Paragon of Weaponmasters

I step through the portal, the creature-feature loading screen of leaders fading away to reveal the familiar trees of the Gormer Forest. Peter is waiting for me next to a tiger beastman I swear I recognize.

Alpha Farroris. Level ??

Peter says: The leader of the beastmen has a name now! Remember we saved him and his son?

I extend my hand, shaking the named N.P.C.'s hand… err, paw.

"It has been a long time, Paragon Earl. Congratulations on your new station." He says in a growly voice.

"Thank you. How is your son?" I ask.

"He is well. Peter just told me you've recently become a father as well, additional Congratulations. I wish him excellent health."

I squint at Peter, he shrugs.

"What can we do for you?" I ask, noting the floating exclamation point above the leader's head.

"Do not concern yourself, it is what I can do for you that is important."

Honored Guests Accepted!

Tour Cumbergonie 0/1

Attend the reunification ceremony 0/1

I blink several times. Neither of those objectives sound like I have to kill something to complete them.

"Are… are we the honored guests?" I ask.

Farroris claps me on the back. "Indeed you are, friend!" He wrangles Peter as well. "Come! Let me show you around."

He walks us across the clearing towards the city of trees, none of the structures are made of processed lumber, they are instead naturally formed by trees twisted into useful shapes. Just like the elf fortress dungeon. We pass beastmen, who all seem friendly and happy. The elves we pass are no different, bidding us welcome as we walk through the pathways.

"The Elves welcomed us home with open arms. Separation was not our desire, the leader of the elves sold out his people to the humans, and allowed their prejudice to cast us out into the hands of the orcs. No offence, my friend." Farroris tells us as we pass citizens of this hidden city.

"None taken." I say, admiring the tall buildings.

"This is the shaper's guild, where druids discover new ways to encourage growth in helpful directions." he sweeps his arm, gesturing inside an open-faced building where elves and beastmen sit in a circle, meditating around a sapling that bends and waves towards them as if caught in slow but powerful winds.

"This is the library, where all of the known history of the world is kept." Instead of books, inside is an elf telling a treant something. The tree-man nods, listening intently.

"I might have something for them." I speak up.

"Oh?" Farroris responds.

"I recently found a mural depicting the rise and fall of the orcish empire." I tell him.

"Fascinating. I'm sure the head librarian would be enthralled by such a tale."

We move along towards the first building with curtains hung in the entryway.

"This is the population center." Farroris tells us, pulling the curtain aside. "It would appear they wouldn't mind your company, Earl."

Inside, several beastwomen and elves wave at me, some wear leafy lingerie, and others wear nothing at all. I wave back, chuckling nervously. I turn to see Peter covering his eyes with one hand and waving with the other.

"From what I understand of orc mating practices, Lagakh would encourage you to spread your mighty seed far and wide." Farroris gives me a wink.

"Maybe later." I gesture with my head to Peter, who hasn't stopped waving.

Farroris and I both grab an elbow and drag him away.

"Finally, this is the Prime Nurturer's chamber. The leader of the Gormer elves is eager to meet you."

Tour Cumbergonie 1/1

Inside, a single elf meditates in an otherwise empty room. She has a certain energy about her, reminding me of the fae queen.

Prime Nurturer Talindra. Level ??

"Greetings, Paragon and Friend of Paragons." she says, opening her eyes. It's like staring at the surface of the moon, two subtly glowing off-white irises. The gray-white of her eyes is contrasted by the rich darkness of her skin, a night sky for the orbs to shine in. My heart jumps in my chest.

They're right about me and women, aren't they?

"Greetings to you as well." I manage to squeeze out.

"Farroris has told me a great many things about you, we are honored to host you while the reunification ceremony commences." she tells us.

"Only good things I hope." I joke.

"Of course." she covers her mouth with one hand, chuckling softly.

Paragon Earl says: Would Lagakh be safer in Gormer?

Paragon Helga says: Maybe. I'll talk to her about it.

"Make yourselves comfortable. The ceremony will begin shortly."

The chamber grows, widening creakily in every direction. Where the elf is sitting, the floor rises above ground level, becoming a stage. Below, circular dining tables and chairs rise from the floor. Peter and I make our way down, finding seats in the second row. As soon as we sit, our chairs move across the floor, placing us in the front row.

Farroris gives us a thumbs up from the stage. Being a half-tiger, it reminds me of Tony the Tiger.

He silently mouths, "They're great!" to me.

My heart skips a beat. How would he know that reference? He's an A.I. N.P.C., right? He's not like me, couldn't be. Could he?

I'm shaken from my thoughts as the room fills with Elves and Beastmen. All of them acknowledge Peter and I, bowing one at a time.

Earl says: Is this part of the normal story quest?

Peter laughs out loud.

Peter says: No! But this is awesome!

Earl says: How did you know Lagakh was pregnant?

Peter says: Dude, every other person you talked to brought it up and you just laughed it off. How was I supposed to know you didn't know?

Earl says: I thought you were joking!

Peter says: you thought EVERYONE was joking?

Earl says: Yes!

My attention is pulled back to reality as Farroris claps his paws together.

"My people, the long awaited day of our reunification has arrived. Our guests, Paragon Earl and Friend of Paragons Peter, Saved my son and myself from execution by the orcs."

He pauses as the audience claps. We both wave and smile, not exactly sure what else to do.

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"The fae queen, Pandora, in her undying generosity, sheltered us until we were safe to leave with our fellow beastmen."

I look around the room, easily spotting the eight foot tall faerie. Last we saw her, a ghastly hole had been ripped in the front of her face, and her mouth was artificially widened. Now, she wears a porcelain mask, leaving only her eyes visible through holes. The mask matches the shifting tones of her skin, if you didn't know to look for it, you would never know she is wearing it from this distance.

We make brief eye contact, the deep sadness in her eyes breaks my heart.

"The bond between my son and the Nurturer's daughter is our peoples worst kept secret, as you all well know." He winks, and the audience laughs uproariously. Behind him on the stage, his son waves awkwardly, and an elf whom I assume to be the mentioned daughter covers her face in embarrassment. "Here today, we make their bond official. With our heirs united, so too shall our people be united!"

The audience claps, hoots and hollers.

A blinding flash interrupts the festivities, revealing an elf in front of the stage, dressed in long white robes, with the tallest ears in the room.

"There shall be no unity between my people and beasts." the new elf announces.

Ambassador Erlareo. Level ??

Earl says: Is that the guy from the loading screen?

Peter says: yes. And before you ask, NO he is not supposedn to be here.

"Our people will no longer be slaves to the humans!" the prime Nurturer announces, standing from her seat on the stage.

"Give us freedom, or give us death!" Farroris misquotes.

"Death it is!" Erlareo yells, raising his arms. Spells spring forth from his fingertips, launching fire, lightning and ice into the air.

Most of the audience forms a stampede, desperately fleeing the scene. Few stay, ready to fight. Erlareo redirects his attention to seemingly nothing, the fae queen casting some sort of illusion spell on his mind. Farroris and his son leap from the stage, clamping down jaws on either shoulder. The Prime Nurturer and her daughter stay above them, weaving nature magic to hold the ambassador in place and pelt him with thorns.

"Should we get involved?" I ask Peter.

"He's level question mark question mark, so we can't contribute much." He shrugs, drawing his daggers.

I command Thunderhead forward, they fly through the air and impact the overwhelmed wizard in his spine. He does not move, his attention still on the illusion only he can see. Peter sneaks in, and pushes two point's into the wizard's back. He doesn't even flinch. This guy is way beyond our abilities.

He either snaps out of it or the illusion expires, the wizard focuses on Farroris, grabbing his head and electrocuting him, as though his hand is a taser. Farrosis releases and backs away, avoiding further damage. As the wizard reaches for the son, I cast Illusory Clone and Telekinetic Taunt.

The wizard faces my copy, a wicked sneer on his face. He holds out his arm, a flamethrower erupting from his palm. I'm unconcerned at first, as nothing has been able to harm the clone thus far, but gape in horror as Thunderhead begins to melt under the onslaught.

Hot!

I use Recall, Thunderhead flies back into my open hand. The impact sends molten metal flying behind us, a few droplets make their way down the shaft onto my hand.

"Fuck!" I exclaim aloud as it burns through my gloves and skin.

Thunderhead does not drop to the floor, instead floating at shoulder-height. When they finally cool down from red-hot, what's left of the head is smooth and symmetrical, a fraction of its former size.

Thunderhead, Hammer of the Thunder God has been reforged!

Thozur, Thunder God Reborn added to inventory.

Wait, what?

Thozur, Thunder God Reborn - Scaling One-handed Hammer - Unique equip - Low strength - Low blunt damage

Sentient II: This weapon has true consciousness.

Floating II: This weapon can fly.

Thunder God: This weapon can cast Thunder Bolt.

Spells that cause electric damage can be cast using Thozur as the origin point.

Before I can vocalize any one of my many questions, the reborn hammer flies away and slams into the side of the wizard's head, actually knocking the man down instead of playfully massaging his scalp, like all previous blows did.

Aaaaahhh!

The hammer screams in my head with every impact, as it continues pulverizing the wizard. Attempting to defend himself, the wizard casts a spell that resembles my own Thunderbolt.

Big mistake.

The power suffuses Thozur, the speed of impacts picks up significantly, becoming a blur. The wizard does not take damage, as I can tell by his unmoving health bar, but he is pinned to the ground, as it becomes a crater underneath him one blow at a time.

The other N.P.C.s stand back, not wanting to get hit with a stray hammer swing. I'm not confident that I could explain the concept of friendly fire being turned off to them.

The wizards lets out a frustrated growl, and teleports across the room. Without missing a beat, the hammer flies after him, and has him pinned to a far wall almost immediately.

"Stop… this… damned… thing!" The wizard demands between impacts.

I activate Summon Weapon, but nothing happens.

Aaaaah!

They continue screaming in my mind. I try to cast every command spell I have one after another, none of them work.

Eventually, after teleporting around the room several more times and immediately getting thrown to the nearest surface, the wizard gives up and teleports somewhere else entirely. The others relax, it seems he is no longer nearby.

"Erlareo has retreated, though I doubt that's the last we've heard of him." Farroris says.

Honored Guests Completed! Experience gained.

"If I don't go to bed now I never will. Just promise to tell me everything tomorrow afternoon, ok?" Peter barely gets through the statement before he yawns again.

"Sure thing." I say, not taking my eyes off of the hammer.

It wavers in the air, seemingly full of nervous energy.

Whe… where am I?

Do you know where Gormer is?

Yes… how fare the elves?

They're good, thanks to us.

Farroris claps a hand on my shoulder.

"Well done my friend. We'll speak later, after we have made necessary repairs, and can reconvene for the wedding." he tells me.

Happily Ever After accepted!

Wait for Alpha Farroris to contact you 0/1

Attend the wedding of Ryul and Farhana 0/1

Huh. That's the first time I've had to wait for a quest instead of the other way around. How convenient, given Peter just logged off and I can't continue.

"Thanks. See you then." I tell him.

"Yep. See you tuesday." he responds.

"The wedding isn't until tuesday?" I ask.

"No, it's tomorrow." He tells me, and winks. He walks away before I can ask any further questions.

My mind starts to wander to Farroris' pretty obvious sentience, but I reel it back in. Right now I have to figure out what's going on with my hammer. I find them floating over one of the craters they made during the fight.

I don't remember how I got here. I know that you summoned me here, tell me why. How?

Honestly, I don't know the answer to either question. Before the fight with the wizard, you were a hammer with a limited consciousness. Now you're a whole person, but still in a hammer.

Person? I am a GOD!

The hammer, Thozur, shakes in rage. Lighting illuminates the doorway, and thunder echoes around us, deafeningly loud.

Let's take this somewhere else, ok?

Very well, orc. Lead the way.

I expected the hammer to float back into my belt loop, but they float beside me as I make my way outside. Mounting my warg, I have the feeling if I used the chariot it would just cause more problems right now. We leave the city of trees, and walk through the deep forest until we find a clearing. I dismount in the middle of it, and turn to face the hammer.

So you're Thozur, the god from the stories?

Yes, I am Thozur, God of Thunder!

Lighting and thunder emphasize his point again.

What do you remember, from before I summoned you here?

I was meeting with Odin on the peak of Jotunheim… He told me he didn't need us anymore, and then I was here.

Who is us?

The other gods and I.

You all served Odin?

No, we are equals! I raged at the implication, he must have cursed me! There is no other explanation for how I ended up inside of my own hammer.

I forged the hammer you're possessing. There was a different mind in it just an hour ago. Although maybe that was your mind, just limited in some way.

Further curses placed upon me by the traitor Odin!

Maybe.

I feel an urge to check my Next Steps menu, and find a new quest, just as I suspected I would.

Quest available: Fate of the Thunder God

Quest available: Heart of the Forest

I didn't expect the second one to be there, I accept both.

Fate of the Thunder God accepted!

Find out the truth in the Tomb of the Gods 0/1

Heart of the Forest accepted!

Obtain your reward for reuniting the children of Gormer Forest

I wonder where and what the Tomb of the Gods is, I'll have to ask Peter when he logs in. Maybe he got the second quest too? It seemed like we both got credit for the reunification.

The second quest marker is close by. I think to Thozur before moving.

Hey, I'm not going to force you to come with me, but I'd appreciate it. Without you I don't have a weapon. Maybe we can think of it as a partnership?

Thozur is silent for a long moment.

I feel a certain kinship with you, mortal. I cannot see you without eyes but I feel your soul, though you are no god, we share some qualities.

That might just be because I'm wearing your gloves and belt.

It's more than that, though I am curious how you came upon them.

I tell them the trials I had to overcome to acquire their equipment, leaving the chariot for last. When I summon the mount, Thozur flies over to the goats and gives them as close to hugs as a hammer can. The goats respond with recognition, bleating with the distress of animals who missed their human companion.

I give their reunion space, sitting on a fallen tree waiting patiently. When Thozur flies over to where I'm sitting, we nod to each other, and set off to collect my reward.