Chapter 43: A Trainwreck Of A Duel (18)
As Nozomi stepped inside her home and closed the door behind her, she called out, "I'm home!"
The kitchen greeted her with a familiar sight—her brother, Minokichi, deeply immersed in his dinner, his eyes fixed on his phone. But something seemed different today. 'Is it just me, or is there more food on his plate than usual?' she pondered.
Nozomi dismissed the thought, attributing it to her brother's growth spurt and his increased appetite, likely prompting him to ask their mother for more food. Since their mom was often not at home during dinner or had already gone to bed, they usually communicated through notes to request anything.
Nozomi longed for personal conversations with her mother. Yet, she understood why it wasn't possible and found solace in how this distance helped her conceal the turmoil in her life. She shook off those thoughts and fetched a tupperware of frozen food from the fridge. Placing it in the microwave, her mind wandered back to the train incident with Henry.
Despite her promise to Yoshino not to blame herself, Nozomi couldn't shake off the guilt. As much as she didn't want to say it, Yoshino seemed not to grasp the depth of her anguish. After all, it was Nozomi who had accidentally shot herself in the shoulder with her magical attack. The excruciating pain still haunted her. Remembering Henry's suffering—his arm and leg severed—stirred her guilt even more, given her magic's devastating impact on his darkspawn nature.
"How was your day?" Minokichi's voice pulled her back to reality.
Nozomi blinked, momentarily stunned before turning to face her brother. "W-what?" she stammered.
Minokichi sighed, repeating his question with evident reluctance. "Your day, how was it?"
Her brother's unexpected inquiry caught Nozomi off guard. Usually, it was she who initiated conversations when Minokichi seemed approachable. She could count on one hand the times he had started a conversation. Especially by asking about her day. W-what should I say? Definitely not about Henry... Maybe the movie?
"Forget it," Minokichi muttered, shifting his focus back to his meal.
"I-It was great!" Nozomi blurted out, almost too loudly. Minokichi's cold expression softened ever so slightly with surprise.
"I mean, the day was great! Yoshino and I went to see a movie together!" she clarified, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
"What was the name of the movie?" Minokichi asked, his tone unexpectedly calm.
Nozomi's eyes widened. Two questions in one day—an unprecedented record for her brother. Am I dying? Is he dying? What am I even thinking?! Answer the question!
"Eldritch Cowboys," she said. "It was pretty cool. You should have been there!"
Realizing her mistake immediately, she mentally face-palmed. Why did I say that?!
"I see..." Minokichi nodded slowly, making Nozomi cringe internally.
"H-how was yours? Your day, I mean?" Nozomi asked, attempting to salvage the conversation.
Minokichi blinked. "It was normal. I... guess I made a new friend." He seemed unsure if he was addressing her or himself.
Nozomi was about to comment but stopped, the weight of his words sinking in. "WHAT?!" she shouted, her mind struggling to process the information. Did he make a friend? This is a miracle! Thank you, Minokichi's friend!
"W-wait, what's her name? How long have you known them?" Nozomi's curiosity was piqued.
"Yuki. I've known her since classes started," Minokichi replied, oblivious to the significance of his revelation in his sister's eyes.
Wow, they became friends in a matter of days? Amazing! Her joy was halted by a sudden realization. "Her?" she asked, tilting her head.
"Yeah, her... What about it?" Minokichi frowned slightly in confusion.
Nozomi smiled, happiness for her brother brimming over. "Nothing, nothing at all~ Hey, how about inviting her over sometime? I'd love to meet her!"
Minokichi shrugged. "Sure, maybe someday."
That was good enough for Nozomi. She could hardly wait to meet the girl who had managed to pierce her brother's social shell.
PING. The microwave beeped, signaling the end of its cycle.
As Nozomi turned her attention to her now hot meal and sat down at the table, she noticed Minokichi had eaten a considerable portion of food in a short time. She stifled her curiosity, deciding not to push her luck.
Brother and sister finished their meals in silence.
After dinner, Nozomi retreated to her room. The familiar sight provided immediate comfort. Her eyes fell on Seiza, sitting on her bed and gazing out the window at the stars.
"Hey Seiza, what are you looking at?" she asked, moving closer.
Seiza tensed, blinking before turning to her. "O-oh, Nozomi. Sorry, I was just... thinking." He turned to look back out the window.
Nozomi sat beside him. "Thinking about what?"
Seiza hesitated for a moment before opening up. "I've always thought of darkspawns as purely evil until today. Meeting Henry changed that. By all accounts, he should be an evil needing elimination for others' safety. Yet, after meeting him, I... I'm not sure what to think anymore." Seiza lowered his head, reflecting his inner turmoil.
Nozomi nodded, understanding, having witnessed firsthand the malevolence of darkspawns. "So, why did you choose to help Henry then?"
"I don't know... He looked so pitiful, and it made you and Yoshino sad. My body just... moved on its own," Seiza admitted, frustrated by his confusion.
"Do you regret it?" Nozomi probed gently.
"Healing him? I'm not sure. But I don't regret trying to make you and Yoshino stop crying," Seiza clenched his teeth, feeling overwhelmed by his perceived failure.
Nozomi frowned, concerned. "Seiza, you're doing your best."
"My best isn't fast enough!" Seiza snapped.
Nozomi widened her eyes; Seiza quickly looked away, guilt-ridden. "Sorry."
Nozomi rubbed Seiza's back gently. "You just started trying to remove it. Why the rush? Is it the promise you made to me?"
Seiza sighed. "It's not just the promise. When you told us about the slow-down effect, I felt like I made a massive mistake you paid for. I swore to myself I'd fix it before another darkspawn encounter. You telling me it almost made you witness slow-motion and the effect it had on you truly cemented the urgency for me to promise out loud at the time. Dumb, I know, but... it's infuriating!"
After a few seconds, Seiza calmed himself down enough to continue. "When we first found ourselves inside Henry's barrier I was scared, scared you would suffer again just like you did before because I wasn't fast enough to fix the problem with your powers. Even right now that fear is affecting me..."
Seiza turned to Nozomi. "I...actually considered just brushing off the question you asked when you first came in and bottled up my frustrations as I've always been doing before and after meeting you and Yoshino. But then the thought of this possibly being the last chance I would have to talk about it with you and be too late again hit me and..." Seiza gritted his teeth and started to cry. "I couldn't take it. I just...wouldn't know how to live with it, especially after finding out that even the things I thought I knew about thanks to my previous self's memories are now unreliable information. And after seeing so many people die already without being able to do anything but watch, I..." Seiza could not continue as tears poured from his eyes, soon closing them.
"I see..." Nozomi didn't need to think much about what to do next. She gently lifted the talking dog before embracing it.
Seiza opened his eyes in surprise for a moment. He then accepted the gesture in silence and closed his eyes to continue to cry on the girl's clothes while Nozomi gently rubbed the dog's back to help him calm down. "Thank you, Seiza, for trusting me with something like this. Even if it was motivated by desperation, I know that it took a lot of strength to still go through with it."
Nozomi chuckled dryly. "If I had to be honest, I'm...also beyond scared that I may end up not having enough time to find out what I even want to do with my life. And I'm also confused about so many things around Yoshino's whole family situation. But...what I DO know is we managed to survive until now while barely knowing what we were doing. Now that we have the help of Outsider, Henry, and possibly Yoshino's other uncles to guide us to become stronger...I'm confident that we can do this!" Nozomi said as she tried her best not to cry too. It would be awkward if Seiza had to comfort her when just now she had been attempting to comfort him.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, both not saying a word to each other until...
"Y-you can let go now...I'm fine now."
Nozomi released him, noticing a few lingering tears and raspy breaths, but relief washed over her. She spotted her schoolbag and inspiration struck.
"Hey, Seiza?" Nozomi began as she picked up her English book.
"Hmm?" Seiza sniffled, looking at her.
"Would you still want me to teach you English today?" she asked.
Seiza nodded.
Smiling softly, Nozomi retrieved her English book. A small note fell from her schoolbag. Outsider's phone number—they had completely forgotten. She put the note back, prioritizing Seiza's lesson.
"Alright, let's see where we left off," Nozomi said, settling beside Seiza. As they delved into the lesson, Seiza's weak, almost unnoticeable smile assured Nozomi that they would, indeed, find their way through their challenges.