Paragon of Weaponmasters

"Uh…" I look around at the thousands of faces. "Hey."

In waves, they all take a knee, professing loyalty to me.

I laugh awkwardly.

"Uh, no thanks." I turn and walk out.

"Refusal of the call." Halanaestra says dreamily as I pass her. "Just like the story of the hero's quest."

"I think it's a little late for that part." Imizael comments.

"What part is he on than?" Halanaestra asks.

"Atonement, maybe?" Imizael shrugs. "My books usually don't adhere to it."

"They don't have hertstons, do they?" I ask Peter outside of the castle.

"Nope. gotta walk all the way back to Foundation." He confirms.

"Better get going, we're on the clock." I say.

9 days, 20 hours

"Hey, Earl?" Peter stops me.

"What's up? I ask

"It's four o'clock in the morning, I gotta get to bed." His yawn reinforces his point.

"Okay, but…" I try to think of how to put it. "I have to keep going. After being trapped in limbo, I've got less than ten days to pay my subscription."

"I know. I'll figure something out." he assures me.

"Okay. I'm sorry." I say.

He opens his arms, and I accept the hug. We're not manly men by any means, but I do think this is the first hug we've shared.

"You're gonna get through this." he tells me.

We part, and I nod.

"Thank you for all of your help, Peter. I couldn't have done it without you." I say, misty eyed.

"Hey, don't count me out yet. I said I'll figure something out!" he gives me a goofy anime protagonist thumbs-up. I laugh.

"Okay. Catch you later." I say as he logs out.

"Are we ready to go?" I call to the remaining group. We're down to seventeen people.

"Ready!" Oorrccaa says, leading the pack.

"Next on the hit list is the honorlord." I tell them. The Civilization-aligned children whoop and cheer.

We start the long walk back home. Helga pulls up next to me, keeping pace.

"So, you an Talindra, huh?" She asks.

"Yeah." I say.

"Does she remind you of your wife?" She asks. "Sorry, maybe that's too personal. Nevermind."

"It's ok. You'd be surprised, she might match her closely aesthetically, but their personalities couldn't be more different." I tell her.

"Oh? Was your ex not the nurturing type?" She inquires.

"No. She found me annoying. She told me when we argued." I sigh.

"What a bitch." Helga snarls.

"That's just a bit too far, Helga." I say.

"Sorry. You're not mad at her? Hate her, even?" she wonders.

"No. She's the mother of my child, and my widow. Maybe we weren't perfect for eachother, but there was something there more often than not." I shrug.

"Is that what draws you to Talindra?" she asks. "Other than her dump truck ass, rocking tits, beautiful skin, eyes, hair…"

I laugh. "Yeah, she's… nice to me. It's not a high bar I guess, but… she looks at me like she just wants to hold me until the nightmares stop, you know?"

"Yeah." she agrees. "I'm happy for you. I'll still drag you to bed until you tell me you're exclusive, but no hard feelings when the time comes, okay?"

"Sure." I chuckle.

"Dad sure is a ladies man, huh?" Oorrcca asks one of his siblings. I don't hear the response.

We arrive at the arch, and fight our way through the assembly outside. Down the halls, around the corner, we finally arrive at the portal.

"They'll be waiting for us on the other side." Helga warns me.

"Good." I say, drawing Thozur.

We're attacked as soon as we cross the threshold.

I swing up, crushing an orc's jaw into his skull, knocking him flat on his back. My other two weapons leave their sheaths and clear a path.

"Where's the dungeon arch?" I ask.

"Follow me!" Helga leads the way.

We have to fight the entire way there, though it's not much of a challenge. Only normal guards block our path, the honor guards must be held in reserve. The loading screen for this dungeon is much the same as the other, Masstaoir burns under the Honorlord's scornful gaze.

Yeah, look down on me for the rest of your life. It won't be long.

The front of the dungeon is just inside the front gate, the myriad races of the Civilization have assembled in front of the inn. I spot Mournthing and Farroris among their people.

"Hail, Paragon!" Farroris calls to me, crossing the distance between us. "How do you fare, friend?"

"I'm well, and you?" I shake his hand.

"It is a beautiful day for a revolution, is it not?" he bares his huge tiger teeth in a vicious grin.

"Agreed." I grin my orcish cananines right back at him.

"Paragon." Mournthing greets me coldly.

"King emperor." I return his greeting.

"You bought the kids?" Farrois asks, surprised.

"I was a little lacking in other heroes to bring." I inform him. "They're capable fighters, one and all."

"We'll need everything you've got. The honorlord hasn't made it easy on us." Mournthing tells me.

"Have the dwarves arrived yet?" I ask, looking for them.

"I've seen neither hide nor hair of any dwarves." Farrois tells me.

"Odd. They promised they'd be here." I'm surprised the king would go back on his word, he was pretty insistent that he was a stand-up guy. Maybe a little too insistent?

Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

"Unfortunate." Mournthing mutters.

"Well, no time like the present. Let's split up and tackle the districts one after another, yeah?" I say.

"Exactly!" Farrois says. "See you in the trade district, Paragon."

"My people will find their way to the class quarter, Paragon." Mournthing leads his people away.

The goblins stand there, waiting for directions.

"No leader, huh?" I ask. They collectively nod. I look over their heads towards Jack's scrap shop. "I might have an idea."

I find jack drumming his fingers on a counter. "Earl?"

"Sup jack. You busy?" I ask

"Fuck no, but… what's goin' on here? The world got weird." he walks around to me.

"You're in a dungeon. We're killing the honorlord." I tell him.

"Tits," he responds.

"Think you could take the goblins down to…" what district is left… "The Honorlord's part of town, and wait there for us?

"Sure thing, let me just put my crown on." He picks up a used coffee filter and puts it on his head "how do i look?"

"Ridiculous." I smirk.

He rips it off and chucks it. "Of course i do, I'm not the goblin king. Who do I look like, David Bowie?"

"You look more like Rocket Raccoon, to be honest." I tell him.

"Yeah I fuckin' sound like him too. Except the mouse can't tell me I can't do this." the flips me the bird, then another. Then he makes a jerk-off motion. They he lets one rip.

We both laugh. I needed that.

"Alright, just escort them there. You don't have to be in charge or anything, just show them the way." I clarify.

"Fine, fine. I'm going." he walks past me and starts barking orders at his brethren.

I walk back to the inn, finding it empty. Why is Jack here, but they're not? A mystery for another day, I suppose.

"Ready to go?" Helga asks.

"Yep. let's get to it. Trade, then class, then the upper city?" I ask.

"Sounds good to me." she nods.

We make our way through the muddy streets, they seem particularly loose today, as if the honorlord purposefully soaked them to make it difficult terrain. The bastard.

The trade district is quiet when we arrive. Empty, even. First the dwarves, now the Beastmen?

"Where is everyone?" Oorrcca asks.

"Dunno." I respond. I walk out into the center of the district, not expecting three floating axes to suddenly assault me.

Wudhagh, Second Axe of Honorlord Mergigoth Dragonslayer. Level 71

Wurkul, Third Axe of Honorlord Mergigoth Dragonslayer. Level 71

Woghuglat, Fourth Axe of Honorlord Mergigoth Dragonslayer. Level 71

Pay for your crimes!

Die without honor!

Miserable cur!

The three sons, brought back in the form of axes, rip into me before I can draw my own weapons. Their second swings are blocked, but my health is already critically low.

"Dad!" Faraine screams, sending a barrage of healing cherry blossoms my way. My health returns, and my many children attempt to bring the axes down.

Without health bars, they don't seem to take any damage, even as they are attacked from seventeen sides.

"What do we do? They won't die!" Sundamar calls out.

I catch my breath and get to my feet. It would be too simple to assume the weaponmaster controlling them is taking damage… is there even one in the first place?

I extend my will outward, trying to seek out a connection. I don't know if it's just not possible for me to detect, or if there truly isn't one. All I feel is three axes, filled with hatred. How do you kill that which has no life?

If I may make a suggestion, sir.

Go ahead, Kingmaker.

Metal weapons share a weakness with most other things… heat.

"Darthoridan! Light the forge!" I point towards the nearby smithy. My bear charges in without hesitation.

I turn my attention to the three axes. My taunt spell probably won't do anything… but that doesn't mean regular taunts won't work.

"The honorlord is weak, and his sons are all dead because they're weaker!" I yell.

The three axes freeze in the air, then dramatically turn their blades to face me. I can hear their angry screams in my head. I book it towards the smithy, diving through the entry as the axes take a swing at me.

I take a lungful of breath, feeling the searing hit of the forge in my throat. I command the three of them to throw themselves into the fire, but they don't budge. They don't kill me either, which is nice at least.

"Come on… you… fucking… pieces of… shit!" I grind out through gritted teeth.

A little help, guys?

My three weapons slam into the backend of the axes, pushing them a solid foot before they resist again. I growl, putting everything I've got into it.

Darthoridan walks past me towards the axes.

"Son, stay back!" I order him. He ignores me, reaching out and grabbing the three axes in his arms. He crosses the room, back to the forge, and plunges the three into the fire with his hands.

His body tenses, but he does not call out, scream, or whimper. I run over and try to pull him away, but he's just too big to move.

"Samblar, Adorellan, help me!" I call on my two strongest children. They join me, wrapping themselves around his shoulders. We pull as one, and successfully tear him away.

His hands are burnt wrecks. There's nothing left of them except ash and bone past his elbows.

"Healers!" I call, they file in and get to work.

I move to the forge, and watch the three axes finish melting down to slag. I hear them screaming in agony, as whatever magic that made them fades from the molten metal.

[Hate-forged Orichalcum Bar]x3 added to inventory.

I turn my attention back to my son, unconcerned with loot.

The healers have brought him back from the brink of death, but his ruined hands are simply too far gone. His arms are now fully healed stumps just below the elbow.

"Thank you, Darthoridan." I press my forehead to his. He's unconscious, but he knows how thankful I am for his sacrifice, and how proud I am of my strongest son.

Kingmaker, get under him and carry him home. Please.

Your will be done.

The huge sword acts as a stretcher, lifting Darthoridan from the floor and carrying him away.

I shake my head, and look up at my gathered children. "No more heroics. I will come back if I die, you won't. Understood?"

They all nod, obviously unnerved by loss.

"Class quarters next. Keep your eyes peeled, things are not right in here." Helga tells us. "You killed the three youngest, so their boss fight was different. Next up should be the captain of the guard."

"I killed him too." I inform her.

"Great." she sighs.

We find out way to the trainer district, this time I can immediately tell where the fight is. Angry shouting and a magical glow emanate from the portal area.

"Release me, you ants!" someone yells.

Is that Apaki?

Yes. I will scout ahead, at your leave.

Please do, Thozur.

My hammer flies high into the air and circles the portal like a vulture.

Apaki is in chains, surrounded by hooden orcs and… a cyclops, based on the shape.

Thank you Thozur, please return.

"We've got a chained-up god on our hands." I tell the group.

"The gods are all dead, Earl." Helga reminds me.

"Not this one." I correct her. "Not yet, at least."

I lead the group up the small hill to the stonehenge-esquire portal zone. Just as Thozur said, Apaki is chained to the stone around him, and surrounded by cultists. The largest by far turns to look at me, with one big, glowing red eye in the center of his head.

On reflex, my weapons fan out behind me, ready to attack.

"Welcome to the execution of the final human god, my people." he announces with a deep, resonating voice, a slight electric tinge punctuates every syllable. He draws back his hood, and the entire cloak covering his silvery body falls away.

Dark iron chains cross his exposed chest, connecting to manacles on his wrists and ankles. He wears pants, thankfully, that appear to be a ruined but clean striped prison uniform, the top half fallen and draping around the back.

His skin is sectional, like an insects, connecting plates of shining metal. His robotic face resembles a flesh-and-blood cyclops, if they were in a Michael Bay movie.

Panopticon, Honorlord's Advisor. Level ??

"Please, join me. Today, the final god falls, and with him, humanity." he holds his arms wide and welcoming.

"I command you to free me, worms!" Apaki pulls at his bindings. They must be, more than just metal chains, I can't imagine anything strong enough to hold a god.

Is the enemy of my enemy my friend? If so, what direction? I'm so conflicted, it feels like I'm actually benign torn in half.

Paragon Earl says: What do we do here?

Paragon Helga says: fuck if i know. Is that cyclops the god damned monitor?

Paragon Earl says: Yes, but it's roleplaying I think.

"Earl! Get me out of here, damn you!" Apaki commands me.

"Hey, fuck you buddy. You tried to kill me like, three times." I flip him off.

"I am a GOD! I am above you! You will listen to me!" he rambles.

I make the 'blah blah blah' gesture with my hand.

Panopticon walks towards me, my fight or flight kicks into overdrive, but I end up freezing like a deer.

"You'll help me rid the world of this parasite, won't you?" he asks, a huge, shiny grin on his face.

"What will get me to the Honorlord faster?" I ask

The cyclops seems offended, glaring at me a with half-closed lens.

"Get to? Do you mean to fight him?" He asks.

Damn, I chose the wrong dialogue option.

"Yes. he's a tyrant, and we mean to bring his reign to an end." I stand my ground.

"I see." the maybe-Monitor says. "Unfortunate."

He raises his arms, my weapons attempt to chop them off, but they glace right off of his metal skin, shooting sparks. A black hole forms behind Apaki, I watch helplessly as my entire group is pulled past me into the yawning void. The cyclops is blocking my path, so I'm spared just long enough to hear it's goodbye.

"You won't escape this time, Luke."