Once We Lived in Nanjing

Lian Qiao realized that Bai Yang's emotions had significantly changed on New Year's Day.

Early in the morning, the two went out for a run, circling around Crescent Lake. The temperature in the morning was below zero, the air clear and biting. Lian Qiao also wrapped herself in a wool scarf, but with a dark fleece turtleneck on top and sports pants below, she was still energetic and crisp. According to Lian Qiao, she needed to keep her body flexible and agile, so she couldn't wrap herself up like a Michelin man.

Bai Yang just felt she was showing off her figure, after all, this big sister's figure was really explosive.

Their morning exercise was the main time for their communication. As a counselor, Lian Qiao required Bai Yang to tell her about all of his mental activities from the day before, including at night, and even his dreams—Lian Qiao claimed she could help interpret dreams. But she was probably a Freudian master of dream interpretation; no matter what Bai Yang dreamed of, she could construe it as youthful agitation, and she could relate any motive to a consciousness of gender.

Bai Yang said he dreamed of a huge black moon falling from the sky, and Lian Qiao seriously said that a big moon is a huge sphere, a huge sphere is a large cup size; face your desires, young man.

Lian Qiao also asked Bai Yang about the frequency of his handcraft activities recently, saying that the frequency and duration of male handcraft activities and female menstrual periods are both significant indicators that can reflect physical and psychological health conditions. Her serious and earnest expression resembled that of an experienced doctor, but when a stammering Bai Yang answered her, Lian Qiao burst into laughter, holding her belly.

It was then that Bai Yang snapped back to reality and realized he had been teased again.

"Tired?" Lian Qiao estimated the distance they had run, climbed up to a viewing platform by the lake, and sat down, patting the seat next to her, "Come sit and rest for a while."

Panting, Bai Yang sat down, looking out at the tranquil dark waters of the lake.

"It's New Year's Day, you know, Happy New Year," Lian Qiao suddenly said.

Bai Yang paused, "Happy New Year to you, too."

"Remember to wish her a Happy New Year when you get back tonight as well," Lian Qiao reminded, "Do you know how to sing that song? The one by Andy Lau and Zhang Weijian that goes, 'My wishes for you, to be vibrant every day...'"

She couldn't remember all the lyrics, so she just hummed the tune.

"What era is that song from?" Bai Yang frowned.

"Haven't you heard it before?" Lian Qiao hummed a few more lines, "Spring breezes blow open a mountainside of flowers, the autumn moon accompanies you to fly across the endless sky, let a hundred bright nights seep into your beautiful dreams, keeping winter frost at bay."

"Never heard it," Bai Yang yawned, "The music you listen to must be older than me, my parents might be more familiar with it."

"What's wrong with old songs? Old songs are classics tested by time." Lian Qiao switched subjects, "You with your yawning face, what time did you go to sleep last night?"

"Two o'clock."

"That's not good," Lian Qiao turned her head, cupping Bai Yang's cheeks with her hands, fixing his head, and then leaned in close to his eyes, "Chronic insomnia, listlessness, it's hard to maintain a work state."

"Tell them, Uncle Zhao and the rest get even less rest than me," Bai Yang pushed her hand away, "Their workload is much heavier than mine, too."

"But I don't need to be responsible for them," Lian Qiao said earnestly, "I just need to be responsible for you. Have you tried the methods I taught you?"

"I did."

"And it's still the same?"

"It's still the same," Bai Yang nodded.

"Do you need me to make an appointment with a doctor for you?" asked Lian Qiao.

"Do you think a doctor would help?"

Lian Qiao fell silent for a few seconds, took a deep breath, patted Bai Yang's shoulder forcefully, and squeezed out a bright smile, "Cheer up! There's always a way for a car before the mountain, a bridge straightens itself when the boat gets there, our plan is progressing smoothly, and you can't fail us at this critical point,"

"Uncle Zhao and the others are responsible to our superiors, you are responsible for me, so who should I be responsible to?" Bai Yang asked.

You're responsible for the young miss.

Someone answered like this.

Bai Yang quickly turned his head and found Lian Qiao was thinking. She hadn't been the one speaking just now.

Bai Yang raised his hand to tug at his hair, a sudden, almost twitch-like pain throbbing in the depths of his brain, murmuring softly, "I'm responsible for the young miss?"

"Mmm... It's not wrong to say that, you are indeed responsible for her…" Lian Qiao nodded, but before she could finish her sentence, she met his gaze. Within the depths of those eyes, it seemed like there was a deep well, and at the bottom of the well was cold, unfathomable water. This took Lian Qiao by surprise, it was hard to imagine why a high school senior would have such a look in his eyes. That gaze was clearly doubtful, scrutinizing, as if to say: Can you really be responsible for her? Do you really want to be responsible for her?

Lian Qiao realized Bai Yang's doubts weren't recent. When the whole team was abuzz with enthusiasm, this young man sat at the eye of the storm, seemingly unaffected and untouched. Although only a wall apart, the atmosphere in the living room and the bedroom was starkly different—the living room was sober, bright, tense and orderly, while the bedroom was filled with anxiety, darkness, coldness, and oppression. Lian Qiao tried hard to pull Bai Yang out of the darkness, but she always found herself at a loss when faced with his questions.

Bai Yang asked her: Are we using her?

Lian Qiao said, you must believe that we are saving her.

Bai Yang then asked: Who, exactly, is saving whom?

He coldly observed the work of those around him, confronting the common problem with a wholly different attitude. As for what he was thinking in his heart, Lian Qiao didn't know. She found it hard to truly put herself in Bai Yang's position and consider his perspective. The situation this young high school student faced was unprecedented in human history, and each time he silently sat in the dark bedroom, Lian Qiao always felt she couldn't see through him.