Paragon of Weaponmasters

"Just so it's clear, I'm going to record the full interview and we can cut anything compromising." Bell says in group voice chat.

"Alright." I say. "Should I meet you in the Halls of Honor?"

"Let's do an on-site interview. Where are you?" he asks.

"Under Mount Jotunheim." I tell him.

"...Under?" he asks, incredulously.

"Yep." I respond.

"Let's move it somewhere with better lighting," he says. "How about here?" He links a map marker. It's just a little ways away from the mountain, a clearing in the woods.

Exiting the mountain, I mount up and make my way over. When I arrive, he's set up some 20-foot pillars in a square formation around a picnic table. There's a slight shimmer in the air between the pillars.

"Privacy screen." he answers my unasked question.

"Neat." I say, passing through the barrier without any issues.

"I'm going to start with some easy questions, some softballs, then we can get to the heavy stuff. Anything you don't want people seeing, we'll take out, no questions asked." He reiterates.

I nod, having already agreed to these terms. We both sit at the table, facing each other.

He clears his throat.

"So, Earl. As far as our audience knows, you hacked Thunderspank's account and forced him to trade you his gear. What's your side of the story?" he asks his first question.

"I thought you said you were starting with softballs." I say.

"That is a softball because I already know the answer, and you've already told me." he responds.

"So why ask it?" I ask.

"Because we're recording this time." he gives me a look. I don't think he thinks I'm very smart.

"Fine." I say, sighing. "I did not hack Thunderspank. He walked up to me and sold me all of his equipment, plus 99 potions, and 99 steaks."

"How much did you pay for them?" he asks.

I have to think about it.

"500 gold?" I guess.

"That's an incredible deal. Thunderspank's equipment is the best available for his archetype in the game. His sword alone, Esquire, is worth well over a billion gold alone." he tells me.

I gape at that.

"A BILLION gold? You can have that much?" I wonder

"Well, not technically. A single character can carry 999,999,999 gold. You'd have to use two separate characters to pay for it, so obviously it can't be auctioned. you'd have to conduct a personal trade, and trust the other party with one gold while you switched characters." he informs me.

"I didn't know that." I tell him. "Has anyone sold it before?"

"No one except Thunderspank, to you." he says.

"Huh." I grunt.

"So he sells you his equipment, then you equip it, and unlock a never-before-seen class. How'd you do it?" He asks his second question.

"I don't know." I lie. It says under my class description.

"Earl, you can just say you don't want to tell me." he rolls his eyes.

"I don't want to tell you." I cross my arms.

"Ok." he says. "Can you tell us some things about the Weaponmaster class? Abilities, lore?" he asks his third, and technically fourth question.

"All of my abilities revolve around commanding my weapon. A few make it spin, some make it move from one place to another. Usually cutting something on it's way." I tell him.

"Could you link your abilities in chat for the audience to read?" he asks.

I hesitate, but decide it's ultimately harmless.

"Sure."

Recall Weapon - No cooldown - Command your weapon to return to your hand. Any enemies between you take damage, increasing with the distance your weapon has travelled.

Summon Weapon - Short cooldown - Conjure your weapon into your hand.

Telekinetic Taunt - Short cooldown -Short duration - Antagonize your target. It temporarily prioritizes attacking you regardless of threat generated by damage from other sources.

2nd tier: Optionally Project your taunt through your weapon.

3rd tier: Optionally taunt all nearby enemies within melee range. - Medium cooldown

Intervention - Medium cooldown - Command your weapon to intercept a melee attack made against an ally.

2nd tier: optionally intercept a spell or ranged attack.

3rd tier: optionally deflect an attack - Long cooldown

Distribute - Long cooldown - Very short duration - Half of damage dealt to you is redirected to your weapon for a short time.

2nd tier: increased duration

3rd tier: increased damage reduction to all damage

Tornado Edge - Long cooldown - Short duration - Command your weapon to spin in a stationary location. it damages all enemies within melee range for a short time.

Tier 2: Optionally move after placed

Tier 3: you can cast Tornado Edge once for each weapon equipped.

Illusory Clone - Short cooldown - Short duration - Your weapon is wielded by a copy of yourself. Non-boss enemies can target the clone.

2nd tier: Boss enemies can target the clone.

3nd tier: Optionally create a clone for each weapon.

Sword Dance - Nearby allies deal 10% more damage.

2nd tier: increased range

3rd tier: increased range

Exchange - Trade places with your weapon.

Split Sword - Long cooldown - Short duration - Command your weapon to break apart into ten pieces, each piece dealing 10% damage. The pieces can be commanded as a swarm that ignores 50% of the target's Block, Parry, Deflect, And Dodge.

tier 2: each piece deals 25% damage

tier 3: you can cast Split Sword once for each weapon equipped.

Thunder God - Long cooldown - Short duration - Channel Electric damage through your body, temporarily Gain the spells Lightning Bolt, Lightning Strike, and Thunder Clap. Your weapon deals additional electric damage.

Lightning Bolt - shoot electricity from your palm

Lighting Strike - call lighting down on your target

Thunder Clap - strike the ground, causing Lightning Stikes on all enemies within melee range.

Thunder Beam - No cooldown - Continuous duration - Deal electric damage in a straight line to the first target in the beam's path.

Defibrillate - Passive - Electric damage dealt to enemies has a chance to revive allies during combat.

Circular Saw - Medium cooldown - Short duration - Command your weapons to spin at your side, protecting you from attacks and spells. Command them to attack your target with springing movement, or hold in place. Your weapons deal additional bleeding damage.

tier 2: you can cast Circular Saw once for each weapon equipped.

tier 3: Optionally cast Circular saw in orbit mode.

Wall of Swords - Long Cooldown - Short duration - Summon an immovable barrier that deals damage to enemies that enter the area.

tier 2: Wall of Swords has more blades, increasing density and damage potential.

tier 3: Wall of Swords optionally Mimics equipped weapons.

It takes a few minutes for me to link everything, I have to figure out how to link my spells from my spellbook and the upgrades from my talent tree. There's no way in hell I'm typing all of that out, that would be crazy.

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

"Thank you, Earl. This will be the first publicly available spell list for Weaponmasters." Bell tells me.

"Should get a few extra viewers huh?" I ask.

Bell gives me a look.

"Earl, this interview will likely be the most viewed video related to Crossroads Online ever. Period. I don't know if you fully comprehend how popular you are. The number one streamer considers you a rival. That alone puts you on almost everyone's radar." Bell maintains eye contact through his full speech. "The fact that nobody can seem to figure out who you are, how you unlocked your class, or what it does adds greatly to your mystique."

"Huh." is all I can say in response.

"That and you don't stream." He adds.

"Do you want me too? You are my boss." I ask.

"No." is all he says.

"No? Why not?" I wonder.

"This is your interview not mine." he says abrasively.

Alrighty then.

"Moving on. Cross referencing your abilities with other classes, yours seem to be almost completely unique. Any tank has a taunt ability, and some have a spell comparable to Distribute. Intervention usually puts the tank in the way of a blow, or their shield if they have one. Tornado Edge is a common ability among strength classes, though they lack the ability to move it after casting, or cast it multiple times." he starts giving me some pretty deep analisis, having only seen my spells moments ago.

"You doin' all that in your head?" I ask, curious.

"No, I have a team working on it as we speak. I'm just relaying what they're saying to you." he tells me.

"A whole team, huh?" I acknowledge.

"Yes. right now, A.M.'s full focus is on you." he points at me.

"I'm flattered." I say.

"You shouldn't be. If I'm being frank, we're lucky to have scooped you up. I'm honestly perplexed why no one else even tried." he admits.

"Well Frank, now you're stuck with me." I smile.

He does not laugh at my joke.

"Illusory Clone is an illusionist ability, extremely few strength based classes have access to anything like it. it's primarily an intellect spell. Sword Dance is a run-of-the-mill aura buff. nothing to write home about." he moves the conversation forward.

"Don't be mean to my spells. You'll hurt their feelings." I tell him.

Not even a smirk. damn.

"Split Sword and Wall of Swords are unique to you. Circular Saw is a variant of existing abilities, but none work quite the same. Exchange is another intellect spell. Thunder God was unique to Electricity-focused, or Elementalist classes." he wraps up.

"Like what?" I ask.

"The Frankenstein class, the Mad Scientist, the Elemental Necromancer, or your basic Elementalist. To name a few." He counts them on his fingers.

"Frankenstein class? That sounds cool." I tell him.

"It's a strength based class with electrical, undead, and melee focussed subclasses." he says. "We have the Paragon signed, maybe we can introduce the two of you when he's not busy."

"I'd love to." I say.

"In your own words, who is Peter?" he asks abruptly.

"Hmm." I stroke my chin. "Peter is a smart, thoughtful kid who took the time to show a newbie like me the ropes. He's an expert at this game, without a doubt. If he wasn't in school, I'm certain he'd be a Paragon of something."

"He's been trying for years." Bell informs me.

"Really?" I ask

"Yes, and he got extremely close. But…" Bell checks something on his end. "Between you and me, he should be the Wizard Paragon. he more than qualifies."

"What? Why isn't he then?" I knew he could do it! especially if a ding-dong like me did it.

"There's a marketability aspect to the Paragon rankings. It isn't publicly disclosed, but if the people who run the game think that you or your character won't sell well, they put a finger on the scale, tipping it towards a more financially sensible candidate." He says.

"Why?" I realize the answer before Bell can say it. "No… really?"

"Peter's Wizard is as flamboyant as they come. It may be much more tolerated in 2035, but there is still a large chunk of the gamer market that will turn their noses up." Bell tells me.

"That's pathetic." I cross my arms. "Are you honestly telling me there's no gay Paragons?"

"No, there are. Mostly lesbians." Bell shrugs.

"Oh sure. Naturally." I roll my eyes.

"Let's move on, shall we?" Bell asks. "Here's some questions we're seeing from the community. What kind of games do you normally play?"

"Hmm." I have to think about it. My memories are still fuzzy, but it's much easier to recall them when prompted. "I like Action RPGs. I was a big fan of Mass Effect in high school, and I played way too much Fallout and Skyrim."

"Hmm." Bell says. "Let's rephrase that a bit. Unless you played way after release, that would put you at about 40 years old. It's a pretty innocent comment, but if you want to keep your identity a secret, we can't give them anything to work with. Let's say… you enjoy the classics."

"Classics? way to make me feel old." I chuckle. "You want me to try that again?"

Bell nods.

"I like classic action role playing games, like Mass Effect, Fallout, and Skyrim. Newer games just don't have the same charm." I rephrase.

"We'll cut out that last part. we're not going for a heel interview." Bell says.

"Heel?" I ask.

"It's a wrestling term. You're either a face, or a good guy, or a heel, a bad guy." Bell informs me.

"You into wrestling?" I inquire.

"Again, your interview." He tells me.

"Right." I say. Can't get to know my boss?

"Would you say your play-style in Crossroads Online is your typical play-style?" Bell moves on to the next question.

"Hmm. Yes and no. Yes, I'm a melee kind of guy. There's not any examples of anything quite like Weaponmaster in any games I've played." I tell him.

"The 'final form' in Kingdom Hearts 2 is similar. Especially to your Circular Saw ability." Bell mentions.

"I think somebody else said that too. Can't recall who though." I stroke my chin.

Bell just nods.

"What is your rig? Do you have a 1.0, or a 2.0?" Bell asks.

"I don't know." I admit.

"You don't know?" his eyebrows furrow.

"The lie I came up with is that my buddies set it up for me and I didn't pay any attention. Truth is, I've never seen it." I tell him.

Something changes. I feel like we're alone now, his staff is no longer tuning in. A change in his body language, the way the barrier shimmers.

"Explain." he only says one word.

"I've never seen it. I have no idea what it looks like. like i said." I repeat.

"You're in it, Earl. The 2.0 model has automatic disposal and feeding, but you still need to step out regularly so your muscles don't atrophy, and to clean up. Unless you're in a newer generation model than the public has?" He says with concern in his voice.

"I've never so much as logged out of the game." I admit.

"Hmm." Bell intones. "We're going to spin this as beta testing the 3.0, the mythical rig that you never have to leave. In practice it's impossible, but people dream up solutions to unsolvable problems."

"Don't want to spin it as I'm a really dedicated player?" I ask, half-joking.

"No Earl. This goes far beyond dedication. It's unhealthy. Unsustainable. If you're in a rig 24/7 and it's not giving you a full-body workout, while regularly resting your eyes, ears, mouth, and washing you… it's killing you. The human body cannot be sustained on intravenous nutrients and left motionless. Bed sores, infections, everything a coma patient would die from." he explains.

I don't know what to tell him. I'm already dead, right? The Monitor said I'm a hard drive. I could be sitting in a state-of-the-art rig, all of my bodily functions taken care of for me. Or I could be plugged into a wall somewhere without a body to speak of. The machine is clearly nuts, so I don't know how much of what it says I can trust. Maybe it was trying to use a metaphor that went over my head?

"We'll workshop it." Bell clears his throat. "Last question. Do you have any theories about the next expansion?"

"I am not familiar with the ones we have now. Peter mentions them occasionally, but I've only experienced the level 60 and below stuff." I tell him, and our audience. The 'show' is back on.

"The current expansion is 'No Gods', released two years ago. Starting from the beginning, you have the base game, the community refers to it as 'Chocolate', then the first expansion 'Revolution', the second 'Dragon's Reign', then 'No Gods'." Bell explains.

"Chocolate?" I ask, totally stuck on that and only half-listening to the rest.

"Yes, because vanilla is too basic. At least that's what the community says." he shrugs.

"So where does that leave us, regarding the next expansion?" I ask.

"That's why I asked if you have any theories. For the first time, the community doesn't know a single thing about the upcoming expansion, except for the name. There have been no press releases, or files that could be data-mined." he explains.

"What's the name?" I wonder

"Hell is Empty, and All the Devils are Here." he tells me.

"A little long for a title." I remark.

"The community has collectively decided to call it 'Hell' for short. So, any thoughts?" he asks again.

What is there to think about? The name, and what it implies?

"Well… by the time we reach the next expansion, we've killed a lot of stuff, right?" I ponder.

"Right." Bell responds.

"Maybe the next one is like… everything comes back? Hell is empty because they're back from the dead?" I offer my thoughts.

"Not an uncommon theory. Some players think that the developers are getting a little heavy-handed with the religious imagery, especially after just finishing a whole expansion beating 'god is dead' into player's heads." Bell nods.

"I could see that. There hasn't been any mention of religion from the quests I've done so far." I notice.

"That's because you're playing an orc. The Civilization has a strict no-religion policy. Orc history is very anti-god." Bell tells me.

"Huh. I hadn't heard anything about it." I make a thoughtful face.

"That's all for now, Earl. Thanks for sitting down with me." Bell wraps up the interview.

"Thanks for having me." I smile.

Bell walks around retrieving the pillars, deactivating the privacy screen. I watch him, having nothing else to do. My eye is drawn away when a light flashes behind him in the tree line. A single, distant red light.

"I'll be in touch Earl." Bell says, disbanding the party and vanishing.