Only After I Was Reborn Did I Realize That I Had Childhood Sweethearts

"Bipolar disorder… you mean manic depression?"

Lin Youxi nodded slightly. "You know about it?"

"I minored in psychology in college, so I have some idea…" Mei Fang continued, "Patients alternate between manic and depressive states…"

As he spoke, Mei Fang connected this to Lin Youxi's misfortunes over the years. The resentment he'd harbored all day quickly dissipated into sympathy, leaving him somber.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know you were going through this."

"Why apologize? I never told you."

The pale-faced Lin Youxi smiled weakly. "Actually, I've been reflecting lately—maybe I pushed you too hard. You're already overworked, yet I kept pressuring you."

"Don't say that. Working on this game makes me feel alive, and—"

Noticing Lin Youxi blinking drowsily, swaying unsteadily, Mei Fang remembered her fever and urged gently, "Shouldn't you rest? You look exhausted."

Lin Youxi checked her phone. "I can't remember if I ordered food… Oh, I forgot to place the order."

"Skip takeout. I'll make something light and healthy."

Surprised, Lin Youxi remarked, "With your workload, I'm shocked you can cook."

"I make time on weekends. Takeout every day isn't healthy."

Mei Fang shooed her away. "Go lie down. I'll whip something up. What's in your fridge?"

"Probably nothing… Oh wait, there might be frozen dumplings. I'm pretty good at boiling those."

"Boiling dumplings isn't an achievement!"

Mei Fang herded Lin Youxi to bed, placed a glass of water on her nightstand, and instructed her to take fever reducers before inspecting the fridge.

The garlic has sprouted…

She looks so put-together, but her place is a mess.

Sigh.

Mei Fang exhaled silently.

The faint clatter from the kitchen inexplicably soothed Lin Youxi. Lying in bed, drowsiness soon overtook her.

She sank into a deep dream—a distant, hazy one.

She dreamed of being very small again, of a gentle girl with twin buns patiently wiping her nose. She dreamed of jealously shoving that boy—the bedwetting king—when he got too close to the girl with buns.

That single push sent both tumbling far, far away, beyond her reach. When she tried chasing after them, they only grew more distant—

Gasp!

Lin Youxi's eyes flew open, startling Mei Fang as he set down a bowl of congee. "Whoa! You wake up scary, huh?"

Before he could continue, a tear rolled down Lin Youxi's cheek, leaving him flustered. He hastily grabbed tissues.

"Nightmare…?"

Lin Youxi wiped her face and nodded. "I dreamed of Yuan Yuan."

"You really adore her…"

Mei Fang pulled up a stool beside the bed. "Here, sit up and eat. Made millet congee—easy on the stomach. Liquid foods are best when you have a fever."

Lin Youxi struggled weakly but couldn't rise.

"It hurts."

"Want… want me to help you up?"

"Mm."

This being his first physical contact with a woman, Mei Fang froze, unsure where to place his hands to avoid impropriety.

Amused by his flustered hesitation, Lin Youxi abruptly grabbed his arm to haul herself up, prompting Mei Fang to instinctively support her back.

"Here… eat."

Mei Fang offered a spoonful, but Lin Youxi made no move to take it, simply staring at him.

Though her expression remained neutral, her intense gaze made Mei Fang blush and avert his eyes.

"Hey… you don't expect me to feed you, do you?"

"I don't want to move."

Lin Youxi watched, clearly enjoying his flustered squirming.

"Th-That's not… proper…"

"Then I'll just sleep."

As Lin Youxi started to lie back, Mei Fang panicked:

"Wait, wait!"

Perched on the bedside, Mei Fang began feeding her, blowing on each spoonful before offering it. Lin Youxi leaned forward to accept each bite with an "ah," looking utterly unlike a sophisticated urban professional.

"Good?"

Lin Youxi shook her head. "Not as good as Five Grains Congee takeout."

"…Then why eat so eagerly?"

Lin Youxi said softly, "The last time someone fed me was probably in elementary school… my dad."

"That's so sad it almost makes me cry."

"I don't believe you. Cry for me."

Lin Youxi stared. "Or I'll punch you until you cry."

"No strength to hold a bowl, but enough to hit me?"

"Try me."

As Lin Youxi swung a fist playfully, Mei Fang dodged, accidentally spilling hot congee on himself.

"Ow! Hot!"

"Are—are you okay?!"

Lin Youxi hastily grabbed tissues, dabbing at the reddening spot on his arm. Her voice grew quiet.

"Everyone who gets close to me ends up miserable."

She whispered, "Never contacting me again after I blocked you… might have been for the best."

"That sounds like such an edgy character trope. Who knew our Baimei High valedictorian was this quirky? Wish we'd met back then."

Lin Youxi smiled. "So… you don't believe me?"

"I know you want to cite examples, but I think you're wrong. Those tragedies weren't your fault—they just happened around you. You shouldn't blame yourself or feel guilty. You deserve compassion."

Mei Fang said gently, "I refuse to believe otherwise."

"Working with a lunatic like me will be torture."

"I understand bipolar mechanics and symptoms. Don't use that to push me away."

Mei Fang was firm. "You reignited my dying passion for indie games—you can't just unilaterally extinguish it again. This isn't just your dream anymore, understand?"

Lin Youxi suddenly laughed. "Never seen you so assertive. Impressive."

"That sounds weirdly backhanded…"

Lin Youxi continued, "Then I'll wait until you can't take it and abandon me. My bipolar may be severe, but I've never had suicidal thoughts or violent tendencies. Your safety's guaranteed."

"Pretty sure I could take you in a fight anyway…"

They chatted by the bedside until past 10 PM, when Mei Fang's stomach growled loudly.

"Ugh… Came straight here and skipped dinner."

"I can boil you dumplings."

"Just rest. I should head home."

As Mei Fang stood, Lin Youxi asked, "Isn't your place far?"

"Uh… about an hour. Work tomorrow."

"Then why go back?"

Lin Youxi propped herself up. "The time you save could go toward game dev."

"Seriously…? You're sick—just rest today. I'm leaving. Get some sleep."

Lin Youxi shook her head. "Slept all day—not tired now."

"WellIneed sleep! I'm exhausted."

"I have an extra blanket. You can sleep on the floor. Two hours of commuting could be two more hours of sleep."

"…"

Despite Lin Youxi's persistent invitations, Mei Fang kept refusing until she finally asked pointedly:

"Do you look down on me for being mentally ill?"

"Of course not! I never said that!"

"Then why refuse to stay?"

"It's… not proper. People might talk…"

"You're single. I'm single. Who cares?"

Lin Youxi stared. "Unless… there's someone else?"

"There's no one! What nonsense—"

Mei Fang instantly regretted his answer when Lin Youxi smiled triumphantly.

Wait—"someone else"? Since when was there a "someone"?!

"Fine, fine… If you're not scared I'll eat you alive, I'll stay."

But Mei Fang warned:

"No game dev tonight. We rest. Deal?"

"Deal."

Late night.

Lin Youxi on the bed, Mei Fang on the floor—yet they still discussed game concepts until Lin Youxi's voice faded.

Mei Fang never imagined his first sleepover with a woman would be like this.

Lin Youxi's past was chaotic and tragic. Mei Fang was ordinary, unlikely to ever fully heal her wounds.

Yet hearing her story stirred an urge to cherish and protect her.

I've fallen for her…

Mei Fang realized.

Never before had he wanted to pour all his energy into someone.

But if his presence could bring even a sliver of warmth to Lin Youxi's world, he'd do so without hesitation.

Am I… a simp?

The thought unsettled him.

As he lay pondering, Lin Youxi suddenly murmured in her sleep:

"Ah Fang… don't go… stay…"

Ah—Fang?

Who's she calling…

Surely not me, haha.

Yet this vulnerable side of the usually formidable woman stirred something in Mei Fang beyond mere attraction—it deepened his understanding of her.

The next morning, they brushed teeth and washed faces together before commuting. Having sweated out her fever overnight, Lin Youxi looked much better, with no trace of mental illness. Chatting animatedly on the bus, they could pass for a loving couple.

"Only three stops—12 minutes to the office? Your place is so convenient. Jealous you can afford it."

"Tencent gives ¥8,000 housing stipend. Waste not."

"Ugh! Big tech perks are insane! Makes me want to jump ship."

"You could quit. I'll pay you—I work fast enough to fund my own projects."

As she spoke, Lin Youxi plucked a stray hair from Mei Fang's shoulder.

"So… want to consider it?"

"I can't quit… You're not made of money. We need funds for art outsourcing—that won't be cheap."

"But your commute is draining you." Lin Youxi mused. "Two hours wasted daily is absurd."

"Can't help it. Broke people problems. Office-area rents are too high…"

"If it's about saving money, why not sell me your time?"

Lin Youxi proposed. "Move in with me—save two hours daily. I'll charge cheap rent."

"Ch-Cheap? How cheap?" Mei Fang perked up. "I'm genuinely broke."

"Pay what you can. Or nothing."

Lin Youxi smiled. "But there's a catch, Mr. Designer—those two saved commute hours? They're mine now. Deal?"

Clearly unable to care for herself properly—even forgetting meds without reminders—Mei Fang wanted to help this tragic girl, whether as a hometown friend or something more.

But moving in… what does that make us?

She never defined our relationship.

Ah.

Shouldn't the guy bring that up first?

Poor Mei Fang—a loveless virgin!

But the moment passed…

"No objections? Then it's settled."

"Mm… I'll pack my things when I have time."

"Do it tonight. I'll help."

"My place is way out in the suburbs—hassle to get to."

"We'll just sleep over. Not like we haven't shared a room."

"We only slept in the same room—don't twist it!"

Lin Youxi eyed him. "What, you want my bed?"

Her stare made Mei Fang blush on the crowded bus.

"Your ears are red… So cute!"

Lin Youxi pinched his earlobes as he squirmed helplessly.

"That resigned look—just like that Ah Fang kid from videos."

"You mean that expressive elementary schooler? I'm so stiff—how are we alike?"

Lin Youxi just smiled. "The name fits. 'Ah Fang' feels nostalgic somehow…"

"My family never used nicknames."

As Mei Fang grumbled, he recalled Lin Youxi calling that name in her dream.

A past love with a similar name?

But she said she's never dated…

While Mei Fang puzzled over this, Lin Youxi suddenly gripped his shoulders, locking eyes.

Her dark, luminous gaze was mesmerizing—Mei Fang couldn't look away.

Parting her lips slightly, she practiced the new nickname she'd given him:

"Ah Fang?"

"Ah Fang."

"Ah Fang!"

"Ah Fang…"

"Stop chanting it already!"

Lin Youxi's bright laughter filled the bus as pink cherry blossom petals swirled outside the window.

A breeze scattered them skyward, dotting the cold cityscape with fleeting warmth.