder came so close to Jeong Tae-ui’s face.
A gentle whisper brushed his ear.

“That... is that yours?”
Jeong Tae-ui stiffened, his body twitching with confusion.
Rigrow’s eyes were on Shinru’s room, looking beyond the door. Maybe he was looking at Shinru himself, just on the other side of the door. His eyes, faint and cruel, narrowed.

“No?”
Before Jeong Tae-ui could respond, Rigrow answered for him, his voice filled with satisfaction. He chuckled softly, brushing Jeong Tae-ui’s head a few times before releasing his arm. Jeong Tae-ui stepped back, glaring fiercely at Rigrow.