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Chapter 29.5 Weet (Book II)



Walter sat on a rug, leaning against the side of the trunk and staring down at Leaf's body, trying to think through the situation and determine what he should do. He had briefly experimented with pacing as a means of stimulating ideas, but after tripping over or running into several tables, chairs, and a particularly hard-to-overlook tree trunk, the only conclusion he reached was that he was still under the influence of the serum and best leave pacing for another time.

The capuchin sat in the lid of the trunk, watching Walter. Aside from occasionally scratching itself with the crook of its staff, it had not moved since revealing the doppelgänger's dirty work.

As part of Walter's skittering mental montage, an image from a CPR course he'd taken at work the previous year flashed by. "Hold on a second, Walter," he said. "First things first." With a trembling hand, he reached into the trunk and laid two fingers against Leaf's wrist. After a few seconds, tears blurred his already unsteady vision. "Sweet biscuits," he said, looking up at the monkey. "She's alive!"

The monkey looked back at Walter.

"But what's wrong with her? He, it, didn't tie her up in there. And this trunk wasn't locked." Walter looked over his shoulder at the doppelgänger's unmoving form where it had lain since the hummingbird had felled it. With some reluctance, he activated his UI, and its explosive appearance prompted a wave of nausea as he'd anticipated. Taking a deep breath, he looked through the panels and reread the earlier entry he'd seen.

Alpine Capuchin (Huitzilopochtli Clan) pricks a Level 18 Doppelgänger (Thomanji'yheri) with a silver lancet (Dragə Venom laced) for 1 point of damage.

"Drag…something-or-other venom," he said aloud. He pushed away the UI, swayed for a moment, and then looked at the monkey. "It seems awfully likely that he'd have used on her the same thing he was planning to use on me, which means…," Walter's eyes teared again, "she should be OK. I think this is the same venom that Dusk accidentally got her with, back in that room under the river last time we were here. And the gnomes we found were able to heal her!" Gratitude toward the monkey overwhelmed Walter. "Thank you so much, little friend, for letting me know she was here. I'd hate to think what could have happened otherwise…" He gave the monkey a weary but elated toothy halfling smile.

The capuchin's eyes widened, and it crouched, barked, and jumped at Walter's face.

"No, no, no!" Walter screamed as he fell backward, kicking out and catching the monkey in the stomach, which sent it flying over his head.

The next few minutes—how many minutes Walter could not possibly guess—passed in a queasy, unsteady blur for Walter as he first fled from the capuchin—ricocheting off object after object within the tent—before finally taking cover behind an upended chair, where he equipped his bee veil and then spatula and began a desperate defense against a series of objects hurdled by his irate assailant.

Vision still swimming, Walter thanked his lucky stars for the enchanted utensil as, at his bidding, it deflected a still-smoking candlestick. "Are you a frenemy," Walter shouted, thinking the slang appropriate for the situation and, spurred on by an inkwell that narrowly missed his head, added, "or foenemy?" Walter ducked lower behind the chair. "I know we got off on the wrong foot," he called, "and my daughter probably would give me a hard time for calling it a misunderstanding, but it was, you know. I would be very, very happy to get you reunited with your little pack of friends A.S.A.P., but I'm in the middle of a bit of a pickle with the friend of mine you found in the trunk, and it may take a little time before I'm in a position to help, if you don't want to just go back to the forest on your own, that is—." Something shattered against the front of the chair, which caused Walter to raise his head to investigate. The capuchin had moved to a side table on which stood an array of bottles and glasses, all eminently throwable. Walter raised his spatula in preparation and, absorbed in what felt, at least to him, like a life-and-death struggle, did not notice the tent flap open briefly and Këyvf and Yorrin step through.

Yorrin's tiny gnome eyes immediately fixed on Thomanji'yheri's unmoving body, while Këyvf's eyes quickly surveyed the entire room. A second later, the gnome drew his tiny needle-like rapier and charged toward Walter, shouting, "Treachery!" Këyvf followed almost immediately, reaching over her shoulder and drawing her khopesh as she did.

Turning and seeing the charging gnome and orc, Walter started to proclaim his innocence, but no sound had yet left his lips before a glass decanter smashed against the side of his veiled head, and he toppled.

Këyvf lunged forward, swung down the khopesh, and caught Yorrin's stomach against the blunt inside of its crook, pulling him to an almost instantaneous stop and causing the gnome to emit a tiny puffing sound as the air was squeezed out of him. Këyvf immediately then rotated her weapon a few degrees so that another candle, already in flight, impacted against the sharp exterior of the blade, sending one waxy half over Yorrin and the other into the rug at his feet. "Hold, Yorrin," she said firmly and turned her head to stare at the capuchin. "No more," she said loudly.

The capuchin emitted a series of barks and waved its staff at Këyvf.

Këyvf unhooked Yorrin, pointed her khopesh at the capuchin, and growled.

The capuchin emitted a sharp cry and shook its staff at Walter.

Këyvf growled more fiercely at the capuchin.

The capuchin crossed its arms, fell back into a deep squat, barred its teeth at Këyvf, and was silent.

"What means all this, Këyvf?" Yorrin said, rubbing his stomach and keeping his rapier raised toward Walter.

"If foul play," Këyvf said, "Wurmslayer not cause."

"Th-that's true," Walter said. He rubbed the side of his head with his free hand as he struggled to use the spatula to push himself into a sitting position.

At the sound of Walter's Charisma-infused voice, Yorrin immediately nodded and sheathed his rapier. "I can see now that it is so. My apologies Wurmslayer," he looked toward Thomanji'yheri's body, "though I have to admit I still am of half a mind to run you through for good measure."

"If it's any comfort," Walter said, "that half of your mind won out on a previous occasion in a different world."

"Tell Këyvf what happened," Këyvf said.

Walter looked cautiously over the upturned chair before standing and pointing at the doppelgänger. "That," he said with more confidence than he usually felt in this world, "is not Tom. That is something else." He took a few seconds to check his UI and then nodded. "A dappled thinger," he said, confidence still running high. "It poisoned me. Or drugged me. In the juice. Good juice, aside from the poisoning-drugging aspect. And I was just starting to realize that it wasn't Tom, because Tom would never do that, when I also realized that, well…" Walter looked uncertainly at the two NPCs.

"Well what?" Këyvf said.

"Well…you see, I tend to have an effect on people. My…natural charisma, you might say." Walter looked between Këyvf and Yorrin.

Këyvf and Yorrin nodded in unison.

"Right," Walter said, "just so. But with that," he pointed to the thinger, "I realized it clearly intended me harm, but when I talked to it, it seemed less inclined to do so."

Këyvf and Yorrin looked at Walter, confused.

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"Right, well, the other thing you need to know is that certain people in this world aren't affected by my charisma, and Tom, the real Tom, is one of those. But that," he pointed again, "seemed to be affected, so it couldn't be Tom. And then it appeared," he pointed at the capuchin, "and helped me poke the thinger with the needly bit it was going to poke me with. Drag…, drag…um venom on the poker, you see?" Walter's eyebrows rose hopefully. Then his eyes widened as the chaos of his little set-to with the monkey receded and he remembered the shocking revelation that had followed the thinger's attack. "Leaf!" Walter shouted. He hurried around the chair, finding that he was still a little woozy but more sure-footed than during the fracas. He hastened to the open trunk and pointed inside. "Leaf!" He said again, realizing as he did that he was doing only a slightly more articulate job of relaying the shocking information than had the monkey when it had clued Walter in.

Këyvf and Yorrin joined him, and Yorrin hopped into the open lid as had the capuchin earlier. "Gods!" Yorrin cried when he saw Leaf within.

Këyvf bent and examined the unmoving elf. "Alive." She grunted with what sounded to Walter almost like disappointment. "You say dragə venom?"

Walter nodded.

Këyvf turned her head and whistled through her front teeth. Not two seconds passed before the tent flap opened, and one of the guards who had been stationed without leaned in.

"Bring healers. And casters," Këyvf said. "And sound call. For guard only."

As the soldier nodded, her eyes flicked over the scene within the tent, and then she withdrew, and the flap fell closed.

"But, Këyvf," Yorrin said, "how did you know to stay my hand after we'd entered? I've seen you dispatch threats to the Commander more quickly and without a moment of discussion."

Këyvf squatted, her forearms resting on her knees. "Commander seemed…little off. Been for a while now. I thought maybe just the camp beans. But he would forget things or say things that didn't make sense. You not notice?"

Yorrin shook his tiny head and shrugged. "I'm disappointed to say that I didn't. But, with our dwindling supplies, much of our meeting time has been consumed with discussion of the Quartermaster's reports. I'm sure you've overheard."

Këyvf grunted. "You not notice he stopped complaining when meeting with you about supplies? Not like him."

Yorrin's expression cycled through confusion, surprise, and disappointment. The gnome facepalmed, and in the ensuing silence, Walter had a moment to wonder whether that gesture had always been part of the game or whether the characters of the world could have picked it up from his daughter during their previous visit.

"You're right!" Yorrin said. "I'd actually been pleased with the recent tenor of our meetings. So…efficient."

"When I left tent earlier," Këyvf said, "it," she inclined her head toward the doppelgänger, "told me to relieve my soldiers who had been on duty. I talk to them on way to finding you. Asked if Leaf had left tent yet. They say no, but I hadn't seen Leaf when delivering the Wurmslayer. Something wrong."

Yorrin nodded. "But then, the most important question." He and Këyvf turned to look at the form of the doppelgänger lying near them, which prompted Walter to do so as well. "When did it replace the Commander? And where is he?"

Këyvf stood. "Sillicaos." She swung her khopesh over her shoulder and dropped it into its scabbard. "Yorrin, we search tent."

"Not to distract from other important matters," Yorrin said, "but why is there a capuchin monkey in the tent?"

"Can also be tiny bird, eh?" Këyvf said. "Saw nearby earlier." She looked at the capuchin. "You put down doppelgänger. Why?"

The capuchin barred its teeth at Këyvf.

"We," Walter said, "I mean, Leaf and I, met it and its little troupe in the woods on our way here."

"Why it here now?" Këyvf said.

Walter looked at her uncomfortably, uncertain what to say.

"Why it help you?" Këyvf said.

"That I am even less sure about," Walter said.

"It have name?"

Walter reluctantly activated his UI and, after a few seconds, located what he was looking for.

Alpine Capuchin (Huitzilopochtli Clan) pricks a Level 18 Doppelgänger (Thomanji'yheri) with a silver lancet (Dragə Venom laced) for 1 point of damage.

"I don't think I know its name, but I can tell you the name of its clan." Walter's lips moved silently for a few seconds before he thought better of it and proceeded to spell the clan name letter by letter.

"Huitzilopochtli," Yorrin said slowly and nodded. "From a pantheon of which I've heard but of which I have little knowledge. A friend to us on this day, at least."

Through the panels of his UI, Walter looked at the monkey. It did not seem inclined to leave. "Quite a name there. Whutsayleepuchtahlees."

"Huitzilopochtli," Yorrin said more slowly, emphasizing the many errors Walter had inflicted on the name.

Walter cleared his throat. "Maybe we could just call it Weet?" Information within his UI shifted, and his eyes searched out the movement.

Weet (Alpine Capuchin, Huitzilopochtli Clan) pricks a Level 18 Doppelgänger (Thomanji'yheri) with a silver lancet (Dragə Venom laced) for 1 point of damage.

"Oh, good," Walter said to himself. He dispelled the UI and smiled.

Walter wouldn't have guessed that Këyvf, being such a large person, could move as fast as was required to intercept the monkey as it flew toward Walter's face for the third time that day. Once caught, she held the monkey in both hands, its arms pressed to its sides, and she and the creature proceeded to have some sort of growl-off Walter didn't understand, but the conclusion being that Weet eventually quieted and Këyvf placed it in the trunk lid next to Yorrin while Walter studiously kept his mouth closed and teeth out of sight.

Staring at the monkey, which was obviously still perturbed, Walter wondered if it was immune to his charms like other non-people creatures they'd met—those deceptively named and clearly gigantic spiderlings came to mind—or if it could be the same type of higher-level AI Tom was. But why would a monkey need a high-level AI?

"Wurmslayer," Këyvf said, "answer healers' questions when they arrive. We search tent."

For the next several minutes, Walter focused his attention on Leaf, with an occasional glance toward the capuchin, the capuchin focused his attention on Walter, with an occasional glance toward Këyvf, Leaf and the doppelgänger stared vacantly at whatever it was in their line of sight, and Këyvf and Yorrin began a painstaking search of every inch of the command tent. When the two healers arrived, Këyvf sent them straight to where Walter sat. One healer, whom Walter guessed might be an elf, was willowy with skin pale enough to reveal the veins within and beauty akin to the twins and peppered him with questions about Leaf's condition, interspersed, to Walter's frustration, with reverent questions about Walter himself. The other healer, who had brown skin and sported a pair of horns that curved back along the sides of his head in a way that reminded Walter of haircuts in his youth, examined Leaf while listening to and occasionally contributing to the questions being asked, both medical and obsequious. Due to the minimal information Walter actually possessed on the subject of Leaf's incapacitation, the balance of questions quickly shifted to focus on him.

At some point, Walter registered that Këyvf left the tent for a few minutes to give orders to members of the guard unit she seemed to command. Not long after she returned, a half-dozen casters arrived, two of whom Këyvf enlisted in the search of the tent and the rest of whom she sent to various locations in the camp. Soon after, when the healers felt prepared to remove Leaf from the trunk, Walter politely excused himself and joined Këyvf and Yorrin, who were rifling through stacks of papers on a table.

"Anything useful?" Walter said.

Këyvf shook her head. "Imposter did good job not leaving trail."

From tabletop eye level, Walter watched the two work until a voice behind him caused them to pause.

"Just back from the rookery, ma'am."

Walter turned to find the speaker to be one of Këyvf soldiers, a tall, sepia-skinned human, with such a large scar down one side of his nose that Walter imagined there might have been some risk of the whole feature being lost at the time of injury.

Këyvf nodded.

"The Keeper says the Commander had stopped using birds in the camp pool and had added two of his own."

"When?"

"During the march from the border."

Këyvf exchanged a glance with Yorrin.

"Where he been sending them?" Këyvf said.

The soldier, who already stood at virtually impeccable attention, straightened a modicum further. "Ma'am?"

"Speak, soldier," Yorrin said. He pointed to where the doppelgänger lay. "That is an impostor and spy. Your Commander of the Guard is the acting commander of the camp."

The soldier nodded. "Unfortunately, the Keeper does not know. The Commander would instruct the birds himself."

Këyvf nodded, and the soldier stepped away.

"Have caster try communicate with rooks?" Këyvf said to Yorrin.

"At best, we'd gain a general sense of their destination, likely nothing actionable. Probably little more than if we simply released them to return to their most recent point of call. We'd see their departure vector and then they'd be lost to us."

"These rooks, am I correct in thinking they are birds?" Walter said.

Këyvf nodded.

"Would it help," Walter said tentatively, "if we had a way to follow them once they took flight?"

"By wing?" Këyvf said.

Walter nodded.

"You have this way, Wurmslayer?"

Walter nodded again. "But you should probably just call me Walter if we're going to use it."

The horned healer approached the trio, and Këyvf acknowledged him with a nod. "We can have her conscious in two hours," the healer said. "She may need the full night before she can attempt any real activity.

"Two hours have to do," Këyvf said. "She need to toughen up anyway."

"This means we're going to follow the birds?" Walter said.

"You can have our wings ready in two hours?" Këyvf said.

"If I could receive a horseback ride to the ridge to prepare them, then yes. Our winged mounts were quite literally born ready," Walter said with a dropping feeling in his stomach.

"Then two hours."

"One other thing, though, before we leave," Walter said. "Could we stop back by the blacksmith?"


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