Only After I Was Reborn Did I Realize That I Had Childhood Sweethearts

(TL: back to school TToTT)

Although the "5/20 Confession Failure Operation" ended in miserable defeat, Mei Fang didn't choose to wallow in despair.

After all,companionship is the longest form of love.

Even if she was worried about "holding him back," given enough time together, it wasn't like there wasnochance they could end up together…

That's what he told himself—

But still, the current situation wasn't exactlypropereither…

Another night of being clung to by Lin Youxi in her sleep left Mei Fang feeling like a human-shaped body pillow.

Youxi actually stayed up very late every night. She and Mei Fang would always work on their beloved game project together. With the core gameplay mechanics mostly finalized, Mei Fang spent his days churning out storylines and scriptwriting.

White Plum Timewas planned as a coming-of-age story spanning from kindergarten to high school graduation, following the protagonists as they left Bai Mei County—a decade-long tale of change in a small town.

"Doubling the heroines means exponentially more branching paths and dialogue variations. It'll take way more time—you sure you're okay with extending the timeline?"

"I'm in no rush. It's not like I have anything better to do anyway. We can take it slow."

Youxi leaned against Mei Fang's shoulder."I've been thinking… The first heroine's design commemorates the best friend of my life. The second one… let's base her on me. I want to self-insert a little."

"The protagonist was originally gender-selectable to help players project themselves. Should we keep that option?"

"No. Lock it to male. It'll give you more creative freedom when writing."

"That'll drastically reduce the sandbox elements, though. We might lose some female players."

"Doesn't matter. Just make it as compelling as possible."

"Mm…"

Mei Fang glanced at Youxi, who was still pressed against his shoulder, then hesitated before asking,"You've already told me a lot about Xia Yuan's personality—sweet, angelic, always encouraging others… But did she have any flaws? It'd help make her feel more three-dimensional."

"Flaws…? Before she died, I couldn't think of any. If I had to pick… she wasn't great at STEM, and… she had trouble saying no to people."

"Trouble saying no—you mean she was too kind? Always helping others?"

"Yeah. That's why I always worried she'd get taken advantage of. She forgave everything too easily."

Youxi paused, then added softly,"But she was also fiercely righteous. When I was bullied and mocked as a kid, she was the only one who stood up for me… who protected me… who became my friend…"

Listening to Youxi reminisce about her childhood friend, Mei Fang felt a strange, guilty pang—something almost likejealousy. The complexity of the emotion left him momentarily speechless.

Noticing his silence, Youxi tilted her head up to study him.

"What's on your mind?"

"If Xia Yuan had lived… if she'd stayed by your side all this time… you'd have been a very happy girl."

"You think so?"

"But if that were the case… would we still have met?"

Youxi tightened her grip on his arm."No—wait, we might've met anyway. But then Yuan would've ended up with you, leaving me all alone again."

"That's ridiculous… Even if you say Xia Yuan had a crush on me in kindergarten, that's just childhood infatuation. I don't even remember her. Why would we have gotten together?"

"Just… a gut feeling. You two would've been perfect."

Suddenly, Youxi pushed herself up, kicked off her slippers, and straddled Mei Fang's lap, cupping his face in her hands.

"……"

"What?"

"I want to eat you."

"Didn't you just… before dinner…?"

"I'm greedy. I want a midnight snack."

"…Okay."

Mei Fang nodded slightly before pulling her into a deep kiss.

……

I've become a terrible person.

Not even dating, yet acting like lovers…

Their intimacy lasted a long while. When Mei Fang finally pulled away, Youxi kept pecking at his lips, reluctant to stop. Eventually, she licked her own lips with a pout.

"Still hungry."

"How are you not sick of this yet…?"

"Areyousick of me?"

Her expression dimmed, eyes glistening with such pitiable sadness it could break hearts."I can leave you alone if you want."

"Of course I'm not sick of you! I just mean—someone as amazing as you deserves better than me."

"Oh? So the guy who confessed to me days ago was just a toad lusting after swan meat, huh?"

"N-no! I just—ugh—"

Youxi nipped at his nose."I knowI'mthe toad, really."

"Don't say that."Mei Fang's voice softened."You're wonderful."

"Heh… Hope you're this sweet next time I ghost you during a depressive episode."

"Hah…"

He hugged her gently."Tomorrow's Children's Day, and we've got the day off. Want to go to Happy Valley? My treat."

Youxi shook her head."Too crowded. I'd rather stay in and game… Oh, but let's buy groceries. I wanna cook together to celebrate."

"Celebrate what?"

"Children's Day? Can't we celebrate it?"

"Of course we can. I'll celebrate anything with you."

"Any dishes you've been craving? I'll prep the ingredients."

"Cola chicken wings."

Youxi smiled faintly."Yuan's mom made them for me once."

"Xia Yuan's mom… Wasn't she the computer lab teacher? Didn't know she cooked too. Must've been amazing."

"Actually, her cooking was awful. But the cola wings were good. That's why I remember."

"O-oh…"

Mei Fang scratched his head."It's late. Let's turn in early and celebrate properly tomorrow?"

Youxi nodded, then grinned."A-Fang, I'm sleeping with you again tonight."

"Fine. But no wandering hands. I've warned you.Repeatedly."

"You're so stubborn."

She huffed."It's not like you don't like it. Why refuse to take things further?"

"Not until you accept my confession."

"I don't do relationships. You know that."

Youxi rocked atop him like a ride, nibbling his ear."But… I'dloveto get physical with you."

"Absolutely not. That'd make usthosekind of friends. I want to do right by you."

His ears burned, but he held firm."I won't settle for an unhealthy fling."

"I don'tneedyou to 'do right' by me. Ugh… Fine. Suffer then—"

Patting his cheek, she climbed off, amused by his relieved sigh."I'm showering."

"Mm."

And so, Mei Fang preserved his "purity" for another night of cuddles.

———

The next morning, he carefully extricated himself from Youxi's embrace, replacing himself with a pillow before heading to the kitchen to prep.

"This should cover everything…"

While shopping at the local market, his phone rang.

"Mom? What's up?"

"Can't I check in on my son?"

Xiaoxia's voice chirped through the speaker."Haven't heard from you in ages. How's life?"

"Same as always."

"What about that girl from Valentine's Day? What's her name? Where's she from? Got pics?"

"Ugh… You'restillon that?"

"Just asking if it's serious! It's been three months with no updates. Is she stringing you along?"

"N-no! Nothing like that…"

"I'm your mother. Iknowyou. You're too soft—bosses exploit you, women manipulate you. Be careful."

"I know."

"If it doesn't work out, come home. There's a nice doctor here—a bit plump, but sweet. I'll send photos."

"N-no thanks… I'm not doing long-distance."

"Thenwhenare you coming back? You're killing yourself in Pengcheng for what? 10K a month? Half goes to rent! Ihateseeing you struggle."

"I'm fine. I love my work here. Really. Just focus on your health. The debts are paid. No more stress, right?"

"No stress? Your father and I worry sick about your future! Find a good girl—poor is fine, butkind.Remember your cousin?"

"How… is she lately?"

"Just out of psych care. Fewer episodes, less delusional talk. Your uncle and aunt just want her stable. Such a bright girl, ruined by some scumbag—"

"Yeah."

Mei Fang murmured a few empty comforts before hanging up.

Every family had its struggles. His was no exception—just a tangled mess he couldn't fix.

All he could do was listen to the depressing updates and offer hollow encouragement.

Distracted, he didn't notice Youxi's23 missed callsuntil checkout.

"Shit. I'm dead."

He immediately called back, but no answer.

At least she hasn't blocked me on WeChat yet…?

Rushing home, he found Youxi curled up by the door, face buried in her knees.

"I'm sorry! I was on the phone with my mom and didn't hear yours! I just went shopping—barely half an hour—"

He knelt beside her, gently touching her shoulder. When she looked up, her eyes were swollen from crying.

"How… dare you come back… I called… so many times…"

The sight shattered him. He pulled her into a tight hug."I'm sorry, I'm sorry… This is all my fault…"

Youxi buried her face in his shoulder—thenbit down hard. Mei Fang gritted his teeth through the pain, letting her vent as he stroked her back.

"Mmph…"

Finally, she loosened her jaw and slumped against him.

"Did… did it hurt?"

"No."

"Liar. Tell the truth or I'll kick you out."

"My shoulder hurts… but my heart hurts more."

He held her closer."I failed you. That's on me."

"I'm the one being unreasonable… Yet you blame yourself…"

She nuzzled his cheek with a weak smile."I didn't take my meds."

"I can't swallow them alone. Feed me?"

"Okay…"

Since mid-May, Youxi had been cycling through depressive episodes. Compared to the cool, tragic beauty he'd first met, she'd become more vulnerable—moregirlish.

But this was part of the process.

And Mei Fang didn't mind one bit.

After helping her take the pills, she calmed slightly.

"Rest a bit. I'll make breakfast."

"No… Too late. Let's have lunch. I promised to cook."

She clung to him, whining softly."Just hold me like this. It's Children's Day… Feels like Dad's warmth."

"Did you love your father?"

Youxi thought for a moment, then nodded."Very much."

"He was busy, but he raised me himself."

"I loved when he lifted me high in the air."

"Or when I rode on his motorcycle, hiding behind him from the wind."

"After Yuan died, I became so cold… But Dad understood. He shielded me from everything."

"I worked so hard to get into a top university… just to earn enough to give him a good life. But now…"

Her voice cracked. Mei Fang held her tighter as she wept.

"After Dad died… his colleagues helped me arrange the funeral. Once it was over… I really wondered if I should just…"

"But you survived. You're so strong."

He kissed her forehead."Youxi, you're the most incredible person I know."

"I'm not incredible."

"I'm trash."

"A worthless, unfilial, immature—"

Mei Fang let her rant, holding her through the self-loathing spiral. This was the norm with bipolar disorder—for her and those who loved her. His only job was to be her anchor.

Once the storm passed, he lifted her onto the couch, then knelt before her.

"What… are you doing?"

She rubbed her eyes, confused.

"It's Children's Day. Let's play house."

He grinned."I'll be Dad today. I'll carry you and lift you high, just like when you were little."

"Pfft—"

Youxi burst out laughing, rolling on the couch. Mei Fang chuckled too, then fake-pouted."Do you wanna celebrate or not? You said you wanted to be a kid."

"I do. Ido."

She swung her legs over his shoulders, gripping his head as he steadied her.

"Hup—! And up we go! Wheee—airplane time!"

"Hahaha! A-Fang, you're ridiculous!"

"No name-calling! What do you call me?"

"Fine…Dad."

She pinched his cheeks."Such a childish dad."

"Does my Youxi love Daddy?"

"So much."

"I love Daddy… more than anything…"

As he "flew" her around the living room, his toe smashed into the coffee table. He crumpled with a strangled yelp. Youxi panicked, frantically rubbing and blowing on his foot.

Once the agony faded, they collapsed on the couch, exhausted.

"That was fun,"Youxi giggled.

"Told you."

Mei Fang wiped his nose smugly."I'm great with kids."

"I'mnota kid."

"Just a 27-year-old hag."

"27 isn't old! At all!"

She straddled him again, smirking.

"Then what about… a 27-year-oldvirginhag? Isthatold?"

"Wha—why bring that up?! I'm one too, you know!"

"If you keep living with me, you'll hit 30 and become a wizard~"

"S-so what? I don't care."

He glared half-heartedly."Unless someone accepts my confession, I'm not budging."

"You're impossible."

Youxi sighed."Fine… Let's see how long that resolve lasts…"

She leaned down, kissing him deeply while her hands roameddangerously. Mei Fang barely managed to push her off, panting.

"Hah… See? My willpower'ssolid."

Youxi licked her lips, amused."We'll see."

Then she began tracing circles on his chest.

"Now what?"

"I need a favor."

"Name it."

"It's… my dad's death anniversary soon. I want to visit Bai Mei County. Pay respects at my parents' graves."

"So… would you come with me?"

"Of course."

He squeezed her hand."I'll be there."

Youxi hesitated."And… could you let your parents know?"

"M-my parents?"

"Mm. I sold my family's house, so…"

Tucking a stray lock behind her ear, she met his gaze with quiet hope.

"Could I… stay at your place for a few days?"