Opus Veda

Hidden by night she watched the nightclub that, against her will, had made a mother of her. It had been her third conception. Fear aborted the first two. Fear of social shame saved the next. That she was underage earned enough support to claim against the venue, and the police opened an investigation. The owners denied liability; the officers left satisfied by other means; the case went no further. She received a consolatory message from the sergeant, reminding her it was a perfectly normal experience for someone of her background.

Kasia didn't know why she was here, but her daughter's upcoming birthday gnawed at her and all else was the same. The girl was almost 13, the age of drugs and nude requests, of sneaking into clubs and cutting parents off. The age Kasia last suffered her own mother, and the first time she stumbled out of this very nightclub, carrying a secret she had to pay to dispose of.

Her daughter was developing into womanhood earlier than Kasia was comfortable with. On the rare occasion they went out in public the looks were becoming regular, and obvious. She asked herself if she was just spotting it more, but the attention Eva got online said otherwise. Kasia tried to accept her daughter may need the clinic soon as she had, but it felt less forgivable.

Eva was Kasia's third mistake. The first slip up was a given, a cause for bragging amongst friends. That the third broke the average pressured her enough to see it through. And so at 16 she abandoned her prospects, quitting school with no qualifications, one daughter, and a medical bill to work off. She named the baby after her grandma Ewa, with a 'v' to spare the child the frustration of a mispronounced name.

Kasia had always been impressed by Ewa. Being first generation her grandma could emigrate to Poland, did so, and severed contact forevermore. Kasia's mother opted instead to drink and blame others, including Kasia. Once free of her abusive parent, Kasia herself took on the nebulous visa rules when hard months struck, but rejection was signed long before she applied. She projected her hopes onto Eva, wishing her better fortune and raising her accordingly.

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An orifice opened within the nightclub's exterior. Through the slits of boarded windows a woman cackled. Kasia snapped out of her thoughts.

It was midnight. The masses had dribbled from workplace to venue and the streets were empty. She leant against a wall and pretended to browse her phone - her umbilical cord to humanity - in case anyone saw her. From over her phone's lidless eye she watched her target, a lone club wedged amongst the rear-ends of venues facing worthier streets.

This particular nightclub, 'Eros & Rachel', was notoriously sketchy. It hid behind covered windows and a flaking front door, all implying the need enter through the back. The sign still bore the previous name 'Stiff Competition', which the owners had changed since a clip of the building, edited with forked lightning overhead, became a viral meme.

That meme had fed its way into Kasia's feed, inducing whatever emotions dragged her here. Her eyes wandered down the side alley. After all these years it remained a mess of litter and shingle patches. A murky broth lay over a blocked, slug-infested drain. A vent billowed steam into a forest of weeds.

One of the weeds rustled. A rat scurried to the drain, took a slug in its fangs, and darted into a crevice in the wall. The cackling woman closed the window.

Kasia felt sick and angry. Anger at the negligent managers, unresolved and simmering, even if the blame was meant to lie with her, the individual. And every pain Eva faced made Kasia question if her great failing as a mother was going ahead with it. She wondered if standing here she might remember the father. Perhaps this was his regular club? Any moment now he would march down the alleyway, through the steaming vent, and into her life. Would he help? It was he who removed his protection during their match; he who blocked the indifferent police mid-investigation.

Something charged around the corner; leapt out and accelerated. Kasia forced herself against the wall as a van sped past. It blared its horn for no reason but to bother her. She stepped into the road to chase them, but the idea of them pulling over stopped her. Instead she contained her feelings, taking a final glance at the club for any sign of fate. When none came, she pulled her hood up and covered her eyes, hiding from the world a little further, and headed home with thoughts of Eva's birthday. If it was to be their last together, it had to matter.