One Helluva Fox

Out in the reception area of the IMP work office Lonna and Sylvester are sitting on a couch, with Loona holding up a photo of a human family and Sylvester's smoking. Loona's laying on the couch, taping away at her phone while her legs lay ontop of Sylvester's lap.

Moxxie is over at the desk holding up a crossbow, aiming at the photo. Millie's standing next to Moxxie, leaning against the desk. Mooxie's shaking as he aims his crossbow.

"Moxxie, stop shaking." Millie says. "You're gonna shot our only hell hound and hell fox.

"Wow, I feel so loved here." Loona says sarcaticaly.

"Ehhh, like he could hit anything." Sylvester says. "He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn."

"Just take a deep breath." Mille takes a deep breath. "And let it out."

"But it's a family." Moxxie says as he aims his crossbow up in the air. "Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human faimly."

"I don't see why not." Sylvester says. "I could use the time." He lips his lips.

"If killing a human family is what the client wants." Millie says.

"Maybe like a shitty dad or a mob family." Moxxie says as he uses his bow to scratch his head. "That's understandable. But to eradicate an entire innocent, seemingly in this instance, upper middle class family bloodline."

Loona sits up and looks at the photo then shows it back to them. "Hey, you don't know they're innocent."

Loona continues. "This kid probably sets dogs on fire." She points to the girl. "Maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online." Then she points to the father. "And this guy this guy definitely watches."

"Definitely a reason to kill a whole human family." Sylvester gives a toothy grin.

MIllie smiles. "Exactly. Humans are full of secret nasties." She pushes Moxxie's crossbow down. "It's why so many of them end up here." She grabs Mooxie's face and squishes his cheeks. "But guilty and innocent aren't our business moxs, killing who we're paid to is. Our. Business. Choose a target." She kisses him on the cheek and lets go of Moxxie.

Moxxie aims his crossbow back at the photo. "I just think it's a bit excessive and we could be a bit more selective is all."

The door to Blitzo's office slams open.

"GUYS, I want you to meet-" Blitzo gets cut off by Moxxie anciently firing his crossbow.

The arrow ricochets around the room knocking over a PC monitor, going through the photo Loona's holding. Taking off Sylvester's hat, showing his red hair with golden roots. Then the arrow hits the leg of a nearby fish tank and Blitzo catches it before it hits Mayberry. "Our newest client."

Sylvester picks up his hat and sets it back on his head. The fishtank falls over and it breaks on the ground, sending water everywhere and a few eels on the ground. The eels electrocute the water and any electrical appliances touching the water go up in flames.

Sylvester and Loon's fur stands on end .

"Damn it Moxxie." Blitzo yells. "I just bought those eels.

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A little later.

Mayberry gets into a taxi as Blitzo, with Millie and Moxxie standing next to him, and he waves bye to her. Loona and Sylvester lean against the side of the bulding.

Firefighters walk out of the building.

"Bye and don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than 24 hours or your first kill is free." Blitzo informs and the taxi drives off.

"When did we start implementing that deal?" Moxxie asks.

"When you set fire to my office in front of a client you, fucking dick shit!" Blitzo pushes Moxxie away. "Now someone, please tell me that fancy book is still intact."

"You mean our only ticket to the other side?" Loona asks and Sylvester holds up the book.

"Yeah, we got it." Sylvester says with a smirk

"And that's why you two are my favorite, Loonly and Sylvy. YOu both get a treat." He holds up two dog treats.

"Ew stop."

"Ehhh." Sylvester takes one and throws it into his mouth, while Blitzo eats the other.

"You're so gross." Loona yells at Blitzo as she opens the book.

Millie uses some calk to draw a pentagram onto a nearby wall and a portal opens to the human woorld.

"Oh stop it." Blitzo playfully says. "I get enough of that from my therapist." Loona rolls her eyes and walks back into the office. "Now let's go lick some ass!"

"The expression is kick some ass, Blitz." Millie says as she walks into the portal.

"Mine's better." Blitzo says as he walks into the portal.

"No, not really." Sylvester fallows after Blitzo.

"Fuck." Moxxie grumbles and he jumps into the portal.

The group come out near a cabin on a lake.

The group sneaks up to the cabin and Blitzo looks into a window.

"That's got to be her." Blitzo says as he looks to a blonde woman. "Oh, this is too easy." He looks down at Moxxie. "Moxxie do you want this one?"

"Me?" Moxxie questions.

"Yeah, this one's simple enough for you to handle." Blitzo says and Moxxie looks through the window." It's just a happy mother, who just got out the hospital."

"He's taking too long." Sylvester says as he's suddenly holding a musket rifle and aims it at Martha. "Time to die bitch."

"Wait, are we actually killing a family." Moxxie asks.

"No, don't be a puss, we're just killing a mother." Blitzo says. "We're ruining a family."

"But, hold in, hold on, let's just think about it." Moxxie says as he pushes Sylvester's musket up, just as he pulls the trigger, firing the gun.

The bullet completely misses Martha.

"What was that, Ralphie?" Martha asks her husband.

Ralphie shakes his head. "I don't know, Martha. But whatever it is." He pulls out a shotgun from under the table. "They're gonna be tomorrow night's dinner!"

Martha sets down the dinner platter and pulls out a shotgun from under the table. Then she grabs a glass of Champaign drinks it, then smashes the glass onto the floor. "All right kids! Guns out!"

The two kicks pull out guns.

"Looks like we got some rabbits to catch, youngins." Ralphie says with a toothy smile.

"What the hell Moxxie!" Sylvester yells.

Moxxie lets out a strange sound as he falls to his knees, with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, they just seemed so wholesome and happy. I panicked."

"Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie?" Blitzo asks. "From the moment of birth you're already a parasite leeching off your mama's tits! Get the fuck over yourself you baby dick" Suddenly a hole's blown into the wall and pellets nick Sylvester and Blitzo in the arm. "A new hole, Scatter!"

The group runs in different directions as the family chases them

Sylvester runs deep into the forest as he holds is bleeding arm. Sylvester stops and looks around, then he hides behind a tree.

"Where are you!" Martha yells. "I'd like to make a nice scarf outta your fur!"

"Crazy bitch." Sylvester mutters to himself, then he pulls out his flintlock from his coat and he's suddenly holding a musket in the other hand. "I didn't want to use this." He points his musket up into the air and opens his mouth.

Suddenly he hears a click to the side and his eye widens as he looks to his left and sees Martha pointing a shotgun at him. "Hello, foxy."

"Fuck me." Sylvester mutters.

"Maybe, if you be a good boy and lie down." Martha smirks.

Sylvester cringes. "Ewwww. Not with a human slut, I'd prefer a demon slut."

Martha then glares as Sylvester. "Then say goodnight." She hits him with the stock of her shotgun, knocking him out.

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Sylvester wakes up to the sound of Millie and Blitzo struggling. Then he notices he's tied to a pole along with Blitzo and Millie. Ralphie laughs as he pours gasoline onto the demons.

"Huh, this is interesting." Sylvester mutters.

"Sylvester, you okay?" Blitzo asks.

"Yeah, just a slight stinging in the arm and a congested nose, I'm fine."

"Man, I could have been back at our house watching some TV by now, but no Moxxie had to ruin it." Sylvester growls.

"Satan, we return your filthy creatures, back to the pits of hell." Martha says.

"Not cool, I take plenty of baths." Sylvester defends himself.

"May the root of evil remain honored as we continue thy work." Martha then throws the torch she's holding at the base of the whole and the demons light up in flames.

Nothing happens to them.

"Yeah, that's not exactly how it works lady." Blitzo says. "You're fire doesn't really hurt us, but I mean I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard."

Sylvester lets out a small moan. "Oh, that just fixed a cramp in the lower back."

"Oh, shit." Martha grumbles. "Well, I'll just shoot you in your smart ass mouth." She holds up a shotgun.

"That would be more effective."

"Blitz!" Millie yells.

"I think I'll lie down now." Sylvester says as his ear flatten down as Martha aims her shotgun at them.

Suddenly a gunshot goes off but the three feel no pain. They look to see a hole blow through Martha's right eye and she falls to the ground, reveling Moxxie holding a gun, with smoke coming out the barrel.

"Moxxie!" Millie shouts in happiness.

Moxxie runs over to them and starts uniting the rope.

"I don't know how to feel about this." Sylvester mutters.

"You're not getting your goddamn paycheck for this one, mox!" Blitzo says in anger.

The rope comes undone and Sylvester stretches his arms out and pops his back. Blitzo falls to the ground.

Ralphie runs off.

"Oh, yeah, thanks I'm fine." Blitzo whines.

Moxxie helps Blitzo up. "I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way, it won't happen again. I promise."

"Apology accepted." Blitzo hugs Moxxie.

"I'm sad that I didn't get her time." Sylvester says in a sad voice as he stares at the body of Martha.

Blitzo then whispers into Moxxie' ear. "But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will fuck you and your wife." He pusses Moxxie away. "All righty job, well done. Now let's get off." He pulls out a pony toy from his shirt.

"Eh yeah, give me a moment." Moxxie says as Blitzo reaches into his shirt again. "I need to get something I left at the house."

Blitzo pulls out his phone. "Okay, fine, but hurry up." He calls Loona and Moxxie walks off. "Loona we're ready to come home dear."

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Later the group is having a party for Moxxie.

Sylvester his left arm bandaged up and he's eating some cake.

"Did you see my little Mox Mox!" Millie says and she hugs him.

"Yeah, I almost got my head blown off to see it." Sylvester complains.

"Well, here's to another mission accomplished." Blitzo says with a smile. "Moxxie finally learned not to fuck up."

"And killing people isn't that big a deal if they try to kill you back." Millie pats Moxxie on the head.

"That's messed up." Mayberry states. "But I paid for it."

Everyone laughs.

"Yeah, fuck that family." Blitzo says.

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01-11-2023

1984 words