Overlooking Your Eyes

“Did you turn in your self-study application?”

“Yeah, did you?”

“I’m only doing it twice a week. I’ve got private tutoring on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays because of my mom. It’s with one of my brothers’ friends, and I really hate it.”

“Well, it’s better than getting it from your brothers.”

“Obviously! If I had to deal with them, I’d rather not go to college at all.”

Kim Hyun-jin shook his head in frustration, and Yeong-won chuckled. Hyun-jin’s mood always turned sharp when the topic of his brothers came up. Their over-the-top teasing was their way of showing affection for their youngest sibling, but Hyun-jin clearly didn’t appreciate it.

Yeong-won enjoyed hearing about the antics of Hyun-jin’s three brothers. Just listening to their stories brought a smile. He couldn’t help but think about how nice it would’ve been to have older siblings like that, people to joke with and rely on. At the very least, he wouldn’t have to bear his parents’ overwhelming focus all on his own.

“Don’t laugh! It’s not funny.”

“Why not? I like your brothers.”

“They’re fake nice to you, that’s why! They only act all polite and charming in front of you. Ugh.”

Hyun-jin’s reaction made Yeong-won laugh even harder, the sound echoing as they walked toward the main entrance. Just as Hyun-jin continued venting about his brothers, Yeong-won’s laughter abruptly died.

“…….”

He spotted Seon-woo over Hyun-jin’s shoulder. Seon-woo was looking directly at him, with an intensity that was impossible to ignore.

As their gazes locked, the smile vanished from Yeong-won’s face.

“Let’s go inside,” Yeong-won said, his voice quieter.

“Huh? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, let’s just head back in.”

Hyun-jin didn’t press further, but Yeong-won could still feel Seon-woo’s eyes on his back as they retreated into the building. The weight of that gaze followed him, making him want to quicken his pace.

His mood, which had momentarily improved, sank again. It was clear now, he had to ask his teacher about changing seats. There was no way he could sit beside Seon-woo for an entire semester when just seeing him from afar made his heart sink.

“Aren’t you going to class?”

“No, I need to stop by the teachers’ office. Go ahead without me.”

“Alright, text me when you’re done.”

Yeong-won nodded, watching Hyun-jin walk off before making his way to the office. Spotting his homeroom teacher seated at a desk, he approached. When his teacher saw him, they smiled warmly and gestured for him to come closer.

“Yeong-won, what brings you here?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, take a seat.”

“Do you want to change seats?”

“Yeah, I do.”

The teacher didn’t seem surprised. It was as if they had been expecting it. They didn’t even ask why Yeong-won wanted to change seats, which struck him as odd.

“Did you have a fight with Seon-woo?”

“What?”

Yeong-won was taken aback. Why was Seon-woo’s name coming up now? He hadn’t said anything, and the teacher must have seen something earlier, but he hadn’t noticed.

“Seon-woo came by earlier and said that he thinks you misunderstood what he said and that he wants to apologize and make up.”

“…Seon-woo?”

“Yeah. Yeong-won, I think you should talk things over with Seon-woo. He’s a good kid, just like you. I could feel that he genuinely wants to apologize. I think if you talk it through, you’ll clear up any misunderstandings.”

Misunderstanding? After calling him disgusting and saying things like

‘Why do you accept everything he gives you?’

How could that possibly be a misunderstanding? What a load of nonsense, and yet, Seon-woo had already blocked all possible avenues of discussion by making such a statement. Yeong-won was at a loss for words, staring at the teacher. He knew that there was no point in trying to explain further.

Even if he said that Seon-woo had made those remarks, the teacher probably wouldn’t believe him. Or if they did, they would just tell him to try talking it over again. Like Hyun-jin said, all the teachers liked Seon-woo and didn’t want to upset him for various reasons, wanting to stay in his good graces. The teacher was no different.

“Yeong-won, try talking to Seon-woo again, okay?”

“…Yeah, I’ll do that.”

After leaving the teacher’s office, Yeong-won walked toward the classroom. This time, as he reached the hallway outside, he saw Seon-woo surrounded by a group of about five or six people. Seon-woo was wearing his signature smile, the kind that made anyone stop what they were doing and stare. His face was so handsome that it was impossible to ignore.

“…….”

“…….”

Yeong-won’s gaze met Seon-woo’s. It was only natural, since he had looked first. He had things he wanted to say, but he chose not to. Instead, he quickly averted his eyes and entered the classroom, heading straight for the empty seat in the back, the seat that was next to Seon-woo’s.

One semester. It was still early March, and there were about four months until summer break. There was no benefit to starting conflict with a popular kid like Seon-woo, who was well-liked by everyone. It could undo all the hard work Yeong-won had put in so far. He remembered Hyun-jin’s words:

“Even if Seon-woo is like that, it’s better for him to help you. If you make an enemy of someone like that, you won’t be able to stay in school.”

Yeong-won didn’t want to either stand out or become an enemy. He just wanted to make it through his senior year as normally as possible, as just another classmate. He wasn’t sure if that would even be possible now.

He shook his head, resigned to the fact that there was no way to act like nothing had happened, especially with the words Seon-woo had said still echoing in his mind. With a sigh, he sat down at his desk. Not long after, he could feel Seon-woo sitting next to him, but neither of them made a move to acknowledge the other. Yeong-won forced his attention away from the subtle pull of his nerves toward Seon-woo, sighing quietly. This semester was still so chaotic.

***

The students began submitting their self-study application forms one by one. Yeongwon organized them by number and went around to collect forms from those who hadn’t submitted theirs, or noted down the numbers of those who hadn’t brought them. Three students hadn’t submitted theirs, and the last one remaining was Yoo Seon Woo. It would have been nice if he had just left it on his desk for Yeongwon, but unfortunately, it didn’t seem like he had that intention.

Since Wednesday morning through to Friday morning, Yeongwon hadn’t exchanged a single word with Yoo Seon Woo since he said he didn’t want to talk to him. Yoo Seon Woo was still kind to everyone else, and whenever someone approached him to talk, he would listen attentively and respond so that no one would feel awkward.

At the cafeteria, Yoo Seon Woo was always surrounded by a group of people, and the same went for the front of the store and the hallway; there were always a lot of people around him. Even though they hadn’t talked, it was oddly common for Yeongwon to run into Yoo Seon Woo here and there. Whenever their eyes met, Yeongwon would avoid looking directly at him, but he was almost relieved that he didn’t need to engage.

By Thursday, Yeongwon had fully recovered his usual condition. He arrived early in the mornings, finished his assigned work, and even went beyond the day’s plans. He managed everything calmly and even during the evening self-study, he completed his tasks leisurely. Going home still wasn’t enjoyable, but he felt relieved to have returned to the image he had in mind for his senior year of high school.

The biggest reason for Yeongwon’s recovery was Yoo Seon Woo’s indifference. Yoo Seon Woo avoided looking at him, didn’t ask him to go to the store, didn’t attempt to talk during self-study, and went home on his own. Thanks to that, Yeongwon was able to stick to his routine. If this continued, it seemed like the semester would go smoothly.

“…Give me the self-study application.”

Yeongwon didn’t want to speak first, but there was no choice. He turned slightly towards Yoo Seon Woo, who was studying, and spoke quietly.

“Didn’t you bring it?”

When Yeongwon asked again, Yoo Seon Woo reached into his drawer and handed him the application. The form was filled out with ‘not attending’ written on it. The reason given was private tutoring. Yeongwon felt relieved; as long as they didn’t run into each other during self-study, and this kind of interaction was limited to situations like this, there would be no conflict.

Sometimes, when their eyes met, it felt a little bothersome, but that too would become familiar with time. Yeongwon arranged the application neatly, aligning it with the others. He sighed as he looked at the stack of applications. He wished that any relationship could be as easily resolved as organizing these forms.

***

“On Monday, we’ll have the class president election. If you want to run, don’t miss your chance and think about what you want to say, and also think about who you want to recommend. Remember, when an opportunity comes, you have to grab it. Don’t just watch and let it slip away. This week, since there’s no mandatory self-study on Saturday, I hope you’ll study over the weekend and think about it as well.”

After hearing the teacher’s words, Yeongwon stood up and greeted him. Once the teacher greeted everyone and left the classroom, it became noisy. Yeongwon, who had been watching Yoo Seon Woo leave the classroom, returned to his seat and finished the problems he had been working on.

Today, after finishing dinner and having ice cream with Kim Hyun Jin, Yeongwon studied hard through the fourth period. During the last two periods, Kim Hyun Jin came to class, sat in Yoo Seon Woo’s seat, and studied alongside Yeongwon.

After leaving school in the dark, they parted ways at an intersection where their paths diverged. Yeongwon walked a few more steps when he suddenly noticed his pocket felt empty.

“Ah…”

His phone wasn’t in his pocket. He remembered borrowing a power bank from Kim Hyun Jin earlier because his phone had died, and he had left it charging in his drawer. He had forgotten it there.

It wasn’t urgent, as he could go to school the next morning, but it still felt uncomfortable. After a brief hesitation, he turned around and headed back to school.