One Piece: I'm Mihawk's Son

I don't know what I hate the most: Myself, how weak I was in the past... or my inability to change that past in the present.

When I heard Kuma's story, I felt my stomach revolving and my mind travelling back to those days I had long forgotten. I could remember it as if it was yesterday. False. I remember it… as if I was still there. 

...

"Ali Esquivel, you have to eat!" 

"I don't want to… I won't eat until you let me out, Mom!"

"I already told you that you can't leave this room, stop being stubborn and eat!" 

Ah... that room. It is amazing to think that I had forgotten it, considering I spent the first fifteen years of my life here... not leaving even once. I have been imprisoned many times in my life, this was my first cell. A luxury one, but a cell nonetheless. 

My relationship with my beautiful mother was never the best every year it got worse. I was raised in one massive room which I was never allowed to leave. 

'The world around us is too evil. There is a deadly disease and I don't want you to get infected, that's why you have to stay here, alright? once the world is clean again, we will leave. I'm sure your dad is going to do it, he promised me'. 

That was her excuse… that's the reason why I spent the first fifteen years of my life confined in one room waiting for a man who never came, who I never met... who disappointed my mother.

At least I had one sense of comfort: Her story was consistent. She wouldn't allow me out, but she'd always leave on several occasions, to get us food to eat and games to entertain ourselves, the rest of the time she'd be here with me.

She taught me to walk, speak, eat, keep clean, read, write. Saint Leia Esquivel was my mother's name and apparently, we were part of a very powerful family. One thing she always boasted about was the fact that our Family had one of the nine Knights of God, although I never knew the implications of that and never met that lady.

There were many things I didn't understand. Some things I questioned but at least I knew y mother loved me.

Aside from her, the only other person who would come into this room was my uncle. Saint Rosward Esquivel, her brother. Someone I wasn't very fond of and whom to this day, just thinking of him revolted my stomach until I wanted to puke. 

Every time he came, Mom would cry. Every time he came... he touched her in places I later knew were very important for a lady. Places a brother shouldn't touch his sister. She'd reject at first but eventually give away, having no choice.

I never knew why she'd cry, she never wanted to tell me. 

"Mom, would you tell me about my father?" 

I would always ask her for a bit more information but she wouldn't tell me. 

"He is a very brave man". 

"He is the most free man in the world". 

"He's someone honourable and charismatic". 

As the years went by… her answer changed. From a time she didn't even want to answer me, to… answers that expressed more and more of her feelings that she never wanted to reveal to me.

"He's a bastard". 

"He is a disgrace!" 

I never understood at that time why it changed. But every night she'd curse at him… for abandoning us. 

"Not here, Rosward". 

"We have to keep the blood pure, sister~ why aren't you pregnant yet?". 

"…"

"You wouldn't be taking things behind my back, do you?"

"…"

"You wouldn't want Saint Saturn to know about your little escapade!-"

"Please don't shout, you will wake her up... I'll go… just not here". 

With that, he took her in haste. That time… it just happened that I wasn't sleeping… I listened. I was so curious and unsettled that I remained awake all night. Mother would usually be awake by the time I woke up. Always clean and ready.

That time I saw her come back to the room with haggard clothes and dishevelled hair, tears in her eyes. I couldn't help myself. 

"Mom, what happened!?" 

!!!

"Ali… w-why aren't you sleeping?" 

"Did you fight with Uncle Rosward?"

"T-That's right… w-we argued... you don't need to worry, everything is okay sweetie". 

"Mom I'll protect you next time, alright? Please don't cry". 

My words only made her cry more. How innocent and stupid I was… every time I remember I feel so disgusted at myself. How much I hate myself for being so ignorant and weak. Before that I didn't care... but then I started praying that my father would come quickly to save my mother, I didn't want to see her cry again.

But that never happened.

For the next few years, my mother got pregnant twice… each time she'd spend the nine months in our room before leaving to give birth, then coming back. I had two little brothers… when I asked her who was the father she never answered me... but she knew I wasn't stupid.

I guess it was shame. Or maybe she felt dirty, but I'd have never judged her. 

Charlos and Shalria were their names but I never got to play with them, they never came to my room and Mom still didn't allow me out even after I was ten years old. My mother said that they had the 'disease' and didn't want me to get infected.

It was then that I snapped at her for the first time and we had our first argument. 

"Why can they play outside and I can't!?"

She slapped me… for the first time in my life, I felt pain. And it was so painful that I just didn't feel like going against her again. 

"Stop talking nonsense and go back to your bed, Ali!" 

My kind mother was slipping far away… and I thought it was my fault. 

One night I saw her crying worse than ever before, she didn't even try to hide it. 

"Mom? I'm sorry… I won't complain again". 

That didn't stop her. I saw a piece of paper lying at her feet, newspapers. 

"Incident of God Valley. The Fall of the Rocks Pirates. Erase the evildoer from history…"

She was hopeful we would be saved from this world filled with disease… but that hope was gone. He'd never come, he was finished. Rocks D. Xebec, is that my father?

The days after that were even more anxious with people knocking on our doors, my mother would usually attend them but it would always end in arguments. One day she returned, panting and holding something special.

"Ali, eat this…! quickly!"

 "What is this? It looks exotic" 

It was a devil fruit, the suna suna no mi. A very powerful devil fruit that surely cost her a lot to get, she got it for me.

"Just eat it".

I did so, and the taste was something I'd never forget.

*PUAG!* 

"It is horrible! This is the worst thing I have eaten!"

"Eat the rest of it, come on!"

After she saw me eat it, I saw her smile again after so long and I felt weird, my body started transforming into sand involuntarily and she explained to me what devil fruits were.

Even if it tasted like sh*t. As long as she smiled, I'd eat a hundred.